Yunyun's Turn

by Natsume Akatsuki

  “Okay, we’ve already got a mixologist, so why don’t we start you on ingredient collection. Go to the forest and bring me three One-Punch Bear livers, if you would.”

  Yes, for the sake of those companions I had yet even to meet, I would—

  “………What did you just say?”

  “I said: Bring back the livers of three One-Punch Bears. Oh, you can take that potion there; it produces an aroma the monsters like. Should lure them in.” The potion shop–owner had a big grin on his face.

  One-Punch Bears would be an intimidating opponent for the average adventurer, but for a Crimson Magicker fresh out of school with advanced magic under her belt, they were simple experience-point fodder.

  But as for me… When I was done with them, there wouldn’t be a liver left to collect…

  …Apparently, I wasn’t cut out to be a potion maker, either.

  I left the store at a loss.

  …I’m at a loss.

  So, so lost.

  They called me a genius, yet, somehow, here I was, unemployed. In fact, it was worse than that: I was living off the scraps of food my little sister kept bringing home from who knew where. It was enough to make me question my standing not just as a wizard but as a human being.

  The potion guy had told me that if nothing else, he could give me work testing new potions. I couldn’t change who I was: Maybe I should just go ahead and risk life and limb to test mysterious concoctions. But I was smaller than the other girls my age and malnourished… Would I really make it as a test subject?

  Trying to figure out what to do was starting to drive me crazy, but mulling it over in my current mental state wasn’t going to get me anywhere.

  Yes, when I started feeling this way, there was only one thing to do.

  It was time to go home and sleep, in preparation for tonight’s you-know-what.

  4

  Midnight. When everyone was asleep and only the faintest chirping of insects could be heard, the roar of an explosion tore through the peaceful night. A moment later came the bell that signaled an emergency.

  “Agaaaaain?!”

  “That fiend won’t get away this time!”

  I could hear the shouting here and there around the village. The adults who had been so rudely awoken out of their slumber were well and truly angry, and instead of torches or lamps, a firework display of magic lit the skies. It was so bright, it was impossible to believe it was the middle of the night. Two shadows crept through the artificial noon.

  “Komekko, quickly! Eeeyow-ow-ow-ow! K-Komekko! Pull me by the torso, not the feet!”

  Yes, it was us.

  “The fireworks are great tonight, Sis! Can we see them tomorrow, too?”

  “I’m afraid they’ll catch on if it happens every day… But, well, perhaps if we feel like it. S-say, Komekko, I’m glad you’re pulling me by the torso now, but do you think you could be a little gentler…?!”

  Having fired my Explosion into the night sky, I had used up all my magic and immobilized myself; Komekko was dragging me along the ground. Now, obviously, one little girl of her age didn’t have the strength to simply pull me along. We had a sort of wooden sled to help her, but because the sled itself was small, part of me stuck out off it. When she pulled me by the legs, I thought the ride might knock off my head, but being pulled by my torso wasn’t proving much better…

  “But we gotta hurry or those people will find us, right?”

  With all the strength remaining in my body, I craned my neck as far as I could. In the sky above, I could see the magical bursts from the adults getting closer.

  Th-this is bad!

  “Komekko, be a little rough if you have to! We need to get out of here now!”

  “Roger that!”

  At the moment, Crimson Magic Village was well accustomed to a certain string of attacks at the hands of someone in the Demon King’s army. What kind of attack, you ask? A nasty little prank where they would set off an explosion in the dead of night while everyone was asleep. What could they possibly want? Were they really just trying to annoy people? Every time it happened, trackers would go out into the wilderness around the village, but they never managed to catch the culprit. From the size of the craters and how swiftly the attacker escaped, people had begun to conclude that the terrorist must be at least as strong as a general of the Demon King.

  The next morning, after Komekko and I had gotten safely home.

  “Come out of there alreadyyyy!”

  It was much too early for that sort of commotion. I opened the door, rubbing my weary eyes.

  “…Oh, Yunyun. You’re making quite the ruckus. I wish you would consider the neighbors before making so much noise.”

  “You’re one to talk, Megumin! Seriously, how can you even say that? I’ve been on a wild-goose chase since last night trying to find the person who set off that explosion!”

  She did indeed have big bags under her eyes, apparently on account of having been hard at work all night.

  “I don’t know why you would tell me such a thing. This criminal appears to be at least on the level of a general of the Demon King. I wish you would complain to them and not to me.”

  I tried to feign indifference, but Yunyun scrunched up her face and leaned in very close to me. “Well now, Megumin. You really believe that all these recent explosion scares are the work of the Demon King and his army?”

  “Of course. Such magnificent explosions must be the doing of some very powerful general. I hardly blame the people of the village and novice Crimson Magic Clan members like yourself for having your hands full.”

  Yunyun’s temple twitched. “Huh! And it’s complete coincidence that this ‘general’ of the Demon King decides to do their dastardly deeds precisely on the nights when you, Megumin, have been out looking for work and failed to get hired. Again!” By now, she had a hold of my shoulders and was even closer to me.

  “Sh-sheer chance, I’m sure! Or what? Are you saying you suspect me? You of all people know that when I set off my explosions, the expenditure of MP leaves me paralyzed!”

  She might have me by the shoulders, but she didn’t have me cornered. This time it was her mouth that twitched.

  “Reaaaaaallly?! And it’s also coincidence that the only time little Komekko, who always gets up early, decides to sleep in is on the days after those explosions. Is that right?!”

  Curses, she’s well prepared!

  “Wh-what is this, Yunyun?! Could it be that in fact you truly do suspect me?! I am disappointed! Yes, I am disappointed in you, Yunyun! I always took you for a friend, but it seems you didn’t feel the same way! True friends never doubt each other!”

  Yunyun, red eyes flashing and a blue vein standing out on her forehead, grabbed my face in her hands. “If you think I’ll forgive anything and everything just because you drop the word friend, you are sooooo wroooong!”

  “Ahhhh stop okay I get it! My brain! My precious genius brain!”

  Under Yunyun’s violent shaking of my ever-so-delicate head, I confessed everything.

  “Honestly! Why are you like this, Megumin? Are you an idiot? Everyone is all, Ooh, there goes Megumin! She’s so smart! but maybe it turns out that a genius is just one step away from being a complete moron.”

  “Urgh…”

  I sat on the floor in a formal posture while Yunyun lectured me.

  She had recently joined the community watch. It didn’t pay anything, and as a matter of fact, it didn’t watch much of anything, either, but at times like this, it had an unfortunate habit of going into action. As I now understood, I had been Yunyun’s prime suspect ever since the first explosion.

  “Yes, it’s true I’m the wrongdoer in this case, but I must say that I’m disappointed to discover you would so readily doubt your friends, Yunyun.”

  “Are you still going on about that?! Listen, you’re lucky I was the one who figured it out! What do you think would have happened if somebody else had gotten to you first? Everyone has such high hopes for
you. If they find out you spent all your points learning Explosion, you’ll be the one they’re disappointed in!”

  I wilted a bit under Yunyun’s tirade.

  Explosion was just a gimmick. A parlor trick. It took a ludicrous amount of MP most people didn’t even have. And its destructive potential was essentially the definition of the word overkill. Considering the vast number of skill points required to learn it, wizards everywhere agreed that anyone who would take Explosion was a huge idiot.

  Still sitting, I tried to grab a discreet glance at Yunyun. “If I may say so, I believe I showed quite a bit of restraint, don’t you? It has been nearly six months since I learned Explosion, you see? I know my level of patience is impressive, but even I have my limits.”

  “Y-you’re not going to talk your way out of this one! Until this blows over, I forbid you from using explosion magic! Understand?”

  “I will take careful consideration of your words in determining what parts of myself might best be improved going forward.”

  “………”

  “O-okay, I get it! Just back up a little when you have that look on your face!”

  5

  All this had taken place in the entryway of the house, so I finally decided to invite Yunyun in.

  “So?” she asked. “What are your plans? You can’t find any work, right?” She was stroking Chomusuke, who had curled up on our little tea table.

  I had no plans; I couldn’t find work, and that was that. “I guess I have no choice,” I said. “As a last resort, I suppose I shall have to sell my body.”

  Yes, the only option remaining was to take the potion maker’s offer of being his guinea pig. I was nervous, of course, but my body was all I had left to my name.

  “Whaaat?! Wh-what are you saying?! M-Megumin, what exactly are you talking about?! You should value yourself more than that!” Yunyun was in a tizzy, first blushing furiously, then going completely pale.

  “Easy for you to say, but I’m out of options. And considering how much smaller and frailer I am than most other girls, I don’t even know if I’ll be good enough for this. I’ll just have to ask.”

  Maybe it hadn’t been the best choice to cut gym all the time. I had been at the absolute bottom of the class when it came to athletic ability. I couldn’t say if I had the wherewithal to be a test subject. Then again, if the idea was to discover potential side effects, maybe a weak youth like me would be preferable?

  “N-n-n-n-no way—you can’t! And d-don’t give up on your body! You’re only thirteen! You still have lots of growing to do! I’m pretty sure it’s just because you’re so malnourished! Look, I’ll buy you some milk later, so…”

  Yunyun spoke with real sympathy in her voice. But for some reason, her eyes kept wandering down to my chest.

  Anyway, I was sure she was right: Malnutrition and lack of exercise certainly hadn’t helped my physical condition. But why milk? Personally, I would much prefer something that would keep me full a little longer…

  “Still, he did make me an offer. Maybe I’ll go ahead and take the potion maker up on it…”

  “Him? He always looked like such a decent person…and he asked you to do that?! He won’t get away with this! Just because a poor girl comes to him, helpless and needy, he thinks he can take advantage of her…?!” Yunyun, who had been sitting down calm and ladylike, jumped to her feet, her hands balled into fists.

  G-goodness, she looked like she was ready to beat his face in. I grant there was some danger in testing new potions, but did it really warrant this level of unfettered rage? Seeing her so genuinely concerned about me, I felt a little confused and embarrassed.

  “‘T-take advantage’… Those are some loaded words. He’s just trying to help someone who needs money… Yes, I’m a little nervous—even a little scared—but that potion maker is known for his ability, so I’m sure I’ll be in good hands. I’ll just have to close my eyes and bear it for half a day or so. Easy work.”

  “‘His ability’?! What?! That old fart is famous for that?! And he has a wife and kids! I can’t believe it!”

  I had been trying to calm Yunyun down, but she seemed even angrier than before. Her eyes flashed red with rage. What was going on to make her so upset? Did she mean to suggest that he shouldn’t subject some random neighborhood girl to his concoctions when he had perfectly good children of his own to test them on?

  “I-it’s really all right, Yunyun. I had my thirteenth birthday a few months ago. I’m not a child anymore. And the shopkeeper specifically said there was something he’d been wanting to try on a girl just my age…”

  Allegedly, it would prevent a particular illness that teenage girls were especially prone to.

  “That tears it! I’ll never forgive him! Something he wants to ‘try’ on a girl your age, Megumin?! I’m gonna burn that potion shop to the ground!”

  “Wait! What’s wrong with you today, Yunyun? Waaait!”

  6

  Yunyun and I walked through the village. I distantly registered the weight of Chomusuke resting on my shoulder.

  “My goodness! You know, I have thought for some time now that you are far too obsessed with carnal matters, Yunyun! Why would I ever reduce myself to such base employment?”

  “Awww, but—but, but! Megumin, you chose the most misleading way possible to explain yourself!”

  Both of us had eventually realized something was off in our discussion earlier and had finally resolved the misunderstanding.

  “In any event, the frailty of body of which I spoke was entirely that of malnutrition, leaving me physically weakened and vulnerable to illness! It was not a comment on the state of my growth! Don’t you go looking down on me just because you’ve had a bit of a growth spurt lately!”

  “If you really mean that, then why were you so eager to accept the milk I offered you? You know, I thought that whole thing sounded strange! Why would someone propose something like that to someone as fragile as you, Megumin?”

  “Hey, I heard that! Don’t try to walk it back! You call me fragile, but a body type like mine is necessary for some people! I have had just about enough of your gloating. Even though you’ve grown more than I have, you’re still nowhere near Arue’s level—a very strange half measure for anybody to take, if you ask me!”

  “H-half measure? What are you talking about?!” She stopped and spun to look at me.

  “Oh yes, you’re very much stuck in the middle! Your body is only a half measure, just like your magic! And I’m sure the same applies to your male suitors— Ahhh! Wh-what are you doing?”

  “Whyyy, youuuu!”

  As Yunyun flung herself at me, tears in her eyes, Chomusuke tumbled from my shoulder. I picked her up by the scruff of the neck and put her back. This time, she dug in her claws a bit to make sure it wouldn’t happen again.

  When Yunyun saw Chomusuke and me, it seemed to take the wind out of her sails. “…For goodness’ sake. Just stop worrying me like that.” She still looked a little put out.

  “Oh-ho, are you saying you are worried about me, your rival?”

  “Huh?! N-no, that’s not…! I was worried, you know! I was worried you might cast Explosion to work off your frustration when you still can’t get a job, and then I’d be up all night again! Come on—let’s go!”

  Yunyun, ever flip-flopping between sweet and sour, resumed walking in front of me.

  After our little chat about the potion maker, I had opened up to Yunyun about how I needed money for my trip but couldn’t seem to find any work, and she had offered to help me look for a job. She might gripe and moan, but she was actually quite a soft touch who did like to look out for people.

  Even so, I had already been rejected by every workshop in town. I didn’t think there was anywhere else to go for work…

  “Here it is! This place gets really crowded at lunch, but there’s just one guy running it all by himself! It seems like he really has it rough. I’m sure he’d hire you! When we would have days off from school, and I felt too lo
nely to eat by myself, so I would always sit on this bench and watch all the people go by while I ate.”

  Yunyun had brought me to a popular restaurant. We were sitting on a bench, observing the place from a distance. I caught Yunyun’s bit of oversharing there but decided it would be kindest to let it go.

  “Hmm. It’s true that that restaurant is always bustling, and there’s a good chance they would hire me, but…”

  I trailed off, and Yunyun cocked her head. “Is something wrong? The owner is really nice. Like, sometimes when I was sitting by myself on this bench, he would come up to me and say, ‘It’s so cold out; why not sit at a table inside?’”

  “Please stop. The pity is killing me. Anyway, why wouldn’t you just order a meal there like a normal person?! …Ahem, but as for my objection to this place, I’m concerned about how low the salary will be outside of magical item or potion production.”

  “If that’s how you pick your jobs, you’ll never find anything! If you don’t get started saving some money, you’ll never have the transporter fee, right?! What happened to your dream of meeting that ‘robed woman’ you told me about? Come on—we’re going in there!”

  Grrr… I couldn’t deny her logic.

  Yunyun took my hand and dragged me, still pouting, toward the restaurant.

  “Pardon me. I’d like to ask about a job here.”

  I waited until some of the customers had finished eating and the owner looked like he had a spare moment. I asked him for an interview—emphasis on I, because as forceful as Yunyun had been with me, it turned out that she wilted in the face of people she didn’t know so well, leaving me to start the conversation. However, she did intend to be present for the proceedings, apparently; she was cowering behind me at the moment.

  “Hmm? Oh, you’re Hyoizaburou’s girl… Megumin, right? You want a job here? Fine by me, but you know I can’t pay as much as a magical item workshop or the potion place, right?”