Yunyun's Turn

by Natsume Akatsuki

  “I would never do something so wasteful. If I had enough slime to fill the bathwater, I would keep it all to myself!”

  I was getting a little fed up with Cecily; beside me, Zesta suddenly looked serious. “……A follower of the Demon King. Demons… Hmm. This odor I’ve been getting whiffs of around town recently… could it be the stink of a Devil…?”

  “Why the dark look, Mr. Zesta?” Yunyun asked, peering at him with concern. “All we did was say the word demons…”

  Suddenly, she glanced behind us and froze. That made me look back, too…

  When I saw who she was looking at, I could offer only a wry comment to Chomusuke, who was at my feet.

  “For her to follow you this far… You’re a popular one.”

  There before us was a demoness, complete with a hooded robe to hide her horns. It was Arnes, a thin smile on her face.

  7

  Arnes regarded Yunyun and me with a slow smile, like she was enjoying herself. I grabbed Chomusuke and backed up, Yunyun retreating alongside me.

  “…Well now, it’s been a while. You really made my life miserable last time, didn’t you?”

  “What’s going on here?! Megumin, Yunyun, explain this woman and her outrageous costume!” Zesta exclaimed, clearly misunderstanding the situation, but Arnes just grinned nastily. Yunyun pulled out her wand and assumed a fighting posture, alert and vigilant. As for me, I held up Chomusuke to shield myself.

  “…You must be feeling pretty confident to walk around out in the open like this. Are you really that desperate to get Chomusuke?”

  “Megumin, what exactly is your relationship to this woman who so eagerly displays that massive bust of hers?!”

  “Her name’s not Chomusuke. Call her Lady Wolbach… And now your loathsome little friends aren’t here to help you. Normally, I would just crush you like insects, but seeing as Lady Wolbach appears to have taken a liking to you—”

  “Megumin, answer me! I insist you tell me who this shameless woman is! It’s scandalous, I tell you! Scandalous to hide that body beneath those robes! And yet, amid the scandal, I sense a certain refined beauty. I might compare it to… Yes! Wearing a jacket over a swimsuit…!”

  “That’s enough out of you! I don’t know who you are, but get lost!” Arnes, frustrated at having her big speech interrupted, made a dismissive shooing gesture.

  “Zesta, please kindly do not antagonize her too much. Arnes here is an enemy of ours. She wants this fur ball and has been chasing us to get her.”

  “Oh-ho, you mean your dear Chomusuke? Tell me, would Arnes happen to be the type who looks tough on the outside but actually has a fuzzy, soft side within?”

  “That’s probably enough, guys…,” Yunyun said. “I don’t think this is doing anything to improve her mood…”

  I looked at Arnes to discover her eyes narrowed and her temple twitching. She didn’t seem to like that we weren’t acting very intimidated. “Listen up, you bugs. If you don’t want to get hurt—”

  “Tell me, Miss, what should we do if we do want to get hurt?”

  “M-Mr. Zesta!” Yunyun exclaimed. Zesta was busily displaying his characteristic excess of carelessness and inability to read a situation.

  “One of those, eh? Well, you asked for it…!”

  Arnes smirked, whipping her hand into the air.

  “This isn’t going to be pleasant! Fireball!”

  As Arnes brought her hand down, a ball of flames emerged from her palm, rocketing toward Zesta.

  Oh no…!

  “So you’re one of those demon girls…,” Zesta said with a sigh of disappointment. Then he raised his hand toward the incoming fireball. “Reflect!”

  “Huh?!” A wall of light formed instantly, deflecting the magic fireball…right at Arnes. She dodged nimbly but looked at Zesta with fresh surprise. Raising her hand had knocked her hood back, revealing her horns. “…Impressive. I thought you were just some sick old man, but I see you’ve got a few tricks up your sleeve.”

  I hated to admit it, but I agreed with her. I had also thought Zesta was just a sicko.

  Zesta heaved a sigh. “Ahhh… A demon girl… I’m open to anything, orcs or ogres or what have you, but demon girls alone are forbidden to love by the precepts of the Axis faith—most unfortunate.” He turned to Arnes. “A demon… I see… A demon, hmm? Yes, you certainly do reek of evil.” There was the ghost of a smile on his lips, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

  Even with Zesta confronting her, Arnes seemed unconcerned. She stared him down for a moment; then, to my surprise, she smiled. “I reek of evil? You sure know how to make a girl feel special. So? What can one measly human priest do to me?”

  “Bury you.”

  “…?!” Arnes looked around to discover Cecily standing behind her.

  The Axis priestess had none of the lackadaisical air of just moments before. Nor did Zesta. The looks in their eyes suggested neither of them was the least bit amused now.

  Still trying to act casual, Arnes said, “You humans say the craziest things! I serve the great and powerful goddess Lady Wolbach, and you—”

  “Sacred High Exorcism!”

  The spell didn’t strike Arnes directly. It flew past her, landing on the ground. A white magical circle sprang up, filling the air with a blinding light. When Arnes saw that, her jaw went slack. I didn’t recognize this spell, but it looked pretty fatal for a demon. Arnes, staring at Zesta and trembling, seemed to know that all too well.

  …And I had been so sure he was just some sicko.

  “I believe I’ve neglected to introduce myself, Miss Arnes,” Zesta said, causing Arnes to flinch. “I am the Arch-priest Zesta, pontifex of the Axis Church.”

  As the gravity of those words dawned on her, Arnes started to sweat.

  “I daresay there is no priest in the Axis Church of a higher level than I.”

  Now she was backing away, her face pale.

  “And me, I’m the gorgeous Axis priestess Cecily!”

  Arnes shook again as she remembered there was someone behind her.

  “Cecily, my dear, I believe we’ve found the author of our recent misfortunes.”

  “Yes indeed, Lord Zesta. This demon certainly put you through hell!”

  “Wh-what are you talking about?! I didn’t do anything! I-I’ve spent all my time since I got here looking for Lady Wolbach…” Arnes, her voice hoarse, tried to deny it, but Zesta and Cecily had already made up their minds.

  Zesta dived for the demoness, but she ducked past Cecily.

  “She’s getting away, Cecily! After her! This is a demon we’re dealing with; they’ll let us do anything we want to her! In the name of the Axis Church, we’ll make her regret being born an evil being!”

  “Got it, Lord Zesta! Hang the demon!”

  Shouting some truly awful things, Zesta and Cecily went charging after Arnes, who was in tears, running for her life.

  8

  “…What just happened?”

  “Don’t ask me. I’d like to know the same thing.” Yunyun and I stood, staring vacantly in the direction in which Zesta and the others had disappeared, leaving us where we were. “…Well. What are you going to do now, Yunyun? I expect to stay here until I’ve worked long enough to save up the money for my carriage fare. After that, I’ll head to Axel. I had already been planning to find party members in that town, and now I’ve learned that there’s another wizard in Axel who can use Explosion.” I couldn’t be certain that it was the woman I was looking for, but it was the closest thing I had to a lead.

  “Uh… M-me, I was thinking I might go to Axel, you know, to hunt weak monsters as part of my training…”

  “I see. What a fine coincidence. Well, you feel free to go on ahead. I will follow once I have enough money.”

  “Huh?!” Yunyun seemed unhappy about this. “B-but! I… I guess it’s not like I’m in a hurry or anything. I was thinking I might do some sightseeing around Arcanletia and then head over to Axel…” Her eyes darted this way and that
as she spoke.

  Chomusuke wandered over to Yunyun’s feet. She looked up at Yunyun, almost expectantly, and Yunyun glanced away from her a little too quickly.

  ………

  “Come to think of it, Chomusuke has been getting food from somewhere ever since we got to this town. Might you have any idea where she’s been finding it?”

  “H-how should I know?! Chomusuke’s a cat. You don’t think she’s just finding food for herself?!” Yunyun still couldn’t look at me, and now her voice was hoarse, too. And as for Chomusuke, she was sitting stone-still at Yunyun’s feet, obviously waiting for something.

  “…Yunyun, Chomusuke seems to think you have something for her.”

  “Yeah, maybe she wants me to play with her, since we haven’t seen each other in so long! W-welp, guess I better get back to my hotel! It’s the one near the town gate, so if you need anything…”

  “Oh, Megumin, still here? My goodness, that was one fleet-footed demon. Seeing her weep was just such a joy, but after she absorbed several spells that should have been fatal, she got away.”

  Yunyun, talking fast and trying to make her exit, was interrupted by Zesta, who returned appearing profoundly satisfied.

  “…You look awfully pleased about it.”

  “How can you say such a thing? It pains me to the core that she got away. Cecily is off looking for her with some other devotees… Ah yes, my dear Megumin, if I may.” Zesta took my hand and pressed a small pouch into it.

  “…? What’s this?”

  “Fare for a carriage that will ferry you to the town of Axel.” I practically froze when he said that, but he went on. “The conversion methods you bestowed upon us will surely be of great help to our church. We will endeavor to refine and perfect them—yes, until our evangelism becomes the very hallmark of this city. That money is just a small token of our appreciation.”

  He seemed inspired, but I started to worry that I had done truly irreversible damage to the town.

  “So, Megumin,” Zesta went on, “what will you do about this evening? You’re more than welcome to stay at the Axis Church again, but if I’m not mistaken, there should still be another carriage to Axel at this hour. Will you stay in Arcanletia or head straight there?”

  Head straight to Axel?

  …I desperately wanted to. I wanted to get there as quickly as I could and start learning about that woman. I wanted to find some party members, and I wanted to finally unleash the Explosion I’d been holding inside all this time!

  “I’m going! I’m going right now!”

  “Whaaat?!” Yunyun sounded oddly surprised at my decisive response, but… Ohhh. Now I get it.

  “Didn’t you say you were planning some sightseeing in Arcanletia, Yunyun? I will just go on ahead to Axel.”

  “N-no way! Uh, I changed my mind, too! Because, uh, if I let you go to Axel without me and do a bunch of training, I’ll never catch up!”

  “True, you were always such a hard worker, Yunyun.” I smirked.

  “W-well, whatever!” Yunyun said pointedly, looking away from me.

  Zesta seemed to sense what was going on. “Say, Megumin, since you’re here, why not stay another night? There are plenty of followers at our church who would love the chance to say good-bye.”

  “Now that you mention it, that might be a good idea.”

  “Whaaat?!”

  By the time Zesta and I had had our fun, teasing Yunyun to the point where she finally tried to get us back, it was well and truly night.

  9

  “Phew…” I let out a long breath as I soaked in the outdoor bath at the Axis Church. This being the Axis Church, I was a little afraid of Peeping Toms, but the most likely perpetrator, Zesta, had been subjected to a lightning bolt from an enraged Yunyun not long before. He would probably be out cold until at least tomorrow.

  Given that the Axis Church worships the goddess of water, I had been expecting a big outdoor pool that one could swim in, but it turned out to be nothing of the sort. It was large enough to stretch your legs, but if we’d had more than a couple of people in here, it would have gotten awfully cramped.

  “What a lovely bath, Megumin. Hoo-hoo… Bathing with that child… Hoo-hoo-hoo…”

  “I’m sorry, but that laugh is incredibly unsettling.”

  In fact, the place was already starting to feel a little cramped.

  “Aw, all I’m saying is that this church doesn’t have many female followers for some reason, so I don’t get a lot of chances to share a bath with another woman.”

  “There’s something about the wolflike glint in your eyes that makes me feel like I’m not much safer with you than I would be with a man. And last night, there was all that vaguely harass-y stuff.” Here I was, sharing the bath at the Axis Church with Cecily, the very woman who had first brought me to this place. But… “I know there isn’t much space here, but do you have to be quite so close to me?”

  “Sorry. As you say, not much choice! If one of my fingers just happens to run along your baby-soft skin, Megumin… I mean, it’s practically inevitable!”

  “For your reference, I’m not the type of person who takes harassment lying down! You won’t just have your way like you did last night!” I scuttled away from my “older sister,” who was uncomfortably close, and submerged myself up to my mouth.

  “Ahhh, today was great, though,” Cecily said. “I haven’t had so much fun in a long time. You really seem to know how to get along with Axis followers. You said you were going to look for party members in Axel, right? If you decide to get a priest, make sure they’re Axis! They’ll bring you good luck—I guarantee it!”

  “N-no thanks, I’d much rather have a diligent, serious Eris follower… E-excuse me, but maybe you could give me a little more personal space…”

  “I told you, it’s a small bath. And even so, I hear it was pretty darn expensive. Apparently, they hired some wizard who knew blasting magic to carve it out. See how the tub is a perfect circle?”

  “Blasting magic…” I touched the edge of the tub, and indeed, it was completely smooth, obviously polished by powerful magic.

  “Yep. I guess there aren’t that many people who know that spell, so it wasn’t easy to find one. And honestly, we would have liked to hire someone who could use detonation magic instead.” Cecily sighed happily, sliding into the water until it was up to her neck.

  The bath was out behind the church building, where the wizard had excavated a small crater. A good Detonation spell here would be a simple way to enlarge the bath.

  …So what if someone was to go all out and use Explosion?

  “Big Sister?”

  “Yeah? And let’s get past ‘Big Sis’ already. I would love it if you would call me ‘dear, sweet Cecily’ in a sultry voice.”

  “Big Sister. Ahem, you say you want a larger bath?”

  “Sure would be nice. This tub draws directly from the main spring of the mountain, so we would have plenty of water no matter how big it was… What’s the matter? Your eyes are kind of…glimmering.”

  The bigger the better, eh?

  If I was carrying my staff, I could have wiped this entire bath out of existence. But now, empty-handed? My Explosion (with its power halved sans my staff) would make the biggest, best bath in the entire city.

  These people had been kind enough to give me carriage fare to Axel—I still didn’t understand exactly why—and I thought it would be nice to leave them with something in return.

  “…I myself can use Explosion.”

  “…What?”

  No, no, let’s forgo the silly justifications. This wasn’t to pay anyone back: It was simply and purely because I wanted to set off an explosion and see if I could make a bath.

  “May I use my spell here to create the biggest bath in town?”

  “You sure can… I mean, heck yes, you can! In the Axis Church, we have a teaching: ‘As long as it’s not a crime, you’re free to do whatever you please.’ So put your whole heart into that explosion!
”

  …That was the moment.

  The one moment when I thought maybe, just maybe, I could consider joining the Axis Church.

  “Very well, Big Sister.”

  “Call me Big Sis!”

  “B-Big Sister, stand back! Wizard at work! …Here I go! This is the explosion I’ve been holding in ever since I got to Arcanletia!”

  Cecily and I got out of the tub, and I picked my target…!

  “Explooosion!”

  My Explosion that day? It outdid the day-to-day trouble caused by the Axis Church. It was more talked about than the mysterious demon lady, more shocking than whatever molehills the people of Arcanletia had been busy turning into mountains.

  Not a soul in the city could remember the last time they’d been so surprised.

  10

  We were at the carriage station. Zesta and Cecily were there to see us off; Yunyun and I meant to catch a ride to Axel.

  “Goodness gracious, I never imagined you could use explosion magic. I don’t know how to thank you. That bath is so big now, every follower in the Church could get in there at once.”

  “There won’t be any mixed bathing, Lord Zesta.”

  “Oh, don’t call it that. Just think of it as deepening the bonds among fellow believers.”

  “No mixed bathing.”

  “…Ahem, well, in any event, that bath will be the prized possession of the Axis Church. Please feel free to visit and have a soak any time you happen to be in town.”

  “Thank you. When I find some party members, I’ll make sure that if we ever decide to go on a trip, Arcanletia is our first destination.”

  “We’ll be waiting for you. Next time, we’ll show you what the Church is like when we really get down to business! We’ll fill your pockets so full of Axis professions of faith—!”

  I found Zesta’s promises deeply unsettling. I gave him a strained smile and boarded the carriage.

  …But just then, Zesta did something unusual. He brought his hands together like he was praying and intoned some sort of magic spell.