Drunk on a Plane

by Zane Mitchell

  “You and her have a thing or something?”

  I grinned. Back in the alley at Gino’s, I’d thought it was possible that I’d seen a spark of jealousy, but now I was sure I saw it. “Jealousy doesn’t look good on you, Nico.”

  “Jealousy?” She slugged me. “Don’t get it twisted, you ass-napkin. I just want my fucking key back. And all the cops are going to do is fuck it up.”

  Al lifted his brows at Nico. He hitched a thumb towards her. “This is the girl that pulled a gun on you in your room?”

  “Yes! This is the girl.”

  “I mean, don’t get me wrong or anything. She’s a good-looking dame, but she’s got a mouth on her like a drunken sailor.”

  I stifled a laugh.

  Nico rolled her eyes at him. “Oh, the dinosaur’s got jokes. Fabulous. Now come on, let’s get in there. We need to find Ozzy and get my key back.”

  I held her arm, preventing her from moving. “No. We can’t go in there half-cocked. They’ve got security guards all over the place. They’ll take us down in a second. We need to wait for Officer Cruz so she can go in there with us and take control of the situation.”

  Al nodded. “I agree with Drunk. Without island law enforcement, we won’t be able to stop anyone. And we’ll all wind up in jail.”

  Nico threw her arms up and began to pace while the sounds of the siren got louder. “You know, this would all be a helluva lot better if I had a gun that fucking had bullets in it.” She shook her empty gun in my face.

  “You were trying to kill me with it, so ex-fucking-scuse me for trying not to get shot.” I was sick of hearing about how I’d tossed all her ammunition.

  Al pointed at Nico. “You need a gun? Gary’s got another gun in his glove compartment box.”

  I palmed my forehead. Gary was going to flip when he saw what had been done to his vehicle, and now Al was just casually handing out his guns like they were Tootsie Rolls.

  “Yeah, I need a gun!” said Nico excitedly.

  “Gary’s not gonna like you giving his gun to a perfect stranger.”

  While Al crawled inside Gary’s vehicle to retrieve the gun, Nico reached a hand out and pinched my lips together. “Shut it, Drunk.”

  I swatted her hand away.

  Al emerged with a handgun and a box of ammo. While Nico and I loaded up, the police cruiser pulled up behind our vehicle.

  Officer Cruz emerged. “What’s the 411?”

  “The two guys who killed Camila Vergado and Jimmie Wallace are inside, and so is the kid who ordered the hit. They have a hostage. It’s Artie Balladares, the owner of the Seacoast Majestic.”

  “You said the kid who ordered the hit?”

  I nodded. “Ozzy Messina, probably in his early twenties. Brown spiky hair and oversized grey suit. He’s carrying stolen goods worth millions.”

  “What kind of stolen goods?”

  “Cryptocurrency cold storage keys. Each key is worth a ton. One alone is worth approximately seventeen million dollars,” said Nico.

  Officer Cruz nodded. “I’ve called for backup. I appreciate you giving me a heads-up, though. If we can get this collar made, it’s gonna look really good for me in front of my boss.”

  “It’s the least we can do. We really appreciated you helping us out with the Camila Vergado situation.”

  Nico shot us an overly fake smile. “Aw, look at you two, scratching each other’s backs. Isn’t this sweet?” Then her face sobered and the smile disappeared. “Now can we get the fuck inside and get these guys before they take off with my boss’s money?”

  “She’s really charming, Drunk. Where’d you find this one? The gutter?” asked Officer Cruz with a half smirk.

  Al couldn’t help but laugh while Nico’s balled fists shook by her sides.

  With no time for a snappy comeback, I led the crew towards the terminal. “Let’s go. We have to hurry. There’s a flight back to the States boarding on the tarmac right now.”

  Officer Cruz led the charge through the small, crowded terminal towards the Delta kiosk, when all of a sudden we heard a commotion on the other side of the room. Travelers and employees alike screamed and ran for the exit. Many hid behind the airport’s bench seats, in doorways, and behind counters.

  We raced in that direction and found Bruce holding Artie in a headlock with a gun to his head. Colin and Ozzy flanked the two men with their guns drawn as well. Three security guards with guns drawn had cornered the four men. The four of us crouched behind one of the terminal desks.

  “Drop your weapons!” hollered one of the security guards.

  “Get any closer and I’ll shoot this man!” Bruce shouted back.

  Ozzy aimed his gun at one of the security guards. “Put your guns down!” When they didn’t do immediately as he’d ordered, he screamed again. “Down!”

  Slowly, the three security guards lowered their weapons to the ground. No sooner had they stood back up again, this time unarmed, than Ozzy fired off two shots. One hit a guard in the stomach and the other in the leg. The two men fell to the ground. Colin discharged his weapon next, shooting the third security guard and sending him to the ground. The sound of the gunshots ricocheted off the walls and new screams filled the terminal. They began to ease their way towards the exit door behind them.

  Officer Cruz stood then and trained her gun on the men. “Freeze!”

  Ozzy, Colin, and Bruce all fired at her as they kept walking.

  She managed to get off a few shots, but then crouched back down as bullets whizzed past her.

  More sirens sounded in the distance. Officer Cruz’s backup was on its way. We just couldn’t let Ozzy and his guys get to that plane, where they could force the pilot to take off.

  Bruce shoved Artie through the exit while Ozzy and Colin covered him. Officer Cruz and I stood and fired at them, but Ozzy and Colin got out the door onto the tarmac.

  “Let’s get ’em!” shouted Nico, jumping over the counter and rushing the door.

  Al stood up.

  I held his shoulder. “Al, you don’t have a weapon. You stay here. Get those security guards some help,” I instructed.

  “But…”

  I looked at him seriously as Nico and Officer Cruz barreled towards the door. “This is no time to argue. I need you to help the security guards. Without a weapon, you could become a liability out there.”

  Al nodded. “Yeah, go, go. I wasn’t going to argue, Drunk. I got these guys. You go help Artie!”

  I patted Al on the shoulder and took off after Nico and Officer Cruz.

  Outside, Ozzy led the way, with Colin hot on his heels and Artie slowing Bruce’s escape. Nico and Officer Cruz both fired at Bruce. One of their bullets struck him in the back of the leg, and he fell to the ground, pulling Artie down with him as he went. I caught up with the women just as Ozzy and Colin were climbing the stairs and four police cruisers tore into the parking lot on the other side of the fence and several hundred yards away from where the plane stood.

  Nico and Officer Cruz both fired at the two on the stairs. Ozzy stopped and fired one shot back and then promptly realized he was out of ammo. Even Colin seemed out of ammunition, and with us shooting at them, they didn’t have the ability to reload. They struggled with each other for a moment on the stairs over who was going up first.

  Officer Cruz took the opportunity to fire off another shot. That one sent Colin reeling backwards as Ozzy disappeared inside the plane.

  “I’ll get Ozzy,” I hollered as I sprinted past her towards the airplane. “Make sure Artie’s okay, and get cuffs on those two.” By the time I got to the stairs, Colin was midway down with a bullet to the chest. I climbed over him and went after Ozzy with Nico hot on my heels.

  52

  At the top of the stairs, I poked my head inside and breathed a sigh of relief to discover the cabin to be empty. I was sure that was Lola’s doing. She’d been able to manage that, and help avert a hostage situation. When I was sure the coast was clear, I slid carefully into the cabin.r />
  “Where is he?” Nico hissed in my ear as she caught up to me.

  I shook my head and held a finger to my lips. I pointed towards her and then the cockpit, and then I pointed to myself and towards the back of the plane. I’d search the back. She could check all the nooks and crannies and the cockpit at the front of the plane.

  She nodded and went left while I went right. I walked slowly with my gun drawn and my heart in my throat. Ozzy could be at the back of the plane, or he could be hiding in any seat. I was thorough as I moved from seat to seat. And then I heard a noise towards the back of the plane. I had him!

  I rushed towards the back of the plane, and with my back against a bulkhead compartment, I raised my gun. Before I knew what was happening, the compartment burst open. Ozzy’s feet came out first, knocking me across the narrow hallway and into the lavatory. He had a fire extinguisher in hand as he jumped out of the small space, and as I came out of the lavatory, he swung at me with it. I bobbed left and it narrowly missed my head, instead hitting the door frame with a loud smacking noise. I heard him curse and then rush towards the flight attendant station at the end of the short hallway.

  “Give up, Ozzy,” I hollered at him. “The cops are here. You’re done, man.”

  “No way, Drunk. You ruined everything for me!” he hollered back at me like a petulant child.

  I stood in the doorway of the lavatory. “Give yourself up now and you’ll walk away from this. Keep going and you’ll wind up getting sent home to your dad in a body bag.”

  “Fuck you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “No, fuck you, Ozzy. You fucking ruined my vacation, man.”

  “Yeah, well, you ruined my life.”

  I rubbed a hand against my forehead and then gave a glance over my shoulder. Nico was now standing in the center of the aisle, motioning for me to go after him. I sighed. I didn’t want to have to shoot Ozzy. As much as he was a pain in my ass, he was a kid. I was over it all, but I nodded. I held the gun up again, and with my back pressed against the bulkhead compartment, I eased back the last few feet towards his hiding spot. When I stepped into the stewardess station, a serving cart came flying at me. It shoved me backwards into something hard. I winced as the cart handle dug into my stomach and the hard thing jabbed me in the bullet wound I still had in my butt.

  “Fuck!” I growled through clenched teeth, even though I was thankful the handle was high enough not to destroy my ability to bear children someday.

  I lifted my arm to shoot Ozzy, and that was when he rushed me with the fire extinguisher. He swung it at me again. This time it struck my arm, knocking the gun out of my hand. I heard it clatter to the floor. My hand throbbed almost immediately, but before I could dwell on it, I heard a gunshot ring out inside the airplane. I looked over to see Ozzy looking down at his leg, his eyes wide. Blood poured out of his thigh.

  “You bitch! You shot me!” Ozzy sounded surprised.

  “Damn straight I shot you.” Nico strutted up to him and shoved her hand into his pocket. Still wide-eyed, Ozzy looked at her as if she’d reached into his pants to grab his junk. She pulled out the baggie of cold storage keys and tossed them to me. “Hang on to these for me, will ya?”

  I heard a commotion coming from the other end of the plane, and before I could even get to my feet, Officer Cruz was upon us. She pushed Nico out of the way and looked back at me. “Drunk, you okay?”

  I nodded. “Just a crushed hand. I’ll be fine.” I lifted my chin towards Ozzy, who looked like he might pass out at any second. “You better get him some medical attention, though.”

  She holstered her gun and hooked an arm under Ozzy’s armpit. Nico took the other side, and together they managed to pull him forward. Ozzy’s eyes flickered closed for a moment, like he was having trouble not passing out at the sight of his own blood. “Stay with me, kid,” said Officer Cruz.

  Officer Cruz and Nico managed to get Ozzy to the back exit, where another police officer was waiting to assist. Once they’d gotten Ozzy’s hands cuffed, Officer Cruz looked back at me and shot me a wink. “Thanks, Drunk. I owe you one.”

  “Yeah, you do, Officer Cruz,” I said with a chuckle.

  “Enough with the Officer Cruz. I think you’ve earned the right to call me Francesca.”

  “Have I?” I said with surprise. “How about Frankie?”

  She pointed at me. “Don’t push your luck.”

  I held up both hands. “I know when to say when. Hey, and good luck explaining this mess to Sergeant Gibson. Better you than me.”

  She gave me a little two-fingered salute and then shoved Ozzy ahead to the waiting police force on the tarmac, leaving Nico and me alone on the plane.

  I suddenly felt a little light-headed. My ass hurt like hell, and my hand throbbed from being smashed. I stumbled backwards into the hallway.

  Nico tried to catch me before I fell. “Drunk, you alright?”

  I braced myself against the doorjamb of the lavatory. “Yeah. I think so. That kid had more spunk in him than I gave him credit for,” I said, taking a heavy breath. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the cold storage keys. “Which one’s yours?”

  She pulled the key fob attached to the lanyard from my hand. “This one.” She hugged it to her chest. “Oh my God, my boss is going to be so thrilled. Thank you, Drunk. Thank you for all your help!”

  I let out a breath. I was starting to feel a little better. “Not a problem. I’ll have Big Eddie help me figure out who these other two keys belong to.”

  Nico smiled and gave a little nod towards the bathroom behind me. “Hey, by any chance, did you happen to see any airplane keys lying around in there?”

  I turned around, furrowing my brow. The only keys that were on my mind at the moment were the cold storage keys, so her question threw me for a second. When I turned to face her again, she had a sexy smile on her face. I couldn’t help but smile back. “Nope, no keys.”

  She ran a hand along the side of my face. “You know, a little birdie told me that you were federally licensed to go down my landing strip.”

  “A little birdie told you that?” I asked with a smirk.

  She nodded. “Yup.”

  “You didn’t happen to throat-punch that little birdie out of the sky, did you?” I said with a chuckle.

  She rolled her eyes.

  That was when I made my move. My good arm shot out and wrapped around her waist. I pulled her to me and laid a kiss on her. Her lips parted beneath the pressure of mine. When we’d parted, I breathlessly whispered in her ear. “So, uh, how about you and me join the mile-high club?”

  “We’re on the ground, Drunk,” she whispered back.

  “There aren’t any windows in the lavatory, and I have a vivid imagination. I won’t tell if you won’t.”

  She pressed me backwards into the bathroom and slammed the door behind us.

  Maybe I didn’t officially join the mile-high club that day on the plane, but I sure as hell got close.

  53

  Saturday, February 24, 2018

  Big Eddie, Ralph the Weasel, Tony Soprano, Bob Hope, Elton John, and Gary the Gunslinger—a moniker I’d given him because I didn’t think it was fair that he was the only one without one—gathered along with Al and myself in the Seacoast Majestic’s clubhouse computer room the next afternoon.

  It had been almost an entire week since I’d first flown to Paradise Isle. I’d decided that meeting Nicolette Dominion had been both a blessing and a curse. She’d been a big pain in my ass in more than one way, and had nearly ruined my vacation. And yet she’d also forced me out of my comfort zone, and she’d reignited my love life. Even though we’d gone out with a bang in the airplane bathroom, having to say goodbye to her had been more difficult than I thought it would be.

  Having to say goodbye to Sergeant Gibson on the airport tarmac hadn’t been difficult, however. When he’d told me that I was no longer a person of interest in the murder of Jimmie Wallace, Al and I had cheered, and then we’d driven straight over
to the Paradise Isle Medical Center to check on Artie and get the hole in my ass sewn up properly.

  Now, with less than a week left of vacation to enjoy, I was looking forward to spending some quality time on the beach with a never-ending supply of cold drinks in my hand.

  “So what do you think about Paradise Isle by now?” Tony asked, clapping me on the back.

  I let out an extremely heavy sigh. “Are you kidding me? I haven’t even had a minute to relax since I’ve been here! Ask me a week from now, when I’m boarding the plane back to America!”

  “We’ll take good care of you,” promised Al. “Won’t we, fellas?”

  The guys all nodded.

  “Of course we will,” agreed Tony.

  Gary and Eddie were especially anxious to look after me. Because of my matchmaking prowess, they’d both managed to get lucky. Which was probably why Gary hadn’t shat bricks when he’d seen the condition of his Land Cruiser upon its return. Of course, Artie had promised to fix it good as new, and he’d even agreed to spring for four new tires, so that had made the pill a little bit easier for Gary to swallow.

  I pulled up a chair next to Big Eddie, who was seated behind one of the computers. “So, how’s progress coming on finding out who those other two cold storage keys belong to?”

  Eddie pointed at the flat-screen monitor. “Well, I was able to figure out who the flash drive belonged to. There was an IP address that I was able to trace back to its rightful owner. They’ll be happy. It’s worth a little over ten million.”

  “Wow,” I said. I still couldn’t believe people had that kind of money available to them on a simple little device. It literally blew my mind.

  “Yeah,” said Eddie. “But we’re running into a snag with this other one.” He held up the credit card sized pieces of metal.

  “What kind of snag?”

  “Well, it’s literally just numbers and letters. There’s absolutely no identifying information on it.”

  “None?”

  Eddie and Al shook their heads as a smile played around both of their lips.