“Hold your legs open,” I order.
She does as I demand, allowing me to stare at her beautiful, glistening pussy. She’s so wet, I could slide my cock in and fuck her hard. I don’t. I dart my tongue, flicking it across her slit.
“Don’t close your legs, or I’ll have to use my hands to do it.”
“You’re torturing me.”
“You love it as much as I do.”
Using my fingers, I spread her open and lick across her slick folds as I push three fingers inside of her. My thumb rubs her sensitive back entrance.
She wails in pleasure. I devour her fast, the way she likes it. My fingers push inside her through both entrances. She rocks into me, wildly, begging for more, to make it deeper. I love how uninhibited she is when we’re together.
By now, I know exactly what she likes. The way she rides my face and my hands is heavenly. I could do this forever and be the happiest man alive.
When she comes in my mouth, I take my fingers out of her pussy and kiss it, drink her all.
“I need you,” she says, with the raspy, well-fucked voice I love to hear.
She’s about to turn around on all fours when I stop her. “No, I need to see you.”
Her eyes widen, and I know what she’s going to say—it’s too intimate. The only time she let me go missionary was our first time, and I fucked it all up. She still hasn’t forgiven me.
She draws a breath and bites her lip and says, “Just a girl and a boy for the weekend.”
“Trust me,” I beg her, wishing with my whole soul that I had trusted her our first night together.
That I hadn’t fucked it up.
Us up.
The way I did when I met her. Our ending would be so different. Perhaps, there wouldn’t be one.
She lowers herself on the bed, I nudge her legs open with my knee. “You know, this girl and boy shouldn’t go bare, what if they’ve been with someone before?”
“I haven’t been with anyone since the day after Thanksgiving,” I tell her. “You?”
“Same,” she answers.
And this is where I ask myself why the fuck can’t we be together?
Instead of overthinking, I wrap my hand around the base of my length and place the tip against the entrance of her pussy. I push myself inside, inch by inch, easing into her, getting her used to me. She’s so tiny, I’m so big, but we always fit. As her heat greets me, pulling me deeper inside her, I shiver. It’s home—the only place bliss and heaven coexist for me.
I push her hips down and start to move. She closes her eyes prompting me to say, “Please, not today. Don’t close yourself up.”
She locks her gaze to mine and whispers, “Only for today.”
Three fucking words that have so much meaning…she’s telling me she’ll give me everything, and then she’ll take it away.
I take what she offers me, even if it’s only for the night. Maybe after tonight, my luck will hold for the duration of the weekend. As I drive myself deeper inside her, she matches my rhythm. We fuse, and this time, it’s not just melting, but becoming one soul.
When I look into her eyes, I see her heart hidden inside the dark place where she hides it. She’s scared to give it away. She’s burdened with layers of mistrust and fear. I try not to think about why she hides, or discuss the possibilities of something more. I try to keep myself from reaching into her and holding her heart the way I desperately want to.
I let it go and give myself over to the feeling of her, of the moment. I bend and capture her mouth. It’s too painful to see what I can’t have. We kiss rough, hard, and hopelessly. There’s no regret, but the feeling of loss, the knowledge that she’s that something I can’t ever fully have is nearly suffocating. She’s unattainable and the most beautiful thing in the entire universe.
I drive harder and deeper until she’s withering under me. We moan, and I gasp as her walls squeeze my shaft, locking down until I reach my own orgasm with an explosion so strong, I’m jetted right out of this world and I almost touch the brightest star in the universe.
Her.
Thirteen
Alex
Is there anything better than spending three days with a beautiful woman who has a bright mind and a soft heart?
Not really. I’m in paradise. Hannah is great with children. My nieces love her. My parents adore her. Em and Eileen, my sisters-in-law, exchanged phone numbers with her. Jeannette wasn’t even upset that Hannah was the maid of honor. Though, she went out of her way to tell me during the rehearsal dinner to stay away from June’s best friend.
“Can you stay for another week?” I ask.
We just finished making love for the third time. Tomorrow, she has to catch an early flight. One of the three planes that are taking her away from me. Her final destination is San Francisco, and this time, she plans on making the trip in one day.
“I have to work,” she says, caressing the scars on the left side of my ribs. “Does it hurt?”
“Not when you touch them,” I answer, taking her hand and kissing the tips of her fingers.
“What’s going to happen after tomorrow?” I ask, trying to distract her from the old wounds on my body.
There’s this weird thing she has for my scars. Not exactly an obsession but she likes to trace them. If I don’t stop her, she’s going to start kissing them and we’re going to end up fighting because I don’t want to open up about it. Or this will remind her that I’m asshole. If I’m not careful, one little thing will open Pandora’s box. It doesn’t take long for us to rip each other apart when we’re this vulnerable. I can’t have that. Not tonight.
“The guy stays, the girl leaves, and they never see each other again,” she says, with a saddened voice. “This is how the story ends, Alex. Don’t make it more difficult than it already is, please.”
Difficult? That word doesn’t begin to describe how painful acknowledging the end is at this moment. Fuck difficult—this is harder than learning to walk again after my accident. I wish there wasn’t a tomorrow, and we could stay in this moment forever. There’re so many things I want to tell her, but I feel like anything I say will shift the balance we acquired.
Instead of asking her to love me tonight, I kiss her hard. I need to feel her lips touching mine while I love her just as hard. I want us to remember tonight for days…for forever. There’s no foreplay, as I sink deep inside her, as agony mixed with longing almost overwhelms me. It’s pure, raw madness, and I don’t think I’ll ever recover.
I don’t want to recover from her.
Is this really lust?
Because it feels like so much more.
When I wake up, my bed is empty, and Hannah is nowhere to be found. There’s no goodbye note…she left.
This shouldn’t affect me. But I can’t stop thinking about her. Being in France reminds me of her. I had no idea she spoke French. Actually, she also speaks Spanish, German, and some Arabic. She’s brilliant, and I wish she had stayed with me.
I knew she’d leave.
But I hoped she’d change her mind.
We had a connection. Everything we experienced wasn’t one-sided. I felt her trembling under my body. Our gazes connected during the ceremony, and I swear hers offered a mirror of my own desire. Pissing her off is just as fun as making her laugh. If only I had been able to change her mind, show her I could be different. I wish she had listened to me.
We needed more time.
One more week.
A lifetime.
Still, she left.
The week I spend with my family drags. Usually, being the 5th wheel or the odd number is cool by me. Except, it seems as if I’m missing something by my side. Someone.
Hannah.
After we leave France, I accept my parents’ invitation to stay with them in Colorado, at least until my birthday. Clearly, I want to avoid San Francisco. Before I can try to talk to Hannah again, I need to strategize.
A few days after my birthday, Mom organizes a party at Jackson’
s Mountain house in Steamboat. Thankfully, she didn’t host a full-blown Spearman party. She kept it to just close family: my siblings, their significant others, and my parents. Well, and my nieces, Caroline and Marianne. Those precious girls are my favorite humans on the entire planet.
This is supposed to be a happy moment, but right here is when that feeling I had during my accident returns. The one where I know something is missing. A piece that prevents me from feeling fulfilled. Whole.
“You okay?” June asks.
“If today was your last day on earth, would you be happy with your life?”
June scrunches her nose. “You’re being morbid.”
As she rubs her belly, she answers. “I’m happy with my life and not near ready to call it quits. There’s a lifetime waiting for me with these three and Sterling.”
I nod. She has it. That external piece that completes her.
She shakes her head. “You’ve been weird since France. It’s as if you hate being around us.”
Rolling my eyes, I hug her. “Yeah, I hate you so much. It’s painful to be around you, which is why I stayed, even when I have work to do.”
June frowns, crosses her arms, and stares at me. “You’re just behaving oddly. Maybe you should move closer to us.”
It’s all good. I can visit them as often as I want. Maybe she’s right, though, I need to move on or just do something different.
“What are you doing with your apartment?” I ask, because that might be the answer to all my problems.
“I could lease it to you,” she jokes. “It has more room than your tiny studio.”
“It does, doesn’t it?” I ask rhetorically, but tell her what I want. “Just sell it to me.”
She studies me for a couple of seconds before she responds, “With one condition.”
“Be your kids’ godparent. I’m all in,” I respond, because actually, that’s what I’m hoping she’ll ask.
She laughs and shakes her head.
“Get in line. All of a sudden, everyone wants to be a godfather or a godmother,” June suggests. “Maybe I’ll have enough children to keep everyone happy.”
“Dude, you’re going to have three. I deserve at least one of them,” I press.
Suddenly, out of the blue, she says, “You can have my place, just take care of Hannah.”
“Your neighbor, right?”
She tilts her head and sighs. There’s nothing more infuriating than having your little sister look at you like you’re a stupid teenager who fucks up all the time.
“Don’t play dumb. I know,” she says.
Jeannette and June have the infamous twin connection. I don’t have that, but I can read both of them easily. Which is how I know she’s bluffing.
“Fine,” I say, lifting my hands as if I’m giving up. “Sorry for kissing her. It was just…”
“Look, I get it. She’s beautiful and smart. Even intriguing. She’s my best friend. You two…” She shakes her head.
There’s a long silence, or maybe it’s just a brief pause that feels eternal. There’s hesitation in her posture, and whatever she’s thinking affects Hannah and me. I shouldn’t care what she thinks about Hannah and me.
But I care, so I hold my breath until she says, “You two can’t happen.”
Four words, one blow. She sounds just like her best friend. June’s opinion matters. So far, she’s never steered me wrong. Why is she saying this?
“No, you can’t,” she repeats and sounds agitated.
“Hey, it was a kiss,” I say, shoving my hands inside my pockets. “It’s okay.”
“Liar, you’re interested,” she says, smiling. “You know what you need?”
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me,” I respond.
“You need a girlfriend,” she explains. “A nice woman who is nothing like the women you’ve been hooking up with or the ones you dated in the past.”
“Wow, very specific and detailed. I’ll add it to my Tinder profile,” I say, pulling out my phone. “Should I say, needs approval from my sister, too?”
She laughs. “You’re an idiot.”
“Give me Hannah’s phone number,” I say casually.
Because even though Hannah and I have hooked up from time to time, I don’t have her number. She’s always pushing me out of the door. More like kicking me out of her apartment before I can ask for a number.
“Are you listening to me?” Now June’s voice is aggravated.
“It’s just a fucking number,” I tell her. “You didn’t give me anything for my birthday. Not even the honor to be the godfather of your spawns. At least give me Hannah’s number.”
“What do you want it for?”
“Seriously, June,” I say, acting offended. “You tell me to take care of her, and yet, you don’t want to at least give me a way to communicate with her.”
“You two can’t stand each other. There’s not one day that she doesn’t complain about your visits—and you always avoid her. If things go wrong between the two of you, I’m going to have to choose you.”
“Fuck, Juniper!” I start pacing the hallway. “You’re already writing an entire novel out of one request,” I complain. “She’s cool, and I can use a friend.”
“You don’t have female friends,” she says, eyeing me suspiciously.
I’d be suspicious of me, too, because I seriously don’t have one female friend. Never cared to have one before, but maybe June needs to hear that I’m in the market for one.
“Exactly.” I give her my best somber face. “It’s time for me to grow up and do something different with my life.”
Bullshitting my sister is hard, but doable, if I play my cards just right. And I think I’m actually convincing her because she pulls out her phone.
I try to control the grin because I’m getting what I want.
Victory.
Pulling out my phone, I wait for her to either dictate it or text me Hannah’s number. When I see her face changing from playful to serious, I stand up straight. Her nostrils flare a bit. She bites her lower lip and types frantically.
Fuck, Hannah told her. Now I’m going to get my ass kicked by my sister for lying and maybe for sleeping with her best friend. This is going to be a huge fight. Maybe I should get a charter ready to escape her fury.
Tapping fast on my phone, I make a reservation. According to the confirmation, the jet should be ready in four hours. Plenty of time for June to kick my ass. Fuck, I should get my own jet. If my family plans on staying in Colorado, it’s actually a good move; I’m just two hours away.
June grunts, and when I turn to look at her, her face is a weird combination of worry and anger.
“Everything okay?” I play dumb.
She nods once, biting her lip. “I’m not sure,” she answers and walks away.
I follow her because her mind is working fast, and she’s about to do something crazy.
“Hey, talk to me,” she says, and as I’m about to open my mouth, I realize she’s on the phone. “When did this happen?”
As she listens, she begins putting on her winter gear. Wait, is she leaving? I debate between calling Sterling who’s somewhere in the house or following her. I choose the latter but text Sterling.
Spearman III: June’s taking a walk.
Ahern: She okay?
Spearman III: I think so, I’ll update you on our way back.
What has her all worked up?
Thankfully, I catch up with her pretty fast. From the looks of the direction she’s taking, we’re going to her place. She and Sterling own a cabin next to Jack’s. Maybe I should buy a vacation home around this neighborhood, too.
“Just like that, you’re taking a sabbatical?” she yells and then listens to whoever is on the other line. “No, when you put it that way, it makes sense. I don’t understand why you didn’t call me?”
She nods, shakes her head, and comes to a sudden stop. “I don’t want to sound petty, but you always choose them. Yeah, if Alex didn’t ask me f
or your number, you wouldn’t have told me. You knew he wants it? I’ll let him know that you’ll be out of town, so there’s no point. He might have a little puppy crush on you.”
What the fuck is she talking about?
“Well, this doesn’t sound like nothing!”
I feel for whoever is on the phone with her. June is pissed.
“Hannah, you’re human, of course it’s affecting you. She was your mother.”
I stop, and my heart speeds up. Did something happen to Sadie?
“You go on a search for all these wonderful things. Or at least try. You’re amazing.”
She sighs. “Fine, we all need to grow and all that new age, old world shit. Go and do what you need to...I wish I could remember what you told me that time.”
Spearman III: We’re at your place :shrug emoji:
I text Sterling once we arrive at their house. Instead of waiting for her, I punch the code and open the door.
“No...I’m pretty sure you said something.” She begins walking again. “As long as you don’t attend to your wounds, you’ll never heal.”
She pauses briefly to listen to the other side of the line and then she says, “I’m here for you, okay?”
“No, you’re doing the right thing. It’s messing up your life, and you don’t want to lose what you’ve built. Everything and everyone will be here when you’re ready to come back. We all love you, Hannah.”
My blood freezes, and it’s not falling flakes nor hypothermia. It’s warm and nice inside the house.
“What happened?” I ask once she hangs up.
“Why did you follow me?”
Sterling rushes through the door. “Are you okay, babe?”
June glares at me. “Yeah, I was on the phone with Hannah. I have to send her some stuff, and I’m short on time.”
“What happened?” I ask, with a demanding tone that grants me a glare.
“Her mother died,” she answers.
“But what happened to her mother? How did she die?” I press for more details.
Almost Perfect: A Frenemies to Lovers Romance Page 7