“Why do you care?” she responds and turns to Sterling. “Long story short, she went in for surgery, and there were complications. She had the audacity to put Hannah as her next of kin.”
“Why not her father?”
“They’ve been divorced since she was super young,” June answers exasperated, and I sigh with relief.
“So, her mother died,” I confirm.
She looks at me, and I swear she might just kill me right now. “That’s what I just said. To spell it out for you, the bitch who brought Hannah into this world died, and she screwed with her even after her death. Hannah is in a bad place, and I need to send her some stuff before she leaves to go who knows where.”
I nod, understanding clearly. Hannah needs a care package. I put my gear back on and head for the door.
“Alex?”
“Yeah?”
“What are you doing?”
“None of your business,” I answer.
“You’re not what she needs.” My lovely sister slaps me, without even using her hand.
My nostrils flare as she walks to where I stand and smiles. “I get it, she’s special. But, ultimately, you don’t know her. Neither one of you are in a good place. She doesn’t need a playboy who has trouble committing to...one thing.”
“June, you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Of course, I know. You’re a serial monogamist, but you never fully committed to any of the women you’ve dated. I know because I was just like that. You keep all the women you’re with close enough that they don’t complain, but you don’t let yourself fall in love with them. Make a real friend, then fall in love with her. Better yet, figure out what you really want from a relationship, Alex. Afterward, look for someone but not Hannah,” she insists.
Fourteen
Alex
God help me, my sister’s words play inside my head during the flight to San Francisco. Nothing I do is good enough for anyone. I always give my best to everything I do. What’s there to figure out?
I commit. Samantha and I signed a partnership contract. We lived together for a couple of years. She left me, not the other way around.
That’s committing, right?
The entire way to San Francisco, I keep playing June’s words. It’s public knowledge that my little sister doesn’t respect me and thinks too little of me. Is that why I don’t deserve her friend?
June swears my life will fall apart if she’s not holding everything together for me. I could manage my career and my life if I wanted to. I can hire another publicist and another manager. Maybe we’re too codependent on each other. She needs to boss people around; I let her, because, why not?
This might be a step in the right direction. She doesn’t have to look at me as the fucked-up guy who can’t keep his career straight. Yeah, maybe I’m not that responsible when it comes to my professional life and I’ve never put boundaries between us when it comes to my personal one.
She wants change, that’s where I’m starting. Our professional relationship is over. I don’t need her to survive, only for her to be my sister. A supportive sister for that matter.
Once I land, I focus on my days with Hannah. It doesn’t take me long to buy a basket and fill it with what I think might cheer her up or that’ll remind her that she’s not alone.
When I arrive at her apartment, a guy as tall as me with silver eyes opens the door.
“Yeah?” he says. “Can I help you?”
Studying him closer, I realize he’s the same guy from the charity dinner. One of her bandmates and best friends. No, she mentioned they’re her family. This is why June was pissed. Hannah called her old band and not my sister.
I’m not upset because I have no right. But this is who I want to be for Hannah. I want to be the first call she makes when she needs someone by her side: not the guy who happened to eavesdrop on a conversation and is now trying to reach her.
“I’m looking for Hannah,” I reply, glaring at him the moment he pulls the door closed, so I can’t see what’s inside—maybe he’s trying to keep Draco inside.
He glances at the basket and rolls his eyes. “She’s not here.”
“When are you expecting her?”
“She’s out of the country. We don’t know when she’ll come back,” he explains. “I just came to pick up the demon spawn.”
I can’t help but snort because she was here a few hours ago. She might be fast, but not this fast. Plus, I can feel her inside. I sense when she’s around.
“Are you taking Draco to her sister’s?”
He shakes his head. “The guys and I are taking turns while she’s away.”
Jack and Emmeline have two cats. Sushi and Ramen are like my nephews. Ever since they got together, they’ve been asking Jason and I to cat sit for them. It’s hard on the furkids to be moving away from their house. It’s the least I can do for Hannah.
I tilt my head toward June’s apartment and pull out her spare keys. “I’m moving next door. It’d be easier on Draco if he stays at home. I could care for him.”
The guy looks at me as if I had just grown a third arm. He exhales and says, “Give me a second.”
Without another word, he goes back inside the apartment. It takes a few minutes for him to come out, and he’s not alone. Another guy follows behind him and I have the feeling that the entire band is inside—Hannah included.
“Ethan,” the new guy introduces himself, extending his hand. “This is Tucker. I heard you’re offering to take care of her baby.”
Tucker tilts his head toward the basket. “Told you,” he says.
Ethan studies it and smiles.
“I get it. He almost got it right,” he tells Tucker, who nods. “He just missed the flowers.”
Flowers? I have to ask Hannah about that later.
“So close,” Tucker says and chuckles. “He might take better care of the cat. She’s going to be away for a year, if not more.”
“More reason to keep him at home, don’t you think?” I ask, hoping they’ll let me do this one thing for her.
Ethan hands me his phone. “Add your number to my contacts. I’ll send you her keys and instructions by tomorrow. Make sure that you keep him company at night. He doesn’t like to be lonely.”
“Can I have her email address?”
They look at each other before Ethan, who seems to be the spokesperson, answers, “I’ll discuss it with her.”
I smirk, how he says it confirms my hunch. “Thank you,” I say, stepping closer to the door and knocking with my palm open. “Get better, I’ll be here waiting for you. Call if you need me.”
What the fuck does that mean exactly? I don’t know. I just feel like she needs to know it. I’ll be here for her.
Fifteen
Hannah
Even before we’re born, we already have established relationships. A mother and a father. There are grandparents, siblings, aunts, and so many relatives. You can trace your roots up to the beginning of humankind.
Some say blood is powerful. It marks who you become. No matter what happens, the moment we’re out of the womb, those relationships are ingrained by our DNA.
Beware, having parents isn’t the same as being loved by them. Not all parents love their children unconditionally. Not every child who comes into this world is wanted, but most are loved by at least one of their parents. In my case, I was only loved by my dad.
Many think that having children is part of the circle of life. Some mothers bond with their children even before they’re created. While pregnant, some mothers are thinking about having the next Nobel Prize winner in medicine. The next hall of famer in…choose your favorite sport. Others just want their children to arrive healthy and be happy.
My mother had me to save her marriage, which was about to end. Dad married her when he found out she was expecting my sister. To stop him from leaving her, she had a second baby. Me. I failed, though. They separated in spite of me.
According to my mother, I had
only one job, and I fucked everything up, even before I could talk. She never let me forget it. Alicia told me as many times as she could that the only reason I was alive was to keep Dad with us.
I was a useless piece of shit.
My parents divorced when I was little. According to my mother, I didn’t fulfill my only purpose in life, and she made sure I didn’t forget it. Dad made up for all the shit I lived through when I had to be at my mother’s house.
I believe that there’s something good in everyone—except inside Alicia. She only cared about being the wife of a celebrity. When that didn’t work out, she tried to exploit my father and his fame.
As I grew older, my relationship with her went from rocky to hellish. She used my sister and me to exploit my father for years. When Tess left for college, I was the only one left. She appeared at my school, begging me to come back home, so Dad would start giving her child support. Other times, she tried to force me to go with her. At times, she’d sneak inside the school to take pictures of me chatting with guys.
She’d sell them to the paparazzi, making up stories that my father had to shut down. The restraining orders never stopped her. The biggest and worse part was when I started the band. She made up so many stories—that seedy magazines paid generously for—that it became hard to leave my house.
Alicia was the biggest reason I left Seattle. Also, why I avoided going back to visit my friends and family. It’s best if she doesn’t see me. Except, her lawyers were able to find me when she died.
I didn’t need to know about her. If she lived or died, I didn’t care anymore.
When I got the call, the guy said, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Hades died during surgery.”
My heart stopped. Sadie died?
“Where’s Dad?” I asked, because they should call Dad first, shouldn’t they? “Who are you again?”
“Lincoln Rochester, I’m your mother’s lawyer. Alicia Hades left you as the—”
“Wait, you’re calling me about Alicia, not Sadie?”
“Who is Sadie?”
“It doesn’t matter, thank you for the call, but I’m not interested.”
When I hung up, I had no idea how to react: laugh, cry, destroy something. I’m still in shock. Not because she’s no longer with us but because she named me her next of kin. I’m supposed to carry on with her last wishes.
The lawyer was pretty insistent. He called a couple more times and then he texted. Once I understood I couldn’t just turn off my phone, I called my guys. This is something I can’t do by myself. Dad doesn’t need to get involved with Alicia.
“Okay, we took care of the feline spawn,” Tucker says, entering the apartment. Ethan is right behind him.
Ethan hands me a basket. “What’s happening with Golden Boy?”
I stare at the goodies. It has everything, a sweatshirt, a pair of unicorn socks, fidget toys...and lots of candy. I pull my legs into my chest and hug them, regretting for a few seconds that I hid from Alex.
A kiss. That’s all I need. If I could just bury myself in between his arms for one long minute.
Stopping myself from fantasizing, I grab the socks and the sweatshirt, and I put them on. It’s the closest to a hug, right?
We’re too different to even try anything else than what we already have. He comes from a different background. One where his mother still cares for him.
Most people build their lives around their successes and their mistakes. Me?
I built my foundation around my parents’ shitty upbringing. Like it or not, they’re part of who I am. This is a part of me only a few know.
“Stop brooding,” Rocco orders, approaching me to take a closer look at my basket. He snatches a bag and opens it. “He knows what we like. Kettle popcorn covered with chocolate. Thoughtful.”
“Put the bag down,” I command, not wanting to share Alex with them.
I left that guy in France, and I should never look back. The memories are only mine.
He tosses his head back and laughs. “Aww, she likes him.” Without waiting for a comeback, he turns to Zeke. “What did the lawyer say?”
“Nana can sign a power of attorney, and we can take care of her mother’s remains and her affairs.”
I sigh. Alicia had the last laugh. The last word. Her premeditating actions always hurt someone. Sadie, Dad, my oldest sister, or me. Maybe all of us. This last one is all for me. My mother always believed in the ‘an eye for an eye’ philosophy.
So, Alicia Hades named me the executor of her will. Her last wishes include creating a shrine for her remains, selling her house, and starting a foundation for first wives. What does that even mean?
It doesn’t matter, though. The house has two mortgages. Once we sell it, the money goes to the realtors and the banks holding the loans.
When she wrote that testament, she wanted to mess with my mind, and she did so in just a few words -- something she perfectioned throughout the years.
“Her bills?” Tucker asks, reminding me why I’m so thankful I have them.
Taking charge of my life is easy. I’ve done it for years. Handling Alicia’s affairs is...not for me. Honestly, if I could leave her to rot at the morgue, I would. But, legally, I can’t. The hospital can sue me because I also have to pay her medical bills. She didn’t have insurance. Her debtors can demand for me to pay for everything she left unpaid. Leaving unresolved tasks to your estranged child is beyond evil.
“Our lawyer is taking care of everything as we speak,” Zeke continues. “Legally, you won’t be liable to follow her crazy demands.”
“It’s okay if I don’t build a shrine for her?” I ask sarcastically.
Zeke shakes his head and laughs. “Last wishes are enforceable only when you’re expecting to receive an inheritance. We skip the crazy requests and just do what might get you in trouble. The woman could’ve bankrupted you. She left you the debt of a small third world country. The hospital bill is astronomical, too.”
“We can afford it. I’m not worried about the items we can solve with money. I worry about Nana.” Ethan stops him and looks at me. “Are you sure about the sabbatical?”
“I need to do it,” I remind him.
For two days, I’ve been trying to live my life, but it all came down to Alicia haunting me. I can’t concentrate at school. My TA has been teaching my classes because I’m not myself.
“Once I call Tess, Mom, and Dad, the hovering will begin. They will try to be there for me. To fix me, and I don’t want to deal with them yet.”
I can just hear them, come back home because she’s finally gone.
“These clusterfucks don’t just leave,” Rocco states. “Most people don’t understand. No one would get it unless they lived through child abuse. The scars you get while growing up, never close. They remain oozing misery, silently causing pain. Forever.”
The five of us look at each other and nod. This is why we’re together—a unit. We’re so different from those who had normal childhoods, a mom and a dad who didn’t starve, abuse, or leave them outside the house for the night because they weren’t worth it.
“Are you done with the instructions for Draco?” Ethan asks.
“This is a bad idea,” I complain and pull out my phone and start typing the instructions. “He’s going to want more. We all know more isn’t part of my repertoire.”
“The feline always wants more,” Rocco jokes.
I glare at him. “I meant Alex. He’s not a good match for a woman like me.”
Tucker shakes his head. “You’re too much for him. Look, Nana, I get it. This is pushing you back a few years, but you’re not that kid. You’re great. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”
I snort but don’t say anything. He’s insane.
Once I copy all the links of the products I use for Draco, I text them to Ethan.
“Can I share your email address with him?” he asks.
“No, if he needs anything, tell him to contact you, please.”
“Is Cabo ready?”
I question Tucker, who’s asking his grandparents to borrow the house—again.
He nods. “Are you okay?”
“She died,” I say, grabbing my pillow and hugging it. “Why don’t I feel better?”
There’s a time when I believed she’d change. I was young, maybe nine. Dad had a girlfriend. Sadie. It was so unlike him to bring someone home. He never introduced us to any of the women he slept with when we weren’t around.
We all knew Sadie was different. I liked her. Alicia’s first tactic to get rid of her was changing her attitude toward Dad and us children.
She pretended to be a mother. “We’re a family,” she repeated those words time and again when she saw Dad.
She was so pleasant to him, to us. Liar.
For a few months, she cared for me like a mother should care. Until she realized that nothing she did would bring Dad back. I had her for such a short time. The mom who cared for me. We were a happy family. Until we weren’t.
I became her punching bag along with my sister. Having Sadie helped some days, and others, it hurt me even more. My mother hated that we got along with her enemy.
Loving Sadie as a mother is easy and yet so freaking hard. The guilt of my mother followed me since I was young. Now, I’m so worn out that I want to stay away from everything that implies a relationship. My heart can’t take any more hits. Ever since I can remember, Mom punched it again and again. Then, Davis, my ex, pulverized it and burnt the little pieces.
“She did this just to remind me that if she couldn’t be happy, I don’t deserve to be happy either.”
The entire room goes silent for a few minutes. Tucker’s phone rings, he answers and leaves my apartment. Zeke sits next to me and gives me a side hug.
“Hypothetically,” he says, and we all stare at him. “What? I can use big words. Fuck isn’t my only favorite word.”
We all laugh.
“In any case, assholes and lady,” Zeke continues. “If one of your followers or magazine fans reach out because she’s grieving, what would you say?”
Almost Perfect: A Frenemies to Lovers Romance Page 8