Almost Perfect: A Frenemies to Lovers Romance

by Claudia Burgoa

  I know, it was almost perfect. If only we had kissed.

  “Well, we can fly to see her anytime,” I say, changing the subject.

  “I feel bad because I’ve only called my parents and haven’t seen them yet.”

  “Do you want to visit them?”

  She bites her lip and shakes her head. “I’m not ready. There’s the whole going back to the place where I swore I’d never go again.”

  “Whenever you’re ready, we can visit them. It’s a short two-hour flight,” I offer.

  “What about the kids?”

  I chuckle. “They’ll be taken care of, it’s a one-day trip. We don’t need to stay.”

  “Can I think about it?”

  I nod.

  During the flight, my sister and I are texting. More like she’s trying to satiate her curiosity.

  June: Are you coming back for your birthday?

  Alex: I’m not sure, June. But what’s the point, you guys already had your cake and pictures?

  June: Well, Jack said you might not come. Mom wanted to be proactive. Help me prove him wrong.

  These two are always fighting about who is wrong and who is right. Also, who is better.

  Alex: You two are too old to behave this way. Leave me out of it, okay?

  June: What’s going on between you and Hannah?

  Alex: Thank you for making this day magical, brother.

  June: I’m serious, Alexander.

  June: Stay away from her. It’s an order.

  There’re so many ways to answer this last text. Pissing her off is fun. However, my stand with Hannah would be jeopardized if I make a wrong move. Say the wrong thing. Anything can spook her, so I have to be careful. The answer to her question was, I am hoping to make you fall for me. But it’s not what she wants to hear.

  The one person who can fuck this and the rest of my life up is June.

  Alex: You told me to keep an eye on her.

  June: If you hurt her, I'll make the rest of your life miserable.

  Alex: So, just another day in the life of the Spearman family.

  June: She’s in a vulnerable place, and for the first time since I met her, she’s open to meeting a guy. Don’t fuck it up.

  “Your sister thinks there’s something going on between us,” Hannah says, staring at her phone. “Seriously, now that there’s nothing, she’s suspicious.”

  She laughs, I don’t join her.

  Instead, I ask, “Was there something between us?”

  “Are you playing dumb?”

  “I remember you saying, ‘it’s just sex, Alexander.’”

  “For starters, I don’t sound like a whiney boy,” she complains. “Second, she never caught us.”

  “How did we manage to keep that away from her?” I ask, puzzled, because my sister is too intuitive.

  Hannah shrugs and yawns. “I wouldn’t want her to kill you,” she says, winking at me. “You’re worth saving for the next time.”

  I’m mildly terrified by her comment. Sex with Hannah is incredible, don’t get me wrong. Also, sex with Hannah is an excuse for her to write me off. If I slip, she’ll push me back to her hate list. And it’ll be a hell of a fight to work my way onto her list of friends—again.

  Those big brown eyes study me, they’re waiting for me to make my move. Her strategy is turning me back into the guy she hates. God give me strength.

  “Fine, you want to make this a game, let’s do it. I won’t sleep with you unless it’s for the right reasons,” I state. “We’re going on dates—planned by me. More importantly, you’re not hiding from me.”

  I don’t wait for her to say a word; I put on my earbuds and ignore her for the rest of the flight.

  I unclip Bruno’s leash from his collar, and as I’m about to punch the code in to open Hannah’s apartment, she swings the door open.

  She’s holding a cupcake that has a lit candle on top of it.

  “Happy Birthday to you…” Her singing is like a siren’s call.

  I’ve heard her sing with her band but never live. Listening to her melodic voice is making my heart thunder inside my chest.

  “Make a wish,” she says.

  Sucked into the charm of her messy hair, bedroom eyes, and pouty mouth, I make a wish. For her to become my forever person. To share more of these little moments when she sings just for me. When I’m the only person she sees.

  This moment is everything I need for my birthday. Her, breathing light into my life. I wish we could stay like this. The two of us, sharing everything.

  “Blow out the candle,” she whispers.

  She smears frosting on top of my nose before giving me the cupcake. I try to catch up with her because all I need today is to have her in my arms. Before I do it, she gives me a big box.

  “It’s a little thing, but I thought you’d enjoy it.”

  When I open it, it’s a framed picture of me flying through the air. The caption reads Alex Spearman, Men's FIS Snowboard Slopestyle World Cup.

  “Where did you get this?”

  She shrugs. “I have my people.”

  “This is rad, you know?”

  “What do you want to do today?”

  You. All I need is you and my bed—or any surface.

  But I don’t say anything because the real wish wouldn’t come true.

  “What are you up to?” I respond with a question.

  Her eyes seem to blaze at me. Yep, we’re both hungry, and there’s a lot at stake that I won’t jeopardize.

  “Wine?” she asks.

  “It’s my birthday, not yours.”

  She chuckles. “Tahoe is only a few hours away. The season is still on.”

  My heart slows its beating because we wanted something more. Though fresh powder is the second best thing after Hannah in my arms.

  “Get ready, I think Steamboat might be a better idea.”

  For my birthday, we had an unspoken agreement. Hannah wasn’t trying to seduce me. I chilled while enjoying the slopes. She’s pretty good at keeping up with me. That was a week ago, though. The day after, she began a full-blown campaign to make my life miserable.

  Hannah doesn’t care much about clothing. She’s happy in comfortable clothes. Except for the past three dates, she’s been wearing skintight dresses and high heels.

  Last night, it took all my self-control not to touch her. She’s bringing her A game. Her attire when she’s at home isn’t any different. When I come back from my daily run to drop off Bruno, she’s doing ballet warmups.

  “Did you search for the word torture in the dictionary?” I ask Hannah, as I unhook the leash from Bruno’s collar.

  She turns to look at me with a triumphant smile. “Tor-ture. Noun. The action of making someone’s life a living hell or punishing that someone, for the pleasure of the person inflicting the pain.”

  “At least you know what you’re doing,” I say.

  When she turns around, my eyes bulge. My dick becomes granite.

  “Can you at least put some clothes on? That shirt barely covers your torso.”

  I lick my lips. I want to lick her flower tattoo as much as I’m dying to suck on her tits.

  “This is my house,” she announces. “The fact that you think you can come in and out at your leisure doesn’t change a thing. I can dress or undress because it’s my place.”

  Her challenging smirk pushes me to control myself. She’s my worst enemy.

  “You’re underestimating me,” I tell her. “I’ve won medals under worse conditions.”

  She shrugs. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

  “Yes, you do. I get it, you’re trying to show me I’m weak and haven’t changed. Do I want to tear your shirt, strip you bare, and push myself inside you?”

  After a couple of deep exhales, I march toward the door. “If the circumstances were different, yes, I would love to do that and much more. But I want something different.”

  “Different?” she asks, confused. “It’s sex, Alex.”<
br />
  “The next time we’re together, it’ll be because we recovered the magic we shared in Paris.” I keep a steady voice. My gaze doesn’t release hers. “A girl and a guy baring everything, including their souls. If I let the need win, I’ll never get you back. I had you that night, Hannah.”

  “You never had me,” she claims.

  “Let’s not lie to ourselves,” I say. “You’re pissed because I fucked up our first time. I learned from that mistake. There’s a slight possibility that you might let me back in again. I won’t fuck this up.”

  “You should give up while you’re ahead,” she advises.

  I fume. “No matter how many times I apologize, you won’t forgive me. I get it. The point is that I won’t jeopardize losing you. If this doesn’t work, at least I want to preserve our friendship.”

  She gives me a startled look. I could walk away, but instead, I wait for her next move. We stare at each other for several minutes. Neither one says a word.

  “It’d be easier if you just leave me alone,” she insists. “We know this won’t work.”

  I smirk. “Giving up so soon?”

  I like games.

  I like to play.

  Most of my life, I’ve excelled at everything because I find the right strategy to win and make things happen. Now, I realize things with Hannah have been just like that.

  We play, we both win and lose. This time, I want us to win. She made me want to give her the partner she deserves. All I want is her heart, to spend the rest of my life with her.

  She shakes her head. “You’re impossible.”

  “See you at six,” I announce. “My day is swamped with meetings, but once I’m done, it’s just the two of us.”

  “Where are we going?”

  I smirk. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

  Forty-Four

  Hannah

  I brace myself before I make the call. It’s been a long time since I talked to my maternal grandmother. My grandfather died when I was seventeen. Grandma called me. We had a pleasant conversation, but the conversation ended with, “Call your mother. Above all, she’s the one who gave you life.”

  I’ve avoided her for years. Now that Alicia is gone, I feel like we can reconnect. We should reconnect. Tess and I are all the family she has left. But when I dial her number, there’s an automated message saying the phone has been disconnected. I try a couple more times before I contact Tucker.

  Hannah: Can you check my grandmother’s phone? It’s been disconnected.

  Tuck: One of these days, my uncle is going to take away my credentials, and I won’t be able to access this kind of information.

  Hannah: Sorry, I just need to know where to reach her.

  It takes a couple of minutes for him to answer.

  Tuck: Where are you?

  Hannah: At home.

  My phone rings, Tuck’s name appears on the screen along with his picture.

  “Hey.”

  “I’m sorry, Nana,” he says, with such a soft voice, it almost breaks my heart. “She died a couple of years ago.”

  “No,” I sniff. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, sorry,” he says. “Do you need me?”

  I wipe the tears with the back of my hand. “No, that’s fine. I...can you find out where Alicia buried her?”

  “You got it, I’ll send you that later, I need to step into a meeting,” he says annoyed.

  “Everything okay?”

  “My parents are on my case. Apparently, I’m partying too much.”

  “You are partying a lot,” I agree, chuckling. “You just went to Cancun this weekend.”

  “It wasn’t great. You should’ve come with us.”

  “Alex and I…we’re working on my dating article,” I explain without going into detail. “Next time you guys want to party, come over to visit me.”

  “You don’t want us near Alex.” He laughs. “Rocco is having a hard time. I’m just keeping an eye on him.”

  “That doesn’t sound good. Please, behave, okay? I’ll try to call him later today to find out what’s happening. I might be able to help.”

  After hanging up with him, I call Sadie.

  “Hey, sweetie, how are you doing? I was just rereading your series on East-Bali. You need to tell me more about it,” she greets me, and I’m stunned by her voice.

  I’m not sure what to tell her because it sounds like she wants happy, cheerful Hannah. My heart is breaking, and I can’t be who she wants me to be. My grandmother died, and I didn’t get to say goodbye. Even when her daughter was terrible, she was kind to us. She cared for Tess and me when my mother didn’t want to look after us or would decide to take off because she couldn’t deal with us.

  “Hannah?”

  “Mhmm,” I say, not knowing where to start or even if I should tell her anything.

  “What’s happening?” Sadie asks.

  Everything?

  Alex, the dating nonsense, I can’t find a job…suddenly, I have too many thoughts inside my head, and I’m not even sure where I want to start. I thought this trip would help me be better in ways I haven’t been in a long time.

  Now that I’m back, I’m not sure how to apply what I learned. There’s also Alex. He changed so much and I…or maybe he didn’t change and I’ve just noticed he’s an incredible guy. I wrote him off because he hurt me during our first night together.

  I touch my lips because I can still feel it, our first kiss. It was unexpected, but everything a kiss should have. Tenderness, sweetness, drive, need… I trusted him and gave him so much, but he turned the fire into ice within seconds after we...

  “Thank you, this was great,” he said with a cold voice. His eyes vacant.

  I felt used, hurt, and empty. He destroyed the little humanity I had left. Tossed it away like it didn’t matter. Now he wants what we shared in France.

  France was make-believe. A fairy tale with a never again ending.

  “Hannah?”

  “I just wanted to see how you’re doing,” I say, trying to hide the pain in my voice.

  “Well, I’m just about to head out to the flower shop,” she says.

  I recall what Alex said last night, that we could visit them anytime you want. It’s a two-hour flight. Today, I wish I could just jump on a plane and spend the day with her, making flower bouquets, talking about everything and nothing.

  Spend time with her the way it used to be when I was nine. I want to turn back time for one day, to a time when things were less complicated, and I only had to worry about getting good grades.

  “I miss you, just wanted to say hi. Maybe I’ll call you later when…I have a few other calls to make. I still don’t know what I’m going to do the next semester.”

  “I’m always here for you, okay? Call me.”

  When the call ends, I cry even harder. I’m not sure what to do, and this time, I can’t blame my parents for fucking up my life. It’s all on me.

  I feel the need to call Tess, but she’s always busy with her kids, her job, and her husband. What do I have?

  Avoiding life for ten years—almost eleven--- has given me nothing. I lost my job. I don’t have kids—not that I want any right now. The only guy who seems interested in me might get tired and walk away once he reaches his goal. Alex never sticks to one thing.

  Suddenly, everything that I need to fix feels like a wall of bricks crumbling around me. My head spins. I need to shut everything down before I do something stupid. Maybe I should try therapy again. I went, dissected my life, discovered myself, but I don’t see how I can apply what I want to my future.

  My future… Alex? He’s so patient, and wouldn’t it be amazing to have him in my life permanently?

  Hannah: No games?

  I pace around the apartment, looking at my phone. He’s not responding.

  Alex: …

  My hand clenches the phone. Is he kidding me? What does three dots mean?

  Alex: …

  “What the fuck, Alex?” I grunt when he
does it again.

  Hannah: I need an answer.

  Alex: Are you okay?

  “Of course, I’m not okay.” Bruno and Draco walk over to where I stand and stare at me.

  “I’m not losing my shit,” I defend myself. “You two wouldn’t understand.”

  I shake my head and stare at the phone. Why am I texting him? Because I want that girl and that guy to have a real chance.

  Hannah: No. I just realized I’m stuck. I left, and when I came back, everything changed.

  Alex: What happened?

  Hannah: I can’t connect with people. My parents are far away, and I don’t think I’ll ever get them back. When we visited June…she’s gone.

  Alex: Both of them are only two hours away. You say the word and I’ll fly you to your family or to June.

  Hannah: That’s not the point. June’s going to make friends with other moms and then there’s my family. We…

  Alex: You’re one of June’s favorite people. She chose you over Jeannette to be her maid of honor. That’s huge. You’re like a sister to her—family.

  Hannah: I can’t connect with Sadie. I called her, and I froze.

  Alex: What happened?

  Hannah: I wanted to talk with her the way we used to when I was younger. We’d be in the greenhouse talking about the guys I liked, or the subjects I hated at school. She knew everything about me and now…also, my grandmother died.

  The door of my apartment swings wide open, and Alex is right there, looking at me with a worried face.

  “I’m sorry about your grandma,” he says, shutting the door and reaching me. “What can I do?”

  I toss my arms around his neck and let him hug me tightly. When he hugs me back, I feel the tension dissolve, melting as he embraces me. This is what I needed all along, his arms. I close my eyes, stand a little closer, and take him all.

  “Fuck, I missed you, unicorn,” he whispers, almost swallowing me with his steel-like arms. “What happened to your grandmother?”

  “She died a couple of years ago, and I didn’t get to say goodbye.” I cry, and between sobs, I tell him about her and my grandfather.

  “I tried to call Sadie, but I couldn’t tell her. It’s like I just can’t connect with anyone,” I repeat. “There’re so many thoughts chasing around my head. You and I…”