“Julian,” I growl-whined. “I wasn’t going to send this.”
“Yeah, I gathered.”
“Yeah,” I huffed. “And now I’ve gotta deal with it!”
“That was my plan,” he grinned.
I growled at him, scowling and frowning.
“I know you’re only making faces like that to try and hurt me, but you’re only hurting yourself, Darling.”
I returned to my blanket cocoon on the couch and bumped my head against my knees as if knee to forehead bonking would magically produce just the right words to say. I went with:
KF: I’m not going anywhere, Dominic.
DW: Promise?
KF: I promise.
KF: That doesn’t make things less complicated though.
DW: Talk to me.
KF: For starters: I’m not older than you.
It took him a full five minutes to text back. I spent the time watching my battery percentage increase. And tried not to mistake the feeling of increased battery life with hope.
DW: How is that possible?
If he thought I wasn’t going to be a jerk about this, he was wrong.
KF: I was born later.
And my phone rang. It was Dominic.
“Hey,” I answered, my voice low.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just…I don’t know what to say.”
“Tell me who you are.”
“You know who I am. There’s just some key details you aren’t aware of.”
He was quiet for a minute, but I could hear him breathing, sighing. “I really don’t want to sound like a hypocrite here, but I think maybe you’re the exception Kat. I don’t care that you’re younger than me.”
“So if I told you I was 12, you’d be cool with that?”
“Uhm, okay, no. That’d be weird. You’re not 12 are you?”
“No. But Dominic, what you feel for me lacks a realistic foundation.”
“But you said you loved me too.”
“I do,” I fought back tears, unsuccessfully. “And that’s not realistic either. And I don’t want to lose what we have, what we are.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means we need time. Lots of time.”
“How much is that exactly? A year? Ten?”
“How about graduation?”
“And then what?”
“And then we’ll arrange a meet up and see if…” my voice fell.
“You really think it’ll be that bad.”
“As much as I would love to be able to convince myself that all my fears are meritless, I can’t. I can’t do that to myself, and I’m not ready to lose you yet. I’m Sorry. No, I’m not. I’m not sorry at all. I just want more time.”
“I’ll prove you wrong, Kat.”
“I really want that to be true, Dominic, but I can’t believe it.”
“I love you, Kat.”
“Please. Please don’t say that.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you, too.”
Chapter 21
Dear Diary,
I’m a lovesick teenager. It’s disgusting. They should have support groups for this kind of crap. Hello, my name is Kat, unless it’s Katie, and I’m a teenager in love. The pain is excruciating, please make it stop. Are there pills for this? Why does heartache have to affect all the things? Mental and emotional, I get it, but why physical too? I’m freaking exhausted!
And what do I do with all my exhaustion? Take big naps? Eat more carbs? Nope I practice more. I practice until I’m so exhausted that I know I won’t be able to stay awake overthinking when I eventually crash into bed.
I’ve also started a new book series about fallen angels — it’s good, lots of action. I’ve also developed a new habit of crying when sad songs play. They both suck for the same reason — me.
It’s complicated.
Hopelessly hopeless,
-Me
・❀・❀・❀・
I decided to take Julian’s advice and just let Dominic go. It’d be a quick break at school, and a slow lingering one over text. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, considering we would both still be attending the same school, but I didn’t think the entire Universe would be plotting against me. We had five classes and lunch scheduled together. Again!
1st period, AP Psychology with Dr. Murphy. Dominic was in this class too. We both tend to prefer sitting in the middle of the classroom and he had gotten to class before me. When I saw him, I sort of pretended I didn’t and just took the closest available seat, near the door. Dr. Murphy asked if everyone who was seated next to someone they knew to raise their hand. There were only about four people who didn’t raise their hands, because this is high school. He told everybody to try and find a seat next to people they didn’t know, and introduce themselves.
Dominic took the opportunity to slide into the seat right behind me. “Hello,” he put his hand out. “Are you trying to avoid me?”
“Maybe a little.” I slipped my hand into his and gave it a squeeze.
“How’s Kimber?”
“Embarrassed. How’s Ryan?”
“Uhm… There’s a story there.”
There was no time to go into it then, so we didn’t. When the bell rang I grabbed my things, tossed out a “Talk to you later,” and left.
2nd period, AP Business Management, with Mrs. Whitney. I grabbed the very middle seat, Katlynn Reyes slid into the seat to my right, Ryan Mathers took the seat to my left and Dominic slid into the seat just behind me. “This is weird,” Dominic said.
“So weird,” Ryan agreed. About two minutes later Ryan slipped me a note:
Can we talk later? Y/N
“Something happen to your phone?” I asked as I circled Y and handed it back to him.
“I left it in my car at the party,” he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
We didn’t talk for the rest of class.
When the bell rang Ryan asked me what lunch I had. “First.”
He was oddly stiff, uncomfortable. “Cool. Me too. See you there?”
“Yeah, I can do that.”
Dominic had made a quick exit, but I caught up with him at our next shared class.
3rd period, Information Technology, Web Design, with Mr. Newman, but Everybody called it IT Tech, which makes about as much sense as PIN (Personal Identification Number) number, but whatever.
“How do we have all the same classes?” Dominic was clearly annoyed.
“One of us is cursed?” I suggested before changing the subject. “What’s up with Ryan?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “You guys getting back together or something?”
“You said there was a story. I’m just as surprised as you that he wants to talk.”
Dominic let out a low sigh and pulled me to a couple computers near the back. “This stays between us, got it?”
“Yeah.”
He looked around to make sure no one was in ear shot. “When Alexa left the party, she drove over to Ryan’s and crashed his car into his house. She broke her wrist, had some cuts and bruises. Tried to tell the cops that Ryan had been driving and he was somewhere in the house passed out. Her story started to fall apart when they couldn’t find him in the house. Plus, that whole neighborhood is covered with security cameras, so her story was never gonna stick. She turned 18 a month ago, and his parents are both attorneys, so she’s basically fucked. Pretty much nobody else in the school knows about any of this. I know, because I drove Ryan home, and Trey Wallace knows because he lives next door, and that’s it, and that’s the way everybody wants to keep it, so please don’t say anything to anyone else.”
I didn’t really know Trey, I didn’t have any classes with him, but I knew the name, knew he was on the team, Junior Varsity, I think. “I won’t tell anybody.”
“There’s more,” Dominic began fidgeting with the edge of the table. “The police said they wanted to talk to you about what happened at the party. I told them I didn’t h
ave your number, but I told them I could get it.”
There was just one great big huge problem with Dominic having my number, and that was that he already had it.
“I’ll just go over after school,” I suggested. It made sense, the Parkwood police station was practically across the street from the school.
Dominic looked confused. “Yeah, that works, I guess.”
4th period, AP English Literature, with Mrs. Wall, except, I wasn’t a student in this class, I was a TA. Not like Ryan was a TA though, there’d be no teaching class for me. Not that I’m complaining. Most of the people who were in the class last term were in it this term too, so roll was gonna be easy. Among the more noteworthy additions to the class, Aimee Millington, Kimber Emerson, hopefully things wouldn’t get weird there, and Alexa Greene, who was absent for reasons that only a very few people knew about, so I played dumb and waited for Mrs. Wall to tell me to mark her absent after she’d called her name three times, “Ah-LeX-Ah GrEEEEEEEN?”
Both Dominic and Annabelle had been eyeballing me from the moment I slid into the chair next to Mrs. Walls desk.
She took roll, and outlined the curriculum before she introduced me as the TA and asked me to introduce myself and say a few brief words.
I stood. “Hi! For those of you who don’t know me, around these parts, I go by Katie Franks, and I am not your friend. I’m your AP English Lit TA this term. I take roll, monitor citizenship, and keep track of things. So if you need to know when an assignment is due, need information about assignments or extra credit, need help setting up a study group, come and talk to me.”
Annabelle’s hand shot up in the air.
“Yes, Annabelle,” Mrs. Wall sounded tired.
“I object. This is a conflict of interest.”
Mrs. Wall just stared at her, her expression blank. “Over-ruled,” she rolled her R’s.
“But that’s not fair, she hates me.”
Mrs. Wall sighed.
“If I may?” I asked, and Mrs. Wall waved me on. “I wonder if you might have that backwards. I gather you don’t like me very much but I don’t feel any way about you. And as far as my responsibilities in this class, you’re all just names on a list.” I gestured to the whole class. “Depending on your actions, maybe you’ll end up on another list. I recommend it being a study group.”
Dominic leaned toward Annabelle and whispered something. Annabelle slumped back in her seat, folded her arms, clenched her jaw so hard it looked painful, and glared out the window.
I pushed an awkward smile and took my seat next to Mrs. Walls desk. It’d be nice if Annabelle had her schedule changed, but it seemed far more likely she’d stay put and look for an opportunity to shank me. Especially now that insulting me wouldn’t have to be witnessed my anyone else to have a negative impact on her grades. All I’d have to do is check a couple boxes, and write down her less than clever insults.
I spent the rest of the class contemplating the relative ease of me tanking Annabelle’s citizenship grade and possibly having her suspended, versus her ease of stabbing me while I walked through the classroom. By the end of the period I’d decided everything I needed to hand to her I’d hand to someone else and have them pass it on to her. But maybe that wasn’t a great idea either, because it was easy to imagine it wouldn’t take very many, ‘Dominic, will you hand this to Annabelle?’ statements, and him complying that she would lose her mind over how much I was talking to him. Damn. Looked like I was just going to have to take my chances with the shiv.
“TA?” Dominic asked after the bell rang. “I knew you were smart, but damn. I didn’t realize you were hella smart.”
“Uhm. Thanks?”
Kimber was lingering behind Dominic, her face wide-eyed and pursed lip smile embarrassment. I could tell she wanted to talk to me, no idea why she wasn’t.
“Kimber?” I leaned around Dominic.
Her face turned crimson. She stumbled backward as Dominic turned toward her. He reached out and grabbed her arm to keep her from falling. “Hey, Kimber, feeling better I hope?” he smiled.
The whole thing was so freaking wholesome. Oh yeah, falling out of love with him was going to be about as easy as not breathing ever again. But that wasn’t the goal, I remembered. I didn’t have to do the impossible, I just had to let him go, which was only next to impossible.
Kimber slapped her hands over her face. “Omigawd, I’m so embarrassed.”
“No need,” Dominic reassured. “I was just going to see if your cuz wanted to walk to lunch with me, but if you two want to talk alone.”
“No. I was just. Ha ha. Same.” Kimber rambled nearly incoherent.
“Okay, cool. Let’s walk together then.”
Kimber looked at me with terrified eyes that asked ‘Why the fuck is Dominic Weedon talking to me!?’ while she sort of shook her head then nodded.
“Okay, cool.” I offered her my hand because I was a little worried she might trip over her own feet again, and she took it.
Dominic walked on the other side of her. “Your boyfriend seems pretty cool,” he broke the silence as we made our way to the lunchroom.
“Omigawd,” Kimber stopped walking in the middle of the hallway and covered her face with her hands. Bad idea in a high school hallway during a break.
“What the hell?” growled a guy with glasses who was only barely able to stop himself from running into Kimber, but couldn’t stop the person who bumped into him.
Dominic glared at him.
“You can’t stop walking in the middle of the hallway,” glasses guy stood his ground.
“I’m sorry,” Kimber said.
Dominic put his arm around her and kept her moving toward the lunchroom.
I don’t know why, but my eyes caught sight of Ryan first. He was in his usual spot, sitting on the table instead of at it, surrounded by other jocks.
“Hey,” Zack appeared out of nowhere. Actually, he appeared out of the guy who was standing 10 feet inside the lunchroom doors, but I hadn’t seen him because I was looking at Ryan.
Kimber gasped and held her breath. I didn’t know it was possible for a person to blush and have the blood drain from their face at the same time.
“Hi Zack,” I fist bumped his arm. “I didn’t see you there. You have first lunch now?”
“I’ve always had first lunch,” Zack looked confused.
“Oh,” I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m usually in the library.”
“Nerd,” Zack smirked.
“Watch it,” Dominic warned.
“Dude, that’s a compliment,” Zack huffed. “So Kimber, I was hoping you’d want to get lunch with me, unless you have other plans today?” he motioned toward Dominic, and his arm around Kimber. “Maybe tomorrow? Or Wednesday? Or I’m pretty much free any day.”
“Uhngh. I uhm, hunnngh,” Kimber choked on her words.
I answered on her behalf. “She’d love to have lunch with you Zack, but she’s having a hard time communicating right now due to a combination of embarrassment and anxiety. She’s also a bit of a trip and fall hazard,” I motioned to Dominic.
“Oh,” Zack nodded. “So I should wait?”
“Nope. Sorry, not sorry,” I said to Kimber right before I basically yanked her out of Dominic’s arm and pushed her toward Zack who caught her with an ‘oof’ and a smile.
I heard audible gasps from across the lunchroom. Kimber’s friends. But I didn’t have time for that right now and even if I did I wouldn’t have taken it. Ryan was watching us, waiting. He’d stood but wasn’t walking toward us as much as he was moving toward the side door that led outside.
I quickened my pace and caught up with him at the door. “Maybe we can talk somewhere it isn’t freezing?”
“Yeah,” Ryan slipped his hand into mine and pulled me outside into winter. It was cold as snow and snowing.
“Or not,” I grumbled.
At least I was wearing boots and a sweater. Ryan pulled me along the sidewalk, into a side door of the school an
d down a hallway I’d never been in.
“Where are we?” I asked still brushing snow off my sweater.
“By the band room,” Ryan informed. “Nobody’s over here right now, and I kind of wanted to talk alone.”
The screech of shoes at the end of he hallway made us both turn, it was Dominic. Alone wasn’t going to happen. “We’re fine, Dominic,” my voice echoed through the hall.
Dominic gave a nod, folded his arms and leaned against the wall.
“What’s going on with you two?” Ryan asked.
“Nothing,” I shrugged.
“Are you sure about that?”
“He’s being protective, not territorial.” I let out a low breath as I realized that statement made me kind of sad, and then I wanted to smack myself because that thought made me kind of nauseous. “What’d you want to talk about?”
“The party, and Alexa, and…” his jaw became tight and he looked like he was holding back tears.
“Dominic told me.”
Ryan took a breath. “Did he tell you the police want to talk to you?”
“Yeah. Have they talked to you?”
He nodded.
“Did you tell them she rapes you?”
Ryan shook his head as he lost the battle with his tears. Dominic didn’t keep to the end of the hallway, which was a good thing, because Ryan’s tears quickly turned to rage and he was aiming to take it out on the wall.
“No no no no no!” Dominic caught hold of him from behind as he cocked his arm back to swing at the wall. “That’s brick, Buddy. You don’t want to do that.” Dominic hauled him to the center of the hallway, his arms wrapped firmly around Ryan’s torso. Ryan fought it, but Dominic wasn’t letting go. And he knew just the right things to say, which was good because all I could manage to do was stand there, stunned, shocked, hurting for Ryan and feeling completely helpless. “Ryan, you’re okay now. You’re safe. You’re with friends, it’s gonna be okay.”
Kit Kat & Katie Did Page 25