All That Matters

by Sadie Rose

  As I got older, I would spend a weekend here and there with Dad and maybe a couple of weeks during summer break. But I haven't even seen my dad since my 15th birthday two years ago. He dropped by a few days before and it was clear we didn't really have much in common. He sure didn't approve of my tats or piercings. There was lots of talk about "my goals" and "plans for college" the whole visit was just one big fight. I did hear he got remarried. An invitation was dutifully sent. And ignored.

  But now Mom has had enough. Well, I guess I should say the courts have had enough. I seriously doubt Mom is too concerned with this latest little incident. However, since I'm no longer trustworthy enough to stay on my own the courts have ordered more parental involvement so I'm being shipped off to Dad's. In fucking Texas.

  I take a drag from my joint as I wait for one of Dad's guys to come to get me. It took surprisingly little time to get it all worked out. One would almost think Mom was in a hurry to be rid of the burden that is me. The phone call from Dad was awkward as fuck. He basically told me to pack whatever shit I needed and be ready when Frank got here. The plan is Frank is gonna rent a U-Haul, we will load my shit and my Harley because I told him and Mom there was no fucking way in hell, I was leaving it behind, into the U-Haul and drive from California to Texas. The phone call from Mom was even quicker.

  "Hey kid. Your dad is coming to get you. Try not to be an asshole ok" and she was gone again before I even had a chance to reply.

  I'd met Frank a couple times before. He's known Dad since before I was born. From what, I remember he's a big guy, wide shoulders and looks like a linebacker. He's nearly completely grey-headed with a cheesy Tom Selleck mustache. But he seems ok. This whole thing is just fucked up. What the hell am I gonna do in Texas?

  Frank gets here and we get everything loaded and hit the road. Frank doesn't bug me with a lot of conversation and I'm pretty much left alone with my thoughts. I've never met my stepsister or stepbrother, but I know a little about them. I know my stepsister was kidnapped when she was 8 and that she has PTSD now. I know that she has a bunch of rules and restrictions and whatever. I was basically told to stay as far from her as possible. Which suits me just fine. In fact, my plan is pretty much to stay as far away from all of them as possible. The way I see it I'll be 18 in ten months then no one can fucking stop me from leaving. I'm just gonna do my time and get out of there as fast as I can.

  We finally arrive. The drive up to the house is lined with trees, there are statues and fountains along the wide drive. The place screams of money, old money. We pull up to a house that rivals anything I've ever seen. The place is four storeys high. There is a huge front section with a wing coming off either side. The drive is circular with a giant water fountain the center. It's all kinda cliché but whatever. There is honestly too much to take in, so I don't even try. I remind myself that I just gotta make it to my 18th birthday then I'm outta here.

  Fifteen minutes later I'm sitting across my dad in his office and he seems genuinely happy that I'm here.

  "Look I know we aren't close, but we are family." this talk is already shaping up great. I think to myself. " I know u don't want to be here but it's either here or juvie. The thing is, this is your last year before you graduate and go off to college or get a job or whatever you have planned for your life. I know I haven't been around as much as I would have liked. I'm not going to make excuses; however, I want you to know that I'm really excited to have this time to get to know you better."

  "Ya sure" I respond because what the fuck am, I supposed to say to that?

  "I know we talked a little bit about this on the phone, but I just want to stress again how serious I am about what I expect from you while you are here. Especially concerning your stepsister, Ava. She has had some pretty serious emotional trauma in her life. She suffers from anxiety, panic attacks, and sensory issues. Her routine is crucial to her stability. We have already had one issue and we can't risk another one." He looks at me and says "there are rules here, son" I cringe hearing him call me son. He proceeds to give me a long list of things to do or not do. I'm only half listening. When he finishes, he asks if there's anything I want to know? Any questions?

  "Nope. don't go to Ava's room and leave her alone." I respond.

  "Dinner is at seven and you are expected to be there every night unless I've given permission otherwise. There will be no drugs, no drinking and no skipping school while you are here. And no fighting. No more pranks. Got it? Believe it or not, I'm really glad to have you here son"

  "Right, got it " I answer.

  Chapter 10

  Mason

  After the talk with Dad, he takes me up some stairs and shows me to my room.

  "I didn't really have much time to get a room ready for you. This room is right down the hall from Erica and the twins. Ava's and Anson's rooms are in the east wing of the house. You have your own bathroom and later, we can convert another room into a sitting room or game room or whatever for you. In the meantime, if there's anything you need or want just to let me know. I didn't really know what you had or what colors you like or anything like that."

  "It's cool. I'm not picky and I brought everything I need with me." I tell him.

  "Do u want me to show you around? It's easy to get lost in this place" he jokes.

  "No, I'm good" I tell him.

  He leaves and I look around the room. There's a king-sized bed with black and grey covers and pillows. The carpet and walls are grey and there are black dressers and cabinets along a few of the walls. Honestly, it's bigger than my room back home and since I don't plan on being here very long, I don't really care. I check out the bathroom and it's more than good enough for me. Mom may be rich, but I've never really given a fuck about this kind of thing, probably because I've always had it. As long as I'm not having to share a bathroom with the twins or worse, yet Erica I don't really care about colors and style and shit. My stuff was brought up but I'm not in the mood to unpack. Fuck it I'll do it late. I might as well have a look around.

  This place really is huge. Dad wasn't kidding about getting lost in here. I took a few turns went upstairs and downstairs and eventually I ended up in a library. I’m pretty into books and this place has plenty. I'm about to leave when a movement catches my eye. The first thing I notice about the girl is her hair. I've never seen hair quite like hers. It's so blond it's nearly white. It hangs down past her waist in masses of wild curls. Her eyes are wide and green. My eyes drop to her mouth and I swear I nearly groan out loud. She has the prettiest fucking mouth I've ever seen. Her lips are pink and plump. I've never been a big fan of kissing, but I swear I could happily spend the rest of my life kissing those lips. My eyes drop down to her tits, and holy fuck I'm dead. I wonder if her nipples are the same pink as her lips. She looks tiny, she can't be much over five feet, but I swear her legs seem to go on forever. She's wearing some little pink ballerina type skirt thing that barely covers her ass. My fingers practically itch to pull that skirt up and see what's hiding underneath. She has pink and white striped socks on that go over her knees and up her milky white thighs. Her yellow shirt has a pink glittery heart on the front. I'm trying not to stare at her, but I honestly can't drag my eyes away. She's easily the hottest girl I've ever seen.

  It takes me an embarrassingly long time before my brain works enough that I'm able to string thoughts into words to form a sentence. I know I need to say something before she leaves.

  "Hey, I'm Mason, you gotta be Ava" I finally get the fucking words out. Shit, I haven't been this fucking tongue-tied since my first real kiss when I was eleven. She doesn't answer only nods and I'm surprised she doesn't respond but then I remember she doesn't talk. All I can think is that I don't want her to leave. "You think you could show me back to my room? I think I may be lost. My dad warned me this could happen but of course, I didn't listen” I grin. Hoping that she sees I'm not a threat to her.

  Her lips tilt into a tiny smile but what the fuck ever, it feels like a victory to me. When a nod
follows the smile my heart stops beating altogether. I've just met this girl and I'm already 100 percent sure she's gonna be trouble for me.

  Do I care? Nope. Not even a little.

  Chapter 11

  Ava

  I should be scared at the sight of Mason but for some reason, I'm not. I saw him as soon he walked into the room; he didn't notice me right away. I've never felt like this before. I've met several of Anson's friends I couldn't really avoid running into them from time to time but oh my God none of them look like that! Mason is tall maybe not quite as tall as Anson but way taller than me, He has the blackest hair, it’s all wavy and messy like he's been running his hand through it. It keeps flopping back in his face and he keeps shoving it back. His eyes are dark blue. I mean seriously, I didn't even know guys looked like this in real life. My eyes drop to his lips and I can't seem to look anywhere else. I've never noticed a guy’s mouth before, but I can't stop staring at the little ring in his bottom lip. I've also never known a guy with a lip piercing.

  As we walk back to his room, he keeps the conversation going.

  "This place is massive. Do you still get lost here?" I shake my head at him. "No? Well good maybe there's hope for me then" he grins down at me. Dang, my heart just stopped. That smile though! "You're 14, right?" he asks. I nod. "Do you like music?" he asks. I nod again. He keeps up a steady stream of yes or no questions the whole way to his room. And pauses after each one so I can answer with a shake or a nod.

  That's a big deal. Most the time I feel like people are talking AT me instead of TO me. They talk so fast and ask all these questions but lots of times I don't get a chance to answer before they move on to the next question. But Mason doesn't do that. He waits after each question for me to answer like he's genuinely interested in what I think. When we get back to his room he says "You wanna listen to music for a while?" You can show me what you're into?" I hesitate, staring up at him. Ok, this is weird for me because ya, I hang out in Anson’s room sometimes and my mom's room now and then. But I've never been in anyone else's room. I really don't wanna leave though. I like Mason. I like how I feel when I'm with him. "You don't have to if you got things you need to do. We can do it another time. I just figured I had some time to kill before dinner and thought it'd be more fun than unpacking" he grins at me. I seriously love his smile. My eyes go right to that lip ring and my stomach does this weird fluttery thing. Finally, I nod ok and smile.

  "Awesome!" he gives me a big happy smile and leads me into his room. "I haven't set up any of my equipment, but we can listen on my phone. Cool?" I nod and we sit beside each other on the floor in front of his bed. "Do you have a phone?" No. "You know how to work YouTube though right?" He asks. Yes. "Great! you pick first." He clicks around on his phone and pulls up YouTube then hands me his phone. I put on the first song. He laughs. "I love this song! Seriously you like this?" I grin up at him and nod. "Ok my turn. Hmmmmmm. What song do I want?" he does this cute mouth twitch thing while he's thinking that makes me laugh. "Ok this song is great. I listen to this one when I'm in a good mood. I don't wanna play my bad mood songs for you just yet. Hate to scare you off" he winks at me laughing. Oh my God, I love his laugh. "Your turn." He hands the phone back to me. We sit there for an hour handing the phone back and forth putting in different songs. I roll my eyes and make gagging faces at the songs of his I don't like, and he teases me bumping my shoulder gently over some of my choices. " Oh God no! Not this song! it's such a GIRL song! Ok, I just lost all my respect for you. Sorry, I don't think we can be friends anymore" he teases. I'm holding my sides laughing. He smiles down at me. "you know what? I was really dreading moving here but maybe this won't be so bad after all" I smile back at him.

  Then I notice the time. It's five minutes until seven. I point to the time on his phone and roll my eyes at him. "Yeah dinner with the family. Yayyy" he says unenthusiastically. I laugh and get up and motion to him to follow me. As we walk down to the dining room, he keeps the conversation going like he had on the way to his room. and I kinda agree. Maybe this won't be so bad after all.

  Chapter 12

  Mason

  I was wrong. Dinner was awkward as fuck. First of all, when we walk in together people look at Ava and I like we have two heads and suddenly turned purple or something. Sort of confused and horrified at the same time. We are both laughing but it kinda dies quickly at the looks on everyone's face. Her mom's mouth literally drops open. Her eyes bug out of her head. Her brother shoots me a death glare like he just caught us making out instead of laughing. Even Erica and the twins look completely shocked at the sight of us. Really people? What the fuck? Doesn't anyone ever talk to this girl? What the fuck is going on here? My dad is looking at me like he's afraid I'm gonna throw Ava on the table and start fucking her over the salads. Awkward. Everyone is already sitting around the table so Ava slides in the chair next to Anson and I sit in the only other chair which just so happens to be next to her.

  After several long painful moments of silence her mom finally kinda does this weird cough-throat clearing thing and says a little too loudly

  "So, um Mason, I see you have met Ava. Uh ya, that's um. Good. Well. Ok then. Good." She sounds like what she wants to say is 'why the fuck are you talking to my daughter?' instead she says "I'm Kate. It's really nice to finally get to meet Andrew's oldest son." She finishes that awkward speech with an equally awkward smile. I notice that Ava is quiet and stiff beside me and so I try to maybe break the tension. Usually, I don't give a fuck about shit like that but strangely, I don't want Ava to feel weird that we were talking. So, I put on my best smile and say.

  "Oh, ya it's great to meet you too. This is a pretty impressive house. I got lost earlier and Ava was nice enough to rescue me. Good thing or I may never have found my way back" I laugh a little and her mom visibly relaxes.

  "This place is pretty big" she laughs. Dad jumps in now.

  "I did warn you, didn't I? I always tell Kate we should get maps drawn up we could hand out to visitors." He laughs and Kate joins in. Mission completed; they are acting more normal. Ok, well not normal but as normal as it gets for them, I guess. Erica and the twins are still staring between me and Ava like they have seen Jesus or something and Anson is shooting daggers at me but at least the room doesn't feel like it's about to erupt in flames at any second anymore.

  "This is Kate's son Anson. He's a senior too, I imagine you will have a lot of classes together and he should be able to show you around some" Anson really looks like that's exactly what he wants to do.

  "Ok thanks that's great" I say. Because I'm trying to be polite and shit. The conversation is awkward and slow but at least there is conversation. Something is up between Erica and Anson too. They shoot daggers at each other all through dinner but I kinda get this weird vibe from them too. Like there is something they are saying but not saying. I’ve been around long enough to recognize sexual tension when I feel it and it’s coming off these two pretty strong. That's interesting. Dad asks the twins about some birthday party they are invited to this weekend and Kate tells Erica she wants to take her shopping for school. The conversation goes back Anson and football and practices and shit like that. Dinner is wrapping up and Anson announces he's going over to some guy named Blake's house. As soon as he gets up to leave Ava gets up and follows him. Kate and Erica walk off talking about their shopping trip tomorrow and the twins run out of the room. I'm just getting up when Dad says he needs to talk to me. Mother fucking great.

  Chapter 13

  Ava

  I'm in the white room again. But this time it's not like I'm here. it's like I'm standing away off and looking at myself inside the room. I'm wearing a frilly white dress. My hair is down, and I have a headband on with a big white bow. Around my neck is a big white bib. I'm sitting on the rug and she is in front of me. She's holding a jar of baby food and a spoon in her hands. I don't want to do this. I'm, not a baby! I can feed myself! I picture myself back home riding my horse, helping my mom cook dinner. The memories
hurt too much and I push them away. My face is flushed and I'm embarrassed. I shift and feel the diaper she put on me. Tears come to my eyes and I'm filled with humiliation. I would rather she beat me than do this, but I know better than to complain. She makes a buzzing noise and flies the spoon around like an airplane.

  "Open up for mommy angel" I dutifully open my mouth. Even as hungry as I am, I can hardly swallow without gagging. "Good! Aren’t u a good baby!" she exclaims happily. Wave after wave of despair washes over me. I wish she would just kill me.

  I jerk awake and run into the bathroom. I empty my stomach into the toilet. I cry silently before getting up I don't look in the mirror as I walk by. I'm afraid of what I'll see. The sky is still dark on the other side of the windows. I slowly climb back into bed but I'm shaking too hard to fall back asleep. I'm afraid of what I'll dream if I fall back asleep. Finally, just as the sky starts getting light outside, I feel my eyes drift shut.

  I wake up to kitty nuzzling me. She's purring and her sharp teeth are gently biting my chin. I hear May humming softly. As I sit up, she says

  "Oh good! You're awake! I was just about to wake you up! You slept late today! Do you feel ok?" I nod and stretch. "Do you want me to bring you up some breakfast?" May asks with a smile. I shake my head no. I look at the clock by my bed. Ten o'clock. That is late for me. I take care of kitty and jump in the shower. When I get out, I spend longer than usual trying to decide what to wear. I don't want to admit that it's because of Mason. I didn't see him again after dinner. He was gone by the time I got back in there. It seemed weird to go to his room. I hoped maybe I'd pass him in the halls and maybe he would ask me to hang out again, but I didn't see him, so I just went up to my room.