Love and Whiskers
Page 68
“So, what can I do for you?” asked Lindsay, plonking herself down on her sofa and nodding for me to take a seat in the armchair opposite. The apartment was small and chic, in a boho kind of way. It looked like the kind of place an early-twenties history major might live. I was temporarily taken aback by her question—What was I doing here? Could I just come out and say I’m here to fuck? No, I would have to be a bit more subtle than that.
“I…I was coming home from a shift and I thought maybe we could hang out.” It sounded so needy, so desperate, but it was the truth. The G-rated truth. There was that chemistry between us again, as the air seemed to turn solid with tension.
“I’m actually really glad you came over.”
Her words took me by surprise. “Really?”
“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about you a lot since we met that night, and I…well, I know that my dad would go crazy if he thought you and I were messing around. But I really liked you.” Her tone was steady, but I could see her hands shaking. It felt like some kind of validation that she wanted this as much as I did. And God, she looked so good, the kind of sexy that only comes with being genuinely confident in the way you look, in the way you are. She was intoxicating, and I wanted her. She continued talking, her blue eyes meeting mine.
“…And I wanted something to happen. But I knew the only way we could manage that is if we did a bit of…sneaking around. Just until we figured out what we both wanted.” Her eyes were searching mine, clearly testing to see if that’s how I felt, too. I did.
“That sounds…pretty much what I was looking for, too.” I agreed, trying to keep my voice steady. I didn’t know if anything was going to happen tonight, but just the confirmation that the attraction wasn’t all in my head, that Lindsay wanted it too, was enough to take home with a smile on my face.
There was a beat between us, as both of us tried to figure out who was going to make the first move.
“Plus,” I added, trying to sound casual, “I’ve wanted to fuck you since I first laid eyes on you.”
And that was all it took. Grinning, Lindsay stood up and walked over to me. Her legs were so long and so lush, and all I wanted was to finally feel them in my hands.
She placed herself slowly in my lap, curling up so her face was inches from my own. “Me too,” she replied. And then my mouth was finally on hers.
It was the kind of kiss that you remember with a fuzz in your stomach for months after the fact. Her lips were soft and gentle, and I ran my hands up her back as I slowly parted her mouth with mine, caressing her tongue with my own. Brushing the hair back from her face, I pulled her close, desperate to finally feel all of her. It might have been my hyper-alert post-shift senses, but she smelled extra-good, too, like warm summer air. Leaning toward her neck, I kissed her just under the ear and inhaled deeply. Yes, that was exactly what she smelled like. As I moved up to gently kiss her ear, I heard her moan quietly, and the sound was a gorgeous, satisfying thing; I guessed she’d been thinking about this encounter for as long as I had. Our bodies were in perfect synchronicity as we made out, my hands brushing up her legs and across her thighs as she tugged at the edge of my shirt.
I slowly edged my hand up her leg, ears pricked to listen for any kind of reaction. Her breathing got more ragged as I edged closer to her pussy, and I could tell that the forbidden nature of the situation was getting to her too. I caressed just the edge of her smooth pussy lips, and her whole body jerked as if I had run an electric current through her. I pulled away to check in with her, and she nodded her approval. Gently finding my way to her slit, I pushed a finger inside, causing us both to let out a small, serious gasp.
She was already soaking wet, and as tight as I had dreamed when I’d thought about this moment over the last few weeks. Slowly moving my fingers in and out of her, I felt my erection grow beneath my jeans; I had spent so long imagining this moment, and here it was, better than I had fantasized, this gorgeous woman curled in my lap, mewling softly as I fingered her perfect pussy. It was all I could do not to pull down my jeans and settle her onto my cock immediately. But I wanted to savor this. I wanted to prove that what we were doing was worth it, worth the risk, worth her father’s wrath. As I felt her pussy begin to clench around my fingers, I knew that it would be.
Suddenly, she let out a cry, her whole body tensing in my arms as my fingers bought her to climax. I knew that weeks thinking about this, wondering if it could ever happen, had left us both wound up. It was taking all my self-control not to just bend her over the chair and fuck her senseless. But there would be plenty of time for that in the future; right now, I just wanted to savor every moment with her, in case we never got to do this again.
Removing my fingers from her, we continued to kiss as I slid my hand up, cupping her pussy and using my thumb to gently stimulate her clit. All I wanted was to bring her pleasure, to make her come again and again and again. I wanted to be the best fuck she’d ever had, in short. And there was one thing I wanted to do before we got down to business.
Sliding her on to the armchair, I deftly maneuvered myself so that I was in front of her, kneeling between her legs. Her eyes clouded with confusion for a moment, until I pushed up the hem of her dressing gown and peppered kisses from her knees up her thighs and toward her pussy. I heard her gasp, felt her body tense as my mouth came mere inches from her sex, my breath hot on her flesh. Then I pressed my mouth into her.
She was so sweet, as wet as I’d felt any woman. Using my tongue, I parted her lips and found her clit, lapping at it in slow, long licks that made her squirm underneath me. She gripped my hair as I moved my mouth onto her, letting out soft moans and groans as my tongue hungrily went to work on her pussy. It was like I had always imagined, being given a chance to pleasure this beautiful woman. It was as romantic as it was erotic, as sexy as it was sensual. I discreetly pulled off my jeans and started unbuttoning my shirt, suddenly determined to feel her flesh against mine. Her body bucked underneath me again, and I knew she wasn’t far from orgasm, but I wanted her to come with me inside her, and not before. I wanted to feel her around me.
Yanking a condom from the pocket of my discarded jeans, I climbed back on top of her, switching our places so she was perched on my lap again. I sheathed myself in the condom as she leaned in to kiss me, still trembling from her previous orgasm. Then she pulled up the hem of her gown, straddled me, and pushed herself down.
We both let out simultaneous groans as I entered her. Wrapping my arms around her back, I pushed myself slowly into her, savoring the feeling, the feeling I’d been craving since she’d first walked into that bar. Looking up, I stared into her eyes; they were lost in pleasure, staring at some orgasmic point in space I couldn’t even fathom.
She began to grind into me, her hand sliding down between her legs to give herself a little help. The sight was exquisite—this beautiful woman, riding me on her armchair while she played with herself. I leaned in and pulled at the hem of her dressing gown, revealing one of her small, perky breasts. Easing her nipple into my mouth, I gently nibbled, causing another one of the adorable little moans that I hoped I’d be hearing a lot more of over the next few weeks.
Pulling my head back, I watched her again, pushing up to meet her hips as we settled into a steady rhythm. I could feel myself tensing, feel my body melting into hers and becoming one. This was definitely fucking, but it was so intimate, so passionate, so far from what I’d known before. I began to pick up my pace, pushing into her harder, feeling her pussy stretch to accommodate my thick length. I knew I wasn’t going to last much longer, and, as I leaned forward to press my head into her shoulder, pulling her further onto me, I knew I didn’t want to last much longer, because as soon as this was over, we could do it again.
Her hand was even busier under her robe now, and I felt her pussy begin to clench again; I guessed my oral work had gotten her good and worked up, and now I was getting the benefits.
I didn’t have to look at her to know she’d come; her body conv
ulsed against me. She emitted an uncontrollable series of moans and groans as her pussy grasped at my cock. And that was all I needed to push me over the edge. My cock stiffened and my balls tingled for a moment before I reached my climax, both of us pushing into each other hard, as if we never wanted to let go.
By the time we fell apart, hair plastered to our foreheads, panting heavily, I knew that I wanted to be with this girl. That was a sexual connection the likes of which I’d never felt before, and it matched with the way our minds seemed to click into place like they were made for each other. As we rested against each other, our breaths still ragged, I intertwined my fingers with hers, pulling her close so that our bodies were wrapped around each other. This just felt right, as if we were built to go together. This would eventually take some explaining to the boss man, but whatever I had to give up for her, it would be worth it.
Eventually, she lifted her head from my chest and pressed her lips against mine, grinning that secret grin. Then she pulled back, looked at me, and spoke:
“Again?”
It was all the encouragement I needed.
***
The next few weeks passed by in a blur. Lindsay and I locked ourselves in her apartment, only leaving for work and classes, spending all our time with each other. Most of it was spent in bed, curled up in each other’s arms, or fucking like animals, enjoying that brilliant, humming sexual chemistry that just didn’t seem to want to go away. Sure the forbidden-fruit angle was a part of it, but I actually liked this girl. Hell, maybe I actually loved this girl. I’d never felt the kind of dizzying happiness I felt when I was around her, the kind of thing that left me with a big, dopey grin on my face every time she smiled at me in the mirror while she put her make-up on.
We did a pretty good job of covering it up, those first few weeks. I went to work and hung out with the pack as usual, and no one bothered to ask about my love life. We tended to keep the personal separate from our pack lives, anyway, so it was easy not to blurt out any mention of this incredible girl I was seeing, and that we’d fucked then ordered Chinese food to eat in front of old episodes of Frasier before I’d come out to be with them.
Despite the fact that things were going so well, there was a nagging worry at the back of my mind the whole time I was with Lindsay. Unlike her father, she wasn’t a shifter. She hadn’t inherited the gene. She knew everything about shifting, as her father had been open about it from the start, but she had no interest in becoming one herself. It was difficult knowing that there was this huge part of my life that I could never fully share with her, and I was frightened that one little bite or scratch would be all it would take for Lindsay to be scarred for good. I didn’t want to inflict this life on her, especially if she had already rejected being a part of it. I knew we would find a way to work around it, but it still worried me, the thought of how I would feel if I destroyed her life like that. I sometimes wonder now if it was that panic that led me to do what I did.
If I hadn’t thought about it at all, maybe I wouldn’t have ended up having it playing on my mind the night that it…happened. No matter how she feels about it now, that will never be something I can get out of my head. Maybe it wouldn’t have happened if I’d been better at controlling myself.
We were screwing in her kitchen. We’d intended to start clearing up plates, but she’d been standing there all flirty in her short shorts and pigtails, so I spun her around and fucked her over the counter, a short, sharp, hard thing that came with more than a few spanks on the ass. It was the kind of rough sex where your brain disengages, your mind completely taken over with the pursuit of orgasm. So when I heard her gasp “bite me,” I complied, leaning forward and sinking my teeth into her shoulder, hard. She gave a high-pitched moan, and we both came in an instant, our bodies tightening against each other.
And then we realized what had happened.
Lindsay turned around, her eyes wide. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, I didn’t—”
I interrupted her, terrified at the thought of what I’d just done. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s my fault.” I ran my hands through my hair. “Jesus, I knew this would happen. I knew I’d find some way to ruin your life.” My heart was pounding. Had I just completely screwed up the life of the woman I was falling in love with, just because I hadn’t been able to turn her down?
“Kellan, Kellan, it’s okay,” She placed a hand on my chest, trying to soothe me. “It’s so unlikely to pass the shifting on when you’re not in wolf form, so we’ll probably—”
“It’s not about the probablys!” I exploded, pushing her hand off me. “It’s about the fact that I can’t control myself around you, and this is just the first of many times that you’re going to wind up in danger around me!”
She stepped away from me, looking angry. “Look, if you’re going to treat me like some breakable little doll who can’t take care of herself, then you need to grow up and face the twenty-first century.”
“It’s not that I think you can’t take care of yourself, it’s that you don’t know how to take care of yourself around a werewolf like me!” I couldn’t believe I’d let things get this out of control. My mind was spinning. What would her father think? How could we be certain one way or the other whether she’d contracted the virus?
“I’ve been around shifters my entire life, Kellan, and you know it. Don’t think you’re special just because you’re the first shifter to fuck me.” She snapped back, turning away. “I’m fine. I’ll check it out tomorrow, and I guarantee you that nothing will come of this.”
“You can’t know that!”
“What if I don’t care?” Lindsay turned to face me square on, looking me straight in the eyes. “What if I’ve fallen for you and I want to share that part of your life? What about that?”
“Then you tell me that you’ve made that decision, instead of springing it on me while I’m fucking you!” I was still trying to process the fact that she’d said she’d fallen for me. So she felt the same way I did? And that was why she was doing this?
She stepped away from me, shaking her head. “Look, if you want to keep me and that part of your life separate, I understand, but you don’t need to protect me from it. I can make my own decisions, and I don’t need you there to supervise me.”
“Maybe you just shouldn’t be around shifters if you’re going to treat them like your own personal way into the pack!” I snapped back.
There was a pause, then Lindsay gestured to the door. “Out.”
“What?”
“Out. I need time to think. And I can’t do that around you right now.” She was serious. I backed away, gathering my clothes. We couldn’t be breaking up. Not when I’d just found the one woman who I seriously thought I might be in love with.
“When do I get to see you again?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
“I don’t know. I’ve got a bunch of thinking to do.”
Yanking on my clothes, I grabbed my keys and headed for the door. I had no idea how to process what had just gone down, but I didn’t like it, and I didn’t want it to stick. But she needed her space, and I had to give that to her. So I looked at her again, wanting to plead with her to let me stay. Her eyes refused to move from a spot on the counter.
I left. I didn’t know when I would come back. If ever.
***
The next few days passed by in a haze. And not the good kind, not the kind I’d shared with Lindsay for the past few weeks. No, the kind of haze where I couldn’t really take anything on, or focus on what the guys in the pack were saying to me. My heart hurt. I knew I had some serious feelings for this girl, but I had to go and blow it by trying to be her dad, not her boyfriend.
But then, I argued with myself, she had borderline tricked me into doing something she knew I wouldn’t normally do. And that felt unfair. But whatever our reasons for taking this break from each other, it hurt like hell. I found myself constantly wondering if she was thinking about me the same way. She was probably still fuming.<
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The hardest part was not having anyone to talk to. Obviously I couldn’t talk to the guys in the pack about it, because they couldn’t know it was her I’d been fucking all these weeks. Besides, most of them would never even dream of dating a non-shifter. And I couldn’t talk to my normal friends about it, because then I’d be giving away the fact that, ya know, I was a fucking werewolf. I was trapped with my feelings, unable to voice them to anyone. It was tough. It was really tough. I’d been through break-ups before, but this was unlike anything else. Usually I was the one walking away, not the one being asked to leave. And I had never felt this strongly about anyone before. It wasn’t just the sex I missed, but our conversations, our hours spent whiling away the time watching shitty sitcom reruns on her couch, gorging on takeaway food with her legs resting on my lap. Those were the parts I missed the most.
It was exactly three weeks to the day we last saw each other that it happened. On top of all my mopey heartbreak, I’d also been plagued with the worry that I’d turned her into a shifter. She was right, it was extremely rare to pass on the virus like that, and chances were that she was fine. But still, I kept on replaying the possibility in my mind. What would happen if she was a shifter now? Would she be angry at me? Would she hold it against me for the rest of my life? Would the pack discover it was my fault and throw me out? Would she wind up dating someone else in the pack? My mind was racing with the possibilities, and each one made me feel sicker than the last.
I was sitting in my apartment, a couple of beers deep, when I heard the door buzz. Assuming it was just the cleaners wanting to be let into the building, I heaved myself from my spot on the couch and went to the door. Pressing the button, I grunted into the microphone.
“Who is it?”
“Lindsay.” Her voice came as an actual, physical shock to me, the kind that knocks you sideways and leaves you a little breathless. Her voice sounded harsh, different, and I had no idea what she might have been there for.