Summer on the Italian Lakes

by Lucy Coleman

  ‘While my current novels do include sex scenes, those scenes do not drive the plot itself. It sounds very much like that’s the case with the story you’ve written. Essentially, we’re talking about relationships and how love changes people; sex is a natural part of that and it’s fine to stop at the bedroom door. Not all readers want to read the detail, while others like a little frisson to jump off the page and then words like ‘hot’ or ‘explicit’ would be a part of the marketing campaign.’

  Kris inclines her head. ‘I wonder how many women out there put down one of your books on their bedside table at night and then roll over, quite happily, into the arms of their partner?’

  Everyone laughs, including Arran, I’m pleased to note.

  ‘Can I have a quick show of hands if sex features anywhere at all in any of your stories.’

  Four hands rise in the air, two being lowered as quickly as they went up.

  Rick is quick to jump in. ‘As a reader, I think sex can really liven up a story and I don’t see anything wrong with that. As a writer it poses a dilemma about how far you go. The female characters in my story are all hard nosed, domineering types as I’ve just been through a nightmare of a divorce. It’s like getting my own back.’

  I see one of Arran’s eyebrows shoot up, but he says nothing and looking around I see a few uncomfortable glances being exchanged.

  ‘I’m a single woman still and how would a lady know about such things?’ Silvia gives a saucy wink. ‘I’m joking, of course. I write about the roaring twenties. The hair went up and the knickers came down.’

  That elicits a peal of laughter.

  ‘Do any of you read men’s magazines? I don’t mean the top shelf stuff, but the popular monthlies?’

  That draws a blank.

  ‘The reason I ask that is because Arran asked me a very moot question the other day. How do I manage my readers’ expectations when it comes to writing the sex scenes? The advent of Fifty Shades of Grey made some writers feel the pressure to add a touch of heat. I think that might be where you are coming from, Kris. As if something is missing, when that isn’t necessarily the case.

  ‘My advice is to first look at other novels in the same genre, so you can get a feel for what else someone choosing your book might also be reading. If sex is quite a dominant theme within other stories in your genre, then that is something to weigh up. But there are other considerations. Context is one. Unless you are writing full blown erotica, then a sex scene has to be relevant to the story and flow. If it doesn’t add something in a meaningful way, like bringing two people closer together, or being a source of tension going forward, then consider why you’re adding it. If in doubt, leave it out.

  ‘Obviously, I’m not talking about the crime or thriller genres here, where violence and horror usually require actions to be taken to the extreme. But there’s nothing worse than reading something that feels contrived. The other thing to remember is to keep it real. I mentioned the men’s magazines because I regularly read them to keep up to date with what’s current. The pressure is most definitely on for the guys to be well groomed, work out, dress well… and perform. Don’t feel your hero always has to rise to the occasion, if you get my drift.

  ‘In the same way that a heroine might not always be in the mood. If your characters frequently have sex and every occasion is a mind blowing experience, then consider how realistic it is and whether it’s in danger of becoming too predictable. Whatever you do, don’t divorce the emotion from the sexual gratification. Unless that’s the point of writing the scene.’

  Kris leans forward a little to speak. ‘Do you always get it right first time, Brie?’

  ‘Good question, Kris. And the answer is, unfortunately, no. A good editor is your best friend and saviour. When they do the first round of edits on your manuscript, known as the structural edits, any weaknesses in the storyline will be picked up. I’ve had sex scenes taken out and notes in the margin to say, “after a row like that they need to have make up sex”, so it varies.’

  I’m surprised when Arran joins in.

  ‘Brie is currently helping me out with the editing of a few sex scenes in my latest manuscript. I thought I’d done a pretty good job, but my editor threw up her hands in despair. Because of the harrowing nature of the story, which is set during the Second World War, the characters are separated for long periods of time. For the few scenes where they are together it has to have impact. Her instruction to me was to ramp up the emotional tension. So, I called in the expert.’

  He grins across at me.

  As our eyes meet my stomach does a little flip. It throws me, and I feel flustered for a moment. I turn away, grabbing some sheets of paper and passing them around.

  ‘Right, if we’re all happy to leave it there, it’s time for the last exercise. I want you to write down phrases you might use to convey a particularly emotional state. The categories are: anger, happiness, despair and optimism. As an example, you might say “he lashed out” when describing someone who is angry. But you could also say “his knuckles whitened as he grasped the chair tighter”. We’re going to explore ways of widening the vocabulary we use to give those phrases more impact. Let’s say twenty minutes for this exercise in case anyone wants to stretch their legs first and then we’ll reconvene for the final part of the session.’

  A few already have their heads down and are writing, but Rick disappears inside the villa. Arran walks over to me.

  ‘I’m going to get some more cold drinks for the table, want to give me a hand?’

  ‘Sure.’

  As we saunter along, side by side, I glance at him.

  ‘That acknowledgement wasn’t necessary, you know. You would have returned the favour if it was the other way around.’

  He grins back at me. ‘I think it’s a good lesson to demonstrate. No matter what stage we are at with our respective careers there’s always something to learn; some boundary to push to make our writing even better. We owe the reader that, at the very least.’

  He’s right and I wonder why I ever thought he was standoffish. It just goes to show the pitfalls of prejudging people. But then he is more relaxed with me today and his deep blue eyes reflect his lighter mood. The eye contact between us is easy and a little more compelling than it should be. I realise that it must be extremely difficult to let go of the worry over his financial situation, but he’s good at hiding it. And I’m glad that he appears to be enjoying himself this morning.

  We fill our arms with cans and bottles then head back out to the terrace. Suddenly the phone in my pocket pings. I put the drinks on the tray and retrieve it to see a string of texts from Mel. I switch it off, unable to hide a small smile creeping over my face.

  ‘Everything alright?’ Arran turns to ask in a low voice as he hands out drinks now everyone is back at the table.

  ‘Fine. I hope I managed to deliver this morning. How do you think it’s gone down?’ I whisper back at him.

  ‘Good. Interesting. I’ve enjoyed it and you’ve made me think about a few things. The sex isn’t gratuitous in my story, is it?’ I can see real self-doubt reflected in his eyes and that surprises me.

  ‘No, it wouldn’t have the same impact if it wasn’t in there. It’s merely a case of using the right words, in the right order – that’s all.’

  He begins laughing.

  ‘I use a similar phrase when I’m in teaching mode.’

  I hitch up one side of my mouth in a sympathetic half smile. I notice Kris, who has suddenly appeared at my side, is listening to our conversation as she waits to lean across and grab a drink.

  I think this is something the whole group might be interested in hearing, as I can see the others tuning in.

  ‘Arran and I are talking about the editing process with regard to his latest manuscript. The point of structural edits is to check for inconsistencies in the plot, timeline and characterisation. After that, line edits polish it so it’s the best it can be. I know the feeling when my editor pulls something a
part and I don’t immediately see her point. Once it’s re-worked the improvement is usually plain to see. It’s very important to realise that this is a natural part of the process and your editor is rooting for you.

  ‘Occasionally, though, I stand back and, if it’s merely a difference of opinion, if I feel strongly enough about a particular word, phrase, or scene, then I stand my ground. I’d say that 98 per cent of the time I go along with the suggestions put forward though, because I know they are valid improvements. As a writer you benefit from the expertise of a good editor, but you must be careful not to let your ego get in the way.’

  For the first time I see a frown on Kris’s face.

  ‘I’m dreading the editing stage and it’s imminent. What if there are a lot of changes to be made? How long does it take?’

  Everyone is now seated, and all eyes are on me.

  ‘That varies. If there’s a fundamental flaw in the plot, for instance, it can have quite an impact throughout the entire story. That’s tough and it happens. You simply work through the manuscript methodically. Usually it’s more localised and it’s just a case of re-wording if something doesn’t flow and it feels clunky, or awkward. Yvonne, is there anything you can add from your experiences? You’re on your second contract now so you’ve been through the process a few times.’

  She looks pleased I’ve called upon her to contribute.

  ‘It was a shock at first as I assumed the fact that they’d read my manuscript and then offered me a contract meant it was perfect,’ she exclaims. ‘I was very proud of what I’d written and floored when I saw the extent of the changes. But one’s writing develops over time and with experience; even I would pick holes in it if I were to read that original draft again. I’m learning all the time and using that to improve my writing going forward. The first time around what made it more difficult was that the timeline for my plot had become a little confused. When the structural edits raised that issue it took me the best part of a week to sort out the consequences. That was a huge lesson to learn. I haven’t made that particular mistake again since.’

  I’m not sure that has reassured Kris, but hearing about first hand experiences is invaluable to a new writer.

  ‘Line edits will address formatting issues, punctuation, grammar and typos. Missing words, too, can be a problem as your brain will often fill in the gap for you, so the eye doesn’t always pick it up. Especially when you become overly familiar with the text because you are constantly re-reading it.’

  Will joins in.

  ‘I have two self-published books and I can vouch for the benefits of working with an editor. I edited and proofed my first book myself. That was a big mistake and one of my first reviews actually listed some of the errors I’d missed. By then I was just about to launch my second book, so I delayed it. I commissioned an editor to work on both manuscripts and now I’m reasonably happy with the results. I do find it daunting though, now I’m about to start submitting to publishers. How perfect does my manuscript need to be?’

  I look across at Arran as this is a part of his next session.

  ‘We’ll be covering the editing process in more detail tomorrow morning and pitching on Thursday morning. The answer is that when you’re submitting, it needs to be as good as you can make it. Be honest with yourself and if you need to employ someone to go through it to give it a polish, then it might improve your chance of snaring that contract.

  ‘It’s a fiercely competitive market whether you are self-published or traditionally published. Having a publisher has advantages. Not least because their experience and expertise will go into choosing the title and the cover, aside from providing the editing services and some level of marketing support. That will vary according to the size of the publisher and the popularity of the book. However, a lot of authors who are doing it themselves are making a good living and enjoy having total control. Can I ask why you chose to self-publish in the beginning, Will?’

  He takes a moment to consider his answer.

  ‘This might sound a little naïve. I’d written eighty-five thousand words and I was rather pleased with myself. A friend read it and said it was a good story. I didn’t know any other writers and I Googled how to publish a book. I did look at a few publishers’ websites, but it scared me off, to be honest with you. I had no writing history, I wasn’t on Facebook or Twitter and still don’t have a website. I figured they’d be unlikely to take my submission seriously.’

  It’s an honest response and Arran gives him an affirming nod.

  ‘Fully understandable, Will. Thank you for sharing that with the group. Do you mind if I ask what your sales were like at the beginning? You don’t have to give numbers, just whether it met your expectations or not.’

  He bursts out laughing. ‘Well, I’m only on Amazon, right now. My mother and my sister-in-law each bought a copy on launch day. I did, too. After that I think it took about six months to sell the next five copies. I’ve sold a total of 115 copies to date and have three reviews on the first book and five on the second. They’re all five stars. Only one is written by a friend and it was an honest review.’

  There’s a lot of nodding going on and you can feel the support from the entire group. That’s good because it means no one has unrealistic expectations.

  ‘Actually, you’ve done well, Will, because without a strong author platform it’s very difficult for readers to even know your books are there. So, I’m impressed. But there are things you can do to get the word out and we will focus on that in Friday’s session,’ Arran confirms.

  We end up running over by half an hour, but everyone seems content. The workshops are tiring because it’s a lot to take in and naturally there’s going to be a wide range of interesting questions. But we’re heading out to see the town very shortly and I think we’ll all be glad of a change of scenery.

  18

  No Turning Back

  The minibus arrives and it’s only a short drive down the hill to the lovely lakeside town of Salò. As we drive through the heart of this charming hub of activity, it seems to be full of boutiques, wonderful restaurants and elegant bars packed with tourists. The driver pulls into a lay-by and Arran stands to address everyone.

  ‘Okay guys, please grab one of these packs before you alight. We’ll meet back at this spot at six o’clock. There’s a map in here of the suggested tourist trail.’ Arran holds up one of the small folders. ‘If you follow the route it will take in most of the main sights. Well worth a visit are the cathedral, the building housing the famous town clock, and the square, home of the winged lion of San Marco. If you get adventurous and take the ferry to explore one of the other towns around the lake, then my mobile number is in the folder. Let me know if you are going to be late back and I can book a taxi to collect you from this point.

  ‘If everyone is happy, I’ll say arrivederci and enjoy!’

  There is a chorus of ‘grazie’ and it’s interesting watching everyone split into twos as they all head off in the same direction.

  ‘Any surprises there, do you think?’ Arran asks, as I follow his gaze.

  ‘Not really. Silvia and Yvonne clicked immediately. Kris and Tom might look an odd couple, but humour is the key there. As for Rick and Will, well, I think the conversation might be a little one sided at times. Will is rather laid back, whereas Rick’s enthusiasm can be a little overwhelming at times.’

  ‘You nailed it. I’m not unhappy with the way the group have come together though. It’s not easy getting the right mix. Anyway, that just leaves us. I hope that isn’t too daunting a prospect for you.’

  I laugh. ‘I’m in your hands. I’ll be doing this four times over, so lead on. I guess we can take our time.’

  Arran steers us through some pretty little back streets which are mainly residential, but it isn’t long until we’re at the water’s edge. Surveying the curve around the lake and the wonderful, paved promenade abutting the shops and restaurants, it makes me catch my breath. Above us, the creamy stonework of the thr
ee storey buildings rise up in the shadow of the mountains beyond. Along the whole sweep of the lakeside walk, the wonderfully contrasting terracotta roofs, the pretty window shutters, and lines of colourful little row boats, are picturesque. I stop to take a few photos with my phone.

  ‘This is stunning, Arran. I see what you mean about the head of the lake being axe shaped. It’s vast, but on the other hand there’s a real sense of the personality of the town and the thriving community as we walk along. I thought it would be more touristy and I’m relieved that isn’t the case. I love the buzz.’

  I watch as two cyclists pass by and then glance at the many wonderful lanterns, which must be glorious at night to dispel the shadows. There are sail boats further out on the lake and I strain my eyes to look way into the distance.

  ‘Are you hungry?’

  I shake my head. ‘No, but I’d love a cold drink.’

  ‘Follow me, then.’

  We wander along to one of the small cafés until we find a table for two in the shade.

  ‘I think this should do the trick,’ Arran says, pulling out a chair for me.

  The waiter appears and Arran orders for us as I take in the surroundings. There is low level chatter going on around us and a steady stream of people walking past. Cycling appears to be a rather popular pursuit. It’s all very charming and lends a relaxing atmosphere to the beautiful setting.

  A line of plant pots to my right send out a floral bouquet of perfumed notes. There’s lavender, a very strong smelling bay which has been neatly clipped into a cone shape and a red geranium adding a bittersweet scent into the mix.