Beholden: A Small-Town Standalone Romance (Carmel Cove Book 1)

by Dr. Rebecca Sharp

  I flipped on the grinder. “I don’t know. Feels like she’s still holding back—pulling back, but maybe I was hoping for too much. Maybe I wanted too much.”

  “You think she’s still goin’ to leave?” His genuine surprise made me wonder if I was imagining it.

  “No.” I let out a sad sigh. “I don’t think she’s going to leave. I think she wants to stay here.”

  There was a freedom in grief, in the sadness of letting go of both Larry’s loss and her guilt.

  Since that day on the beach when she broke down in my arms, Laurel began to build herself back up, using her memories, my memories, this whole town’s memories to lay a path to follow. And, for the first time since Larry’s death, things started to feel right, especially seeing the coffee house coming back together.

  The whole town felt it.

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “I’m just not sure she wants to stay with me,” I told him honestly as water began to press through the grinds.

  “What?” He shook his head and laughed at me like I was a fool. “I’ve never claimed to be the smartest man in the room, but even a blind man could see the way she looks at you.”

  My mouth thinned into a tight line as I set the small cup of espresso in front of him.

  I wanted to disagree.

  I wanted to tell him all the times I felt her slip from my arms a few seconds too soon. I wanted to tell him how she gave herself to me every night with complete and utter abandon, but almost as though she needed that mind-bending release to make her forget her mounting reservations.

  And I wanted to tell him how each time I tried to pull her closer, to convince myself I was going crazy, she drifted just a little farther away.

  “Oh, damn,” Mick muttered.

  “What?” I looked to him, nodding to the coffee. “Is something wrong with it?”

  A slow smile drew across his face. “You love her,” he stated boldly with a stunned laugh. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

  My pulse ricocheted.

  Was I?

  Was I in love with Laurel?

  It didn’t explain what was happening inside Laurel’s mind, but it explained the turmoil rolling inside mine. It explained every unquenchable emotion I had around her. Desire. Possessiveness. Protectiveness.

  Love explained everything.

  And, most of all, it explained why every slight step she took away felt like the sharpest knife to my chest.

  “Eli.” One long arm reached over the corner of the counter, a large hand gripping firmly on my shoulder as he continued, “I’ve seen the way she looks at you.”

  I swallowed through the tightness in my throat. “And?”

  “And if you lost everyone you ever loved like she did, wouldn’t it scare the shit out of you to trust that emotion again?”

  I froze.

  I had lost my family. But not like she had. Not by unexpected tragedy.

  Before I could reply, Laurel appeared from the back, halting to stare at the two of us.

  “Everything okay?” She tucked the level underneath her arm.

  I nodded, unsure if my realization made the moment better or worse.

  I was in love with Laurel Ocean.

  And there was a decently good chance that very fact could put a swift end to us. To everything.

  “Thanks for the pick-me-up.” Mick drained the rest of his espresso, setting the cup on the counter and giving up a lopsided grin before returning his attention to attaching the countertop.

  “Everything’s fine,” I murmured, wanting to believe Mick more than anything. Needing to.

  Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she pulled out her cell.

  “Waiting for a call?” I asked, noticing how she stared at it like she could will it to ring.

  She shook her head with a heavy sigh. “I just… I’ve been trying to get ahold of Jules all week. I called her on Monday to see if she wanted to help me pick out new plates and mugs. She answered but said she had to call me right back.” She put her phone back in her pocket. “She never did. I just tried her again while I was in the back.”

  I walked over and put an arm around her shoulder, relieved when she curled into me. Her cousin had been another frequent topic of discussion over the past couple days. Laurel was torn up inside, worried about Jules, worried there was something going on between her and her parents. I didn’t blame her. I’d caught bits and pieces from Larry when Jules had been coming to see him; I knew she was trying to get away from Rock Beach and the tinseled and tainted life she led.

  “Laurel, if Jules needs help… wants help… she knows where to find you, she knows we are here for whatever she needs. But until that happens…” I trailed off, rubbing the side of her arm.

  “I know.” She sighed. “I just want to tell her again that I’ll help her, that I’ll pay for her to go to school.”

  “We can go up there tomorrow if you don’t hear from her.” I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. One of my favorite things was how she fit against me. Small, soft, and perfectly sized to tuck right underneath my chin.

  And I didn’t care how long it took for love to feel safe, I would hold her until then—until she knew I wasn’t going to leave.

  “Thank you. It’s probably fine, I—” she broke off as her phone began to vibrate.

  With hopeful eyes, she shoved the level against my chest and reached for her phone.

  Laurel

  Please, let this be Jules.

  I stepped away from Eli’s warmth, noting the concern in his rich ember eyes. A switch had flipped inside me after talking to my cousin—a switch that made it impossible for me to leave.

  This was my home.

  Carmel was my family.

  I thought that would be the hardest thing to accept—wanting to stay. It wasn’t. The hardest thing about wanting to stay was that leaving had put an end date on Eli and me. It created a finality where I didn’t have to worry about losing him because we would simply part ways.

  But by staying…

  Everything my heart truly wanted was suddenly within reach. And that everything had a name: Eli Downing.

  I saw it in his eyes, felt it in his touch… tasted it in his kiss… he’d hold me forever if I’d let him. And that was the most frightening thing I’d ever felt—having someone who meant so much to me in my life again.

  And having someone to lose.

  I wanted to be with him. I wanted to stay and create a life here with him. But the fear of losing him was like poison ivy around my heart—letting it feel and beat, but stopping anyone from getting too close.

  I didn’t think I was capable of a lot of things when I came back to Carmel Cove, but Eli fought to prove me wrong; he’d fought for me. And now, I fought to create some distance, wondering if, somewhere along the way, he’d unwittingly convinced me I was capable of love, too.

  But if I was, then I was also capable of loss.

  Again.

  And that thought was the most crushing kind of suffocation of my heart. The problem was, the stupid thing continued to reach for him.

  And I was afraid my heart couldn’t help itself from falling in love with him.

  Ignoring history. Ignoring grief. Ignoring reason.

  I was irrationally, irrevocably in love with Eli Downing. And I had no idea what to do about it.

  “Hello?” I turned away from him, swallowing the torrent of emotion in my throat, and answered the call eagerly.

  A well-spoken, smooth-as-silk voice answered. But it wasn’t Jules.

  “Miss Ocean, it’s Mr. Blackman calling,” the man on the other end greeted. “How are you?”

  My mouth opened and shut twice before I replied, “Fine. Thank you.”

  I caught Eli’s curious glance over his shoulder; he realized it wasn’t my cousin on the line.

  “I was wondering if you had enough time to decide to accept my generous offer?” he continued calmly, the question simply one more wall in his maze
to steer me exactly where he wanted me. “I see that the renovations to Roasters are coming along quite nicely. With the walls back up, that means it passed the building inspection, so selling the property should be a very easy step for you to take now.”

  I wasn’t sure what concerned me more: that he was keeping a close eye on my business or that he’d somehow gotten my cell phone number.

  It didn’t matter. I’d made my decision and it was just as well he heard it from me so he could finally move on from trying to buy this business.

  “Yes, things are moving along,” I began resolutely. “However, I’m sorry to tell you, Mr. Blackman, but I’ve changed my mind about the business. I’ve decided to keep it and reopen it myself, so Roasters is not for sale. Thank you though for your offer.”

  I looked at Eli and recoiled with the force with which his head whipped up to mine. His face grew hard and immovable. Enraged. And a shiver ran up my spine. There was something about this man—something he knew—and whatever it was, I had a feeling it confirmed my instincts: Blackman was a snake.

  “Miss Ocean.” Blackman’s voice until now had been a performance, all the lights making it shine nice and smooth. But now those lights were flipped off, leaving only something dangerous in the dark. “You would do better to reconsider—”

  “No,” I interjected firmly. I’d fought through enough crap to come back here, to be back here, to stay back here. I wasn’t going to be bullied by some slimy businessman. “I’ve made my decision. Roasters is not for sale and, as far as you should be concerned, will never be.”

  And then I hung up. There was no point in listening to what else he had to say—and no point in being further creeped out by him.

  I let out a small cry when I looked up to see Eli in front of me, steam coming out of his nostrils.

  “Laurel, who was that?” he bit out.

  “This guy who wants to by Roasters,” I replied, searching for answers in his angry gaze. His whole body snapped straight, and his intense stare paralyzed me with cold fear. “Alexander Blackman. He owns Blackman Brews.”

  He swore violently, slamming his fist down onto the new countertop, and I jumped at the angry display.

  “What’s going on? Who is he?” I demanded, noticing how even Mick’s gaze was scarily narrow with anger.

  “What exactly did he say?” Eli asked with a low voice, and no matter how hard I wanted to push, I couldn’t deviate from answering him. Not when I saw him like this.

  “He wanted to know if I’d thought about his offer,” I began slowly, his barely-restrained anger making me even more concerned about what I apparently didn’t know.

  “You’ve spoken to him before?”

  I gulped but nodded in confirmation. “Right after I met with the lawyer a few weeks ago.” Days and time blurred together under the heat of his stare. “He stopped by the house and offered to buy Roasters from me, and I told him it wasn’t ready to be sold because it was still a mess. So, he left his card with an offer—an exorbitant offer, and I told him I’d be in touch if I was interested.”

  “Motherfucker.” His fist pounded into the countertop again.

  “I wasn’t interested, Eli,” I went on quickly trying to abate his anger. “I threw his card away almost immediately. He was a creep.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you say anything?”

  I gaped for a second before folding my arms and straightening up tall.

  “First off, stop hitting my new countertop,” I told him, holding up a finger. “Second, it was weeks ago, and I didn’t tell you because, if you weren’t listening, I threw away his card; I wasn’t planning on looking into his offer, and I didn’t hear from him again.” A small huff escaped. “Honestly, I forgot about him until right now.”

  He rubbed a hand over his mouth, frustration and anger and fear terrorizing his face.

  “Do you want to tell me what the hell is going on right now?” I demanded through tight teeth. I’d answered enough questions. It was his turn. “Who is he and why are you so angry?”

  His hand fisted and clenched on top of the counter, Mick, who stood on the other side, not looking much more controlled than Eli.

  “Laurel, we think that Blackman was involved, and possibly the very person who ransacked Roasters in the first place,” Eli rasped.

  My heart crashed to a halt, and the fear in my veins exploded in a blast of goosebumps over my body.

  My skin crawled. He’d come to my house. He’d offered me money… for a place that he’d tried to destroy. For my business that he’d try to destroy.

  “What?” I asked with a strangled voice, looking between the two of them. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why isn’t he” —I waved my arms around as my mind blanked on the word—“arrested?”

  Eli drew a long breath, shoving his fingers through his hair and tamping his anger down when he saw the immediate effect the news had on me.

  “Covington… Ace doesn’t have proof,” he replied, meeting my gaze. “We don’t have evidence it was him, but he approached your grandfather before the break-in to purchase Roasters. When Larry refused, he began harassing him, and when Larry wouldn’t put up with it anymore, that’s when the robbery occurred.”

  I shook my head, confused. “But why destroy it if he wanted to buy it?”

  His nostrils flared as he gripped the edge of the counter, trying to balance his anger. “It doesn’t make sense. Maybe to bully your grandfather. Maybe because of something we’re missing…” His jaw ticked and I saw the ripple of tension wave through his body.

  “And we don’t know anything about him?” Stunned wasn’t even a good word for how I felt right now.

  “Ace and Dex have been looking, but there’s not much to him or his business,” he went on. “Could just be new or it could be a shell; they’re trying to dig deeper. Blackman disappeared after your grandfather’s death, but Ace caught him hanging out at Rock Beach a few weeks ago, and they’ve been trying to keep an eye on him since, but, clearly, he’s a slippery fucker.”

  Rage flicked over his features.

  So slippery they didn’t catch him coming to talk to me.

  “But it’s him, isn’t it?” I asked quietly, searching his eyes.

  He tried to be objective. He tried to make sure I understood there was nothing but coincidence and dislike that linked Blackman to what happened at Roasters. But I saw past his politically correct confession to the bitter truth underneath.

  They knew the identity of the man who’d tried to destroy my legacy but there was nothing they could do about it.

  He answered wordlessly with a pained dip of his head.

  “I didn’t think he’d come to you,” he rasped. “I didn’t want to come to you with this until we had proof. Until we knew what his endgame was.”

  Oh, god. My throat tightened, realizing his implication. This wasn’t over yet.

  “I can’t believe this.” I shuddered and a second later, Eli’s arms were around me.

  I curled into him. No matter what was happening, I felt safe in his arms and it was the only thing that calmed my hammering heart.

  “I’m sorry,” he said gruffly. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just didn’t realize he’d approached you. I don’t trust him, Laurel. I don’t fucking trust him, and to know he was around you when I wasn’t there to—” He huffed, refusing to finish the thought.

  I looked up to him. “Do you think… he’ll do something like that again?”

  His gaze became sheltered. “I have no idea. I’ll have Ace stop by and install security cameras and locks.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “No locks.”

  “Laurel—”

  “No, Eli. I don’t… I won’t put locks on the door.” I stepped back and crossed my arms in front of me, refusing to budge. “That’s not how Roasters was… and it’s not how Roasters will be. Not under my watch.”

  “Laurel,” he growled my name. “I’m not talking about forever. Just until we can figure out wha
t his endgame is, until we figure out what his motive is, I need to know you are safe.”

  I chewed on my lower lip for a minute, not wanting to set that tone for Roasters now that I was going to be the one running it. But at the same time, I didn’t want to be stubborn to the point of stupidity.

  “I’ll start locking the house door, but not here.” Pausing, I then conceded, “He can install security cameras though.”

  A long sigh erupted from his chest. “Either way, I’ve got to call Ace. He needs to know Blackman approached you. He needs to fucking figure out what that man wants because I won’t have him coming after you the way he hounded your grandfather.”

  The only way to describe his gaze was murderous. Calm and collected Eli Downing was ready to do whatever it took to protect me. The thought caused equal measures of fear and safety to pump hotly through my blood.

  “Hey,” Eli said softly, his fingers catching underneath my chin and lifting my eyes back up to the warmth of his. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to figure this out, Laurel. I promise you. I’m not going to let him harm you or this place again.”

  And what had been a seed of fear in my stomach, a worry about a loss I couldn’t control, now sprouted with a vengeance into a very real threat that endangered everything my bruised and battered heart had so eagerly let inside its walls.

  Laurel

  “Hey, Jules. It’s Laurel again,” I spoke as soon as her voicemail beeped, the door to the bakery shutting behind me with a soft click. “I wanted to try to call you again. I haven’t heard from you, so I think Eli and I are going to head up to Rock Beach to check on you. Please call me. If not, I’ll see you soon.”

  Staring at the screen, I tried to will it to ring, but it stayed silent.

  In spite of what happened yesterday at the coffee shop, learning about Blackman and the subsequent worry that stained like spilled wine in my brain, it was nothing compared to my concern for my cousin.

  Yes, Eli had locked the door to the house last night when we got home. And yes, he’d spent almost half an hour on the phone with Ace as they came up with new security protocols, including remote cameras to be installed outside Roasters this afternoon.