Independent Study

by Joelle Charbonneau

  I hear footsteps outside and hold my breath. Is it Raffe, or has someone Raffe alerted come in his place? Was putting my faith in him correct, or will I now be punished for once again ignoring my father’s advice to trust no one?

  The footsteps pause.

  The door swings inward.

  Raffe stands alone in the doorway. In his hands are a bag and a gun.

  Chapter 19

  RAFFE TURNS THE gun around and offers me the handle. I look at him before wrapping my fingers around the hard wood grip, and he gives me a satisfied nod. “I grabbed this out of my dad’s private office. Since you’re trying to stop a war, I thought it might come in handy. This will too.”

  He reaches into the bag hanging from his shoulder and pulls out a palm-sized machine. A recorder.

  “I’m pretty sure the recording in this machine and the others in the bag are what you’re looking for. And you’re right, Cia.” His expression darkens. “What’s on these recordings needs to end.”

  “It’ll end as soon as Michal gets the recordings to Symon,” I say.

  But when I leave and return with Michal, Raffe refuses to hand the recordings over. “No offense,” he tells Michal. “But I don’t know you. If you want to deliver this to your people, you’ll have to take me with you.”

  Michal stiffens. “I’m not taking the son of one of the biggest advocates of Dr. Barnes into rebel headquarters. Not only do I not trust you, but even if I did, Symon and the other members of the rebellion would see you as a threat. They’d eliminate you as soon as you walked into camp.”

  That Michal believes the members of the rebellion would kill so easily makes my blood run cold.

  “Raffe is on our side. He’s trying to find out what happened—”

  “Look,” Raffe says, cutting me off. “There’s nothing I can say that will make you trust me. All I know is I have the recordings from The Testing. If you want them, you’ll just have to make sure your friends don’t see Cia and me. Otherwise, the two of us are walking out the door and taking the recordings with us.”

  I blink at Raffe’s assumptions not only that I will side with him over Michal but that I plan on going back to the rebel camp. However, when I think about it, I know he’s right. I have to go. While I do not doubt Michal’s dedication to ending The Testing, President Collindar’s first assignment taught me that the only way to know the truth is to see it for myself.

  But while I know what I need to do, I hesitate. If Tomas safely returned to the University, he is now waiting for me to signal him. Hours have passed since the time he must have expected me. Does he think I have been killed or captured? Will he stay in his residence and trust that I will make it back, or is he already planning to leave in search of me? I should let him know I am okay. But without knowing if my absence has been noted by Professor Holt or my fellow students, I cannot take the risk. If I return to campus now, I may never have this chance again.

  Straightening my shoulders, I walk over and stand next to Raffe to show we are united. We will all go to the rebel camp.

  Michal sighs. “It won’t work. The three of us together will attract too much attention on the Tosu streets.”

  Raffe smiles. “Cia and I already know the way to the airfield. Just tell us where to meet you, and we’ll be there.”

  That Raffe knows the location of the rebel camp decides the issue for Michal. He tells us to meet him at the fence near a revitalized evergreen tree whose trunk is surrounded by a circle of stones. Once we arrive, he’ll lead us to a place where we can watch Symon’s headquarters unobserved.

  “Wait ten minutes before leaving the building, and make sure you aren’t followed.” Turning to me, he says, “Those recordings better be exactly what we need, or I’m turning him over to Symon as a potential traitor.” With this threat hanging in the air, Michal disappears out the door.

  “That went well.” Raffe looks at his watch and takes a seat. “I can see why you like him. He’s a lot of fun.”

  Despite my concerns about Michal, I leap to his defense. “Michal lived through The Testing. He helped me survive it. The two of us will do anything it takes to bring it to an end.”

  “He might do anything, but you won’t. You’d never kill someone for being a potential threat.”

  “How can you be sure? Look what I did to Damone.” The blood has been cleaned from my fingers, but I can still smell the stench and feel the way it spilled across my hands.

  “Damone attacked you. You had every right to defend yourself. If you hadn’t, you’d be dead. If I didn’t trust your judgment, I wouldn’t have brought you the gun. The only question is whether you know how to use it.”

  I clutch the wooden handle, remembering the feel of pulling the trigger, the kick of the weapon, the way eyes widen when the bullet you shot punches into a body and ends its life. The scars on my arm tingle.

  “Yes,” I say, sliding the gun into the pocket of my bag. “I know how to shoot.”

  “Good.” Raffe checks his watch and heads for the door. “After what I heard on those recordings, I think there’s a good chance that even if everything goes according to your friend’s plan, you’re going to need it.”

  Raffe leads the way as we ride through the sunlit Tosu City streets. Though we are both tired, he sets a fast pace. Every couple of blocks, he points out a landmark as though giving me a tour. Occasionally, he waves to someone as they pass. I understand. He wants us to be seen and remembered as two University students enjoying a beautiful day. Because no one who sees us would believe we have caused death and are now working hard to bring part of the government down.

  My muscles are taut. My pulse races but I smile and laugh. I tell myself that everything I have done will be worth it in the end. The recordings are the proof the rebels have been looking for. The president will play them on the Debate Chamber floor. Those who support Dr. Barnes will have no choice but to vote with the president and remove him from office. The Testing will end without bloodshed. No one else will have to die.

  We arrive at the fence and look for the tree Michal indicated. I spot it four hundred yards from where Tomas, Raffe, and I entered before. We hide our bicycles in a thicket of weeds, scale the fence, and wait for Michal. Fifteen minutes later, he appears on the horizon from the south.

  “Ranetta and the other faction’s leaders are scheduled to meet soon to finalize plans for their attack. As soon as that happens, they’ll start deploying to positions around the city as well as coordinating with the rebel University students and Tosu citizens who are willing to fight for their cause. Symon plans to make one more plea for peace. He’s at headquarters now, trying to come up with a way to convince Ranetta and her faction to hold off on their attack. You can’t go inside headquarters without being seen, but there is a broken shed in the middle of a copse of trees where you’ll have a good view of the building. That’s the best I can do.” Michal holds out his hand. “Before I take you inside, I want to hear one of the recordings.”

  “Fair enough.” Raffe digs into his bag, pulls out the recorder, and hits Play.

  “I guess I’ll be walking the rest of the way.”

  I jump at the sound of my own voice.

  “Don’t worry, Cia. You won’t be alone. I’ll walk with you.” Tomas.

  “You don’t have to.”

  The words are familiar. I close my eyes and try to remember. I see a road. A bicycle broken into pieces.

  “Yes. I do,” Tomas says. “I guess this is where we part company again. Cia and I wouldn’t want to hold you back.”

  “Funny, but I was just going to say the same thing.” Will’s voice. Then a gunshot.

  Suddenly, I am back on the road. Tomas doubles over. His hands turn red as blood from the gunshot spills over them.

  “What the hell are you doing, Will?”

  I see Will smile at me from behind his gun. Feel the fear as I relive the understanding that I have been betrayed by a friend.

  “Isn’t it obvious? I’m getting ri
d of my competition. I didn’t lose my brother and come all this way just to be told I’m not good enough to make it into the University. I made that choice early on. Only you wouldn’t die. Thankfully, a couple of the others were easier to kill before I ran out of quarrels. Both Gill and I are championship crossbow marksmen. He always takes first, but I give him a run for his money.”

  “And you think I’m just going to let you shoot me now? I’ve already proven I won’t go down without a fight.”

  “You’re smart, Cia, but you don’t have the killer instinct. I could walk away right now and you wouldn’t fire at me.”

  “You wanna bet? Go ahead and try me.”

  For a moment everything goes silent. I hear Tomas whisper my name. Then gunfire fills the air.

  And I remember. My knees buckle, and I grab the trunk of a tree to keep from stumbling to the ground as whatever barrier Dr. Barnes and his officials created to keep my memories at bay disappears.

  Ryme offering me corncakes.

  Will and Gill at the dinner table, laughing.

  Holding Malachi’s hand as life drains out of his body. His blood staining the tiles as officials carry him out of The Testing room.

  Jumping across a bridge.

  Being chased by mutated humans. Claws raking down my arm. Searing agony mixes with churning fear as I turn, fire, and kill.

  “Cia? Are you okay?” Michal’s voice cuts through the flood of memories. I look up and see him and Raffe wearing similar expressions of concern. The recording is no longer playing.

  I take a deep breath and pull my thoughts back to the present. There is time enough to sort through the past. To remember. Now is the time to make sure what is contained in those memories never happens again.

  Straightening my shoulders, I say, “I’m fine.”

  Michal searches my face. Finally, he nods. “I have to get these to Symon. Once the president plays all these recordings on the Debate Chamber floor, officials will have no choice other than to vote against Dr. Barnes. A few might argue that the acts on these recordings were not sanctioned by Testing officials, but they won’t stand a chance against public outrage.”

  The idea of Will’s betrayal, Tomas’s near death, and my attempt to kill being played aloud on the Debate Chamber floor makes me dizzy as I shift the bag on my shoulder and follow behind Michal and Raffe. People will know the choices I have made. They will hear the things we’ve all done and pass judgment. A small price to pay, I tell myself, for bringing The Testing to an end.

  Twice we stop at the sound of nearby voices. Finally, we reach the broken outbuilding where Michal instructs us to wait. Two rotting gray walls are wedged in between a group of squat, twisted trees. Eroded sections in the front wall give us a good view of a long stretch of pavement four or five hundred yards away. On either side of the pavement are buildings. A handful of rebels hurry across the compound, long black guns slung over their shoulders. Zeen is not in sight, but he is here. Somewhere. And soon, because of these recordings, he will be safe. We all will.

  Michal points to a building less than a hundred feet from where we are crouching. It’s a small red brick building set in the middle of a grove of trees.

  “No one who comes by should question the two of you. But if someone asks, pretend to be new recruits who are looking for time alone. You should be fine.” Michal holds his hand out to Raffe, who hands over his bag. “Don’t move from this spot. I’ll be back soon.”

  We watch through rotting wood as Michal hurries through the trees and disappears inside the brick structure. After ten minutes, he walks out. I gasp when a man with gray hair appears behind him.

  I know that man.

  Closing my eyes, I sift through my memories. He stood on the other side of a fence during The Testing. He gave me food and a drug that helped me keep my family safe from secrets I would have been compelled to share during the interview. Michal once told me I’d met Symon during my Testing days. This must be him.

  Symon claps Michal on the shoulder and walks with him in our direction. I hold my breath as they pass by our location, and I hear a familiar voice say, “I can’t thank you enough for bringing these recordings directly to me.”

  “I would have brought them to the president myself, but I know you wanted me to bring anything I found to you, Symon,” Michal says. “Once she plays these recordings on the Debate Chamber floor, the members will have to vote in favor of her motion. Dr. Barnes will be removed. You can tell Ranetta when you meet with her today. She will be relieved to know there won’t be a need for any more senseless death.”

  From a crack in the one side wall, I see Symon sigh. “I know it seems that these recordings should guarantee the president wins the vote. However, I have learned that when dealing with the brightest minds, you have to expect some will question and have different opinions. Just as you do.”

  My heart races. Those words. I’ve heard words like those spoken in just this way. By this same voice. In the early morning hours to Professor Holt.

  I shift to get a better look at Symon. He shakes his head and takes a small pistol out of his pocket. “I’m an expert at dealing with those kinds of questions and the trouble they cause. That’s why Jedidiah assigned me to this post.”

  Two shots split the air. Michal’s eyes widen. His hands reach for his chest and he crumples to the ground. Terror claws my swollen throat, but the hand that clamps over my mouth prevents sound from escaping. I swallow the scream and hear Raffe whisper against my ear, “Keep still. You can’t help him.”

  He’s right. The bullets were fired directly into Michal’s heart. He was dead before he hit the ground. Even knowing that, I must use every ounce of my willpower to sit motionless as the blood flows unchecked from Michal’s body. To not cry out. To not strike back at the man who stole his life. I fight to breathe as Symon places the recorder on the ground next to Michal’s lifeless body, points the gun at it, and fires two more times. After picking up the shattered recorder and the bag containing the recordings, Symon walks back to the building without giving Michal a second glance.

  A sob rips from my heart. Tears stream down my face as I take a halting step forward. I want to hold Michal’s hand as I did for Malachi, but Raffe pulls me back. Silently he points to two men coming out of Symon’s headquarters. They stride quickly to where Michal lies. One takes his feet. The other grabs his shoulders. Together they cart Michal’s body away.

  “Come on.” Raffe grabs my hand and pulls. “We have to go.”

  I take one last look at the ground stained with Michal’s blood. Tears burn my eyes and sear my throat as I dig through my bag. When my fingers close around the handle of Raffe’s gun, I turn and run.

  My feet fly over the ground. Tears blind me. I stumble over roots and debris, but I don’t fall. Raffe’s grip on my hand keeps me upright and moving. The scene I witnessed plays over and over in my head as I try to make sense of Michal’s death. Symon, the leader of the rebellion designed to remove Dr. Barnes peacefully and destroy The Testing, has just committed a murder to ensure the plan he created fails.

  Why?

  It isn’t until my fingers grip the fence that I recall Symon’s words and begin to understand. “When dealing with the brightest minds, you have to expect some will question the direction we are taking.”

  The Testing was created to ferret out the best and the brightest young minds and mold them into leaders. But the best leaders form their own opinions. They want to go their own ways. How better to control those differing opinions than to allow them to think their views are being heard and even acted upon? If those who want change think they are part of a rebellion, there’s no reason for them to start one of their own. By allowing them to think they are helping one or two students like me during The Testing, Symon has convinced them that they are having a real effect. Symon’s argument for a peaceful solution wasn’t to save lives; it was a delaying tactic to ensure that The Testing could continue to take them. To ensure that the rebellion would never
take place. Year after year of caution. Year after year of Testing candidates’ deaths.

  Until now.

  After so many years of inaction, the rebels to whom Symon has counseled patience are no longer willing to wait. They have planned an attack. An attack Symon and Dr. Barnes know about. Possibly they’ve even encouraged it to eliminate those who have become too hard to control. To keep The Testing safe to select the next generation of leaders even if it means plunging a country into war.

  If nothing happens to alter Symon’s plans, my brother, the rebels, and hundreds of selected Testing candidates will die. Dr. Barnes and his team will win.

  I refuse to let that happen.

  But the only way to stop it is to create a new rebellion. A rebellion free of Dr. Barnes’s control.

  For that, I will have to step up and be the leader the University is teaching me to be.

  Deep in my heart, I hear Michal’s voice whisper the words he said before I began the fourth phase of The Testing. “You’re smart, Cia. You’re strong. There are people like me on your side who know you can make it. Please, prove I’m right.”

  I’m not sure that I can, but I have to try.

  Raffe and I ride to the University in silence as we absorb what we have witnessed. As our bicycles glide under the iron entrance, I put my hand in my pocket to signal to Tomas that I am back and realize my pocket is empty. The switch I created is gone. So is the special transmitter I created to prevent University officials from following my movements.

  When did I lose them? Have Dr. Barnes and his officials been able to track our movements the entire time we were away from campus?

  Raffe doesn’t seem to notice my concern as he suggests we split up. He will go to the residence and see whether Damone’s absence has raised an alarm. I will wait fifteen minutes and then follow. If it’s safe, Raffe will be standing near the entrance.

  But even if an alarm hasn’t been raised, it still may not be safe. Not if Dr. Barnes knows I was not on campus. That Raffe and Tomas were with me. Before I can warn Raffe about the tracking devices and what Dr. Barnes might know, he rides off, promising to see me soon.