Take A Number: A Fake Dating Romantic Comedy

by Amy Daws

  “Okay,” he says, pinching his lips together to fight back a smile, but it’s completely ineffectual. “Now who’s the competitive one?”

  “Look, I’m sorry for sucking on that mountain, but I’m going to make it up to you because this is way more my style.”

  “Swinging is your style?”

  I reach over and poke him in the ribs. “Scavenger hunts, Dean. Focus here. I was the master of scavenger hunts at the Methodist church camp I attended when I was a kid. I don’t know what Kate’s challenges are going to be exactly, but I think we have a real shot at this.”

  Dean nods. “Then let’s do it.”

  Kate passes out the envelopes, and everyone retreats to their prospective corners to begin. With shaky hands, I pull out the paper and begin to read. “Find the gnome that gets wet like clockwork. Complete the challenge hidden under the gnome and receive a bonus point.”

  I look at Dean, and his brow is furrowed in concentration. “Gets wet once in a while? Like from a shower? Or the pool?”

  “Those don’t run on a clock,” I reply, chewing my lip nervously, and then my eyes widen. “A sprinkler!” I look around nervously to see if anyone overheard me.

  Everyone seems to be deep in thought on their own questions, so I waffle my fingers through Dean’s and pull him through the living room. “Let’s go read this in our bedroom so we can think,” I state a bit obnoxiously for all to hear.

  Dean laughs behind me, and I shoot him a glare. Fucking amateur. Half the battle with scavenger hunts is maintaining a good poker face, so you don’t inspire the pack to speed up.

  We bypass our bedroom door and dart out the side entrance onto the veranda. Cool autumn air whips around my exposed thighs, and I shake away the chill. “There’s got to be a sprinkler system out here…we need to find it, and we’ll find the gnome.”

  Dean and I spread out, walking around the perfectly manicured lawn and looking for any sign of a sprinkler system. My heart is racing at the thrill of a competition I can actually enjoy. I really should read one of Kate’s books. If she puts this much time and attention into her research, I’m sure they’re great.

  “Found a gnome!” Dean hollers.

  I shush him and rush over to where he’s standing by a big landscaped berm full of mums. I grab the clay gnome and look underneath it. “Find a dark corner and make out for three full minutes. Set a timer so you don’t cheat! Honor system is intact.”

  Dean doesn’t miss a beat as he grabs my hand and pulls me across the patio to a stone cut out on the side of the house. My heels scrape against the flagstone pavers as he twirls me around to face him in the dark alcove. His tall frame is illuminated by the lights behind him as he sets the gnome down on the ground and fiddles with his phone to start a timer.

  “You ready?” he asks, looking at me and shoving his phone in his pocket so his hands are free.

  My chest rises and falls as I bite my lip and nod while silently praying he can’t hear how hard my heart is thumping inside my chest. The mixture of the competition excitement and the anticipation for what I know is coming later tonight collides and creates a heavy fog of desire in my lower belly.

  My voice is raspy when I answer, “Ready.”

  He steps closer, his warm body blanketing me as he braces a hand against the stone by my head and backs me against the wall. His eyes lock with mine, a whisper of a smile dancing in his gaze as he dips his head to my level. “Go,” he utters before he brushes his lips gently against mine.

  He tastes like red wine, and that, coupled with the scent of his spicy cologne, has my toes curling in their boots. I splay my hands out on his chest and tilt my head as his lips move slowly, almost lazily, with no offer of tongue. My brows furrow as I wait for him to turn up the heat like he did in our bedroom last night. I may have been drunk, but I remember every single second of that kiss he planted on me.

  It was a great kiss.

  This is a whisper of what I know Dean is capable of. What’s he waiting for?

  My lips quiver impatiently as I snake my hands up behind his neck and pull him closer. I’ve been through enough these past few days, and my stress level with the new bakery and franchise opening and especially my mother has me operating at a level ten. Which means I don’t want an appetizer or a sample platter kiss. I want a four-course meal of the man who’s been flirting endlessly with me for ages and who hours ago agreed to have sex with me.

  My chest heaves as I crush my breasts against his hard body and thrust my tongue deep into his mouth. I turn us around so now he’s pressed against the wall and I’m in control of the kiss.

  It’s been a year. A whole freaking year since a man has kissed me, and I need more. I’ve earned more.

  Dean must get the memo because his hands grip tightly around my waist and a thrill shoots through my core as they rove up my back, and his tongue meets mine thrust for thrust—tasting, teasing, and demanding full reciprocation. My nipples tighten when his palms brush the sides of my breasts, and I can’t help but let out a little moan of hope.

  I comb my fingers through his hair and fall deeper into this feverish moment as he grabs my leg and pulls it onto his hip, causing my hemline to ride up as he thrusts his groin between my thighs. The thin fabric of my silk panties offers no protection against the rough texture of his denim, and the friction is delirious. My pelvis develops a mind of its own, and I feel myself grinding against him in small, thrusting motions.

  Good God, I’m losing my mind right now. Rachael was right. My battery-operated toys are no match for some genuine hip action.

  Dean’s other hand drops, and he grabs my ass and pulls me up around his waist, but a stabbing pain has me crying out and jerking my leg out of his grasp.

  “My ass!” I gasp and press my forehead against Dean’s chest as I flinch against the onslaught of pain. “Anywhere but my ass!”

  “Fuck,” Dean growls, tucking my hair behind my ears so he can see my face. “I’m so sorry, Norah. I completely forgot.”

  Tears prick my eyes from the intensity of the horror that just befell me. “Oh my God, that hurt like a bitch.”

  “Shit, I really am sorry. Are you okay?” He crooks his hand under my chin so he can look at me, concern etching his handsome features.

  I nod. “I’m okay. It hurt…but it was kind of a good hurt…like a deep tissue massage from a really big guy named Sven.”

  Dean’s chest vibrates with laughter. “Want me to do it again?”

  “God, no!” I pull out of his touch. “Are you a sadist?”

  He laughs and steps toward me, his body bowing over mine as he cradles my cheeks gently in his hands. “I’m kidding. Come here.”

  He lowers his mouth and kisses me deeply again, putting me right back into the moment and forgetting all about the horrid pain in my derriere. His tongue swirls with mine as lust begins to squeeze my insides. His right hand skates up my ribs as he gently caresses my breast.

  “How about here…can I touch you here?” He bites his lip and watches his hand squeeze my C cup before his thumb glides over the top of my still hard nipple.

  I nod my head and exhale a shaky breath. “Yes, you can touch me there.”

  He turns me around in one quick motion, his hands sliding up my body to cup both of my breasts as he kneads them possessively. “Do you like my hands on you, sugar tits?”

  I nod slowly, feeling totally drugged out with arousal and the view of his hands on me. “Yes.”

  One hand moves downward to tease my clit over my dress. “Do you want to say fuck this scavenger hunt and let me take you to bed?” he asks, his voice hot and gruff in my ear.

  My head turns to look up at him. “God, yes!”

  He smiles and kisses me on the cheek. “Good, because I never set a timer.”

  In a breath, Dean steps back and grabs the gnome while yanking me by the arm out of the dark alcove and back toward the door we came through earlier. My body feels like a live wire that could go off at any second. I can�
��t remember any man’s touch lighting me up the way Dean’s does. Granted, there haven’t been that many men in my life, but I think there might be some serious perks to having sex with a mountain manwhore. Dean clearly knows how to touch a woman—confident and sensual while still surprisingly intimate. I wonder if he’s like this with all the women he’s been with?

  Bad segue. Very bad segue. Just stay in the moment, Norah. Don’t think about Dean’s other conquests. This is just sex…sex that you need in your life.

  As soon as we make it to our bedroom door, Kate emerges from her own darkened corner. “Done with the hunt already?” she asks, pinning us both with a pointed look as she glances at the gnome in Dean’s hands.

  We pause awkwardly, looking at each other for a quick excuse. “We just…need to brainstorm,” I mumble at the same time Dean says something about flashlights.

  Flashlights? What the hell?

  Kate smiles victoriously. “I think this series is going to be a best seller!”

  Dean rolls his eyes and wrenches open the door, calling out good night as he places the gnome in front of our room and unapologetically slams the door in Kate’s face. He spins me into his body, his lips finding mine again as his hands work their way up the skirt of my dress. “Please tell me Rachael packed you more naughty lingerie.”

  I smile and silently remind myself to give Rachael a raise on Monday as Dean peels my dress over my head to reveal the matching pale pink bustier and panties.

  “Fuck,” Dean growls reverently as he stares at my body on full display for him like he’s trying to memorize it. Moisture pools between my legs as a hungry look casts over his features. “Did Rachael buy all this stuff for you, or is this from your personal collection?”

  “It’s mine.” I cover my stomach nervously. “But admittedly, I would have packed more modestly for this weekend…because, well…I didn’t expect this to happen.”

  Dean’s dark, liquid eyes hit me with a curious glint. “All this sexy underwear deserves to be worn, Norah.”

  “I do wear it,” I reply crisply while stabbing a finger into his meaty chest. “It’s a feminine power thing.”

  Dean bites his lip and grabs my hand, combing our fingers together between us. “What does that mean exactly?”

  “It’s something I read years ago.” I tilt my head to watch his reaction. “Experts said wearing a Superman T-shirt under your clothes made wearers feel more confident and powerful in business. I figured if a Superman shirt gave men big-dick energy, sexy lingerie could do the same for women. I’ve been wearing stuff like this ever since.”

  Dean blinks slowly as his brows pinch together. “Are you trying to tell me you’re in stuff like this under that baker’s parka you wear?”

  “Pretty much.” I glance down to play with the vertical ribbing along my rib cage. “I have drawers full of this stuff. You don’t want to know how much I’ve spent over the years. But hey, that big-dick energy has grown my business immensely, so it clearly works.”

  Dean stares at me with a sort of fond look on his face and then shakes his head dismissively. “Had I known you had this going on under that tarp you wear, I would have tried a lot harder.”

  I bark out a laugh. “If that was you taking it easy, I don’t want to know what trying hard would have looked like.”

  “Now you’ll never have to find out.” He flings off his glasses and steps closer, dipping his head to kiss the mounds of cleavage created by my push-up bra. His voice is deep and gravelly as he murmurs, “You taste as good as you look, sugar.”

  I roll my eyes. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”

  My breath catches when he grabs my breasts greedily in his hands and pins me with a look. “I’ve never meant it more than right now.”

  My lips form a thin line as I nod to his chest. “Your turn.”

  His brows furrow. “My turn?”

  “I’m in my underwear…so you should be too.”

  He shakes his head like I’m some silly puppy in need of training. “Norah, you’re not controlling this tonight.”

  “Say what?”

  “You control every other aspect of your life. Let me have this.”

  He steps forward, pinning me in place with his chocolatey eyes, and reaches behind me, unfastening the several clasps of my longline bra. I gasp when the air hits my bare nipples, but Dean doesn’t look at them. Instead, he continues watching my face as he skates his fingers up my belly and slowly circles each of my breasts one at a time.

  My hands clench into fists as I silently will him to just fucking bend me over the couch or something already. Do I need to remind him it’s been a year?

  “It’s hard, isn’t it?” he croaks, his breath hot on my ear as he nuzzles it.

  “What?” I question, my head falling back at the heady sensation of his whiskers on my flesh.

  “Letting go.”

  I sway in my heeled boots. “Dean,” I moan when he finally grazes my hardened nub and rolls it firmly between his fingers.

  “What do you want, sugar?” he asks, leaning in and pressing his lips to my throat in long, sensual kisses.

  “I want sex,” I state honestly. “Now. It’s been too long. We need to hurry this along.”

  Dean tsks and moves his lips to the other side of my neck, paying special attention to my shoulder as he murmurs, “I want to savor this, Norah. Let me get to know your body first.”

  He backs me up and slowly lays me on the bed, careful of my tender ass as he pulls off my boots and his lips explore my body—my mouth, my neck, my shoulders, my breasts. Definitely my breasts.

  I didn’t think it was possible to orgasm from nipple stimulation alone, but the combination of his lips and that trim beard on my body is doing crazy things to my libido.

  He finally returns to my lips, and I grab his face and wrap my legs around his hips to pull him on top of me. I need to feel his weight against me. I want to touch his dick and see if he’s…

  “Not yet,” he says, moving to my side and propping himself on his elbow as he caresses his fingers along my stomach. “I need to see if you’re ready.”

  I hit him with an unamused look. “Take your pants off and find out.”

  Dean smiles, pressing his face into the blanket as his entirely-clothed body shakes with laughter. “You’re so bossy.”

  “It’s the lingerie,” I reply and curl into him while reaching for the button on his jeans.

  “You’re not in charge right now.” He grabs my hand and stills it. “Lie back again.”

  I suck in a deep breath while he slowly drags his fingers along my hip bone and teases the hem of my panties. He watches me hungrily as I writhe on the bed in anticipation. When he finally steals his fingers inside the fabric and gives my center one gentle swipe, I practically preen like a cat.

  “You’re fucking soaked.” He growls an approving noise.

  “I could have told you that.” I level him with a look, my arousal-drunk eyes blinking slowly at him before I gasp and arch off the bed.

  Dean plunged a thick, long finger inside me without warning, and oh my God, this is where I die.

  “And so tight,” he says reverently.

  I groan, my hips greedily thrusting up into his touch, begging for more. “A year, Dean.”

  “We’re going to make up for that tonight,” he says, and I hear the rustle of the bed as he moves down to stand between my legs.

  His erection is straining against his jeans as he peels my panties off, dropping them to the floor to expose my bare center to his watchful eyes. His fingers trail slowly up my legs as he kneels and blows a cool breeze over my center.

  “Holy shit,” I cry out, bucking up toward him in surprise. Have I ever been this turned on in my entire life?

  The answer is no. A resounding NO.

  “I’m going to taste you now, Norah,” Dean says, and I have to close my eyes because I can’t watch. It’s all too much.

  He spreads my thighs with his large, warm hands
as his mouth descends onto my sex. He flattens his tongue along my clit before pulsating it against me and causing a riot of heat to shoot through my limbs, all the way down to the tips of my toes that are now curling into his shoulders.

  The build is instant. Way too instant. Is premature orgasm a thing for women? Because…

  “Oh, my God!” I scream when Dean tilts his head and sucks with animalistic intensity.

  But apparently, he knows what he’s doing because something inside me snaps, and my entire body erupts as hard pulses of aftershock shoot through me, causing my stomach to tighten as I cover my face in embarrassment.

  That…was quick.

  I feel Dean’s huff of laughter against my inner thigh, and I glance down at him. “Something funny down there?”

  He shakes his head. “Nothing funny at all.” He stands and begins unbuttoning his shirt. “You should lose control more often. It looks good on you.”

  I melt into the mattress as Dean begins to disrobe. “I need a minute,” I state, unsure I’ll be able to handle the image of Dean naked so soon after a mind-shattering orgasm.

  “No breaks,” he clips, pulling his shirt off his shoulders.

  “Why no breaks?”

  “You’re letting go, Norah. Don’t take over.”

  My eyes wander from Dean’s face to his tanned shoulders. They’re broad and smooth and curved with the perfect amount of muscle. Not too big, but nowhere near small. His abs are outlined more distinctly with each harsh breath, and the line of his hip bones point right to his erection, something that should be sculpted someday.

  When he undoes his jeans and reveals his erection, giving it room to breathe, I gape. Yes, I saw it last night, but standing there with it pointing at me, throbbing with need, I really appreciate the sight of it more.

  It’s a good-looking dick.

  It’d be a Main-Event, front and center croinut for sure.

  If I were willing to share…which, I’m not.

  Dean extracts a condom from his jeans and rolls it on with a deft ease I don’t really want to think about right now. The bed dips as he crawls up between my legs.