The Splendid Spur

by Arthur Quiller-Couch

  CHAPTER IV.

  I TAKE THE ROAD.

  So puffed up was I by the condescension of the two princes, and my headso busy with big thoughts, that not till I was over the bridges andclimbing the high ground beyond South Hincksey, with a shrewd northeastwind at my back, could I spare time for a second backward look. By this,the city lay spread at my feet, very delicate and beautiful in a silvernetwork, with a black clump or two to southward, where the line ofBagley trees ran below the hill. I pulled out the letter that Anthonyhad given me. In the moonlight the brown smear of his blood was plain tosee, running across the superscription:

  "_To our trusty and well beloved Sir Ralph Hopton, at our Army inCornwall--these._"

  'Twas no more than I look'd for; yet the sight of it and the king's redseal, quicken'd my step as I set off again. And I cared not a straw forDr. Kettle's wrath on the morrow.

  Having no desire to fall in with any of the royal outposts that layaround Abingdon, I fetched well away to the west, meaning to shapemy course for Faringdon, and so into the great Bath road. 'Tis not mypurpose to describe at any length my itinerary, but rather to reservemy pen for those more moving events that overtook me later. Only in theuncertain light I must have taken a wrong turn to the left (I think nearBesselsleigh) that led me round to the south: for, coming about daybreakto a considerable town, I found it to be, not Faringdon, but Wantage.There was no help for it, so I set about enquiring for a bed. The townwas full, and already astir with preparations for cattle-fair; andneither at the "Bear" nor the "Three Nuns" was there a bed to be had.But at length at the "Boot" tavern--a small house, I found one justvacated by a couple of drovers, and having cozen'd the chambermaid toallow me a clean pair of sheets, went upstairs very drowsily, and infive minutes was sleeping sound.

  I awoke amid a clatter of voices, and beheld the room full of womankind.

  "He's waking," said one.

  "Tis a pity, too, to be afflicted thus--and he such a pretty young man!"

  This came from the landlady, who stood close, her hand shaking myshoulder roughly.

  "What's amiss?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

  "Why, 'tis three of the afternoon."

  "Then I'll get up, as soon as you retire."

  "Lud! we've been trying to wake thee this hour past; but 'twassleep--sleep!"

  "I'll get up, I tell you."

  "Thought thee'd ha' slept through the bed and right through to thefloor," said the chambermaid by the door, tittering.

  "Unless you pack and go, I'll step out amongst you all!"

  Whereat they fled with mock squeals, calling out that the very thoughtmade them blush: and left me to dress.

  Downstairs I found a giant's breakfast spread for me, and ate the hole,and felt the better for it: and thereupon paid my scot, resisting thelandlady's endeavor to charge me double for the bed, and walked out tosee the town.

  "Take care o' thysel'," the chambermaid bawled after me; "nor flourishthy attainments abroad, lest they put thee in a show!"

  Dark was coming on fast: and to my chagrin (for I had intendedpurchasing a horse) the buying and selling of the fair were over, thecattle-pens broken up, and the dealers gather'd round the fiddlers,ballad singers, and gingerbread stalls. There were gaming booths, too,driving a brisk trade at Shovel-board, All-fours, and Costly Colors; andan eating tent, whence issued a thick reek of cooking and loud rattle ofplates. Over the entrance, I remember, was set a notice: "_Dame Allowayfrom Bartholomew Fair. Here are the best geese, and she does them aswell as ever she did_." I jostled my way along, keeping tight hold on mypockets, for fear of cut-purses; when presently, about halfway down thestreet, there arose the noise of shouting. The crowd made a rush towardit; and in a minute I was left alone, standing before a juggler who hada sword halfway down his throat, and had to draw it out again beforehe could with any sufficiency curse the defection of his audience; butoffered to pull out a tooth for me if I wanted it.

  I left him, and running after the crowd soon learn'd the cause of thistumult.

  'Twas a meagre old rascal that someone had charged with picking pockets:and they were dragging him off to be duck'd. Now in the heart of Wantagethe little stream that runs through the town is widen'd into a cisternabout ten feet square, and five in depth, over which hung a duckingstool for scolding wives. And since the townspeople draw their waterfrom this cistern, 'tis to be supposed they do not fear the infection. Along beam on a pivot hangs out over the pool, and to the end is a chairfasten'd; into which, despite his kicks and screams, they now strappedthis poor wretch, whose grey locks might well have won mercy for him.

  Souse! he was plunged: hauled up choking and dripping: then--just as hefound tongue to shriek--souse! again.

  'Twas a dismal punishment; and this time they kept him under for a fullhalf minute. But as the beam was lifted again, I heard a hullaballoo anda cry--

  "The bear! the bear!"

  And turning, I saw a great brown form lumbering down the street behind,and driving the people before it like chaff.

  The crowd at the brink of the pool scatter'd to right and left, yelling.Up flew the beam of the ducking stool, reliev'd of their weight, anddown with a splash went the pickpocket at the far end. As well for myown skin's sake as out of pity to see him drowning, I jumped into thewater. In two strokes I reach'd him, gained footing, and with Anthony'ssword cut the straps away and pull'd him up. And there we stood, up toour necks, coughing and spluttering; while on the deserted brink thebear sniff'd at the water and regarded us.

  No doubt we appear'd contemptible enough: for after a time he turnedwith a louder sniff, and went his way lazily up the street again. He hadbroken out from the pit wherein, for the best part of the day, they hadbaited him; yet seemed to bear little malice. For he saunter'd aboutthe town for an hour or two, hurting no man, but making a clean sweepof every sweet stall in his way; and was taken at last very easily, withhis head in a treacle cask, by the bear ward and a few dogs.

  Meanwhile the pickpocket and I had scrambled out by the further bank andwrung our clothes. He seemed to resent his treatment no more than didthe bear.

  "Ben cove--'tis a good world. My thanks!"

  And with this scant gratitude he was gone, leaving me to make my wayback to the sign of "The Boot," where the chambermaid led me upstairs,and took away my clothes to dry by the fire. I determin'd to buy ahorse on the morrow, and with my guineas and the King's letter under thepillow, dropp'd off to slumber again.

  My powers of sleep must have been nois'd abroad by the hostess: for nextmorning at the breakfast ordinary, the dealers and drovers laid downknife and fork to stare as I enter'd. After a while one or two loungedout and brought in others to look: so that soon I was in a ring ofstupid faces, all gazing like so many cows.

  For a while I affected to eat undisturbed: but lost patience at last andaddressed a red-headed gazer----

  "If you take me for a show, you ought to pay."

  "That's fair," said the fellow, and laid a groat on the board. This camenear to putting me in a passion, but his face was serious. "'Tis a realpleasure," he added heartily, "to look on one so gifted."

  "If any of you," I said, "could sell me a horse----"

  At once there was a clamor, all bidding in one breath for my custom. Sofinishing my breakfast, I walked out with them to the tavern yard, whereI had my pick among the sorriest-looking dozen of nags in England, andfinally bought from the red-haired man, for five pounds, bridle, saddle,and a flea-bitten grey that seem'd more honestly raw-boned than therest. And the owner wept tears at the parting with his beast, andthereby added a pang to the fraud he had already put upon me. And I rodefrom the tavern door suspecting laughter in the eyes of every passer-by.

  The day ('twas drawing near noon as I started) was cold and clear, witha coating of rime over the fields: and my horse's feet rang cheerfullyon the frozen road. His pace was of the soberest: but, as I was noskilful rider, this suited me rather than not. Only it was galling to betold so, as happened before I had gone thr
ee miles.

  'Twas my friend the pickpocket: and he sat before a fire of dry sticks alittle way back from the road. His scanty hair, stiff as a badger's,now stood upright around his batter'd cap, and he look'd at me over thebushes, with his hook'd nose thrust forward like a bird's beak.

  "Bien lightmans, comrade--good day! 'Tis a good world; so stop anddine."

  I pull'd up my grey.

  "Glad you find it so," I answered; "you had a nigh chance to compare itwith the next, last night."

  "Shan't do so well i' the next, I fear," he said with a twinkle: "butI owe thee something, and here's a hedgehog that in five minutes'll bebaked to a turn. 'Tis a good world, and the better that no man can counton it. Last night my dripping duds helped me to a cant tale, and got mea silver penny from a man of religion. Good's in the worst; and life'slike hunting the squirrel--a man gets much good exercise thereat, butseldom what he hunts for."

  "That's as good morality as Aristotle's," said I.

  "'Tis better for _me_, because 'tis mine." While I tether'd my horse heblew at the embers, wherein lay a good-sized ball of clay, baking. Aftera while he look'd up with red cheeks. "They were so fast set on drowningme," he continued with a wink, "they couldn't spare time to look i' mypocket--the ruffin cly them!"

  He pull'd the clay ball out of the fire, crack'd it, and lo! inside wasa hedgehog cook'd, the spikes sticking in the clay, and coming away withit. So he divided the flesh with his knife, and upon a slice of breadfrom his wallet it made very delicate eating: tho' I doubt if I enjoyedit as much as did my comrade, who swore over and over that the worldwas good, and as the wintry sun broke out, and the hot ashes warm'd hisknees, began to chatter at a great pace.

  "Why, sir, but for the pretty uncertainty of things I'd as lief die hereas I sit----"

  He broke off at the sound of wheels, and a coach with two postillionsspun past us on the road.

  I had just time to catch a glimpse of a figure huddled in the corner,and a sweet pretty girl with chestnut curls seated beside it, behind theglass. After the coach came a heavy broad-shoulder'd servant riding ona stout grey; who flung us a sharp glance as he went by, and at twentyyards' distance turn'd again to look.

  "That's luck," observed the pickpocket, as the travelers disappear'ddown the highway: "Tomorrow, with a slice of it, I might be riding insuch a coach as that, and have the hydropsy, to boot. Good lack! when Iwas ta'en prisoner by the Turks a-sailing i' the _Mary_ of London,and sold for a slave at Algiers, I escap'd, after two months, with EliSprat, a Gravesend man, in a small open boat. Well, we sail'd threedays and nights, and all the time there was a small sea bird following,flying round and round us, and calling two notes that sounded for allthe world like 'Wind'ard! Wind'ard!' So at last says Eli, ''Tis heaven'svoice bidding us ply to wind'ard.' And so we did, and on the fourth daymade Marseilles; and who should be first to meet Eli on the quay but aFrenchwoman he had married five years before, and left. And the jade hadhim clapp'd in the pillory, alongside of a cheating fishmonger with acollar of stinking smelts, that turn'd poor Eli's stomach completely.Now there's somewhat to set against the story of Whittington next time'tis told you."

  I was now for bidding the old rascal good-bye. But he offer'd to go withme as far as Hungerford, where we should turn into the Bath road. Atfirst I was shy of accepting, by reason of his coat, wherein patches ofblue, orange-tawny and flame-color quite overlaid the parent black: butclosed with him upon his promise to teach me the horsemanship that I sosadly lacked. And by time we enter'd Hungerford town I was advanced sofar, and bestrode my old grey so easily, that in gratitude I offer'd himsupper and bed at an inn, if he would but buy a new coat: to which heagreed, saying that the world was good.

  By this, the day was clouded over and the rain coming down apace. Sothat as soon as my comrade was decently array'd at the first slopshopwe came to, 'twas high time to seek an inn. We found quarters at "TheHorn," and sought the travelers' room, and a fire to dry ourselves.

  In this room, at the window, were two men who look'd lazily up at ourentrance. They were playing at a game, which was no other than to racetwo snails up a pane of glass and wager which should prove the faster.

  "A wet day!" said my comrade, cheerfully.

  The pair regarded him. "I'll lay you a crown it clears within the hour!"said one.

  "And I another," put in the other; and with that they went back to theirsport.

  Drawing near, I myself was soon as eager as they in watching the snails,when my companion drew my notice to a piece of writing on the windowover which they were crawling. 'Twas a set of verses scribbled there,that must have been scratch'd with a diamond: and to my surprise--for Ihad not guess'd him a scholar--he read them out for my benefit. Thus thewriting ran, for I copied it later:

  "_Master Ephraim Tucker_, his dying councell to wayfardingers; to seek_The Splendid Spur_.

  "Not on the necks of prince or hound, Nor on a woman's finger twin'd, May gold from the deriding ground Keep sacred that we sacred bind Only the heel Of splendid steel Shall stand secure on sliding fate, When golden navies weep their freight.

  "The scarlet hat, the laurell'd stave Are measures, not the springs, of worth; In a wife's lap, as in a grave, Man's airy notions mix with earth. Seek other spur Bravely to stir The dust in this loud world, and tread Alp-high among the whisp'ring dead.

  "_Trust in thyself_,--then spur amain: So shall Charybdis wear a grace, Grim Aetna laugh, the Lybian plain Take roses to her shrivell'd face. This orb--this round Of sight and sound-- Count it the lists that God hath built For haughty hearts to ride a-tilt.

  "FINIS-Master Tucker's Farewell."

  "And a very pretty moral on four gentlemen that pass their afternoon asetting snails to race!"

  At these words, spoken in a delicate foreign voice we all started round:and saw a young lady standing behind us.

  Now that she was the one who had passed us in the coach I saw at once.But describe her--to be plain--I cannot, having tried a many times.So let me say only that she was the prettiest creature on God's earth(which, I hope, will satisfy her); that she had chestnut curls and amouth made for laughing; that she wore a kirtle and bodice of grey silktaffety, with a gold pomander-box hung on a chain about her neck; andheld out a drinking glass toward us with a Frenchified grace.

  "Gentlemen, my father is sick, and will taste no water but what isfreshly drawn. I ask you not to brave Charybdis or Aetna, but to stepout into the rainy yard and draw me a glassful from the pump there: forour servant is abroad in the town."

  To my deep disgust, before I could find a word, that villainous oldpickpocket had caught the glass from her hand and reached the door. ButI ran after; and out into the yard we stepp'd together, where I pump'dwhile he held the glass to the spout, flinging away the contents timeafter time, till the bubbles on the brim, and the film on the outside,were to his liking.

  'Twas he, too, that gain'd the thanks on our return.

  "Mistress," said he with a bow, "my young friend is raw, but has agood will. Confess, now, for his edification--for he is bound on a longjourney westward, where, they tell me, the maidens grow comeliest--thatlooks avail naught with womankind beside a dashing manner."

  The young gentlewoman laughed, shaking her curls.

  "I'll give him in that case three better counsels yet: first (for by hishabit I see he is on the King's side), let him take a circuit from thisplace to the south, for the road between Marlboro' and Bristol is, theytell me, all held by the rebels; next, let him avoid all women, eventho' they ask but an innocent cup of water; and lastly, let him shunthee, unless thy face lie more than thy tongue. Shall I say more?"

  "Why, no--perhaps better not," replied the old rogue hastily, butlaughing all the same. "That's a clever lass," he added, as the doorshut behind her.

  And, indeed, I was fain, next morning, to agree to this. For, awaking, Ifound my friend
(who had shar'd a room with me) already up and gone, anddiscovered the reason in a sheet of writing pinn'd to my clothes----

  "Young Sir,--I convict myself of ingratitude: but habit is hard tobreak. So I have made off with the half of thy guineas and thy horse.The residue, and the letter thou bearest, I leave. 'Tis a good world,and experience should be bought early. This golden lesson I leave inreturn for the guineas. Believe me, 'tis of more worth. Read over thoseverses on the windowpane before starting, digest them, and trust me, thyobliged,

  "Peter, The Jackman.

  "Raise not thy hand so often to thy breast: 'tis a sure index of hiddenvaluables."

  Be sure I was wroth enough: nor did the calm interest of the two snailowners appease me, when at breakfast I told them a part of the story.But I thought I read sympathy in the low price at which one of themoffer'd me his horse. 'Twas a tall black brute, very strong in theloins, and I bought him at once out of my shrunken stock of guineas.At ten o'clock, I set out, not along the Bath road, but bearing to thesouth, as the young gentlewoman had counselled. I began to hold a highopinion of her advice.

  By twelve o'clock I was back at the inn door, clamoring to see the manthat sold me the horse, which had gone dead lame after the second mile.

  "Dear heart!" cried the landlord; "they are gone, the both, this hourand a half. But they are coming again within the fortnight; and I'mexpressly to report if you return'd, as they had a wager about it."

  I turn'd away, pondering. Two days on the road had put me sadly out ofconceit with myself. For mile upon mile I trudged, dragging the horseafter me by the bridle, till my arms felt as if coming from theirsockets. I would have turn'd the brute loose, and thought myself wellquit of him, had it not been for the saddle and bridle he carried.

  * * * * *

  'Twas about five in the evening, and I still laboring along, when, overthe low hedge to my right, a man on a sorrel mare leap'd easily as aswallow, and alighted some ten paces or less in front of me; where hedismounted and stood barring my path. The muzzle of his pistol was in myface before I could lay hand to my own.

  "Good evening!" said I.

  "You have money about you, doubtless," growled the man curtly, and in avoice that made me start. For by his voice and figure in the dusk I knewhim for Captain Settle: and in the sorrel with the high white stockingI recognized the mare, Molly, that poor Anthony Killigrew had given mealmost with his last breath.

  The bully did not know me, having but seen me for an instant at "TheCrown," and then in very different attire.

  "I have but a few poor coins," I answer'd.

  "Then hand 'em over."

  "Be shot if I do!" said I in a passion; and pulling out a handful frommy pocket, I dash'd them down in the road.

  For a moment the Captain took his pistol from my face, and stooped toclutch at the golden coins as they trickled and ran to right andleft. The next, I had struck out with my right fist, and down he wentstaggering. His pistol dropped out of his hand and exploded betweenmy feet. I rush'd to Molly, caught her bridle, and leap'd on her back.'Twas a near thing, for the Captain was rushing toward us. But at thecall of my voice the mare gave a bound and turn'd: and down the road Iwas borne, light as a feather.

  A bullet whizz'd past my ear: I heard the Captain's curse mingle withthe report: and then was out of range, and galloping through the dusk.