by Ava Harrison
He’s right, and I’m acting like an idiot.
I lift the tank up and then pull my underwear off. Once I’m fully naked, I rub the soap all over my body before I go to hand it to Alaric, who is now also naked and sporting a very impressive length.
He rubs his body, and I swear it’s the most erotic thing I have ever seen. Okay, that’s not true, watching him wash and then touch himself might have been.
Once he also has soap on his body, he places the soap back and then takes my hand.
“You ready?”
“Yes.”
Together, we walk closely against the stone until we are walking almost directly under the waterfall.
The water soaks us both, and then we are behind the falls in a pool of water. It’s not as deep here, but just being underneath some water feels amazing right now.
I use the spraying water as a makeshift shower, and then I’m scrubbing my body.
It’s only a few minutes later when I feel him. He’s behind me with his hard body pressed against mine.
His lips are the first thing to touch me. They trail across my shoulders, placing small kisses on my skin. Next, his hands reach around me, pulling me flush against his body.
He’s long and hard behind me, his erection resting on my back. He’s leading me as he kisses me, leading me to the rocks that are no longer underwater.
“Brace yourself,” he says. His hands are all over me now. Touching and teasing me everywhere.
A part of me wonders if this is safe with the storm outside, but where we are behind the waterfall, it’s as if we are in our private grotto.
I lean forward and place my hands on a rock. It’s slippery but no more slippery than if I was bracing myself in a shower.
His hands spread my legs, and then his fingers thrust inside me.
Preparing me to take him again.
He keeps up the pace before he pulls his fingers out, and then I feel him nudging at my entrance.
I’m about to tell him to hurry, that I can’t hold myself like this forever, but then he thrusts inside me and takes all my words away.
I can’t speak.
I can’t think.
All I can do is feel.
He slams in and then pulls out.
The angle is so deep this way, I can feel every inch of him, and it’s delicious.
With each thrust, I feel myself getting closer and closer.
This won’t be long. This is a wicked frenzy. A need we both can’t quench.
He fucks me hard, claiming ownership of my body, and I allow it. I welcome it. I give it to him freely.
I know he’s close, which is good because I’m close too. I feel my legs tremble; I feel my body tightening, and then I’m flying off the side of the waterfall. I’m falling over my own cliff, and as Alaric bites down on my shoulder and tightens his hold, he falls over too.
He stays inside me as I catch my breath, and then he’s slipping out and helping me stand.
I’m turned around before I know what’s happening, and his mouth is on mine.
It’s a tender kiss, soft and passionate, not hurried like before. Not claiming. No, this kiss is more than that. This is the type of kiss that holds promise. But I know deep down it can’t. It’s another lie we tell ourselves to survive on this island. But I shake those thoughts away. For now, I’ll fade into the dream and pretend.
34
Alaric
After the impromptu fuck at the waterfall, I pull her into my arms and lead her back to the cave.
Since we don’t have towels, we sit naked by the fire to dry while we cook the fish.
With the storm still going strong outside, we don’t have many options. As we wait for the wind and rain to pass, Phoenix regales me with stories of her life once Michael took her in.
The man she describes does not match the man I know.
But the man Phoenix has gotten to know on this island, the parts I have only shared with her don’t match the man the world knows of me.
Here, I’m able to let down my guard. Here, my only responsibility is to keep us alive.
There is nothing else.
A part of me doesn’t want to leave.
I’d never admit that, but things are simple here. Peaceful. There is no false pretense; all there is survival.
It’s like all those years ago …
When my father dropped me on an island and told me he’d be back in a week.
There was no room to hate him, to hate anyone, when you just want to live.
It’s refreshing.
Ever since my brother was murdered, ever since I got the call that my car was blown up parked outside the back of the building where my brother was, my life has never been simple.
“Am I boring you?” Phoenix asks. Her head is inclined, and her brows knit together.
How long was she talking?
And what the hell did she say?
“No,” I respond.
Her lips tip up into a smirk. “Then what did I say, Alaric?” She winks.
Because she knows I wasn’t listening.
“You said that I was devastatingly handsome, and that you wanted to f—”
“Now I know you weren’t listening,” she cuts me off.
“I was, but when you discussed your dorm room in boarding school, you lost me.”
Phoenix gives me a timid smile. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s okay, I want to hear about it. We have nothing else to talk about it, so your dorm room isn’t awful …”
“Why don’t you tell me what you were thinking about?” she says, moving closer and taking my hand in hers.
“Because I can’t,” I admit.
“Why?”
I pull my hand away from hers and look at her—well, stare is more like it. Her eyes go wide with understanding.
“You were thinking about my father.”
I nod.
“You were thinking about the war?”
I nod again.
“I know that this might sound strange, but do you want to talk about it?”
I cock my head this time and stare at her, really stare. “You want me to talk about why I want your father dead with you?”
She bites her lower lip. “I mean, if it’s eating you up …”
“You would do that … for me?” I ask, not really understanding her at this moment. This is the man who saved her, and she wants me to discuss my feelings about him.
“Do I want you to hate him? No. Do I want to convince you that you shouldn’t? Yes.”
“That will not happen.”
She lifts her hand. “I’m not saying it will. What I’m saying is, if I have my druthers, I would convince you otherwise, but since that’s not going to happen, you can at least talk to me about it and explain.”
“Explain what? That he killed my brother. There’s really not much to explain.”
Her mouth opens and shuts.
Instead of waiting for her to speak, I reach for her and pull her onto my lap.
“Dove, I don’t want to bring that up here. I don’t want to talk about real life here.”
I look down at her. I know it hurts her for me to hate the man she loves so much, but it doesn’t stop it from being true. It doesn’t stop me from wanting revenge.
“But—”
“No buts. We are living in a different reality right now. Why bring the actual world into it? Why tarnish this? Can’t we just live in the moment right now?”
At my words, her shoulders hunch forward, and she remains quiet. The silence stretches before she must mull over my words and decide I’m right because she looks back up at me. There’s no mistaking my words hurt her, but neither of us can do anything on that front right now, so there’s no point in talking about it.
“Agree not to mention it again,” I say, placing a soft feathery kiss on her lips.
“Okay,” she mumbles.
I sweep my tongue over the seam of her mouth.
“I can think of much
better ways to spend our time.”
“Is that so?” she purrs.
“Yes. If you’re bored, I can entertain you …” My words hang in the air, dripping with innuendo.
“And what exactly can you do to entertain me?” Her hands reach around my body until she holds me closer.
“I can make you forget your name.”
“But can you make me forget yours?”
“Never,” I rasp, and then I force her mouth open with my tongue and plunge into its warmth.
She moans into the kiss, and I deepen it.
This is a much better use of our time together. There is no need to burden ourselves with the rest. There are too many things outside our control.
This is enough for now.
We kiss for a long time until we are both panting and needing more.
Still naked, I position her on top of me, straddling my lap, and then she slides down onto my cock.
The feeling of being wrapped up in her warmth is perfection.
It makes the world fade away.
She is more potent than any drug. I’m completely intoxicated by her.
With each rise and fall of her hips, I’m lost to her.
Completely and utterly lost.
35
Phoenix
I stretch my hands over my head and let out a large and probably dramatic yawn.
It’s been a few days since the storm hit, and it’s still going strong. Whenever the winds die down, we quickly bathe ourselves in the lake. It’s not ideal, but we make do.
Thankfully, we had a lot of fish, since we can’t go looking for more food. But it also solidifies that once this storm is over, we will have to spend days recouping the food we ate before we can even consider escaping.
It’s scary.
A part of me thinks we should stay here.
But this island isn’t ideal.
Although the cave is helpful, we can’t stay here indefinitely.
Alaric seems confident we’ll find another island, as long as we have enough food and water to last ten days. According to him and the map he showed me on the boat, there are plenty of islands near where we are.
He says that even if no one finds us, we should be able to find shelter on another island regardless, and maybe that one will have a better food supply.
Fish and coconuts and the occasional starfruit aren’t enough for us to live here long term.
Eventually, we will get sick.
The only option is to try.
There is an actual possibility we will die, but we both agree we would rather die fighting.
Which brings me back to the here and now.
We have spent days wrapped in each other arms, losing ourselves repeatedly in each other’s bodies.
I have never felt pleasure like what he has given me.
Since my life is hanging in the balance, I don’t think of what any of this means, so I just enjoy him.
Enjoy the comfort I can get from him, even if that means pretending.
It’s not really a lie.
I’m just ignoring the truth.
Looking to my side, I see that he’s still asleep. After our last romp, we both passed out.
The man certainly has stamina. I don’t think I have ever had this much sex in my life.
But when he’s inside me, I feel like anything is possible.
I feel like surviving is possible.
Again, with that lie.
Now the only question is, what will happen if we do?
What will it mean for us?
Nothing.
It will mean nothing.
It will just be two people who needed to find peace in Hell.
As if he knows my gaze is on him, he stirs.
A yawn leaves his body, and his arms reach over his head.
He opens his eyes to catch me staring at him.
“You’re up?” he asks as he rubs the sleep from his eyes.
“I am.”
His face grows serious as he watches me where I am. “It’s rare someone gets the drop on me.”
“You’ve taught me well.”
“Yes, your survival skills are really coming along. The fire you started today was good,” he says.
“It was on point,” I fire back before smiling.
“If you say so.”
“I do.” Reaching for my tank top, I move to put it on, but he shoos my hand away. “Don’t you think we need a break?”
His hand reaches out, and his fingers form a circle around my nipple.
“Speak for yourself. I never need a break.” He leans into me until his tongue is tracing the column of my neck.
“Be serious, Alaric.” I push him off and move to an upright position.
“I’m always serious about sex.”
“Sex … is that all that matters?” I huff as I reach for my tank top again, finally managing to put it on.
“Don’t start that right now.”
“Start what? Having feelings. Not wanting to be used.”
“Cut the shit, dove.”
“Dove. Dove. Dove!” I shout, acting like a petulant child, and I’m not even sure why. I knew that this wasn’t serious, so why am I acting like this? But as much as I tell myself to calm down, I find my emotions are over the place as I say, “Fuck that shit.” I move to a standing position and look down at him and snarl. “I’m not some little dove. I’m a goddamn Phoenix, no matter what happens. No matter who burns me, I’ll rise.”
I pace the little cave, and I’m not sure where my anger is coming from or when Alaric wraps his arms around me. But he does.
“You’re right.”
I stop moving.
This seems to be Alaric’s favorite way to hold me, my back to his front. He’s always holding me like this. Like I am a dove that’s trying to fly away.
“You’re not a dove. You are a Phoenix. I just like the way it sounds now. Habit.”
“As long as you know what I am.”
He spins me around, his hand reaching beneath my jaw and tilting it up.
“I know exactly who you are, Phoenix, no matter what nickname I call you. This isn’t just sex, but I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“We talk about everything but the truth.”
“Is it wrong that I don’t want to rock the boat?” I glare at him for his comment, and he smirks. “Terrible choice of words.”
“You think?”
“We’re taking pleasure in each other, not just physical but also emotional, and to go there would ruin this little ecosystem. Neither of us knows what the future will bring.”
“I know. I know you’re right … But—” I take a deep breath, trying to find the right words to convey why I am upset and what I want. “I can’t help but want to talk about it anyway.”
“Fine. But not now.”
“Why not …?”
“Because we just got into a fight. Our first fight and I want to make up.”
I level him with my stare.
“What?”
Placing my hand on my hip, I shoot him daggers with my eyes. “You know what.”
“Fine.” He leans down and kisses my mouth. It’s a chaste kiss, and it lightens the mood. “Let’s eat something and then venture outside to see about the storm.”
“Do you think it’s safe?”
He walks over to the area where his clothes are, and I watch his ass as he walks.
I shouldn’t judge him for always wanting to have sex. The man is a modern sexual miracle and his ass a work of perfection. Cut from marble. The truth is, I want nothing more than to touch him, but I don’t say that. Instead, I just ogle him longer before turning away.
“It might not be perfectly safe, but the last time we were outside, the winds were much weaker. It’s still raining, but the storm might be passing. If that’s the case, we can safely fish again and replenish everything we’ve eaten.”
“You would feel comfortable leaving this shortly after the storm?”
I turn back to look at him. His face is serious. “No. But I don’t think we have a choice.”
Even though my head nods, I’m not sure how I feel. He’s right. Long term, this island isn’t the right move, but I’m still not sure when to leave.
“Let’s not think about this now. We can decide in a few days.”
“Yeah, probably a smart idea.”
It is. But a part of me still wants to know more about what he thinks my father did. I understand he thinks he killed his brother. My father said as much, but I can’t help but need to know more of that story.
But right now isn’t the time. There might never be a moment that will make sense.
That will just be something I have to deal with.
36
Alaric
Things have been tense ever since the showdown with Phoenix yesterday. We went outside. The storm is definitely passing.
I estimate it will be gone by tomorrow, which means today is my last full day with her in this cave before we start to prepare.
Tonight, I’ll leave the fire going all night. There’s no reason to snuff it when we can gather more wood tomorrow.
I sit down on the floor and get the twigs to ignite. Phoenix sits in front of me.
“Do you ever wish we had marshmallows?” she asks as she takes a seat next to me.
“I never pictured you as a roasting marshmallow type of girl.”
“What kind of girl did you picture me as?”
It’s a hard question, and now that I know she was raised alone in a boarding school, it’s even harder.
“Honestly?”
“Of course. At this point, after everything we have been through together, how can you even ask.”
“I picture you as a loner. Not much different from me. But while I was not by myself by choice, you were. In the end, we ended up being similar. You choose to be alone because, in your mind, everyone who you cared about left you. Including Michael.” I say his name even though it’s bitter on my tongue. “Even if he saved you, he left you. So you never tried.”
Her eyes are wide and glassy.