Smooth Moves

by Marie Harte

  “You know, I’m sensing some sarcasm.”

  Reid’s eyes narrowed. “You’re sensing a lot of it, yes. But you know what? Who can blame you? If it was me, and some douche tried to hurt Naomi, I’d have been all over him. Not you. You let Jordan kick his ass then you finished.”

  “Hey, he was breathing and unbroken when I left him.”

  “Well, there’s that.” Reid shrugged, rubbed his hands together, then nodded to the living room. “So tell me what you’re thinking of doing to fix all this.”

  Feeling a strange sense of enthusiasm for the project—he’d never been a house-and-home kind of guy—Cash walked his brother through the place, putting his own stamp on things. “I think the structure’s sound, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a professional take a look. Other than that, paint and maybe some new appliances, and the house is solid.”

  “You need furniture. Factor that in.” Reid followed him into Angela’s bedroom. “What do you call this color? Puke green?”

  “I’d go with puke. Or maybe pea soup or sour lime.” Cash hated the damn color, especially because it matched that shitty rose wallpaper in the hall. “I was kind of thinking Jordan could help me pick out furniture. You know, get a woman’s touch.”

  “What does her place look like?”

  Cash frowned. “I got the feeling she just kind of moved in not long ago. It’s small, and the furniture was kind of like Angela’s.”

  “Older and crappy?”

  “Yeah.” Maybe not the best idea to get Jordan’s help after all.

  “She could be renting it furnished. Or she has shitty taste.” Reid shrugged. “You could always just walk around a furniture place and test her on what she likes. Then if you agree with her taste, you let her help.”

  “Good point.” Cash glanced around, bemused he didn’t feel awkward about making this house his own anymore. “This is the biggest room in the house. I should probably keep it as the master, right?”

  “I would.” Reid didn’t hesitate. “The bed is old but in good condition.”

  The sleigh bed had a high headboard and low footboard. It was a dark cherry wood and actually handsome. And it was the same bed his father and mother had shared. “Nope. That’s got to go.”

  “Good call. I’d do the same. But the dresser and mirror are keepers. So are the bookcases.”

  “Maybe.” Cash could see how he felt, and how Jordan felt, about keeping them. “But I’ll definitely need a new bed and mattress.”

  Reid opened the nightstand drawers, saw them empty, and peered under the bed. “You got everything out of here. Good job.” He stood and looked around. “You know, once you paint over all this and give it a good cleaning, it’ll be your house. It’s big too.”

  “Yeah. At first I figured Jordan could move into the rental with me, but with Rafi so close, I’d never get any action.”

  “See? And you call yourself stupid. Nah, my brother’s a thinker.” Reid laughed at him. “Smart move. Bigger house, more chance of getting lucky with her little brother far down the hall. Especially with these thin walls.” Reid tapped the wall above the headboard and frowned. He tapped another section of the wall.

  “Is it me, or is that section there hollow?”

  “Yeah, it sounds like.” Reid looked closer. “See the faint lines here?”

  Cash leaned in. “They’re obvious now that you point them out. How did we never notice that before?”

  Reid studied the wall and pointed to a small hole. “See that? I think she had a picture over it.”

  Reid and Cash moved the bed back so they could easily access the wall.

  Reid tapped again, then pushed, and a section of the wall opened. “Shit. I know what this is. Dad built a wall safe, only it wasn’t a safe, just a hidden pushout he built into the wall. It was years ago. He had some cash and a gun he kept in here. Oh wow. I’d totally forgotten about all that.”

  “Seriously? Wonder what’s in there now.”

  Reid stepped back. “It’s your house. You do the honors.”

  “Thanks so much.” Cash pulled the square of wall out and exposed a small cache of his mother’s riches. A tattered copy of a favorite romance. A few videos he had no intention of watching. Especially if the General Hospital labels were to cover up some naughty-mom movies. Gross. He spotted a bundle of cash and brightened. He pulled it out, only to flip through so many ones.

  “Yeah, that’s Mom. A big spender.” Reid laughed. “Hey, man, you’re loaded!”

  “Shut up.”

  “And just think, you can copy and sell her homemade porn tapes. Because you know that woman did not keep her soap operas locked up.”

  “That’s disgusting.”

  “Disgusting and funny.” Reid shoved Cash aside and reached in to take the tapes. “I’m going to have Naomi watch them for me. If they’re sex tapes, I’m trashing them.”

  “And if they’re old soaps?”

  “I’m still trashing them. But I have to know.”

  “You’re an idiot.”

  Reid grinned. “Yeah, I am.” Then he frowned. “What’s back there?”

  “Huh?”

  Reid nodded. “It’s dark and blends with the dark wood of the back, but it looks like a journal.”

  “Oh hell. It’s probably her diary.”

  “You know what? You keep the tapes. I’ll take that.”

  “Nope. I’m going through this.”

  “Well?” Reid waited.

  Cash sat with him on the bed and opened it up. Their mother’s perfect handwriting, in a cursive that looked like scripted font, detailed events dated back to when Cash and Reid had been in elementary school.

  “God, that’s old.” Reid leaned closer, and Cash shoved his head out of the way. “Hey.”

  “Hold on.” Cash read through his mother’s thoughts, hearing her as a real person. A young woman with thoughts and dreams. “Damn. She sounds half normal. She’s bitching about Dad ignoring her. He worked too hard. She was lonely. And apparently he didn’t hold a candle—her words—to her soap operas and books. He was no romance novel hero.”

  “Huh. Never would have thought.” Reid gestured for Cash to hand him the book.

  Cash did and stood to look through the rest of her hidey-hole. “I never did understand why she thought Charles would be more than he was. He was a simple guy who loved his wife and his son.”

  “Sons,” Reid murmured.

  “Sons, until something went wrong.” Cash sighed and pulled out the rest of Angela’s prized possessions, sad to see what they amounted to. Some old photos of him and Reid as babies. A few photos of her parents he recognized from seeing them a long time ago. A few trinkets and figurines he couldn’t care less about. He counted out the stack of money, surprised to find a fifty buried in every few one dollar bills. All said, he counted out five hundred bucks. “Not bad. We’ll split this, okay?”

  “Oh my God.”

  Cash glanced up.

  Reid looked pale. “Cash, uh, this I think explains things.”

  “What? What does it say?”

  Reid started to hand him the book, but Cash shook his head. “You read it.”

  Reid blew out a breath. “Okay, fine. But remember, you and I are brothers, family, no matter what. Say it.”

  Shit. Cash could feel what was coming, had known it for years but never wanted to acknowledge that truth.

  “We’re brothers,” Cash agreed. “You and me. The only family we got.”

  “Remember that.” Reid clenched the journal tight. “Okay, this is from Mom over twenty years ago. ‘I just dropped Reid and Cash off at school. Cash started third grade today, and Reid started first. So cute, my little boys. Charles left early, too busy building a new home to give today the importance it deserved. But why am I surprised? The man works, comes home expecting his dinner and
his wife at his beck and call.

  “‘We made love last night, but it was over too fast.’”

  He paused.

  Cash wiped a hand over his face. “Can you skip that part?”

  “No. I read it, you have to hear it.” Reid cleared his throat. “Ahem. ‘He never takes time for me. Just a few grunts and it’s over. But it’s hard to blame him. He is his father’s son. I hated Jonas so much. He treated Barbara terribly. At least Charles loves me, in his own way. I just wish it was enough. But it’s not so hard anymore, not when he’s coming for me.’”

  “He?” Cash’s heart raced. “He who?”

  Reid continued, “‘Our meeting was fated. Destiny. My one and only. It doesn’t matter that he’s married, that I have Charles. Allen has always been the great love of my life.’”

  “Jesus Christ. Allen?”

  Reid nodded, his gaze somber. “Sounds a lot like all-in, doesn’t it?”

  My little all-in, what his mother had called Cash in private. “Oh my God.”

  “It gets better, or worse, depending on how you look at it. ‘Allen arrived at noon. I had missed him so much. We made sweet love, and it was like being born again. When we’re together, it’s as if nothing else matters. He asked me about Cash again, but I told him we can’t go back and redo our lives. Charles can never know that Cash is not his son. He loves them both so much. It took all I could do to convince him that Cash was his in the first place.

  “‘When Charles first learned about my affair, he cried. I’ve never seen a man cry like that. But he forgave me, and he forgot, and he never knew Cash wasn’t his. Then we had Reid. Our little family was perfect.’”

  Cash was reeling. “God, I’m really not his.”

  “We kind of figured that, Cash. This isn’t a big revelation.” Reid watched him with care. “You want me to keep going?”

  “Yeah. A little more, I guess.” Cash had always wondered about his father. And now it made sense. Charles must have found out that Cash wasn’t his. No matter that the older he’d grown, the more he’d resembled his father’s size and stature. His biological father must have been a big guy too.

  Finding it hard to breathe, he sat down.

  Reid continued. “‘I can’t leave Charles. Allen can’t leave his wife. It’s so sad, our pure love that can never be allowed. The yearning for my dearest burns me so. That we must keep our deepest feelings a dark secret. Will our true love ever be known to the world?’” Reid scowled. “That’s awful. It’s like she was trying to write a romance novel using her own life as material. And it’s just…bad.”

  “Yeah.” Cash swallowed around a dry throat. “So Charles knew. But he never said. I don’t get it. He hated me. Why not tell me the truth?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe when I read further into this?” Reid paused. “I think you should do it.”

  Cash’s hand shook as he took the volume from Reid.

  “Hey, it’s getting late. I’m going to grab us some sandwiches. You stay here and read that, okay? I’ll be back.”

  Cash nodded, poring over his mother’s book. It was like hearing her speak, all that bad dialogue and romantic fiction so much bullshit. She’d been a spoiled, selfish woman caught up in her own ideals of love and romance. While Charles had been no prince, he’d put food on the table and a roof over her head. He’d provided for his family and watched over Reid and Cash as much as he’d been able.

  Cash remembered camping with his dad. Playing sports, learning how to build things, to fix an engine. Tons of stuff a boy should learn from his old man. But none of it had been enough for Angela. He read:

  It’s Cash’s seventh birthday. I don’t know if I can do this anymore. Pretending to lose my baby boy four years ago has eaten at me. So much I couldn’t write during that dark period. Only Allen kept me sane. That and my little All-in. Cash is so dear to me and favors his father so much. I wish I could show him how much I love him. Those beautiful green eyes are so soft, so loving. My little All-in, I call him, in remembrance of my truest love.

  Charles has no idea, and it’s best I keep it that way. If he knew Allen’s name, who Allen really was, I fear he’d kill my love.

  But my baby boy, my little Riley. So special. I miss him every day, but at least he’s in good hands with Meg. I miss my sister. I miss my son.

  And it happened. As I’d feared, I made a mistake. Charles heard Cash talking about what should have been our little secret, my private nickname for my boy. Charles came to me and demanded to know why I’d called him that. And it all came spilling out. How much I missed Allen. How Cash reminded me of his father.

  Charles hit me that day. Only once. A slap across my face.

  And then he cried. My big, strong husband cried like he’d only cried that one time before. And I knew then I should never think to leave him. Not when my love meant so much to him. I saw the depth of Charles’s pain, and it moved me so.

  I swore I’d never see Allen again. And from that day forward, I meant it. Allen was heartbroken. But Charles. He glowed with joy, that I’d chosen him over my true love.

  I tried to hold onto that joy. But so lost without Allen, I turned inward. And found happiness in the words of others.

  Cash couldn’t catch his breath. He set the book down and put his head between his knees, feeling ill.

  Riley? Fuck me. She had another kid, and she gave him away?

  He caught his breath and read through the passage again, realizing what must have happened. After having him and keeping him a secret, Angela kept fucking around with her lover—Allen, his father—and had gotten knocked up after Charles’s vasectomy. No way she could try to pass off another kid as his. How the hell she’d hidden that pregnancy Cash had no idea. Then he recalled his mother going to visit her family for a few months when her sister had fallen ill, back when he’d been little. He remembered because Charles had made him and Reid grilled cheese sandwiches and watched football with them on TV. They’d shared late-night treats and time with Daddy—Charles.

  According to the journal, Angela had barely shown with him or with Reid. She must have been small enough to fool everyone into thinking she’d just gained a little weight then hidden out at her sister’s for the last months of her pregnancy. She’d returned home the same old mom. At least, Cash had no recollection of his mother having another child.

  So he wasn’t Reid’s full brother. They shared a mother. And Cash had a full younger brother somewhere.

  “Somewhere? Who the hell am I kidding? There’s a six foot four shithead at work who looks just like me,” he said out loud. Hearing it, he felt totally drained, shocked, saddened, and so fucking angry he wanted to hit something.

  Could Smith be his brother? But she’d called the boy Riley. Smith—that arrogant piece of crap—couldn’t possibly be his brother, could he? Had he known all this time? Was that the reason for his attitude? Or was Cash reaching, delusional just because some idiot at work happened to look like him?

  He lay staring at the ceiling, knowing he needed to read the rest of her journal but was unable to muster the strength to learn more secrets.

  He heard the front door open and close.

  “Cash?”

  Reid had returned. He entered the bedroom, took a good look at Cash, and grabbed the journal. “I’ll read the rest. I can guess at some of it already.”

  Cash just lay there, wrung out, unsure about everything.

  Reid remained quiet and sat by his side.

  “You know the worst part about losing Mariah?” Cash said out of the blue.

  “What?”

  “Knowing she agreed with Angela. When she called me nothing, said I was too dumb to realize she’d been cheating or stealing, that I didn’t have an emotional core and couldn’t connect, I believed her. When she told me I was heartless and never saw to her needs, it was like I’d taken a page from the Cha
rles Griffith school of relationships. But even that was a lie.”

  “Don’t do this to yourself, Cash.”

  So numb yet still feeling a blurred pain in his chest, Cash rubbed his breastbone. “Man, I don’t even know why I’m upset. I mean, Charles was a dick. You and I used to talk about him hating me because I wasn’t his kid. But he never mentioned it.”

  Reid sighed. “Maybe he couldn’t admit it out loud. He did love Mom.”

  “He did. She says he did at least.” Cash kept staring at that ugly popcorn ceiling. “You and I are half brothers.”

  “Which we’d also guessed before. So what?”

  “So what?” Cash repeated, feeling out of sorts, and sat up.

  “Do you think I love you any less because you have a different dad?”

  “No. Yes. No. I don’t know.” Cash hated that the numbness started wearing off, that he felt so sad and angry. “She fucked us all up.”

  “Yes, she did.”

  “I’m not even good enough to be hated by my own father. Allen fucking left.”

  “Yeah, well, Charles hated you enough for the both of them,” Reid said wryly.

  A hard knot of laughter stuck in his throat. “At least I get why now.” Another thought penetrated, and he hated that it pierced like an arrow through his heart. Corny and trite but real all the same. “She was never calling out to me. I was her tie to Allen. All-in my ass.”

  Reid said nothing, no doubt having figured it out before Cash.

  “Even there at the end, it was all about her ex-lover. Not her son.” And that bothered Cash far more than it should have. “Angela was dead to me for so long. But I thought she kind of loved me. But no. I was just an echo of Allen. Shit, Reid. I never had anybody.” And that hurt, so fucking much. What was wrong with him that his supposed father, mother, and real father didn’t like or want him?

  “Shit. It’s not you, it’s them.” Reid vaulted to his feet and crossed to block the bedroom door before Cash could leave. “They don’t matter. We had the same shitty mother, Cash. And yeah, different deadbeat daddies.” Reid clutched his shoulders and shook him. “But you have me. I love you, Cash. And I see you. I always have.” Reid’s eyes glittered. “You’re everything to me. I looked up to you growing up. I still look up to you. When everyone else shit all over you, you stood strong. You never gave up. I joined the Corps because of you, and, man, it was the best thing I ever did. If I didn’t have you, I’d be lost.”