Diary of a Dweeb
Page 4
Is That A Foot In My Mouth?
It really was too bad that my next class wasn’t physics, because I sure had a doozy of a question for a physics teacher. Then again I guess it could also be posed to a math teacher, and maybe even a phys-ed teacher too. Is it physically possible to walk on one foot while the other one is in your mouth. Which then of course would lead to another question, which I suppose should be posed to an English teacher, or maybe a philosophy teacher. If one has a foot in one’s mouth is it possible to make a coherent sound? Well, no matter what their answers would have been, I attempted to do that very thing today.
Let me tell you, it isn’t easy.
Jackson just stood there and looked at me in silence for a few moments. I could see the corners of his mouth tighten in annoyance.
“Can you just take me to the next class?” he asked, his tone clipped.
I stood there and looked at him. Outwardly I hoped I wasn’t showing too much emothion. Inside I knew there were multiple Shaylins beating the crap out of me, which I fully deserved.
“I’m just…I don’t usually…I mean I’m not used to….” The last bit I was actually going to finish, but Jackson spoke over me.
“Not used to what? Interacting with other humans?”
I could feel myself flinching at that jab, but it still hurt a little. “I guess so.” I replied.
I then continued walking down the hall. I didn’t look back to see if Jackson was following or not. It would be really foolish to ask someone to show you to someplace and not follow them then.
Once we reached the door to the class I turned to him to say that we had reached our destination. Well maybe not in those exact words, I mean I am dweeby enough without sounding like a GPS. Before I could say anything he nodded his head, which I suppose was in acknowledgement and headed into the classroom.
Letting out a resigned sigh I stepped into the room after him.
As I walked to my seat I could see Jackson talking to Ms. Stoner. I took my seat, then went into my backpack and grabbed my biology textbook and put it on the table in front of me. I stared down at it as I silently made a wish that Jackson wouldn’t once again be sat next to me. Not because of anything he had done, but because of how much of a jerk I had been to him. As I heard the chair next to me being pulled back I silently cursed.
I really should have known that he would be sitting next to me. The seat he had taken had been the only open seat. Everyone else was seated with their lab partners. Whereas I, being the dweeb that I am, didn’t need a lab partner. Ms. Stoner believed I was such a wonderful student that I could handle the work myself. She was right, but that was beside the point.
I turned to Jackson and saw that he was looking straight ahead. I looked down at my book and waffled back and forth between saying something to him or not saying anything. Finally I decided my course and opened my mouth to speak.
“Look I amsorry about what I said earlier. I shouldn’t have said that.” I said by way of apology.
“You think?” he replied, sarcastically.
I just stared at him in shocked silence. I admit I had been a bit of a jerk but I hadn’t been that rude. At least I didn’t think so, yet here he was continuing to be rude to me even after I apologized.
“I did apologize.” I pointed out.
“If you hadn’t said it in the first place, you wouldn’t have to apologize.” he responded.
I felt my ire rising. It looked like I was right about him. He was one of those kinds of people. “We all make mistakes.”
“I guess yours was opening your mouth.” Jackson said.
If I had been a normal person I would have flown off the handle and cursed him up one side and down the other. We all know that I am not normal though, still I knew my face was red from anger.
“I guess yours was thinking I give a darn what you say.” I told him, coolly, then opened my textbook and proceeded to ignore him.
Well, I had gotten my foot out of my mouth at least. However it looked like it just wound up landing in a pile of proverbial crap.
When Life Gives You Lemons…..
Once you put your foot in that proverbial pile of crap it has hard to get rid of the smell, even if it is all just in one’s imagination. Even if Jackson had forgiven me or forgotten the whole episode everybody else wouldn’t let him. Or rather they wouldn’t let me forget it. Not that they would actually deign to talk to me and rub it in. No, for once my fellow classmates were quite subtle, if you called giving me knowing smirks subtle. I for one did consider that subtle, considering that in normal circumstances they would have been laughing outright or calling out to me that Jackson no longer needed me to hold his hand. Well maybe they wouldn’t have gone that far, I am not sure they would understand the meaning of innuendo. My, how bitter that sounds. It wasn’t their fault that I had been such an idiot, not totally. I made my own choice to act like that, however maybe if I had had more interaction with people my own age I would have known better how to act in that situation, then again maybe I wouldn’t. Life had given me lemons and I had wound up squirting myself in the eye……
And so life went on…..
Jackson and I no longer talked to each other, not much of a surprise there really. It was easy to not speak to each other, however we still did have the same classes; so we saw each other. Unlike the first half hour or so of our interaction it was now strained and awkward. Jackson seemed to have found his group to hang with, and I was right back where I started. We were both in the worlds we belonged in.
I thought that maybe he would have been different, but a few days after coming to the school he had gathered a group of people around him. Did it surprise me which group of people it was? Not at all. I mean I had begun to wax poetical about him within the first few minutes of seeing him, so no it didn’t come as a surprise that he had fit into the popular crowd.
And so life goes on and here I am once again…..lonely Queen of the Dweebs.