The Phantom of Barker Mill

by steve higgs

  I had a few hours to kill, but plenty of housework and other mundane tasks to keep me busy. It would be action time soon enough and I was looking forward to a bit of night time sneaking around.

  Junkyard Dog Thursday 14th October 1937hrs

  I collected Jagjit’s car after he finished work. He was good enough to call and let me know it was available. He still lived with his parent’s, or at least had moved back in after a brief and disappointing marriage. Their place was walking distance from my house, so I took the dogs with me and they rode home on the passenger’s seat.

  That was two hours ago. Since then I had dressed in my usual black combat gear, eaten a light meal – nothing heavy in case this evening involved a lot of strenuous activity and had gone to collect Big Ben.

  We had arrived at the breaker’s yard after dark and waited for thirty minutes to allow our night vision to settle before we had used the key Mrs Collins had provided to slip in through the front gate. Once inside I shut the gate behind us and made sure it would not swing open again. I believed there was a large dog here, that it might be dangerous and thus wanted to ensure it did not escape and wreak havoc elsewhere. Big Ben and I had poked around for a minute or so hoping to spot the dog. He was carrying the animal control pole he borrowed from the vet lady. I wanted two, but she only had two and needed to keep hold of one just in case she needed it. Big Ben did not expand on that, but I supposed that a vet might sometimes be brought a feral dog or cat and need to pin it in a safe manner.

  ‘I’m bored with this.’ Big Ben had stated after the first minute of searching the yard. ‘Here pooch! Here poochy, poochy, poochy!’ he called loudly while making little whistle come-to-me noises.

  It had not been the greatest idea as seconds later the world’s largest dog came barking, growling and bounding around the corner ahead of us. It was picking up speed, heading straight for us and did not appear willing to negotiate the terms of its surrender.

  ‘Fuck me rigid!’ Big Ben uttered. Then he turned and ran. At least I am guessing that he then turned and ran because I had already done so, had covered ten metres and was accelerating away from him. It was not going to take the dog long to cover the distance to where we had been and outrunning it held little hope as a strategy. When Big Ben caught up to me a few paces later I yelled ‘Climb!’ and headed for the nearest bank of cars.

  It was a breaker’s yard so there were maybe a thousand or so battered and beaten looking cars piled one atop the other arranged in vaguely neat piles and lines so that it formed a maze of sorts. It probably only seemed like a maze because I had never been inside before and in the daylight, there would in fact be clearly defined and obvious paths through the yard.

  I leapt onto the bonnet of something bright yellow then grasped the front tyre of the car next to and one layer above it and swung myself up onto its bonnet. Not convinced this was high enough yet I went a further level up, scrapping my left arm against something sharp as I did so. Now three cars up and thinking that I was probably out of reach I stopped climbing and turned to see where the dog was. The answer to that question was that it was at the line of cars running parallel to the one I had climbed trying to eat Big Ben.

  ‘Get the fuck off me.’ Big Ben yelled with his usual gusto. The dog tried to snap at his feet as he scrambled a little higher. We locked eyes for a second and he grinned at me. ‘That’s a real dog Tempest, definitely not a ghost, I could feel its breath on my leg when it tried to bite me, and I have slobber on my trousers.’

  ‘That bit was never in doubt. You think we are high enough here?’

  ‘I reckon so.’ Big Ben said. I watched as he wiped his hands on his trousers, probably to remove grease or dirt and keep his grip ready. ‘Where is the steak?’ he called across to me. We were perhaps eight feet apart with the dog circling around beneath Big Ben.

  The almost cartoon like plan was to load a steak up with the drug and hope that the dog ate it. I was not one for using hope as a strategy, so we had brought the animal control pole along as well. I had abandoned the pole while running away like a little girl though. It had seemed unlikely I could climb the cars while holding it anyway so now it was ten metres away laying uselessly on the ground.

  I had a small back pack hooked over my shoulders in which the steak sat in a Tupperware type box with a clip-on lid. The drug was already applied by use of a hypodermic needle to get it right into the meat, so I fished the box out and threw it across to Big Ben.

  He caught it one handed despite the poor light, opened it and as the dog, which was now stood on is hind legs to stretch up for him again took its next lunge he dropped it into its mouth.

  Dogasaurus swallowed the meat almost without acknowledging that it had something it its mouth and never once took its gaze off Big Ben. The vet had assured him the dose would knock out but would not endanger the animal so that we could attach a muzzle, collar, animal control pole etcetera and take it to the local RSPCA centre. Apparently, she had not said how long the anaesthetic would take to knock the animal out though and he had failed to ask.

  The enormous, gently glowing dog circled for a bit, looked at me briefly and then resumed trying to find a way to get to Big Ben.

  ‘Ah, Tempest.’ Big Ben called across the void.

  ‘Yes, mate.’

  ‘My um. My right hand is going numb.’

  I considered that for a second. ‘Did you handle the steak or just tip it out?’

  ‘I grabbed hold of the damned thing. My hand is really going numb.’

  ‘Then let us hope our canine friend here is feeling the same effect.’

  The dog chose that point stop trying to climb the cars under Big Ben. It dropped back down onto all fours, shook its head a few times, like one might if one was feeling a little fuzzy and let out a bark.

  ‘I think we have a result.’ I announced.

  ‘Good because my forearm is numb now and I can’t feel my fingers anymore.’

  The giant dog shook its head once more then wandered away from us, its quarry forgotten. ‘Can you climb down?’ I asked Big Ben.

  ‘It seems only my right arm is affected so I will be fine one handed. If the tiny amount I got on my skin is anything to go by the dog will not get far.’

  ‘Well just in case I’m coming over to give you a hand.’ I said as I swung off the cars and landed neatly on the floor. Two paces across the path between the line of cars and I was underneath Big Ben. I was redundant though as Big Ben swung his legs over the edge of the car he was on and dropped to the ground just as I had.

  As he stood back up he was holding his right arm with his left and looking at his hand. ‘I have a cut on my hand.’ Big Ben said turning his hand over to show me. ‘I must have snagged it on something when I climbed the cars.’

  ‘I did the same. Plenty of sharp items in the dark I guess. Shall we find the dog?’ I was about to set off to see where dogasaurus had got to when it came back around the corner ahead of us.

  ‘Oh bollocks.’ hissed Big Ben and half a breath later we were both running once more.

  We rounded a corner and found ourselves in a dead end. Ahead of us were cars piled high on our left and right... and also right in front of us because we had run into a dead end. I was concerned about the dead bit of that phrase. My pulse hammered out a quick warning, but the problem also presented an opportunity. Beside me Big Ben slowed slightly as he too saw that we had nowhere to go. I grabbed his elbow and pointed to the way out.

  The dog was gaining on us, the steak seemed to have had no effect thus far except to numb Big Ben’s hand. We got to the end of the corridor of cars and had nowhere left to run, we had seconds before the dog would be upon us. So, we did what the dog could not do, we opened the doors of the Volvo estate in front of us and then closed them again. The dog slammed into the car as we slid out the other side. I was tempted to stroll away with as much nonchalance as I could muster but prudence dictated we continue running. We turned another corner and could see the fence that mark
ed the edge of the yard. I got there first, hit the fence to slow myself and ducked down behind the mangled wreck of an old Ford Mondeo

  Big Ben slammed himself into the fence next to me and crouched down to minimise his visibility.

  ‘Do you think we lost it?’ I asked.

  ‘Doubtful.’ he answered. ‘I don’t think hiding works all that well with dogs.’ I had to concede the point.

  ‘Any idea what kind of dog it is? You got a better look at it than me.’

  ‘Some kind of cross between an Anatolian Karabash and a stegosaurus I think. Whatever it is, it is mean and nasty and generally unhappy to see us.’ he replied.

  ‘Did you see it eat the steak? One bite and swallow - just like that. The thing must have a throat my leg would go down without touching the sides.’

  ‘I know a few girls like that.’ A typical Big Ben response.

  ‘I thought you said the steak would knock it out.’

  ‘Tempest, there was enough Propofol on that steak to drop a cow.’ Big Ben and I had gone through the dosage instructions the lady vet had left and had then put it all on anyway.

  ‘I suppose we did put more on than she suggested. Unless she messed up the instructions the dog might actually be something other than a dog.’ I speculated.

  ‘You mean it might actually be a spectral dog? That is what we were sent here to find.’ Big Ben asked being flippant.

  ‘I meant more that it might actually be part stegosaurus, but let’s just give it a minute and see whether it comes looking for us.’ A minute passed by and nothing of interest happened. ‘I’m going to take a peek.’ I said sidling to the edge of the car and peering around it. It was dark in the breaker’s yard and given the nature of the business it was sited well away from houses and streetlighting that may have provided some background light. Now that I was peering further and further around the car I could see something lying on the floor close to the portable cabin that I assumed served as an office. Was it a dog? It was something and it was not moving but I could not see enough in the dim light to tell. I briefly considered getting the torch from my webb belt but knew it would kill my night sight instantly.

  ‘Anything?’ asked Big Ben from right by my ear.

  I elected then to end the silliness of hiding behind cars and stood up. ‘I think that is a dog laying on the floor in front of the cabin.’ I pointed so he could form an opinion also.

  Standing up to join me Big Ben squinted his eyes in the dark and shrugged. ‘It could be. It could be a crumbled cardboard box just as easily.’

  ‘Let’s go find out then.’ With that I set off to investigate. Two seconds and six paces later both Big Ben and I could see that the shape on the floor was indeed a dog. It was laying on the floor with its back to where we had been hiding. Its paws were stretched out perpendicular to its body pointing away from us as we approached while its head was tucked down towards its chest. It did not move as we neared it thankfully, so I knelt to check it was alive.

  Stood over the inert form of the giant, shaggy-haired dog I rubbed my hand over its fur and lifted it up to inspect it. The palm of my hand was now also glowing. I gave my hand a sniff. ‘Luminous liquid.’ I stated. ‘The same stuff they put in glow sticks.’

  ‘Mydery tholved.’ replied Big Ben still holding his arm.

  ‘Mydery tholved? Are you okay?’

  ‘I veel a liddle odd. My dongue hath gone to thleep.’ he replied.

  I stood up concerned and had a look at Big Ben’s eyes. They were difficult to see in the dark, so I grabbed his shoulder and swung him around, so the moon was on his face. He was dribbling slightly. A thought occurred to me ‘Did you lick the wound on your hand?’

  ‘Oh vuck!’ I accepted this as admission of guilt. His hand was bleeding from a cut which was probably where the anaesthetic had entered his blood stream to start with and now he had put the wound to his mouth and gotten more anaesthetic from his skin.

  ‘We had better wrap this up and get you out of here before you keel over. Perhaps you should sit down mate.’ I was not particularly concerned about him, the dose he had given himself could not be that strong. I was more worried about having to deal with the dog/dinosaur by myself. I swung my back pack off and onto the ground in front of me, zipped it open and fished out a large muzzle which Big Ben had also borrowed from the vet.

  I shuffled a pace over on my knees and tried to slip it onto the dog’s snout. I was interrupted in my task by a crashing noise behind me. I did not need to turn around to know what it was. I finished forcing the muzzle onto dogasaurus, secured it with the buckle around the back of its head and felt marginally safer.

  Then I swung myself around on the floor to face back to were Big Ben had been standing. He was, of course, no longer standing. He was flat out on his back and clearly no longer conscious. The anaesthetic was strong stuff. The problem now though was that Big Ben must weigh two hundred and fifty pounds or something around that mark. At six feet seven inches tall and all solid, honed muscle he was significantly bigger than I and as a dead weight was going to be hard to move. I had brought him along on this caper because I expected to have the carry the dog to the car and needed his help. I might be able to drag the dog to the car, but there was no chance I would be able to lift it up to the car’s flat bed.

  I tussled briefly with the best way of tackling this and settled on going to get the car and bringing it to them. If I could not lift either of them perhaps the minor dose that Big Ben had inadvertently administered to himself would wear off soon enough. Otherwise I was going to have to wait it out.

  Standing up, I patted my front right pocket to make the keys were still in there but something moving caught my attention. My heart skipped, and my breath caught as right in front of me, not more than ten feet away was a second giant dog. It was gently glowing like the first one and very much not drugged.

  It grinned at me a big doggy grin. I watched as the muscles in its shoulders bunched, it was going to lunge. Why had I just assumed there was one dog? It had not occurred to me at any point that there might be a second dog. Or were there three or four?

  How ever many there were, I was suddenly in big trouble. The animal control pole was off to my left, Big Ben was unconscious just to my right and the dog could cover the ground in a few bounds. Caught in a hopeless situation the only sensible or logical option that gave me any hope of survival was to leave the dog to go for Big Ben while I grabbed the pole and gave myself the chance to get it under control.

  The dog made its move, bursting into motion off its back feet. Logic went to hell as I threw myself over Big Ben to protect his inert form. He was too easy a target and had no way to defend himself. I had dived on top of him, protecting his head and neck with my own which left them now exposed. Thinking quickly, with maybe half a second before the enormous hound bit me I ran a quick inventory check to see what I could use against it. Would I be able to twist and stab it or beat it once it had its jaws on me? I had no idea, but I felt it arrive above me right then, so I was going to find out!

  Steeling myself for the pain I needed to endure, I physically jumped when the dog licked my ear. Then it nudged my head with its giant nose. The damned thing wasn’t dangerous at all! It was breathing in my ear, big huffing breaths of an excited, playful dog.

  I rolled over, taking myself off Big Ben and there was the dog, staring down at me just a few inches away. It wagged its tail and cocked its head to one side.

  ‘Hey doggy.’ I said in what I hoped was an engaging tone. ‘Would you like to play fetch?’ I patted my webb belt, found nothing of use so scouted around until I found a discarded plastic jerry can. The can was bigger than one of my own dogs but probably about right for dogasaurus here. I shook it a few times to make sure he was watching then threw it and watched as he bounded off into the dark.

  The plan had been to catch the dog as a start point because I had erroneously assumed it was going to be dangerous rather than playful. Revealing the perfectly ordinary and not
even slightly paranormal nature of the dog would have allowed Mrs Collins to return to work and I had planned to then follow the movements of Barry and Malcolm in the belief that they would lead me to the errant Mr Collins. Case solved, fee paid. Super.

  That was still more or less the plan, but I had some time to kill now while I waited for Big Ben to come around. Together we could shift the unconscious dog to the truck, load the other, quite playful dog into the cab and head back to the RSPCA centre where I planned to drop them off until their owner came forward.

  Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait too long but my wait was not ended by Big Ben coming around but by approaching headlights. The long winding lane that led to the yard gave me plenty of notice before the vehicle arrived. I used the time for hiding and setting up a camera. The approaching headlights had nothing else in this direction that they could have been coming to so upon spotting them I had run back to the car to collect a bag from the back seat and to pull the car around the corner where it could not be seen. I dragged Big Ben out of sight behind the cabin but left the unconscious dogasaurus where it lay. The camera had an infrared setting that would pick up everything despite the lack of light. I had bought it when I bought most of my gear back when I made the decision to go into private investigations. I had used it only a couple of times, but it was still a worthwhile investment. I climbed onto the roof of the cabin and positioned the camera at the leading edge so that it would record whomever was approaching. I stayed on the roof to remain hidden myself and because it gave me a good vantage point over most of the yard.

  I settled down to wait. The approaching car turned its headlights off perhaps two hundred metres before it got to the yard. Were they trying to be stealthy? If so, then why?