by TJ Klune
“I really want to blow you right now,” Sandy said, a bit of Helena poking through.
Darren didn’t look like he thought that was the worst idea in the world, much to my dismay. “No blowjobs in our house unless it’s Vince sucking on my dick. In fact, if you want it so bad, you all can leave and Vince can stay home where he belongs.”
“Maybe I should get a cat.” Corey sighed. “I feel like I could make a good cat lady. And I could take up magazine collecting. Or I could grow tomatoes. I’d be good at those things.”
“Vince isn’t staying here,” Sandy said. “It’s tradition that the bride and groom spend the night apart before the wedding and that the best friends get to be together and talk trash about their baes while drinking wine spritzers and wearing cucumber facials.”
“I don’t even know what to do with any of that sentence,” I said.
“Hush your mouth. Tell Vince good-bye while I suck on Darren’s tongue. Corey, go get our bags out of the car please.”
“Sure,” Corey said. “Lord knows I live to help the white man.” But he walked out of the kitchen, whistling for Wheels to follow him.
“We’ll give you guys some privacy,” Sandy said, tugging on Darren’s hand. “But, Paul, I swear to God that if you try and make a run for it, I will hunt you down and drag you back kicking and screaming. Do you understand me?”
“I do what I want.”
Sandy glared at me.
“And by that, I mean I do whatever you tell me to do.”
“That’s better. You have three minutes.” And then they were out of the kitchen.
“You better not blow him in my house!” I shouted after them.
“No promises!”
“Ugh,” I muttered, turning to Vince, who was smiling softly at me. “I don’t know what you’re so happy about. They’re tearing us apart.”
He rolled his eyes as he started toward me. “Nah. Nothing could do that.”
“Ow. My feelings.”
His smile widened as he pressed me against the counter, his big hands on my hips. “I’m pretty good at those.”
“My feelings? Yeah. I guess you are.”
“If you don’t want me to go, I won’t.” He had his earnest face on again. Goddammit.
I shook my head. “It’s okay. I just like bitching. I know how important this is to Sandy.”
“Yeah, but it’s our wedding.”
I snorted. “If you don’t think this is as much for everyone else as it is for us, then baby, I’ve got some bad news for you.”
“We could always elope.”
I stared at him. “Do you know what Sandy would do to me? To you? Vince, there would be no corner on this earth where we could go that he wouldn’t find us. And I for one don’t want to be on the run for the rest of our lives.”
“As long as I’m with you, I don’t care. That’s all I want.”
I groaned. “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you actively trying to make me lose the bet? You bastard.”
And we were both smiling as he leaned in and kissed me and I remember thinking that yeah, as long as I was with him, the rest didn’t matter.
That was all I wanted.
THAT NIGHT, Corey and Sandy curled up with me in our bed. I felt warm and happy and loved. It was good to feel that way.
“You nervous?” Corey asked me as I pulled gently on one of his tight curls, his head in my lap. I was sitting up against the headboard, Sandy lying heavily against my side.
“I don’t… think so? Maybe a little. I’m sure it’ll get worse tomorrow. Right now, I’m just… excited.”
“As you should be,” Sandy said. “It’s going to be the best day ever. I put too much effort in this for it not to be.”
“You ass,” I said fondly. “And even though I still hate you a little for making Vince leave, I’m really glad you’re here. The both of you.”
“I won’t suck on your wiener,” Corey said. “So get that thought out of your head right now.”
“Moment ruined,” I said with a sigh. “Good job.”
“It was getting too sweet for me,” he said. “That’s not us. We’re snarky and bitchy and mean.”
“Eh,” Sandy said. “Maybe, just for one day, we can let that go.”
“Knowing us, tomorrow will just be one big clusterfuck anyway,” I said. “I’m prepared for it.”
“As long as no one dies and nothing lights on fire, we’ll be fine,” Sandy said.
“The fact that those are the guidelines we set really speaks volumes about us as people,” Corey said. “I like us a lot.”
“And we probably need to come to a consensus on how we’re going to act with Daddy’s new man,” I said. “Do we go for intimidating or standoffish?”
“Possibly with a dash of threatening,” Sandy added.
“It is our responsibility to judge him to his face to make sure he’s good enough,” Corey agreed.
“Best day ever,” I said.
“Except for the fact that you still didn’t write your vows,” Sandy said. “I feel like that’s just going to lead to a train wreck that I’ll see coming, but will not want to do anything to stop because I like destruction porn.”
“Eh, winging it still sounds like a good idea. I’ll probably regret it when I’m standing in front of everyone, but that’s Tomorrow Paul’s problem. Today Paul is feeling fine.”
And later, when the others had drifted off to sleep, I was feeling fine. Better than fine, even. I couldn’t wait to marry Vince. I couldn’t wait for us to belong to each other completely.
And like it was a little bit of magic, the moment I started thinking of him, my phone vibrated on the nightstand. I knew who it was, and even though we weren’t supposed to be talking to each other, I figured a moment or two wouldn’t hurt.
Vince: miss u
Me: Me too. Sandy hogs the covers. Corey snores
Vince: lol. u scared?
Me: No
Vince: me either
Me: Okay, a little bit
Vince: ha, same. we got this?
Me: We so got this.
Vince: 2morrow i get to be mr. vince auster
Me: Yeah you do
Vince: can’t wait
Me: Love you
Vince: luv u 2. nite babe
Yeah. It was going to be just fine.
Chapter Seven: Until You
March 26, 2016
“IT’S NOT fine,” I moaned. “None of it is fine. What the hell was I thinking? I’m getting married? Who does that? I’ll tell you who does that. Crazy heterosexuals who forced their ideology of what it means to be happy upon the gays. I don’t even know if I believe in the institution of marriage.”
“Oh boy,” Sandy said. “I thought this was going to happen.”
“Because he was far too calm yesterday?” Corey asked.
Sandy nodded. “Good. You’re learning. Anytime Paul is calm the day before a major event usually means that the day of, he’ll flame out in an explosion of drama and diva-like behavior.”
“But he really hasn’t acted like a diva yet—”
“Why the hell have you not put my cufflinks on like I told you to do five minutes ago?” I snarled at Sandy. “Are you useless? Is that what you’re trying to tell me? Because if that’s what you’re trying to tell me, surprise! I already know.”
“Whoa,” Corey breathed. “That was so cool. It’s my turn! Do me. Tell me how I’m lacking!”
I whirled on Corey, wiping spittle from my lips. “You. You’re the reason we’re here at all.”
“Um. What?”
“You moved back to Tucson, and then months later, Vince proposes. This whole thing is your fault.”
“Huh,” Corey said. “I never thought about it that way. I’ll accept it. I feel good about myself. You’re welcome.”
It took all I had not to reach out and strangle him.
We were at the horse farm (and why, why did I agree to ever allow my wedding to happen at a goddamn h
orse farm?), the ceremony less than twenty minutes away. I was already in my suit, which was gray, with a white button-up dress shirt. The tie was violet, with a matching pocket square. Vince’s suit was supposed to match, except apparently he’d chosen to go with a bow tie, which I cursed him for, because Vince Taylor wearing a bow tie was my greatest weakness. And he knew that, the asshole.
Corey and Sandy were dressed similarly. They didn’t have suit jackets, but instead wore gray-and-black checkered vests over white dress shirts, the buttons opened at the collar, and gray slacks. They looked cool and calm and collected, and I was sweating and sure I was about to hyperventilate my way into a heart attack.
“We should run,” I decided. “Just make a break for it. We still have those costumes the time we went to spy on Darren and his not-date, right? I can live the rest of my life in the Ozarks as Agnes Beaverton. I have no problem with that.”
“We’re not running,” Sandy said, approaching me cautiously. “You don’t really want to do that.”
“Of course I don’t,” I scoffed. “Why would you even say something like that?”
Corey cocked his head at me. “But you just said—oh yeah, that look you’re giving me is terrifying. I agree with whatever you say because you’re right about everything.”
“Damn right I am,” I muttered as Sandy started fiddling with the cufflinks, snapping one into place and then the other. “Maybe I should just see Vince before. You know? Just for a minute.”
“You’ll see him soon enough,” Sandy said.
And I heard everything he wasn’t saying. “He’s already gone, isn’t he?”
“What.”
“Did he run?” I wheezed. “Did he do that terrible impression he does of Julia Roberts and flee from this place?”
“What the fuck,” Corey said faintly.
“Paul,” Sandy said firmly. “I will slap the shit out of you if you need me to.”
“He’s probably halfway across the state by now, already changing his name and—”
Sandy slapped me.
I gaped at him, bringing my hand to my cheek. “What the hell is wrong with you!”
“You act like a bitch, I’m gonna treat you like my bitch,” he growled.
“Whoa,” Corey said. “Why do you guys always give me weird boners?”
“Now you listen here,” Sandy said, shoulders set, jaw tense. “Vince isn’t going anywhere except to stand in front of our friends and family to tell everyone how much he loves you. You’re not going anywhere but to do the same. Except your vows are going to be a little more awkward because of the winging-it thing you’re doing that I can’t wait to hear because it’s going to be hilariously awkward. But that man loves you. You love him. That’s the only thing that matters. I guarantee you that he’s not freaking out over there—”
Darren burst in through the door to the dressing room we stood in, phone to his ear. He looked handsome in his suit, the sleeves of his dress shirt looking like they were ready to burst due to his bulk. His eyes darted around the room until they landed on me. “He’s standing right here,” he said into the phone, sounding annoyed. “I told you he wasn’t going to leave. You really need to calm—don’t yell at me, Vince, or I’m going to come back there and kick your ass.” Darren covered up the phone with a hand. “Vince is freaking out.” Then he left the room, slamming the door behind him.
“Well,” Sandy said. “Obviously you two deserve each other. That’s just sickening.”
“This might be the most adorable moment of my life,” Corey said. “And that makes me really sad.”
There was a knock at the door before it opened again. In came Mom and Dad and Nana, all of them smiling widely. Mom’s smile faltered a little bit when she saw me wringing my hands viciously, probably looking like I was on the verge of a panic attack. She pushed past my father and rushed over to me.
“Hey,” she said warmly, reaching up to cup my face. Her hands were cool against my heated skin. “You okay? You look… not well.”
“I’m just… I don’t…. Mom. I’m scared and I don’t know why.”
“Of course you are,” she said. “I would be worried if you weren’t. It’s a big day. Anybody would be. But you know what I think?”
“What?”
“That while you’re scared, there is a bigger part of you that knows this is what you want, more than anything else. That Vince is what you want. You may think you have doubts, but sweetheart, doubts are not the same as fears. You can be scared, but so long as you believe in him, in what you two have, then everything will be just fine.”
I deflated against her, and she wrapped her arms around my neck while I laid my forehead against her shoulder. “Thanks, Mom,” I mumbled.
“Anytime,” she whispered. “And if it makes you feel better, I just came from telling Vince the same thing while he was on the phone with Darren, sending him over to check. He’s scared too, but there is nothing he wants more than you. And for what it’s worth, he looks good. If I was twenty years younger and not married to your father—hell, even if I wasn’t twenty years younger—I’d be tempted to take that out for a test drive.”
“Oh God,” I groaned. “Why would you say that?”
“I’d probably do the same,” Dad said, coming up beside us and squeezing my shoulder.
“You guys are the absolute worst.”
“We love you too,” Mom said. “Now, I just wanted to see you… before.” She pulled away from the hug, running her hands across my chest, fiddling with my tie. I saw the way her bottom lip was quivering, and I had to look away before I got choked up. “Just to say how proud I am of you.” She sniffled and then laughed wetly. “If you had told me the day I was pushing you out that I’d be this happy, I would have believed you, because even then, even when you were taking your time in my vagina, I knew you were going to be something special.”
“I love you,” I said seriously, “but that was the grossest thing you’ve ever said to me. Mom. What the hell.”
A tear trickled down her cheek. “I’m allowed to say what I want. My son’s getting married to my other son.”
“Still need to work on that phrasing,” Dad said lightly.
“That’s what I tell my friends at the bridge club,” Nana said. “And I don’t bother to correct their assumptions. It’s hysterical. They think we’re all inbred.”
“Now that that’s all squared away,” Sandy said, “Matty, you need to go back over with Vince since he’s walking first. Corey, Nana, and I need to get up to the front so everyone can stare and see how good we all look.”
“Represent,” Nana said.
Mom hugged me again, cooing that I would always be her baby boy even as she wiped her eyes. Corey and Nana kissed my cheek. Sandy held on for a long time before leaving without saying another word.
Then it was just me and my father.
“You trust me?” Dad asked, taking my hand in his and bumping his shoulder against mine.
“Yeah,” I said. “Always.”
“And you know that being a parent means that I will always want what’s best for you.”
“I know.”
“Then you can trust me when I say that Vince is what’s best for you,” he said, squeezing my hand. “I’m just going to say one thing, and then we’ll go. I figure it’s my duty as your dad.”
I nodded, unsure of where this was going.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Being a dad is… the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, next to your mother. The day you were born, I promised you that I would do anything within my power to make sure you were the happiest little boy that ever lived. All I wanted for you was to know what love was, to know that you were loved, and to teach you how to love others. And you did. You had us. And then one day you had Sandy. And Corey. And it was good. For a long time, it was good. But then it changed into something more. And I knew it for what it was. Do you remember that day when your mother and I found you and Vince on your first da
te downtown?”
“Yeah,” I said hoarsely. “You said he was my Dom.”
“Well, you were sitting on his lap and he did seem awfully possessive of you. I’m still not convinced you’re not a horse or whatever it is—”
“Dad.”
“Right. But I saw it, Paul. Even then. You were happy before. Mostly. But I still thought maybe sometimes you were sad. And I didn’t want you to be sad. As a parent, it’s one of the worst things when your kid is sad and you don’t know how to fix it. And then Vince came and it was….” He let out a shuddering breath. “It was good because he did what I couldn’t do. I could do my best to build your happiness as your dad, but Vince was able to come in and complete it. And that’s all I could have ever asked for. I am so proud of you, Paul. For everything that you are. And I know that you’re in good hands. Vince belongs to us just as much as you do. And I thank God every day you found each other.”
I hugged my father then. For a long time. He held me tightly and it was good. It was so, so good.
And then his phone beeped.
We pulled apart. He pulled his phone out, glancing down at the screen. “Okay,” he said cheerfully. “That’s our cue. You ready?”
And I said the only thing I could.
“Let’s rock and roll.”
I DIDN’T pay attention to much else after I saw him waiting for me.
My dad’s arm was through mine, and we walked down the stairs. I remember that. Music was playing. The crowd was murmuring. I saw familiar faces. I felt the warmth of Dad at my side. The sun was setting. There were birds singing in the palm trees.
But it all fell away when I saw him.
And after that, I only had eyes for Vincent Melody Taylor.
He was handsome in his suit and bow tie, like I knew he’d be. That was never in question. What I didn’t expect, after all of this, was the sheer relief I felt at the sight of him. Deep inside, I knew he’d be there, waiting for me, but the sight of him actually there was the confirmation I needed. This was right. Everything about this was right.
He was distracted by something. What, I didn’t know. But it wasn’t until Darren leaned in and murmured in his ear that his head jerked up and he saw me.