Worth the Weight

by Eileen Palma

  “Shit. I don’t want to go.” Jack dropped the folded tablecloth on the floor and grabbed Kate. As soon as his mouth touched hers, Jack wanted to rip her clothes back off again. He figured Matt could wait another few minutes, or ten or twenty, couldn’t he?

  Kate pulled away first, the reluctance written all over her face. “You better go. Call me later.” She waved her hands around the room. “I’ll take care of all this.”

  The skies had opened up, one of those quick volatile storms that resolved just as quickly as it started. The Hudson River was still rippled with angry waves, and the harbored boats were pockmarked with bubbles of water on the wax-coated varnish. All Jack could think about on the five-block walk to Matt’s was Kate and what he would’ve done to her if they hadn’t been interrupted.

  Jack used his key when Matt didn’t answer the door right away. As soon as he walked in, it hit him that he hadn’t been back since Anne had first left. Sun broke through the clouds and streamed in through the uncovered windows, illuminating the shinier space on the floor where the couch had once sat. The only piece of furniture left in the living room was the battered leather armchair Matt and Jack had rescued off the corner of Ninth and 23rd Street when Matt had first moved in. The chair had always been a bone of contention between Anne and Matt, so Jack wasn’t surprised that Anne had left it behind.

  Matt walked into the bare living room in a dry tee-shirt and gray cargo pants, vigorously rubbing a towel through his water darkened hair.

  “Hey man. How you holding up?”

  “I feel like I’m having one of those weird dreams where you know you’re dreaming but you can’t wake yourself up. I am really awake, right?”

  Jack punched Matt in the arm.

  “Dude! What the fuck?”

  “You’re awake.”

  “Bastard.” Matt lunged for Jack, but Jack was too quick for him.

  “This whole thing is crazy. You guys were trying for two years with no luck. Then one round of break up sex and Anne’s pregnant.”

  “It wasn’t really once. It was more like…” started Matt.

  “I really don’t need the details.”

  “I just don’t get why it never worked before. I had sex with her every time that damn pee stick said she was ovulating.” Matt plopped down in his chair and opened the mini black fridge left over from his time in the dorms. He pulled out two Heinekens and handed one to Jack.

  “Remember that God awful fertility tea she bought from that quack in Chinatown? That shit smelled like dirty socks.”

  “You don’t want to know what it tasted like.” Matt shuddered.

  “What about the book Anne got with all those poses that were supposed to help get her pregnant? I made a mental note not to try any of those.”

  “She got that book in the beginning, when it was all still good.”

  “It was great for a long time with you guys. Anne just lost her shit when she couldn’t get pregnant.”

  “I knew we were in trouble when she started buying pregnancy tests at Costco. There would be four or five negative test strips lined up on the counter when I came home from work.”

  “Do you think she had sex with you to try one last time for a baby?”

  “Hell no. It wasn’t that premeditated. Trust me. I haven’t seen pubes like that since the last time I checked out my collection of ‘80s Playboys.”

  “Way too much information, man.”

  “She wants to raise the baby alone.” The remnants of Matt’s smile dimmed.

  “What do you want?” asked Jack, before taking a long pull of his beer.

  “Anne. The baby. All of it. I just need to prove to her that she should take me back. And that’s not going to happen if we fuck up this new line and sink the business.”

  “Who said anything about sinking the business?”

  “Says the guy who’s been dragging his feet and whining like a pussy in between his sexcapades with the Ann Coulter of childhood obesity.”

  “My questioning the new line has nothing to do with Kate.”

  “But it has everything to do with Anne and the baby. She thinks I’ve been a drunk fuck up since she left.”

  “You kinda have been.”

  “Asshole! I got my shit together and nothing’s gonna prove that to Anne like some kickass numbers with the new line.” Matt’s hoarse voice was laced with desperation.

  Jack brought his beer down to the dusty floor and sat down on his haunches. “The new line’s solid. I’m in.”

  “Fuck yeah!” Matt shouted in a voice left over from his high school football days.

  “We need to meet with the marketing team to make sure we go at this the right way.” Jack took a long sip of beer. “I still have my concerns about the company’s image.”

  “Whatever. Let me handle that. I need you to focus all of your energy on getting those designs done.”

  “The damn undercarriage keeps tripping me up. We need to use more metal this time around to support all the extra weight.”

  “You’ll figure it out. You always do.” Matt finished his last drop of beer and grabbed two more from the fridge. “Now that we got that straightened out, can you tell me what the fuck’s going on with you and the fem-bot?”

  “I don’t know man. It just happened.” Jack shook his head, thinking back to that day at the dog park. It was all over the minute he saw Kate. “And stop calling her that.”

  “I have a few other choice names for her. She-Devil, Anti-Christ, Skinny Bitch…”

  “If only you were this creative with stroller names.”

  “How does it just happen with a bitch who’s been bad mouthing our company to anyone who will listen? You know it just wasn’t Straight Talk right? She’s been on Twitter too saying all sorts of crap.”

  “She’s cool as shit when she’s not talking about strollers.”

  “Clearly she still doesn’t know who you are. What the fuck does Kate Richards think you do for a living?”

  “I told her I freelance for dot coms.”

  “The dot com bubble burst over a decade ago. She must be a total moron!”

  “She had no reason to think I would lie to her. That doesn’t make her stupid. It makes me a douchebag.” Jack finished off his beer and cracked open the second one Matt had put in front of him.

  “I just don’t get it.” Matt shook his head. “She’s declared all out warfare on our company. What are you thinking?”

  “I haven’t felt this way about anyone since Stephanie Riggins. You know the one…”

  “How could I forget the med student who got away? We’re fucked.”

  “Tell me about it. I’ve gotten myself in deeper and deeper and as soon as she finds out I lied to her it’s all over.”

  “You shouldn’t have slept with her. Trust me, I never thought that would be coming out of my mouth. But she’s going to be ripshit when she finds out you lied about who you were and slept with her.”

  “You don’t have to tell me that. What the fuck do I do now?”

  Matt stood up with a loud groan and stretched. He rolled a basketball out from under the couch and started rapid fire dribbling back and forth across the hard wood floor. He made it to the window and back four times before the downstairs neighbor thumped the ceiling with what sounded like a baseball bat.

  “Those assholes from downstairs never leave the apartment! I can’t take a shit without them complaining.”

  “I’m fucked. I’m totally fucked.” Jack polished off the last sip of beer and let out a loud burp.

  “Don’t tell her who you are just yet. The more attached she gets, the harder it’ll be for her to leave your ass when she finds out what a lying bastard you are.”

  “The hardest thing for a control freak to do is let go.”

  Kate Richards, Sportif! Magazine

  Chapter Sixteen

  “I just walked past the dog park and thought of you.”

&nb
sp; Kate could hear speeding cars on the West Side Highway competing with Jack’s voice.

  “Why Jack, you know all the right things to say to a woman.”

  “I have two words you’re really going to love then.” Jack was quiet for a minute. “Notice the dramatic pause there.”

  “All right. You piqued my curiosity.”

  “Sleep. Over.”

  “I think that’s only one word. And I can’t tonight. I’m scared I won’t have this article done in time.”

  “Lauren’s sleeping over at Madison’s this Saturday night. Which means she’ll be at practice all day Saturday and gone for the night.”

  “So does that mean we can go on an actual date?” As much as Kate liked Lauren, it would be nice to get some alone time with Jack. Especially because they needed to finish what they started at the ballet studio the other night.

  “Yes. Maybe we can get really kinky and actually try the bed out.”

  Kate laughed. “You really do know all the right things to say.”

  “You better spend the rest of this week getting that article done so you can relax with me on Saturday.”

  “I plan on it. What are we going to do?”

  “I have it all planned out. Wear workout clothes.”

  “Hmm. Are we going for a run together?”

  “No.”

  “Barry’s Bootcamp in Central Park?”

  “No.”

  “Soul Cycle?”

  “Hasn’t a guy ever surprised you before?”

  “I don’t like surprises.”

  “You’ll love this one. Trust me.”

  Kate spent the rest of the week finishing the article, reading it over and rewriting it. She was up all Thursday night revising it and finally submitted it Friday morning right before filming. Jack was busy working on a big job all week so he didn’t have time to hang out either. They were relegated to texts, emails and phone conversations where neither one of them wanted to be the one to hang up first.

  Kate woke up on Saturday morning dying to know what kind of date required workout clothes. She took a long hot shower and tried to let go of all the stress of the week. She was really looking forward to spending the night with Jack without any interruptions.

  Kate pulled on her black Capri length running pants and a teal sleeveless workout top. She grabbed her black zip up hoodie and was ready to go.

  Jack was waiting in the white leather chair by the front desk. He was wearing a fitted blue long sleeved workout shirt with long black spandex running pants and sneakers. He layered a gray tee-shirt over the workout ensemble. The tee-shirt had a big round Buddha in the middle with the caption I Have the Body of a God.

  “Whoa. You really look like you’re ready for a hard core workout.”

  “You’re not the only one around here who owns actual exercise clothes.”

  “You’re starting to freak me out a little here. Please tell me we’re not going on one of those sixty-mile bike rides. The one thing I really can’t do is ride a bike.”

  “The queen of fitness never learned to ride a bike?”

  “My dad pawned our bikes to pay off a bookie.”

  “We’re not riding bikes today. But I promise to teach you another day.”

  “That’s okay. I’m perfectly happy doing activities that keep my feet on the ground.”

  “Then you might be a little disappointed with what I planned. Oh, and you really should pull your hair back.”

  Kate pulled the rubber band off her wrist off and pulled all her damp curls into a long ponytail.

  “Follow me.” Jack led Kate out the lobby and headed west towards the Hudson River.

  “I knew we were doing something at Chelsea Piers. I’m just hoping it’s not golf because I suck at golf.”

  “You couldn’t be further off than golf.” Jack chuckled. “And we’re not going to Chelsea Piers. I spend enough time at that place already.”

  They walked along the Chelsea Piers complex, past the field house, bowling alley and golf range and continued walking downtown along the Hudson River. Kate stopped worrying about where they were going and just enjoyed the quiet comfort of walking with Jack.

  Jack finally stopped in front of the ladders that climbed high above the city skyline where wooden trapezes hung from ropes, waiting for someone bold enough to come along and swing from them.

  “Are you serious?”

  “I bet no other man has ever taken you on a date at The New York City Trapeze School.” Jack’s dimple appeared as his mouth stretched into a wide smile. He looked so proud of himself that Kate tried her best to ignore the thumping in her chest.

  “You are so right about that.” Kate rubbed her hands together to get rid of that pins and needles feeling that always came when she was absolutely panic-stricken.

  “It’s exhilarating to get up there above everything.”

  “Wait. You’ve done this before?” The more Kate learned about Jack, the more she realized just how much she didn’t know about this man.

  “I took Lauren here for her birthday as a surprise. I figured I would just pay for her lesson and watch. But she begged me to try it with her.”

  “Just out of curiosity—what do you love about swinging in the air hundreds of feet above everything?”

  “You’ll have to try it to see for yourself. Trust me.” Jack held on to Kate’s hand and walked her to the entrance to the trapeze school.

  Kate spent the next hour learning how to work her safety harness, how to hold onto the trapeze the right way and how to position her body. She was so busy learning how to use the trapeze that she didn’t have too much time to be nervous.

  After passing her safety test, Kate stood at the bottom of the ladder. Jack grabbed both of her hands. “Listen to me. You know you’re physically strong enough to do this. You also have a safety harness and a net to catch you. You are not going to get hurt. This is really about just letting go.”

  “If anything happens to me, you better take care of Sarah Jessica Barker for me.” Kate dropped Jack’s hands and took the first step up the ladder. The wind pushed against her as she made her way up the narrow rungs. The higher she went; the smaller Jack looked below.

  Gwen, a blond instructor with a pixie cut, was waiting for her at the top. She reminded Kate of Peter Pan, especially when she did a few demonstration swings to show Kate what to do. “You ready?”

  “Yes. No. Wait a minute.” Kate stood on the small wooden platform and looked out over the West Side Highway. She breathed in and felt the wind wrap around her. She closed her eyes and calmed her breathing down.

  “Come on, Kate! You can do it!” Jack looked absolutely tiny from where he yelled below.

  Gwen handed Kate the trapeze, and the wood felt hard and cold in her hand. “Remember to thrust your hips out and kick your feet forward.”

  Kate stepped off the platform and felt the wind rush at her face as she flew. Survivor instincts kicked in and she pointed her toes and thrust her hips out so that the momentum would swing her all the way to the other end of the net. Then, all at once she was rushing back to where she started, her body resisting the air around her. Kate felt a rush as she pushed herself back to the other side and threw her feet up and tucked them under the bar. Kate wrapped her legs around the trapeze and hung from it like a little kid on the monkey bars. She felt a rush of exhilaration as she swung back and forth high above the city.

  “Let go, Kate! Let go!” Jack yelled from hundreds of feet below.

  Kate let go of the bar and swung with her hands hanging down towards the net. She swung back again, suspended in the air. When the momentum started to die down she pulled her hands back on the bar and flipped off, landing on the net with her feet. The net dipped low to the ground as she landed then swung her back up.

  “You did amazing!” Jack helped pull Kate back to the ground.

  “That was the most unbelievable thing I’ve ever done!” Kate felt the
endorphins rush through her like the time she had run the New York marathon. She felt all the stress rush out of her body at once.

  “Get back up there and do it again!” Jack cheered on Kate as she went back up on the trapeze again and again until her arms were practically numb. Each time she got a bigger thrill out of it than the time before. “Okay, I’m finally done hogging the trapeze. It’s your turn.” Kate pushed Jack towards the ladder.

  Kate watched as Jack climbed up the ladder with no obvious trepidation. He got on the platform and stood there for a second before grabbing the trapeze. He propelled himself forward, his legs together and toes pointed, then shot backward much faster than Kate had felt like she had gone. His legs wrapped over the bar and instantly he was hanging upside down.

  Kate looked toward the other platform and realized Gwen had already climbed up while Jack was swinging. She jumped off the platform and swung toward Jack. Kate covered her eyes and peeked through her fingers, scared that they would crash into each other. But Gwen just soared right back towards Jack’s platform. Synchronized, they both flew towards each other and Gwen moved her knees on the trapeze so her arms were suspended like Jack’s. They both soared back towards their own platforms—mirror images of each other—then, they flew back together.

  Jack reached over and grabbed Gwen’s hands as she leapt off her trapeze. Jack held on tight as Gwen flew with him, as if they were one body. Then Gwen tucked her knees in tight and did a back tuck off the bar. Jack was all alone now swinging back and forth. He let go of the bar and did a double back flip off it. He bounced and landed on his butt before pulling himself off the net.

  “So, you’ve only done this like once or twice?” Kate asked as soon as Jack was back in her altitude.

  “Give or take a few times.” There went that lopsided grin again.

  “What? Why didn’t you tell me?” asked Kate.

  “I wanted you to feel relaxed. You and I are going to do that now.”

  “What?” There went that pounding in Kate’s chest again.