Her Twins' Cowboy Dad

by Patricia Johns

  “No?” She leaned her cheek against his shoulder. Because she was.

  “It was honest,” he murmured.

  It had been, and as she watched her little girls sleeping on the blanket in the dappled sunlight, she wished this moment could stretch out forever. It was so simple, so honest. It filled her heart in the most dangerous of ways, because it made her hope for things she knew better than to hope for... She was no naive girl anymore. She’d been through this, and she had two little children who needed her.

  The only problem was that no matter how sweet and tender this moment was, it had no future, and a moment was all they had.

  Chapter Twelve

  That evening when Jane tucked Micha and Suzie into bed, there was no fuss—the girls were exhausted from both the ride out to the tree house and by the playing they did once they got back. There was something about that clean country air that seemed to do all of them good.

  The toddlers curled up under the sheet and fell asleep almost immediately. Jane lay on the bed next to them for a couple of minutes while their breathing slowed, looking at those sweet little faces.

  Jane had been trying not to think about that kiss, shoving it out of her mind and replacing it with work and forced smiles. But the truth of the matter was, she’d started it. She hadn’t meant to start a kiss quite like that one, but she had been intending to kiss his cheek. Still not exactly appropriate.

  But the memory of his strong hand cradling her cheek, his lips covering hers... She still got goose bumps. He was so strong and at the same time so gentle. She couldn’t even blame him, and she halfway wished she could. Because that would be easier—pass the blame along and stop herself from feeling quite so responsible.

  “What was I even thinking?” she murmured to herself as she got off the bed and stood up.

  After they’d gotten back to the ranch, they hadn’t spoken of it. Colt went back to work, and she did some cleaning out of another couple of bookshelves with Peg. Then there was dinner, when Colt came back, and idle chitchat about that stretch of land, the value of it and whether or not Colt would regret the sale. Mostly that conversation had been between Colt and Peg, and Jane had simply tended to her daughters.

  That sale wasn’t her business. This ranch wasn’t her business. Most of all, kissing Colt hadn’t been her business! And nothing she could do right now could make up for that kiss out there by the trees.

  Lord, I’m sorry, she prayed, closing the bedroom door softly behind her. Am I that lonely?

  And maybe she was. It had been three years since Josh’s death, and even during their marriage she’d been lonesome. She’d turned to God, then, and let Him be her rock. So what was she doing now?

  Jane ambled down the hallway toward the kitchen. She’d get a cup of tea or something, she thought. But as she stopped at the doorway, she spotted Colt at the sink. He started the water, then put in a squirt of dish liquid.

  She paused there, watching him as he reached for a pile of plates and lowered them into the sink.

  “You gonna just stand there?” he said, and Jane startled.

  “I didn’t know you heard me,” she admitted.

  He glanced over his shoulder and smiled regretfully. “I’ve made it weird between us, haven’t I?”

  “It was me—” She sighed. There was going to be no escaping this. She grabbed a dish towel off the handle of the stove and met him at the sink. “Look, I was as big a part of that kiss as you were, Colt. I’m not blaming you. If anything, it was my fault.”

  “So let’s not place blame, then,” he said. “We’re both adults. We’re obviously attracted to each other.”

  She didn’t say anything to that, because there was no denying it. They’d been drawn to each other the last few days, and the end result had been an unforgettable kiss.

  “So what did you think of the tree house?” he asked, changing the subject.

  They’d gone to look at it after the girls had woken up. Colt had carried Micha on his shoulders, and Jane had held Suzie on her hip. They’d looked up at it from the ground, walked around the base of the tree. It wouldn’t have been safe to go up with the toddlers, so she made do on the ground. She could imagine a young Josh up there, hammering away or just looking wistfully out into the forest... He’d always gotten such a wistful, sad look on his face when he thought she wasn’t looking. Maybe it had started young.

  “It’s pretty impressive,” she admitted. “Even now.”

  “Yeah, I think so, too.” He pulled a clean plate from the sink. He rinsed it under some water, then handed it over. “It was nice to remember the old days when everything was uncomplicated.”

  Jane accepted the plate, then sighed. “I want my girls to have that—those uncomplicated years where a summer seems to last forever and life is easy. I mean, you never think it is when you’re that age, but looking back...”

  “They’ll have it,” Colt said. “You’ll make sure of it.”

  “Yeah.”

  “And if you need anything, you’ll tell me,” he added.

  “No, I wouldn’t do that,” she said quickly. “I can figure it out. Besides, with the money from the cattle, I’ll be able to provide.”

  “I meant, if you need moral support,” he said. “It won’t be easy raising them on your own. Might be nice to have someone you can vent to.”

  “You’re a busy man,” she said.

  Colt stopped washing and turned toward her. “Look, if you don’t want my friendship, it’s okay. But I want you to know that if you ever feel overwhelmed, or just kind of lonely—”

  “Loneliness seems to be my problem lately,” she said, cutting him off. “And it’s made me do some stupid things.”

  “I thought we weren’t placing blame.” Those dark eyes met hers.

  “We aren’t,” she said softly. “But we need to be more careful.”

  “I agree with that,” Colt said, turning back to the washing. He rinsed another plate and put it into the sink. “I said before I wasn’t sorry about it, but with a few hours to kick myself, well, I do regret it.”

  That was a relief. She couldn’t be the only one to feel bad, because that kiss had been too sweet, too honest. She’d wanted that kiss, and she couldn’t trust herself to turn down another one.

  “I think we need to take a little bit of space from each other,” she said.

  “Space.” His tone was hollow, and she couldn’t tell what he meant by repeating the word.

  “It might make it easier to get things onto a more even footing,” she said.

  “Jane, I don’t know what you’re worried about, but I’m not the kind of guy who would push himself on you. I’m sorry I kissed you. I shouldn’t have. But you don’t have to worry about me taking advantage, or—”

  “It’s not you I’m worried about,” she said quickly. “It’s me. I liked it. More than I should have. And apparently, I’m more vulnerable right now than I thought. Trust me, Colt. I know you’re a good man, and I’m not afraid of you or anything. I don’t trust myself right now.”

  “Oh,” he said quietly.

  Just like she seemed to do with this man lately, she’d said too much. She felt the heat come to her cheeks again, and she inwardly grimaced. She didn’t need to tell him that. She could keep some dignity, at least! She dried another couple of plates, stacking them on the counter next to her.

  “Hey, it’s me, too,” he said after a moment of silence. “I’m just as attracted to you. You’re gorgeous, and you don’t seem to know just how beautiful you are. It makes you...even more beautiful. But it isn’t just your looks, Jane. You’re sweet, wise, understanding... You’re a beautiful person, not just a beautiful woman, and apparently, that’s my weakness. Go figure. I’ve never stumbled across anyone just like you before. So, yeah. I get it. I’m attracted, too.”

  She glanced up at him from the corner of
her eye and caught him looking at her.

  “I’m not sure that helps,” she said feebly.

  “Oh. Well, the point I was trying to make was that you shouldn’t feel stupid or anything. I’m there, too. You’re not alone. And we both know what we can give—there’s no confusion there.”

  “No, there isn’t,” she agreed, and a wave of sadness swept through her. Whatever she was feeling here had no future. She needed to quash it now, before she got hurt. Except it might be too late for that. Driving away from this ranch was going to be difficult.

  “I mean, this much cowboy... I get that I’m hard to resist.” He grinned.

  Jane laughed and smacked his muscular arm. “I’ll find a way, I’m sure.”

  They both chuckled and Jane reached for another plate. They worked in silence together for a few minutes, their movements synchronized.

  “I’m sorry that you have to sell that land because of me,” she said as Colt washed the last dish.

  “Don’t be,” he said. “That land means something to me, but it’s in the past. Josh wasn’t coming home again. I know that. Some mistakes have permanent consequences.”

  Some mistakes, like allowing herself to get emotionally involved with her late husband’s cousin. She didn’t want to ruin this friendship that had been developing. She needed a person in this family she could trust, who she could feel comfortable around when she brought her girls back to meet family from time to time.

  Jane needed some calm, some stability and no more emotional burdens.

  They’d shared a very mutual kiss, but if they were careful, they could put it behind them.

  * * *

  The next morning, Colt didn’t come back to the house for breakfast. He texted his aunt that he’d be eating in the canteen so that she wouldn’t waste her energy cooking up something big for him. But he was avoiding Jane. He could pretend that it wasn’t that big of a deal, but the truth was, he hadn’t kissed a woman in a few years, and that kiss had meant something to him.

  It shouldn’t. He knew all the reasons why it would never work. She was Josh’s wife... She was looking for stability for those girls, not the mess that was left behind with Beau’s death. And no matter what he was feeling for her—emotions he didn’t dare name—he was supposed to be the strong one. Jane had been through the wringer already with a difficult marriage, losing Josh, raising twins on her own. Colt hadn’t been rattled around as much as she had. He’d been actively avoiding that wringer, but with her, all those walls and defenses he’d built up over the years seemed to crumble.

  Midmorning, Colt got a call from the lawyer saying that the paperwork was ready that put the land into his name, and the cattle into Jane’s. He’d also drawn up the sales agreement for Colt to buy back the cattle at a fair price. All they had to do was sign it, and he’d owe Jane some cash. This should be good news—getting some red tape out of the way so he could talk to the bank about a loan...or sell that strip of forest. His chest ached at the thought of their time together coming to an end, and he rubbed the heel of his hand over the spot.

  This had been the plan all along, and Jane was only here to speed up the process. Colt was owner now, and he could finally take the reins.

  Colt dialed Jane’s number and waited until she picked up.

  “Hello?” she said.

  “It’s Colt,” he said. “I just heard from Mr. Davis.”

  “Me, too,” she said. “It looks like the paperwork is ready for us.”

  “Looks like,” he said gruffly. “Maybe we could head down there this afternoon together.”

  “Thanks. That would be great.” There was a pause. “A Mr. Armson came by. He’s chatting with Peg right now in the kitchen. He wanted to see you.”

  The sale. Right.

  “I’ll come on up,” Colt said. “Tell him to wait for me, if he can.”

  “Okay. See you soon, Colt.” And her voice softened just a little when she said his name.

  A few minutes later, Colt parked his truck by the house, right next to the big white Ford F-250 that his neighbor drove. It was shiny and new, a direct contrast to Colt’s beaten-up old pickup truck. Bruce’s ranch was doing better than this one—better management, maybe? That thought stung.

  Jane was outside under the shade of the big tree, the girls digging in the dirt with what looked like kitchen spoons. She smiled and raised one hand in a hello.

  “Hi,” he said.

  “Hi.” She hooked a thumb toward the house. “He’s waiting on you.”

  “Yeah, I know,” he replied. “You looking forward to getting that paperwork out of the way?”

  “Sure. Yeah. Sure.” Her smile fell. “I’m going to miss you, Colt.”

  He nodded curtly a couple of times. “Me, too. But this isn’t going to be instantaneous. I have to sell that land, get the money from Bruce, and then I can pay you. So even if you head on out, you’ll hear from me again, at the very least.”

  “That’s true.” She smiled, then spotted a toddler taking off. “Suzie!”

  Colt grinned as she jogged after Suzie, who was worming under the fence. Colt felt better somehow, just for the short chat with her. But he didn’t have time to really think that over. Duty called. He headed in the side door, letting the screen slam shut behind him. Bruce sat at the table, a mug of coffee in front of him, and Peg stood by the counter, arms crossed over her chest.

  “Hey, Bruce,” Colt said, and Bruce rose slightly as they both shook hands. “Good to see you.”

  “Good to see you, too,” the older man said. “I was just chatting with Peg here. Been too long since we caught up.”

  Colt smiled and nodded, then looked over at his aunt.

  “That’s my cue to leave,” Peg said. “We’ll chat later.”

  After Peg left the kitchen, Colt pulled out the chair opposite his guest and took a seat.

  “So you’re here about the land?” Colt asked.

  “I don’t want to put on pressure during a difficult time, Colt,” Bruce replied. “But I’ve got a bit of a time crunch here on buying that land, if you’re willing to sell it.”

  “Yeah?” Colt frowned. “Why’s that?”

  “I’m putting my ranch up for sale,” Bruce replied. “And if I include that strip, I can sell for about twenty percent more.”

  “As much as that?” Colt raised his eyebrows, then let out a low whistle. That meant if he kept that strip of land, he’d be doing the same for his own ranch’s land value. “But why sell?”

  “It’s time,” Bruce replied. “I’ve got two kids, and neither of them are real interested in ranching for themselves. So if I sell now, I can put some aside for my own retirement and then split the rest between them. It would help them out while I’m still here to see it.”

  “Easy as that?” Colt asked, narrowing his gaze. Beau had a single son who’d had no interest in ranching, and he’d made a much different choice.

  “Nothing’s easy,” Bruce replied.

  “How many generations of Armsons have been on that land?” Colt asked.

  “My wife’s father owned it before me. How many generations of Hardins have been on yours?” Bruce countered.

  It was a good point. Land changed hands every generation—that was just the way of the world.

  “Before I inherited this place, there were three generations of Marshalls on this ranch,” Colt said. “There’s family history here.”

  “But not your family,” Bruce replied.

  No, not Colt’s family in a direct line. The one who should have taken over the ranch didn’t want it. And the man who died had been too stubborn to see past the dirt under his feet to the son whose heart he’d broken.

  “There’s personal history here, too,” Colt said curtly. “I’ve worked this land since I was a teenager. I know every acre.”

  “I know that, too,” B
ruce said, softening his tone. “You’re asking how I can do it—sell this ranch and act like it means nothing to me.”

  “I was wondering,” Colt replied.

  “Truth is, it hurts like crazy. I love my ranch, and I wanted my kids to love it, too. And they do...don’t get me wrong. They just don’t love the work. My daughter’s a lawyer now, and my son is a digital artist working for a book company. I told them I wanted them to do what they loved—figured one of them would come back to cattle. What can I say?”

  “I was hoping to have you as a neighbor awhile longer,” Colt said.

  “Yeah, that would have been nice,” Bruce replied. “But my body is caving in on me. I’ve got diabetes now. You know that? And the doc says I should get my knee replaced. That just feels so...old.”

  Colt smiled sadly. “Might want to follow doctor’s orders, though.”

  “Yeah, yeah...” Bruce smiled faintly. “Thing is, I’m not getting any younger. My kids keep pointing it out.”

  “Okay,” Colt said. “But if I sell to you, I’m making the land next to mine more profitable, and mine less.”

  Bruce nodded. “There’s that. I wanted to be clear about it. I don’t want to be taking advantage. I’m offering to buy a strip of land that would be valuable to me. I don’t want to pull the wool over your eyes in any way.”

  Everything was changing. Even Bruce Armson, the one who seemed just a mite more blessed than everyone else, was leaving this area.

  “Who are you considering selling to?” Colt asked. “Some corporation?”

  “Nope, a woman who owns two other ranches in the next county. And she’s looking to expand. She’s not a corporation yet.”

  “That’s something.”

  “Look, can I give you some advice?” Bruce said after a beat of silence.

  “Sure,” Colt replied.

  “Things change. If you can accept that, it’s easier. I don’t think Beau dealt with that fact very gracefully. He wanted to hold on to the old ways and keep it consistent. But nothing will stay the same. You’ll buy some fields, sell some. You might even sell the whole outfit and do something else. What do I know? But that’s life. The older you get, the faster the world seems to change around you.”