The Arrangement

by Cassie Verano

  “I don’t know why I even bothered to come,” I said, pushing my chair back.

  “Please, Lake...for me,” Harlow said.

  “You don’t have to beg him to do anything,” my father scolded her.

  Clenching my teeth and fists, I refused to say anything.

  “Dad, I don’t come home often for this reason. I’d like to spend time with my family for once without the arguing, the tension, and the strain. Can’t we all sit down for a simple meal once a year and show a little love?”

  My father looked at my sister with disdain. “You barely come home, and when you do, this is how you show respect to us?”

  “Dad, I’m just asking for peace for once between you and Lake.”

  “If Lake would show me the respect I deserve, then maybe, I just might have peace. This is my home; you are guests here!”

  “Maybe that’s the problem, Dad! You never learned how to make us feel like a part of the family. Your children! We were always guests in this home, in your life, as though we were infringing on it. As though we should be grateful that we could breathe!” I said. “You never treated us like your children. Just another accomplishment or accolade that people should applaud you for.”

  “Is that what you think? I busted my ass for this family!”

  “You busted your ass for you. Reaping the rewards of that was just a byproduct for us! We never asked all of that from you. We wanted your love.”

  “You didn’t complain when you were wrecking expensive cars, wracking up bills on your black card, or flying to exotic vacations across the world!”

  Scoffing, I shook my head. “You missed the message in all of that, I guess,” I said sarcastically.

  “Message?”

  “Dad, Lake wrecked all of those cars to get your attention. We felt it was convenient for you to send us on those trips; to get us out of your hair. And it was only because Nana Rose begged that you didn’t send us back to boarding school after we turned thirteen.”

  “You were just spoiled brats that couldn’t see the truth in front of you!” he snarled at her. “And look at you. You’re still not satisfied. When it was time for you to grow up, instead of being responsible for your life, you went out there and found someone to do the same things for you I was doing. Taking care of you like a child, being responsible for your wellbeing as if you couldn’t do it. At least, if that would be your route, you could’ve married someone your age. Someone compatible! Cavorting around the world with a man the same age as your mother and me. Being some older man’s whore! We didn’t raise you that way! You should be ashamed of yourself, Harlow Marie!”

  I glanced at my sister, whose bottom lip was trembling and then to my mother, who cast her gaze down onto her plate. She would never defy my father. He was her money source, and her fear of being cut off was too great to go against anything he said, whether he was right or wrong.

  “Harlow, let’s go. You don’t deserve this shit,” I said as I stood from my chair.

  Laughing, he said, “You’re the problem. It’s always been your way or no way, huh, Lake? Do you think you’re so much better than me? Well, you’re not! You’ve always been selfish, too, just like me. You can’t think beyond what you want to do; what’s best for someone else. That poor little Indian-black girl you used to hang around—”

  “You know what, I can take whatever you dish out to me, but I will not stand by and let you speak that way to Harlow. And it’s bad enough that you don’t respect your daughter. But don’t you dare speak another word against Xiomara,” I warned, pointing my finger at him.

  Laughing, he said, “Yes, I’d heard that she’d returned. Still got you by the balls, huh, son? That was the only one that you didn’t seem to control. Running up behind her...a half-breed, as if you couldn’t do better. What’s the matter? You don’t measure up to that little Indian boy she’s marrying? What, you didn’t know that she was getting married? Surely if you’re sniffing in her panties, you should know that much.”

  “Harlow,” I grunted, meeting my sister’s gaze.

  Pushing her chair back, Harlow stood and glanced at my mother, whose pleading gaze was begging her not to leave. But she was too scared to say it out of fear of risking my father’s ire.

  “Mom?” she called out.

  “Guys, can’t we all just have peace today? It’s Christmas, Lake?”

  Shaking my head, I said, “It’s always me, isn’t it, Mom?”

  Turning her gaze away from me, she glanced at my dad and said, “Steven?”

  “Jenna, what are you asking of me?”

  “Can we just please finish Christmas? It’s been nice,” she said, giving him a weary smile.

  Harlow and I arrived a couple of hours earlier and enjoyed sitting and talking with them for a while. It had seemed as if the issue about Harlow not letting them know that she was in town might go ignored. We’d talked about my team and the chances of them going to the playoffs, skirting Harlow’s modeling career because it wasn’t a safe topic, and moving on to discuss business surrounding the family’s company.

  Though things were a bit tense when we first arrived, that tension disappeared when we exchanged gifts. But I should have known it was too good to be true.

  “When Lake learns some respect and humility, then we can have a good Christmas,” my father spat out, his green eyes full of wrath.

  “Maybe respect and humility are character traits that I’m lacking, but I had no role model in those areas. But then again...maybe it’s nothing more than an excuse because I didn’t have role models on human kindness, decency, and compassion either, but those are strong traits of mine you know nothing about,” I snarled before turning on my heel and stalking from the dining room.

  “Lake! Harlow! Wait! Please don’t go! I’m sure we can work this out. Your father didn’t mean those things,” I heard my mom call after us.

  By the time I reached the front door, she’d caught up to us.

  Staring into her eyes, I said, “Mom, you let him change you and not for the better. I can’t afford to do the same. I love you.”

  I pressed a hand against her cheek and kissed the other one. “Merry Christmas.”

  “DID YOU HAVE TO LET him get to you like that back there? Just this one day, Lake, couldn’t you just put aside your differences?” Harlow sniffed.

  Scoffing, I shook my head and glanced at her from the corner of my eye. “Really, Harlow? You’re thirty-one, and you’re still going to sit back and take that shit from him? You owe him nothing! He doesn’t take care of you. And if you’re dating an older man, then it’s just like you said before, that’s your business. Your choice. You’re an international model. A celebrity in your own right. You don’t need Dad to validate your worth!”

  Harlow didn’t respond right away, and when she did, it was her tears I noticed first.

  “You think that you’ve got it all figured out, don’t you, Lake?”

  “What’re you talking about?” I asked, resting my arm on my door and my head in my palm as I navigated the streets back to my house.

  “Everything isn’t that cut and dried. What Dad said back there wasn’t wrong.”

  “What’re you talking about?” I repeated.

  “When he called me an older man’s whore.”

  “Watch your language, Harlow! Cuz, fuck Dad!”

  “He’s not wrong, Lake. I’m exactly what he said I was.”

  “Look—”

  “What the hell do you think happens in the modeling industry? We’re not out here all beautiful and glamorous living this wonderful life. People see us sporting high-end fashions, expensive jewelry, walking the runway, and living this life that others would love to live, but that’s not our reality. We’re nothing more than high-end prostitutes, pimped out to the highest bidder. The trips I take around the world, the so-called vacations, aren’t that at all. We go to these private islands to be whatever these rich, powerful men need for the weekend. People need to stop taking in everything th
e media feeds them and open their eyes to what’s really going on in this world. Yes, I may be a top model, but I didn’t get there because of my beauty alone. I’ve been so used up, Lake...I can’t even tell you what I’ve gone through. It seems as if women get better results by being passive and conniving rather than standing up and being strong for what we believe in. I tried to make myself believe there was nothing wrong with giving it up to get to where I needed to be...initially. But then things changed, and I got stuck. In our life, Lake, success is everything. We’ve grown up surrounded by success, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I couldn’t be a failure. You weren’t one, Dad wasn’t, and neither was mom.”

  “And neither are you, Low. You’re so damned smart, and you always had so much to offer,” I argued.

  The things she was saying to me hurt to my core. I wanted to resist her words, but I knew that she needed me to hear her out.

  “Yes, but I thought I was going to blaze my trail separate from what you guys had. I loved the fashion industry, and that was my passion. But it was too late before I realized I’d taken the wrong path, and I could never admit that to mom and dad,” she cried.

  “What about me?”

  “You were doing so much, Lake. There was no time for me in your life. I know you meant well, but I didn’t want to be a burden to you.”

  “It never would’ve been a burden for me to look out for you. I just wanted to love and protect my little sister. How’d this even get started, Low?”

  “This well-known, highly recommended photographer, asked me to do special poses, and I trusted his advice. I was working on my portfolio so I could get it into the right hands. He said that if I did a favor, I would get one in return, and it was just between him and me. It didn’t feel right, sure, but I was going to be a star. After the first couple of times, I thought that was it. But before I could get any notoriety, I was about four or five guys in. After a while, I became numb to it. Each step of the way, I was getting further and further in, and I started getting an understanding of the industry. I didn’t realize they were playing off my insecurity and need to be desired. I mean, the sex act itself is normal, but the reasons behind it were mentally damaging. That’s all I am now, Lake, is damaged goods. Gabriel knows what I went through, and he accepts me as I am. He expects nothing from me, but he gives me the world. I’ve found someone who loves and protects me, and he doesn’t judge what I had to go through to get there. I did these things in my way, but I finally found what I’ve been looking for. Someone to love me unconditionally.”

  My heart hurt at her revelation. “Low, I always loved you, unconditionally.”

  “Yes, but not how I needed. I was missing Dad’s love. I’ll never have it, and I’m okay with that now. When I started crying back there when he spoke those words to me, I realized that he would never give me what I need. I have to be okay with that, Lake. And I can’t undo what I’ve done to myself. I’m living with a self-made stigma, but I’m better than I’ve ever been. So, no, Dad wasn’t wrong. That’s exactly who I’ve been.”

  “Is Gabriel pimping you out?”

  Laughing and wiping her nose with tissues she’d found in the glove compartment, she shook her head, “No.”

  “He’s protective of me and would do nothing like that to me.”

  I pulled into my garage and turned to face my sister. “Low, if you ever need anything from me, don’t worry about what’s going on in my life. Call me. Okay?”

  She nodded briskly. “I will. But I think it’s time that you face your demons, too. And you will not get there by hiding out at Prestige all the time.”

  Pulling a hand over my face, I said, “I know. Believe it or not, I don’t go there anymore.”

  Smiling, she replied, “I guess that we have Xiomara to thank for that. But, Lake, if she never decides to be with you, it’s still time for you to go on with your life, mature, and settle down.”

  Pulling Harlow into my arms, I said, “I know. I know.”

  I wasn’t sure that there was anything we could do to erase the bad blood between our Dad and us. Beautiful memories that both Harlow and I worked hard to create with our parents flushed down the toilet with one action or word by our Dad. I could undo none of that.

  The man that I’d worshiped as a kid and a teen was not anything like I’d dreamt him to be. He was nothing more than an illusion. My father chose not to remember how much he meant to us.

  Instead, he’d cruelly taken two precious and innocent lives and destroyed them, crushing them in the palm of his hands. And we had to fight to swim our way back to the top again.

  CHAPTER 20 – XIOMARA

  “YOU’RE QUIET TONIGHT, Xiomara. What’s on your mind?”

  I looked up from my plate and conjured a smile I did not feel.

  “Nothing, just thinking about some changes we’re making with the board,” I lied.

  “Mmm, still having problems with that Andrew Letteral fellow?”

  Tilting my head to the side, I asked, “How did you know about that?”

  “Your father, of course.”

  “Of course,” I replied, nodding my head. “Russell, what all does my father confide in you about?”

  With a shrug and a lift of one palm, he replied, “Oh, you know. Things men discuss; the business, his expectations for it, finances, what I can expect as a husband, and what I should provide. Things like that.”

  “What do you mean, his expectations for the business? What does that have to do with you?”

  “Well, of course, we’ll be running it together. So, it’s expected that he’ll have a conversation with me to ensure that I understand his expectations.”

  “But that has nothing to do with you. I’ll be running Sheffield, and you’ll be running Darden. Although there will be a merger, the responsibility as CEO falls on my shoulders. It’s understood that you would be COO. There will be many matters where there will be dual responsibility, but somewhere you’ll take charge and vice versa.”

  Russell released a soft chuckle before picking up his linen napkin and dabbing his lips. For just a moment, he looked as if he wanted to say something. But the moment passed, and he smiled at me. Whatever he’d been about to say, he’d changed his mind about.

  “Sweetheart, there will be several matters that you must cede to me as your husband in both the bedroom and the boardroom. Surely that’s no secret. And with that understanding, you should also understand there will be conversations between your father and me that you’re just not privy to. I promise never to keep anything from you that could hurt you or upset you.”

  I didn’t like the direction this conversation was taking at all. And even more so, I wasn’t sure that I liked the implications of what this merger would mean for me.

  The way that Russell was talking had me wondering if my father was double-dipping. Was he encouraging me to believe that I would have complete control with Russell answering to me, while on the other side implying a different understanding with Russell and his father?

  I pushed my plate away from me.

  “What’s wrong? Aren’t you hungry? I thought that was your favorite meal.”

  “Russ, beef bourguignon has always been your favorite meal. Not mine. And to answer your question, no. I’m not hungry. I think that I’d like to head to bed.”

  Russell reached across the table and grabbed my hands in his.

  “Sweetheart, we’ve barely been here twelve hours. This vacation was for us to enjoy one another.”

  “No, it was for us to discuss what we’re doing about this marriage.”

  “I’ve had a lot of time to think, and I do want us to work through our differences, Xiomara. You spent more time with me in New York on my visits there than you do here. I think we should become re-acclimated with one another. I thought for a while that maybe I didn’t want this either, but I do. We’ve got to spend more time together.”

  “A lot is going on, Russ. Father’s company, Mother’s magazine, everyone’s expecting a lot
from me. I just have had little time,” I said.

  “Mmm.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Shrugging, he said, “I’m just wondering if that’s all that has gained your attention.”

  I pulled a hand through my hair.

  “Russ, we don’t love one another.”

  “Maybe not, but we’ll grow to that in time. I don’t think we’ve spent enough time together to develop the proper feelings of a husband and wife.”

  “Or perhaps we’re not as equally yoked as our parents would like for us to believe.”

  “There you go sounding like my mother now.”

  “Mrs. Darden doesn’t agree with our arrangement?”

  “You know you really should start calling her Mother Darden as she’s asked you to. And no, she doesn’t agree that marriage should be based on a business arrangement. Although her and father’s was.”

  Shaking my head, I said, “That explains it.”

  “What?”

  “The seeming lack of love between your parents. Your mother never really looks happy; it’s as if she’s just along for the ride. I mean, I can see that she loves you dearly, and everything that you do means the world to her. But her and your father...”

  “Falling in love and notions of romance are just fallacies about what marriage should be,” Russell said.

  “The fact that you believe that breaks my heart,” I muttered.

  “What was that?”

  “Nothing, Russ. What do you expect to happen between us when we’re married?”

  Russell set his fork down and slowly chewed his food until he’d finished.

  “I know that your parents don’t expect us to know one another in the biblical sense until after we exchange our vows. But...we’re living in current times, Xiomara, and maybe we should rethink all of that. After all, we are marrying one another, and there’s no reason that we have to hold off until marriage. We could...try again.”

  “Russ, we have a hard time kissing one another, let alone...” I shook my head.

  “Maybe things will be different this time.”