Ocean's Kiss

by Lani Wendt Young

  "That makes no sense," said Ronan. "Why would she do that?"

  Leila hesitated. How to explain the Telesā world to a palagi stranger? In a way he would understand and believe? Especially now that she had no gift to show as 'proof' of any of it? "I'm not sure how much you knew about her family background, but Moanasina belonged to a special group of women, a sacred group of umm...healers and spiritual guardians of the land. They aren't allowed to marry, especially not foreigners. They saw how serious her relationship with you had become so she was told to end it. Or..."

  "Or what?" Ronan demanded.

  "Or they would kill you and her baby."

  "No. I don't believe you. That's archaic and primitive and a lie! It wasn't like that. Her family weren't like that. She would have told me." It was all too much. He swore savagely and strode to place his hands on the roof of the car. Deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Spun around. "Are you saying that's how she died? Her family killed her?"

  "No," said Leila. "After she sent you away, she went into hiding until after she had her baby. Then she gave him to a woman who had been like a mother to her. She died shortly after. We think..." She stopped, unwilling to say the words. "Never mind what we think. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you have a son. And like Simone said, Daniel thinks you abandoned his mother. And him."

  "This is too much. I need time to think," Ronan muttered. "Kirei, get in the car. We're going."

  As if on cue, Daniel's truck drove in the front gate.

  "We're really screwed now," said Simone to Leila.

  It was like watching a car crash about to happen. In slow motion.

  Daniel parked beside the rental car and got out. A questioning smile for Leila and Simone, a polite greeting for the visitors. "Hi. You here about a welding job?"

  For a moment, he and Ronan looked each other in the eye. It was only a moment for Daniel, but to everyone else who knew the full import of this meeting, it seemed to go on forever. For them, seeing the two men stand there together, the likeness was undeniable. Real, raw and razed with emotion.

  "Faaaaaaaaaark," breathed Simone. "Look at them. They could be brothers."

  Leila had to agree. Ronan's youthful vitality rendered him more of an older sibling to Daniel's maturity and rugby-player physique. But where there was neutral hospitality on Daniel's face, there was naked pain on Ronan's. The man was hurting. He was angry, he was bereft - and Leila's heart mourned for him. She couldn't deny what was right in front of her. They had been wrong about this man. He didn't reject his child twenty years ago. He just didn't know he had one. He'd been in the dark all along and now, the light of truth was too bright for him. Too much all at once. He needed space to process it all.

  "They have a boat at the Marina that needs a few repairs. I told them we could look at it tomorrow," Leila explained to Daniel.

  "Oh yeah, sure. I can check it out then," said Daniel. Oblivious to the underlying tension. "Later."

  Ronan didn't say anything but Kirei threw Leila a look of silent gratitude. The two of them got into their rental and drove out.

  'Now what?' Simone mouthed at Leila.

  She shrugged helplessly. 'I don't know.'

  Daniel watched their exchange with amusement. "What's going on?" He didn't wait for a reply, only moved to take Leila in his arms. "Avert your eyes Simone. I'm going to ravish my woman. It's been four hours since I last saw her."

  "I just threw up in my mouth," said Simone. "This is my cue to leave."

  "Hey, don't go. Come with us to Leila's house and we'll get pizza," said Daniel.

  "Come with us to OUR house," Leila gently corrected Daniel, "We're legally together now, remember? Stop calling it MY house." To Simone. "Come with us. We can get everyone to come over for dinner too...Aunty and Uncle, Teuila, Maleko, Sinalei? How about it?"

  Simone shook his head. "Nooo, I think we need to leave you two alone. For at least one more night. I'm sure you've got pleeenty to talk about, right Leila?" A meaningful look as he sauntered off, blowing a kiss for Daniel. "Besides, the Springboks rugby team is in town and I have plans for the night. Me and Beyonce are going out to do some rugby player research."

  "Oh, okay," said Daniel. "Tomorrow then. Stay out of trouble." To Leila. "Let me just unload the equipment from the truck, then we'll go?"

  As soon as Daniel disappeared into the workshop, Simone hissed at Leila, "You can't have a crowd of people over. Not now. Not until you do it. Tell him everything. He needs to know. I can't even imagine how he's going to take it. He might go berserk and have to beat the crap out of his training bag. OR, he might need to get wasted. If so, call me. I'll come over and bring Jack Daniels."

  "Don't be ridiculous," said Leila. "Why would he be angry for? Once he knows the truth about what happened between his birth parents, he'll be sad. And hurt. Mourn the time wasted when he could have had a relationship with Ronan. Give him a bit of time and I'm sure he's going to want to get to know Ronan and Kirei and even meet this other family of his. He's going to grieve for the mistakes of the past but he's certainly not going to want to smash anything! Or, get drunk."

  Simone was incredulous. "You are not this stupid. Tell, me you are not this stupid. WTF?! You are this stupid. Leila, don't you know anything about the male psyche? Or at least about your husband?"

  "What?!"

  Daniel was coming back. Simone lowered his voice. "Just be gentle when you tell him, okay? And let him react however he needs to. Give him space to be mad, go for a run, punching bag session, or whatever. Don't take it personally if he doesn't want to sit and talk about his feelings. He's a man. They don't have the empathy or the patience to sit and blab with you for hours like I do. After all, we fa'afafine are on the next rung of the evolutionary ladder."

  If he was trying to make Leila laugh, he succeeded. A quick air-kiss and Simone was out of there. Leaving her alone with Daniel. And a really big truth that was silently screaming to be told. Now for the 'right' moment to tell him.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  When they got to the house, Daniel paused on the steps of the veranda and swept her up in his arms. A yelp of surprise from Leila. "What are you doing?"

  "Carrying my wife inside 'OUR house'... which is really HER house that she paid for and she owns everything inside it which is a constant reminder to me that she's a millionaire many times over. While I'm just a poor welder with nothing to offer her, but to avoid any arguments, I'm telling her I agree because all I want to do right now is tear her clothes off and I can't do that out here in front of all the neighbors."

  "I know you don't mean that rubbish about the house because you're not a sexist chauvinistic man-beast." Leila ducked her head as they swept through the door sideways and then whispered in his ear. "And you're wrong. You do have something to offer me. And I'm hoping you offer it to me several times tonight."

  "Man-beast, ay?" Daniel laughed at her teasing and it was a sound that soothed the worry and unease of the afternoon. He set her on the kitchen bench so her face was level with his, so he could kiss her long, slow and hard. His hands came up to loosen the ties from her hair and fist handfuls of the wiry mass, tugging her head back so he could lavish kisses down the line of her throat. Her soft sigh of delight had him smiling and urged him on. Downward. A sound of frustration when he found his way blocked by fabric and buttons. One quick movement, a tearing sound and he'd disposed of her shirt. Leila thought about reprimanding him for ruining yet another one of her tops but then she was distracted by his mouth. Worshipful and hungry. Sucking, licking, tasting her. His hands went to unfasten her shorts - which is when she stopped him.

  "Wait, stop. We can't do this now."

  "Why not?" He was listening to her but at the same time, he was shrugging out of his overalls, tugging his shirt off over his head so that only his shorts remained. So that his bronzed torso with its muscled maps and contours was revealed in all its breath-taking splendor. The air-conditioning was off and the house was a sauna. Beads of sweat were like g
listening diamonds on chiseled, sculpted planes of brown skin.

  Leila looked. Yeah, why do we need to stop again? "We have to talk."

  "Later," said Daniel. He slipped her off the bench so she stood facing him, pressed against him so she could feel his arousal. So that all the electric-edged parts of her meshed with his. Hands that knew every secret part of her, danced along her thighs. Gently questing, playing, setting her on fire. "You don't really want to talk right now, do you?"

  "No..." Leila trembled and swayed against his touch, grabbed on to his hard bulk to steady herself against his chest. A deep breath. Then wrinkled her nose. "But you smell like acetylene and smoke. And you're all sweaty and dirty."

  "So let's go shower and you can clean me up," countered Daniel. He hoisted her up so she had to wrap her legs around him and then made his way down the hall towards the bathroom. Talking about anything else other than this moment of heat, longing and desire - would have to wait.

  Much later, the two of them sat at the kitchen table and feasted on pizza. They were both happy and sated. (And super importantly for feeling good - the air conditioning was on full blast.) Leila had run out of excuses not to talk about Ronan and Kirei.

  "Daniel, that man you met today outside the workshop, the one with a boat that needs some repairs done?"

  "Hmmm..." Daniel had a mouth full of Hawaiian pizza. "Yeah?"

  "There's something you need to know about him."

  Leila launched into a recital of her meeting with Ronan. She had just gotten to the part about Ronan not knowing he'd fathered a son when the look on Daniel's face - slowed and then stilled her words. He finished chewing, took a sip of soda and then spoke with a quiet tone she'd never heard from him before. "Let me get this straight. That man is the one who got my mother pregnant? You're sure? He's a marine biologist from New Zealand and he was in Tonga twenty years ago?"

  "Yes, it all fits. It's him. His name isn't Ryan, it's Ronan Matiu and he's your father."

  "NO!" It was one word but so sharp and loaded it was like a gunshot. "I had a father. I’m proud to carry his name. He died. I don't need another father. Especially not one who has no honor or loyalty. No respect for love or family."

  "But he didn't know Moanasina was pregnant. It's not his fault. He only found out about you today. You have to know the full story."

  Daniel shoved his chair back with vicious fury and stood. "I don't have to do anything. I understand you thought you were being helpful, but I wish you'd called me first before talking to this man. I would have saved you the trouble and we could have avoided this whole discussion."

  "But you've had the wrong information all these years. So has he. If you could have seen the hurt and the sadness in his eyes Daniel - he loved your mother. Truly loved her. His boat is named after her..."

  "You had no right!" shouted Daniel. He stood there with clenched fists of rage and it seemed the room was too small to contain it. "I have to get out of here." He went to the door and then stopped to look back. "I'm sorry for shouting at you." He didn't look sorry though. He looked like a very angry stranger.

  Then he left.

  Leila was shell-shocked. She looked at the remains of their light-hearted dinner and she wanted to cry. And set things on furious fire. All at the same time. She ran out to the veranda. Daniel was walking down the driveway.

  "Daniel Tahi, don't you dare walk away from me! Get back here and finish this discussion like a mature adult." She didn't care about neighbors or passers-by. She didn't care that she was only dressed in a skimpy pair of pajama shorts and a brief tank top. Or that she sounded like a crazy person yelling at the top of her lungs at a husband who was ignoring her. He turned out of the gate and started at a brisk pace down the main road.

  Leila ran to the truck, started the engine and roared after him. She slowed the car alongside him and rolled the window down. "Daniel, where are you going?"

  "Go home Leila."

  "No. We were having a discussion and you don't just walk away when you don't like how the conversations going! That's not how relationships work, dammit."

  Still he kept walking. With that intense, serious look on his face that made him look nothing like a man who was supposed to love and cherish her above all else. "Stop walking away from me. We've been to hell and back, why can't we talk about this? Like rational adults?" Leila yelled. Ignoring the voice in her head that questioned just how rational she was being at that moment.

  Daniel stopped walking. Leila jammed on the brakes. He leaned against the doorframe. "I'm going for a walk because I don't trust myself to be calm and rational. I'm going for a walk because I don't feel like talking. I want to break things. I want to smash someone. Bad. I'm going for a walk because I love you and I don't want to hurt you. Now, please go home."

  The stark truth and the raw appeal in his words stunned her. He started walking again and this time, she didn't follow. Her anger faded as she watched him go, and regret and contrition replaced it. Too late, she remembered Simone's advice. 'Let him react however he needs to. Give him space to be mad, go for a run, punching bag session, or whatever. Don't take it personally if he doesn't want to sit and talk about his feelings...give him space.'

  The dismal truth stared her in the face. Chasing after Daniel and forcing him to talk was more about her wounded pride than an honest desire to help him with his father-issues. She thought back to the times he had helped her through her own troubled journey discovering she had a mother - after a lifetime of believing she didn't have one. He had been patient and supportive. Listened when she wanted to talk. And only offered his counsel when she'd asked for it. Golden memories were now an accusing contrast for her own behavior.

  If this was the first test of being a #GoodWife? Then she had just failed. Miserably.

  Back at the house, Leila stayed up late waiting for Daniel to come home. Rehearsing all the things she was going to say to try and make up for the monumental mess she’d made of things. Daniel was right. She shouldn’t have told Ronan anything about Daniel’s existence. It wasn’t her place. It wasn’t her right. The decision to tell his birth father that he actually had a son belonged to only two people – and one of them had died twenty years ago. By two in the morning, she finally dozed off, worry and regret adding to her exhaustion…

  The sun was just beginning to slow burn on the horizon when she heard the creak of floor boards and then the rustle of the sheets as Daniel slipped into the bed beside her. A fuzzy frozen moment as she wondered what to say, what to do… Is he still mad?

  And then his arms came around to crush her in his embrace, a whisper in her ear. “Leila, you awake? I’m sorry.”

  A rush of relief as she turned to face him. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told Ronan about you. I should have asked you first. Can you ever forgive me for screwing up so bad?”

  And then she couldn’t say anymore because he was kissing her with a hungry intensity that was both surprising and thrilling. Leila kissed him back with the same urgency as she blasted away all the worry and recrimination of the past few hours. Sweet relief turned to burning need. Daniel was back. He wasn’t angry. He was here. They were going to be alright. She moved to straddle him, pausing only to strip off her tank top before returning to kiss and bite – his lips, neck and chest. Her hands were busy opening the fastening of his pants and trying to shove them off.

  Daniel stopped her, sat up in the bed, his hands on her hips as she sat in his lap. “Wait. We have to talk.”

  Leila shook her head. “Later. I want you.” She pulled his shirt up over his head, chucked it aside with a gleam of satisfaction in her eyes. “That’s better.”

  But Daniel wasn’t distracted so easily. He slipped his hands around her back and bent his head to kiss her on the lips, light and soft. “Talk now…please? I can’t make love to you until I’ve fixed this.”

  The seriousness of his tone had Leila worried. Scrambling off his lap and away from the bed. “What is it?” Remembering Simone’s w
arnings, she had a horrifying thought. “Oh no, you didn’t go get wasted last night, did you?” She peered at him in the half-light. He doesn’t look drunk. But then, how would I know? Maybe he’s really good at hiding it?

  “No!” said Daniel with a bemused grin. “Why would you even think that?”

  An even worse thought. “You got with some other girl!?”

  “What?!”

  “You were so mad last night that you went and saw some other girl?” A wail, “Maybe Mele!”

  Now, Daniel just looked angry. WTF!! “No. Where did that come from? Leila, we had a disagreement, not a divorce!” He went to her, took her in his arms. “I’m yours, remember? I know we’re going to have problems. We’re going to argue. Sometimes you’re going to drive me nuts. And sometimes, I might, just might,” a grin, “get on your nerves. But it’s never going to change the promises we’ve made to each other. Don’t ever think I would even look at another woman. I meant what I said on our wedding night Leila. I waited my whole life to make love to you. To learn the meaning of love with you. Why would I throw that away, risk everything we have, on some other girl, just because you and I are having an argument? You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. And the only woman I will ever love.” His eyes were steel now. “Don’t ever doubt me like that Leila.”

  All her doubt and suspicion fled at his words, at the sincere truth in his face. Leaving behind only the sour taste of shame. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just that Simone told me you might need to go get drunk…or beat the crap out of your workout bag…or something like that.”

  Bemused indignation. “So how did you leap from beating up a sparring bag – to having sex with Mele?!”

  A wail. “I don’t know. It’s just…you were gone all night and I was scared for you and you promised me you wouldn’t take off and leave me like that.”

  It was his turn to look apologetic. “Yeah, I did say I wouldn’t leave you alone at night again. I just never thought it was possible to get that angry at you.” He ran a hand through his hair tiredly.