High

by David Sheff

  My dad and I, we’re not going to lie to you.

  In this book, we go beyond the drama and the easy answers, because easy answers aren’t real—this isn’t easy. We hope the information we provide will help you decide what to do if someone hands you a joint, a beer, a pill—any drug. We hope you’ll be able to make a decision about trying drugs based on facts and science, not myths or ignorance. You’ll be able to weigh the supposed benefits of drug use versus the risks, the cost versus the payoff. You’ll learn about alternative ways to deal with stress. You’ll learn what to do if you need help—whether with drugs or anything else.

  Adults can warn you not to use. They can threaten you and punish you if they catch you using, but ultimately, you have to decide.

  In the past, adults told kids to “just say no.”

  We say, “Just say know.”

  Know yourself. Figure out what you want in life. Weigh the risks of using. Know the truth and decide.

  CHAPTER TWO

  America On Drugs

  Weed: It makes me feel the way I need to feel.

  —SNOOP DOGG

  MESSAGE RECEIVED

  We hear from teenagers all around the country—in big cities, suburbs, rural America. Kids whose parents are of lower, middle, and high economic status and of every ethnicity; kids in public, private, and religious schools, or even not in school at all; kids who say they were depressed or super anxious or having trouble with academics, peers, or their parents before they tried drugs, and some who say they were completely “normal” and felt fine and got along with their families. But they keep coming: story after story of struggle, pain, and loss.

  What we’ve learned is that drugs may not hurt everyone in obvious ways, but they do a lot of damage, some of it devastating and irreversible, and they kill more people than you’d think. No one who tries drugs or uses them regularly thinks they’ll end up with problems, and no one ever thinks they’ll become addicted or die. Still, it happens all the time. And it’s not just the users who are affected; it’s also their families and friends.

  Despite all the news about celebrity arrests, studies documenting negative physical effects, and the skyrocketing number of deaths from overdose of opioids (pain pills, heroin, and fentanyl), America seems more confused than ever about drugs.

  On one hand, society judges drug users harshly, and kids are bombarded with antidrug messages. On the other hand, the media contributes to the idea that drugs are central to socializing and good times, even to creativity and achievement. Drugs are glamorized in movies, on TV, and online. On social media, kids rarely post pictures of themselves reading books, taking walks, or bowling with friends. They post pictures and videos of themselves wasted, chugging beer, downing shots, smoking bongs, and snorting cocaine. We’ve all heard about writers like Hunter S. Thompson or Ernest Hemingway who lived hard, who drank or did drugs. So many songs—in just about every genre—are about drugs and alcohol. For some kids, it can seem like everyone else is having all the fun—and that fun is mostly about getting wasted.

  Often, celebrities add to the glamorizing of drugs. They make jokes and minimize the dangers. Like Eminem saying, “Don’t do drugs, don’t have unprotected sex, don’t be violent. Leave that to me.” The actor Charlie Sheen, who has often boasted about his drug use, said, “I was sober for five years a long time ago and was just bored out of my tree.” The pop and jazz singer Amy Winehouse’s biggest-selling record celebrated her refusal to go to rehab, though rehab might have saved her. Addicted to alcohol and drugs, she died when she was twenty-seven.

  More positively, the actor Robert Downey Jr., who was frequently arrested for his drug use, which began in childhood when his father gave him drugs, is now in recovery and has said that he’s “allergic” to drugs and alcohol. He says that every time he uses, he “break[s] out in handcuffs.” Lady Gaga said, “There’s this perception and romanticism around drugs. That it’s sexy. Or that it’s artistic or that you’re troubled and you’re going to make great music, when really, you’re just a f—ing loser.”

  Nic

  I would say when it came to cigarettes and pot, the way both drugs were portrayed in movies and on TV made them seem cool to me. There never seemed to be any negative consequences to doing them.

  In fact, in most movies, the characters smoking pot never seem to be affected that much. I was watching a show recently where the young adult characters smoked weed throughout the episode, but their behavior never changed. They experienced no consequences at all—good or bad, really. Not only do these images make getting high seem cool, but they make it seem normal—like it’s simply something to do, not something that should be questioned.

  At some point when I was smoking pot, I would get so high that I could barely function. I remember being confused and sort of stuck in my own head, thinking these paranoid, looping thoughts. It was strange, because in a way, it wasn’t even that enjoyable. But I kept thinking I would eventually be able to smoke pot and just act normal, like people in the movies. Of course, that never happened.

  The point is that it’s important to recognize the ways we’re influenced by the movies and TV shows we watch, the images we see on social media and elsewhere on the Internet, and the music we listen to. To some extent, I think we’re all influenced, even if we aren’t aware of it. Just as when we’re kids we play dress-up and pretend we’re superheroes or fairy princesses, as we get older we continue to try to be like those we look up to.

  It sounds obvious, but being influenced by what we see is stupid. I succumbed to the manipulation. That probably says more about my own insecurities than anything else. I watch and listen differently now. I notice when getting high is depicted as cool and consequence-free. Seeing through the lie is important to my recovery and my life.

  On average, a teenager is exposed to approximately eighty-four references to drug use every day and almost six hundred references every week—that’s more than thirty thousand a year.

  Many of us think we’re smart enough not to be influenced by the media, whether they depict people smoking cigarettes or weed, drinking, or using other drugs, but research shows that what we see and hear has a profound impact on our behavior. For example, a study of sixteen thousand teenagers found that the more drinking kids saw in movies, the more likely they were to binge drink. Images in the media can make drug use seem normal—like everyone’s doing it—and cool.

  Another study showed that drug use in movies is often associated with “wealth or luxury.” Which means that drugs can seem to confer a sense of importance or “status” on users, an idea that may be compelling for teens trying to find a place in their peer groups—and in the world.

  NOT ALL FUN AND GAMES

  Drugs and alcohol sometimes do appear in cautionary tales: kids face consequences for getting high, sometimes winding up sick, in jail, or in the hospital. The “evils” of drugs are shown when people lie, steal, become addicted, or overdose.

  But we rarely see other consequences of getting high: hangovers, paranoia, anxiety, arrests for driving under the influence, school absences, lack of motivation, memory loss, health issues, and relationship problems. We are not told that on any given night, an average of five hundred teenagers are taken to hospital emergency rooms for alcohol poisoning or other effects of binge drinking. And we don’t hear much about overdoses and accidents related to other drugs, including prescription pills (over ninety people die every day from overdoses of pain medications like OxyContin and Vicodin), inhalants, and more.

  For anyone who isn’t convinced of the dangers of opioid pain medications, here’s the ultimate proof: overdose on opioids kills more people than cars and guns combined. Drugs are the number-one killer of people under fifty—in all, 64,000 people died in 2016. That’s 175 people every day. As of 2017, the number was rising.

  The number-one deadliest drug among all ages is tobacco. Though this book doesn’t focus on cigarettes, nicotine, found in tobacco, is a drug. Cigarettes kill almost fi
ve hundred thousand people a year—thirteen hundred every day. Cigarettes, which are addictive, cause heart disease, cancer (especially lung cancer), and many other diseases. Some people believe that e-cigarettes are safer, but there is evidence that they can be addictive and that teenagers that use them are at a higher risk of smoking cigarettes.

  EVERYBODY’S DOING IT

  One reason warnings by parents and speakers at antidrug assemblies at schools fail to convince kids of the dangers of drugs is that kids feel lied to—or at least subjected to scare tactics.

  Not all drugs and drug users are the same. Some people can smoke pot or take a drink once and that’s it. They stop or use moderately. Some people try harder drugs and then leave them behind. The singer Pink said, “It wasn’t to the point of going to the hospital, but I remember getting up off the floor in the morning—and that was the last time I ever touched a drug again.” Most drug users don’t drop out of school or end up in prison or on the streets like Nic did.

  The problem is that everyone thinks they’re one of those people who won’t be harmed. The reality is that no one who tries drinking, pot, or something harder for the first time truly knows how that drug will affect them.

  It’s important to know that onetime or moderate drug use can have devastating consequences—accidents, adverse psychological reactions, and even overdose. Also, drugs are at the center of many social problems. They’re the number-one cause of crime. Almost 80 percent of kids in the juvenile justice system are in it because of problems related to their drug abuse. A study by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse found that children of substance-abusing parents were almost three times likelier to be abused and more than four times likelier to be neglected than children of parents who were not substance abusers.

  Nic

  The only drug education I remember in high school was a talk from a police officer who came in and told us about this guy on a drug called PCP who lifted a police car, jumped off a two-story building, broke his leg, and then managed to run for like ten blocks before they got him. It sounded kind of great.

  But no one ever told us that if I was in a lot of pain and thought drugs were the only thing that could make me feel better, there was a good chance I was going to become seriously, possibly fatally, addicted. I also never had anyone tell me that once you do become addicted, it’s not like you can just go to rehab and you’re magically cured. Once you’re addicted, that’s it. It stays with you the rest of your life. It’s a constant—something I have to be aware of every time I go out to dinner with people and they order drinks.

  If kids aren’t taught about the nature of addiction, how can they possibly know whether they’re in danger of becoming addicted themselves? And how can they know what that means for them in terms of the rest of their lives? Because I had no idea. And I guess I really do wish I could’ve heard someone speaking about addiction back when I was in school—the way it works, the way it starts, why some people are more susceptible—because I do think it could’ve made a difference.

  There’s more. Drugs have broken up an incalculable number of families. It’s estimated that at least 60 percent of homeless people suffer from addiction, often co-occurring with mental illness. People with substance-use disorders (SUDs) are six times more likely to commit suicide than the general population, and one drug—alcohol—is associated with a full half of teenage suicides.

  If the possibility of illness or death (or causing another person’s death) doesn’t stop many kids from trying and using drugs, will anything?

  First, it’s important to know that drug use seems more common than it is. When Nic started high school, he came home one day and said, “Everyone at school smokes weed.”

  David responded, “Not everybody.”

  Nic responded, “Well, everyone who’s cool.”

  It can seem that way, but as it turns out, most kids don’t use any drug. As of 2016, 18 percent of eighth-graders, 40 percent of tenth-graders, and 55 percent of high school seniors had used a drug, including alcohol, in the previous year. This means that three out of every four eighth-graders, six out of ten tenth-graders, and almost half of high school students didn’t use anything.

  The bottom line is, drugs are out there. Most kids don’t use them, but many try them, and some use them often. A significant number become addicted. There is a range of consequences, from minor to devastating, for any drug use. What’s most relevant to you—and to every individual—isn’t what many kids do or what few kids do, but what you will do.

  What will you do?

  Think about it. Will you use drugs? Are you using them now, and if so, will you continue? To help you decide, think about who you are and what you want in your life. Think about the impact drugs can have on your brain and body and ultimately on your future—we’ll talk about all this soon.

  The media and some of your peers may make you feel that it would be uncool not to try drugs or to quit using them. Taylor Swift said, “Sometimes people are fascinated by the fact that I don’t care about partying, almost to the point where they think it’s weird.” But statistics show that you wouldn’t be alone. Far from it. So keep your eyes open to the messages coming your way. Question them. Learn about the potential consequences of the use of various drugs. Think about why people use them—we’ll talk about this soon too—and decide.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Choosing To Use

  I was a freshman in high school, and a trio of junior girls asked me if I wanted to “go outside” with them before class. I had never smoked pot and was even vaguely afraid of trying it . . . but the girls were cute, and I was curious.

  —SETH MNOOKIN, AWARD-WINNING JOURNALIST

  I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.

  —EDGAR ALLAN POE, AUTHOR

  UNDER PRESSURE

  Why do people use drugs? We talked to kids, and many said the same thing: They just want a break from the tension. They work all day in school and want some relief. On weekends they want to get wasted. Many describe social stresses or stress at home. They talk about drugs like adults talk about having a martini after work: “God, what a day. I need a drink.”

  Why? Because it’s hard growing up.

  Many teenagers feel defeated, confused, anxious, alienated, or weird. They feel inadequate and insecure—about friendships, their appearance, sex. Kids face bullying and cyberbullying. They have to deal with social media, which gives the impression that everyone’s life is awesome, making them feel excluded, like they’re the only one home on a Friday night.

  Add academics that can feel overwhelming and more competitive than ever, with pressure to take AP and honors classes; SAT prep courses; extracurriculars like ballet, acting, guitar, tae kwon do, soccer, lacrosse, and swimming; not to mention fulfilling the community service hours required by some schools.

  In a study by the American Psychological Association, one in three teenagers said that stress drove them to sadness or depression—and their single biggest source of stress was school. A survey conducted by the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids revealed that for six in ten teenagers stress and anxiety have a large impact on their lives, and half of all teens said they struggle to manage these mental conditions.

  Scientists have shown that stress, no matter what the cause, is directly related to drug use. Those in stressful family or school situations are more likely to use drugs or alcohol. While all kids whose parents divorce don’t turn to mood-altering substances, those kids are more likely to do so, especially if they feel stuck in the middle. Even within intact families, kids experiencing stress at home—anything from parents’ arguing to physical and emotional abuse—are more likely than others to use.

  61% of teens say stress has a b
ig impact on their lives.

  For some kids—those without parents or competent caretakers, and those coping with violence, or living in dangerous environments—there are different kinds of stress. It’s not surprising that these kids often turn to drugs and alcohol. It doesn’t matter where the stress comes from. It’s very real, and it can take its toll.

  A SEDUCTIVE PROMISE

  Drugs make a seductive promise: to help us feel more and to help us feel less. They can provide an escape from whatever we want to escape. For some people who haven’t found a way to live comfortably in the real world, they offer an alternative world. Drugs can make social situations easier. They can keep sadness at bay, at least for a little while (though eventually they actually increase depression).

  Drugs and alcohol have long been described as social lubricants, easing the way for people to interact. For the lonely, drugs can provide a social group—other users—who share a strong common interest in getting high. Insecurity, fatigue, isolation, and doubts can be replaced by euphoria, a sense of peace, confidence, and connection—everything a teenager craves. Stress can melt away, at least for a little while.

  Earlier, we said that parents identified peer pressure as a main reason that kids use drugs, and though stress tops the list, peer pressure is a factor, too. In both of our cases, friends gave us the first drugs we tried. Though we were drawn to drugs to manage stress, we both also had a sense that—as Nic said earlier—the kids who did drugs were the “cool kids,” and as pathetic as it is to admit, we wanted to be cool.