“I didn’t hide her. I denied her. I don’t plan on lying about any of it. If I want to make it up to Mercy and Ava, I’ll have to come clean.” I knew that I couldn’t sugar coat everything for the purpose of the news, but Ava would believe that I still hadn’t changed. So, when I decided to go after them, I decided that the whole truth and nothing but the truth would be the only thing to set me free and win them both.
“Ryan, you don’t have to do that. We can spin this story.”
“I don’t want to spin the story. Her mother went through hell because of me. I won’t make it seem like I was being a good guy when I wasn’t.”
“If that’s what you really want, but I just think it would be easier if we said that you were hiding her.”
I ignored the dissatisfaction in her voice. “Thanks, but I’m good.”
I continued with my other wishes hoping that I wouldn’t have to fire her. “I’ll also need some security for both of them. You know that once I bring them out here things will get crazy.”
It was going to be a shitstorm, but I refused to let that be the reason to not bring them to California. I didn’t want to wait another day. I had waited seven years too long to fix things with them.
She cleared her throat, “What about Amanda?”
“I’ve already told her that it was over months ago.” She hadn’t taken it very well. She thought that we were going to get married. I was never going to marry her. But, I had dated her too long. Given her too much attention. I had dated her for a year, which had been six months too long.
“How did she take it?” Alex knew Amanda well. Amanda had screamed and cried. It was an ugly scene. She thought because she was a super model that I wouldn’t let her go. She was mistaken. Honestly, I was glad she was gone. She was too high maintenance.
I rolled my eyes. “Exactly like you think.”
She laughed.
I wanted to laugh, but I cringed instead. Amanda had put on a show after I broke up with her that was worthy of an Oscar. I had gone so far as giving her a standing ovation while clapping, which had pissed her off even more. She hadn’t loved me. I was a status symbol. She knew it, and I knew it too.
She Got the Best of Me
Luke Comb
My life had always been complicated. I shouldn’t have been surprised that Ryan was throwing another monkey wrench my way. He just didn’t want me to be great.
I had to talk to someone. I knew what I was going to do. I just needed someone to talk things through with about the entire situation.
“What’s wrong?” Haley Williams asked as soon as she picked up the phone.
Haley was my best friend. I had texted her asking her to call me when she was free. We had been best friends since high school. We had only separated when I went to college. But, I came home with Mercy, and she came home from the University of Georgia with honors with a Teaching Certificate.
She helped me out when I needed someone to watch Mercy when me and Adam went out on dates. She had saved my life a number of times while I had gone to classes at night to try to finish my degree. I loved her like a sister.
“Ryan came to see me today.”
There was a slight pause in the conversation. I could tell her wheels were spinning.
“Ryan Cruise, the movie star, as in Mercy’s dad?” she asked sounding like she wasn’t sure who I could have been talking about.
Haley was one of the few people that knew who Mercy’s dad was. I hadn’t even told my ex-husband because I didn’t want him demanding that I contact Ryan for child support payments or try to make me force Ryan to be involved in Haley’s life.
I sighed, “Yes, that Ryan.”
“What did he want?”
I was still floored. I couldn’t believe that he had even come to me. It would feel like karma if he hadn’t wanted to see my daughter.
“He wants to see Mercy.”
“What did you say?” she asked me like she was trying to be cautious with all of her responses. Shouldn’t she be just as outraged as I was even if it was just on my behalf.
“I told him no. Haley, it has been almost seven years. He hasn’t bothered to contact me in any way. Don’t you think it’s too late for him to want to come back and play daddy now?”
“What did he say when you told him no?”
Seriously, Haley?
Why was she giving me an inquisition? I was calling her for advice, not twenty-one questions.
“He said that he would take me to court and try to get joint custody. It doesn’t even make any since. He told me that he would never change his mind. He wanted me to go. He knew I was pregnant with his child, and didn’t give two fucks about me or this baby.”
“I know, Ava.”
I pulled the phone from my ear and frowned. “Well, act like you know. I feel like you are not even on my side, like you believe I should let him see her even though he doesn’t deserve to see her. He walked away from us.”
“He was young, Ava.”
My eyes crossed. “Really, Haley? I was young when he walked away too. I didn’t get to run from my responsibilities because I was scared.” I almost screamed at her through the phone. She was taking his side. I could hear it in her voice.
“I know. What else did he say? Did he apologize?”
Really? Really? I couldn’t believe what she was saying to me right now. Did he apologize? Who gave a damn?
“Yes, he apologized. I don’t give a damn,” I pronounced each word slowly so that she could understand what I was saying to her.
He had left me pregnant with his daughter. Fuck his apology.
“He damn near fucked a girl in front of me to get me to break up with him and leave.” I felt tears rushing from my eyes. Him throwing a random female in my face while I was pregnant with his child had almost destroyed me.
“Ava, it was a dick move. I agree. He was wrong. But it also sounds like a stunt that a boy would make, not a grown man. He was young. You even told me that he was uncomfortable dating a black girl at first and that his friends clowned him about it. I’m sure that probably didn’t help the situation either. Throw in a baby into the mix, and he probably didn’t know what to do.”
So, I was supposed to do what? Forgive him because he was young. Let him see Mercy because now he was ready to be a daddy to his biracial daughter.
Right.
“I don’t think I can forgive him.” He had done so much damage to my heart and my life. I had to work like hell to raise Mercy and go to school. I was embarrassed to admit that meeting and marrying Adam had been a lifesaver. He had cared for me and my daughter, and even if I didn’t love him, he was a good guy. I had been faithful to him. I had given him every part of me that I had left to give.
Ryan had gutted me. He had taken all my love and left nothing else for any other man. Now, he wanted to come back in my life. It wasn’t fair.
“I know. I’m sure it’s hard as hell to forgive someone that did you wrong. I’m not saying it will be easy. In reality, I’m sitting here justifying his behavior, but I’m sure if it was me, I would be pissed off too. I get it. I’m just saying do you think he is going to go away? Do you think it’s a stunt? Do you think he would actually take you to court?”
I closed my eyes remembering how intense he looked. He looked sincere. I believed his words just like I believed his words back in college.
I ignored the fact that he looked like he truly felt remorseful.
His remorse didn’t change his past actions.
“I don’t think it’s a stunt. He could take me to court.” I responded leaning back on my pillow.
“Maybe, you might want to think about it. If he takes you to court, it’s going to be hell on your life. He is rich, sexy, and famous. The paparazzi are going to be all over this story. Everyone will dig up everything they can about you and Mercy. They will camp out in front of your door to get the story. It might be easier to just compromise with him so that this can stay quiet as long as possible.”
<
br /> I closed my eyes thinking about how awful it would be to have the paparazzi swarming everywhere. They would probably try to accost my poor baby and frighten her to death. Even though he was wrong, they would crucify me. I’d probably end up as the bitter black woman that was holding poor, remorseful Ryan’s daughter hostage. Everybody made mistakes when they were young, blah, blah, blah bullshit.
“I don’t want to agree. It feels so unfair that he gets to have his way in this. He didn’t even want her. I could have aborted her, and he wouldn’t have given a damn.” I was frustrated with him. He had no right coming back demanding anything from me.
“I know, Ava. Life is just screwed up sometimes. It isn’t always fair. You know that. You know I know that better than anyone.”
I remembered the fiasco that happened between her and some white guy that she dated in high school. I didn’t know why my dumb ass hadn’t learned from her situation.
“He wants us to visit him for the summer in Beverly Hills.” If I go, how will I handle seeing him every day? Yes, he had stomped all over my heart but attraction didn’t work like that. The body and heart wanted whatever they wanted. They didn’t give a damn what the brain wanted.
Will I fall for him all over again?
It was all too much.
“Maybe it won’t be so bad. You’ll get to see if he’s really sincere about getting to know Mercy. You can watch over your daughter while she’s in his care. Hell, I’ll even come visit if things get too bad for you. We’ll whip his ass together if he gets out of line.”
I laughed a little. I loved her. I didn’t like her being reasonable. I wanted her to agree with me that I should tell him to fuck off.
“You have nothing to lose. He might change his mind about wanting to know Mercy. You really don’t have much of a choice to be honest. You can fight him in court, but I’m sure if he’s serious about seeing Mercy that he’ll bring in all the top guns. And, girl, let’s be honest. You’ll only have a bb gun. This might be the path of least resistance. I know he doesn’t deserve your forgiveness, and I know it hurts like hell. I haven’t forgotten how broken you were when you came home. But, I’m praying it will all work out in the end. This was set in motion a long time ago. You need closure. Mercy will finally meet her dad. You never know what can happen.”
Yeah, I knew what could happen. He could crush my life all over again. He could break me into smaller pieces that I could never put back together again.
Rewind
Rascal Flatts
It was fascinating watching Ava even when she was pissed. Her hands were on her hips, and fire lit her eyes.
She was everything that I remembered. I stood solemnly agreeing with everything that she said. I was just happy that she had called like she had promised. It still hadn’t stopped me from calling Hunt to make sure that she hadn’t left Atlanta.
“This is not a game, Ryan. This is my daughter’s life. I can’t have you screwing her around because you decided the new role you want to play is her dad.”
“I know, Ava. I’m not going anywhere.” I have said this about a dozen times since I had arrived at her place to take them to the airport.
“Right. You’re Mr. Dependable. Got it.”
I blew out a breath. I deserved this. She was not wrong. I was an ass. I had to take her abuse, at least for a little while. I was the one who had left them.
“I deserve that. But, I’m sincere. I want to know Mercy,” I said earnestly. I wanted Ava, but Mercy was important too. She deserved a Dad, and I was that man. I just needed to prove it.
I had let some other man raise her for years, not interfering. But, that time had passed. I wasn’t going to let either one of them get away again. I would allow Ava to believe whatever she wanted, but she and Mercy were mine regardless of what an asshole I had been in the past.
“You damn right you deserve it,” she growled.
I remained calm and collected. I would have to learn to let these snips go by. It was the price of forgiveness. I was sure that I hadn’t even began to grovel in her eyes. Today was the first week of bitterness and anger. I would have to eat that shit up and pretend like it tasted good.
“I’m sorry, Ava. I’m sure I can never say it enough.” Like ever. She would probably make me feel this way forever.
Her body tensed. I had damn screwed up again. I hadn’t sounded contrite enough.
Shit. I couldn’t fuck this up before it even started.
“No, I don’t need you to keep saying it. It’s a waste of your time.” She looked at me sharply.
I know, Ava. I got it. You stayed when I left. I wanted to snap at her, but I held on to my patience by a razor’s edge. She hated me. I got it. Hell, I even deserved it.
“May I meet Mercy now?”
She glared at me for a long time like she wanted to scratch my eyes out.
I wished she would just slap me and get it over with so that we could begin healing.
She finally turned toward the front door where I could see a little girl. My heart started beating fast. I felt almost like I did the first time I got my first big acting part. I felt overwhelmed. I was nervous, and my palms were sweaty.
I had a daughter, and she was mere feet away from me.
I had seen several pictures of her, however, seeing her in person was going to be different.
I was getting what I wanted. And, I wasn’t a hundred percent sure if I was going to be any good at it. But, I was going to try like hell.
It was not every day you got the chance to meet your daughter that you were dumb enough to throw away.
I felt almost speechless.
“Hi, Mercy.” I smiled at my daughter for the first time. She was absolutely beautiful. Her green eyes gazed at me with awe. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was an actor or if it was because I was her Dad. I hoped it was because she was meeting her Dad for the first time. Her brown curls swirled around her mocha face. Her complexion was a mix between Ava and myself. She had her mother’s high cheek bones and my dimples creased her cheeks.
I was in love.
She smiled shyly at me.
My heart punched in my chest. My daughter just stole my heart.
I couldn’t help but smile back. I wasn’t sure what she was thinking. She was probably wondering where the hell I had been. I felt so damn guilty. I had let this little girl go. I had let some other man take on my responsibilities while I was out acting.
I understood Ava’s pain. I had fucked up so royally, and I would never be able to make it up to my daughter or her. I felt tears prick my eyes. How could I make up for the way I had treated them both?
I felt Ava glaring at me. She had every right to be mad at me. But, I was trying. I wouldn’t let Ava ruin this moment. I wouldn’t even let my guilt get in the way of this moment. All I could do was go forward.
“It’s wonderful to finally meet you in person.” I held out my hand for her to shake.
She took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Her hand was so small in mine. She was fragile. I would be very careful with her and her heart.
“I’ve been looking forward to meeting you since Mom told me you were my dad, and we started talking on the phone.”
I could feel Ava’s eyes burning a hole in my back without even turning around. She had introduced me to Mercy over the phone, and I had been calling her all week. I had been shocked that she had even done that much. It had given me hope that we could get pass this.
I had wanted to come to meet Mercy immediately, but Ava told me they were still finishing up last minutes details for the move. If I had my way, they would be staying with me.
“Mercy, do you have your carry-on bag?” Ava asked from right behind me.
“I left it in the living room,” she responded still looking at me.
“Well, go grab it. We don’t want to be late for the plane.” Ava told her.
Mercy ran into the house to grab her bag, and I turned around toward Ava.
“Thanks for l
etting me talk to Mercy all week. She’s a really cool kid. You’ve done a wonderful job with her.”
Ava shook her head. “I did it for Mercy. The last thing that I want my baby to know is that her daddy didn’t want her or that he was willing to take me to court to get custody that he said he would never want.”
Right. Another punch in the stomach. I stood, still taking my medicine. I had to restrain the urge to blurt out I was sorry again. I knew the words meant nothing to her. I would have to prove that I was a good man. That I had grown and matured.
“I’m ready.” I heard Mercy say behind me.
“Cool. We should go.” I turned to Ava. “I’ll have your car shipped to Beverly Hills, but you can drive one of my cars if you need to go somewhere.”
She frowned. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ll just catch an Uber if I need to go somewhere.”
I didn’t want to burst her bubble. Once we landed in California, her life wouldn’t be the same. But, I wouldn’t tell her that. She probably wouldn’t even board the plane if she knew all that coming to Beverly Hills would entail.
“Mercy, I’m looking forward to us getting to know one another.” I said looking down at my daughter.
“Mom, said that we would spend the whole summer with you.”
“Yep, I got a bunch of things planned for us to do so that we can get to know each other.” If she only knew, I had no intentions of letting them return here. It was one of the reasons why I was shipping Ava’s car. They wouldn’t be coming back. I was waging a war. I was fighting for my future, and they had the starring role. I wanted my family.
“What do you like to do?”
I was clueless about what my daughter liked, but I had every intention of fixing that once we arrived in California. I was going to win both of my girls over. Mercy would probably be easier to convince. Her mother was going to be different story. I was positive she would make me work for every little thing, and I would accept the challenge.
Mercy Page 4