Head over Heels for the Holidays

by Jennifer Bernard

  Maya counted on her fingers. “Ten.” Then, for the sake of full disclosure, she added, “Today.”

  The girls all burst out laughing. “And how many days have you been on it?” Kate asked. “About a week?”

  “I’m gonna say about a year, cause that’s how it feels. But yeah, six days, I think. The free trial’s almost over and I’m thinking I want my money back.”

  “Why don’t you just let us set you up?” Jess asked longingly. “You can’t rely on an algorithm.”

  “Jess, be real. You know my rules. I can’t date anyone I might have to arrest. Who do you think you’re going to set me up with? I already know everyone.”

  “You think you know everyone. But maybe you don’t know them as well as you think you do. People have hidden depths. They have other sides you don’t even know about. Also, you know the people who have committed crimes, where as I know the people who have a sweet tooth. I have several excellent choices in mind, especially if you’re able to open your mind a little bit.”

  Maya rolled her eyes. “If you’re talking about your new twenty-one-year-old server with the yin-yang tattoo on his neck, forget about it.”

  Jess’ face fell. “Ignore the tattoo. Look deep into his eyes. He’s an old soul.”

  “Smoking a lot of weed and quoting Rumi doesn’t make someone an old soul. More wine, please.”

  Toni filled her glass with another elaborate swoop of the bottle. “An interesting guy came through the Olde Salt the other night.”

  Maya could only imagine. Working at the town’s historic old saloon brought all kinds of “interesting” people onto Toni’s radar. “Really. Is it his arrest record or the variety of addictions that makes him interesting?”

  “For once, neither.” Toni grinned, unembarrassed by the rowdy crew she ran herd over at the bar. “He’s Scottish and very well-dressed. I think he has money. He left me a massive tip, which is why I remember him. Also, that accent. And his eyes were this lovely green color, almost like melon liqueur—”

  “Alastair Dougal?” Jess exclaimed. “We met him in Lost Souls. He’s very nice, but no no no. He’s all wrong for Maya.”

  Maya bristled. “Why is he all wrong for me? I like well-dressed men with accents.”

  “Because…” Jess shook her head with complete conviction. She relied a lot on her intuition, and Maya occasionally did too. She had a way of sensing things about people that had helped Maya crack a case or two. “He’s too…no. It wouldn’t work at all. He’s got some things to work out and Maya doesn’t have time for that.”

  Toni cocked her head thoughtfully. “Yeah, you might be right about that. He had the wounded hero vibe about him. I never got the lowdown, though. The bar was too busy.”

  “Ethan just told me that Alastair went back to New York.” Maya ended that line of discussion with facts. “So we can all cross him off the list.”

  “Good,” Kate declared. “Because Darius has a guy coming in to train the crew on infectious disease protocol and let me tell you—I saw his website and he is—“ she whistled. “Infectiously sexy.”

  “Oh no.” Maya shook her head as the others booed along with her. “Not good, Kate. Not good. Wipe that from my brain, please.”

  Kate smiled unrepentantly. “Want to see for yourself?”

  “Pass.” How long could an infectious disease training take? He’d be gone in a week or two. He didn’t solve her problem at all. She needed someone who’d be here at least until January.

  Maya sipped her wine, feeling a sense of despondency set in. She’d be best off just accepting reality and bracing for another long single slog through Lost Harbor’s holiday season.

  Jessica gave her a soothing touch on the arm. “Did you ever think that maybe you’re trying to solve the wrong problem?” she said softly.

  “How do you mean?”

  “Having a partner for the holidays is good and all, but wouldn’t it be better if it was someone you were in love with?”

  “Maybe.” Maya dabbed some droplets of wine that had spilled on the table. “But I don’t think…”

  “What?” Jessica prompted when she fell silent. The entire table of friends went quiet, waiting for her to finish her sentence. It was the kind of moment in which she usually deflected and found a way to shift the focus somewhere else. Her business was her business. She solved her own problems.

  Except when she didn’t.

  Take Rune, for example. Hiring Rune to help with her dad was quite possibly the best thing she’d ever done. With his rock-like strength and dry sense of humor, he was magic with Harris.

  Yesterday, Harris had slipped while getting out of bed. He’d found himself on the floor, unable to pull himself up. Luckily his phone was within reach, so he’d called Maya. But she was in a meeting with the town council, so she’d called Rune.

  “On it,” he’d said, calm as could be.

  Harris told her later that Rune had picked him up as if he weighed no more than a bag of yarn. By the time she escaped the meeting and rushed to her dad’s house, he was happily eating ice cream on the dock while Cara fished.

  As she’d chatted with her father, Rune had emerged from the fish house with his medical bag, on his way to see his next patient. A rush of emotion had swept through her—as if he’d lifted a boulder off her shoulders.

  There were a few other emotions in there, but she didn’t want to dig too deep. Rune was her friend. Nothing more.

  And weren’t friends supposed to support you when you needed it? Maybe she should open up more to the friends sitting around the table right now. They were all still waiting patiently for her to complete her thought.

  She cleared her throat. Even though they all knew Jerome, and knew what had happened, they probably didn’t realize how deeply he’d hurt her.

  “I think that part of me might be broken,” she said finally.

  Jess squeezed her arm. “Are you talking about Jerome?”

  Trust her most intuitive and empathetic friend to get it.

  “Yes. Jerome.” Even saying his name aloud brought a stab of remembered pain.

  Kate frowned, as if trying to place the name. “I wasn’t here then. What happened?” Until she’d moved to Lost Harbor recently, Kate had been strictly a summer girl. She hadn’t visited much while she was busy building her legal career.

  Toni and Jessica exchanged a glance. Both of them had been around during the Jerome time.

  “Jerome was a real piece of work,” Toni explained. “He seemed perfect at first, right? He was here overseeing an engineering project, something about the tidal flats.”

  “They were trying to set up a turbine.” Lord knew Maya had heard enough details about it to last a lifetime. “He was the chief engineer. Every time a black man comes to town, my dad invites them over, even if he only had a black grandmother he never even met.”

  “He went hard for you, that’s how I remember it,” Jessica said. “Flowers, dinner at the Nightly Catch, that surprise trip to Vegas.”

  “Yup. He gave me the whirlwind sweep-me-off-my-feet treatment. It worked. I fell in love with him. Like, hard. It was every silly fantasy I’d ever had rolled into one. I was even willing to quit my job for him.”

  Incredible though it seemed at this point—she nearly had.

  Jessica tilted her head, anger flashing in her amber eyes. “I forgot about that. He wanted to steal you away from us, didn’t he?”

  “You’re so dramatic. He was on a fast track, that’s all. He wanted someone who was going to support his career, not the other way around. That was the only thing we really fought about, but it was a big one. I was ready, though. I was going to quit. Then he got transferred and found someone else.”

  “Found someone else?” With her dark eyes flashing, Kate looked like she was ready to throttle him—or at least sue him. “Who? Where? When?”

  “He told me right before the station’s Christmas Eve party. He’d promised to do the Winter Parade with me, so I wasn’t stuck i
n that cruiser waving to the crowd on my own. Everyone knew we were together, everyone expected him to be there. There was even a rumor that he was going to propose at the parade.”

  “Yes, that’s true!” Jessica slapped a hand on the table. “I remember that. Sergeant Hollister even ordered a special cake. He made me put a red heart on it with Maya + Jerome inside the heart.”

  “He did? You never told me that.” Maya pulled her lower lip between her teeth. It was a sweet thing for Hollister to do, but she’d never heard a thing about it until now.

  “After I heard what happened, I rushed over there and turned the heart into a big red-suited Santa Claus. I didn’t want you to be reminded of anything having to do with Jerome.”

  Typical tenderhearted Jessica. As if icing on a cake could make a difference. “Thanks for that. I wish you could have erased Jerome from that entire winter. At every single party, people were asking where he was. I already had presents for him under my tree. He ruined Christmas that year.”

  Kate leaned back in her chair, balancing her glass of wine on her stomach. “Not just that year, huh?”

  “No,” Maya admitted. “The holiday season brings it all back. Every year. It sucks. As soon as they put those decorations up on the streetlights on Main Street, I get into a bad mood. The golden bells, the wreaths, the reindeer sleighs. All it does is make me think of Jerome and how he was cheating on me the whole time.”

  Toni clenched her hands together as if she were throttling someone. “I wish he’d come back so I could kick his ass. Where does he live now? I have some frequent-flyer miles I need to use up.”

  Maya lifted her glass in a toast. “It’s a good thing I’m off the clock. I don’t need to be hearing any threats. Besides, I don’t know where he lives now. I know he and Leanne got married. He sent my dad an invite.”

  “Man, that’s just…” Toni shook her head in disgust. “You’re better off without him, let’s just leave it at that.”

  Of course she agreed with that. No question. After Jerome had broken her heart, she’d turned her focus to her career. Luckily, that had gone very well. Take that, Jerome the Jackass.

  Kate sat forward and settled her forearms on the table. “Now that we’ve established that Jerome was a dick who didn’t come close to deserving you, I have to ask, why are you still hung up on him? When was that, five, six years ago?”

  “Five years ago. And I’m not still hung up on him.”

  “But you think you can’t fall in love again.”

  “Because I haven’t fallen in love again.”

  “But it’s only been five years and you’ve been busy.” Kate’s logic made sense. And yet…

  “It’s just…something that happens inside me. I start liking someone and I think it’s going well, and he thinks it’s going well, and then I just—shut down.” Embarrassed, Maya stared at the swirl of red at the bottom of her wine glass. She didn’t usually talk about this sad situation. In fact, she never had before.

  “Describe ‘shutting down,’” Jessica asked gently.

  “I…stop finding him attractive. I don’t want to kiss him anymore. I find excuses to stay late at work. I don’t answer his texts right away. I make myself see the guy, I might even sleep with him. Just to see, you know? See if that’ll make me like him again. It never works.”

  “Aww.” Jessica settled a comforting hand on her arm. “It sounds like you’re trying to force things when your heart isn’t in it.”

  “Exactly. And that’s because of Jerome. It’s been that way since he left.” She gestured for Toni to refill her glass. “And you know, it’s fine. I don’t need a man to have a good life. I like my life. I’m glad I didn’t leave my job. I worked hard for that position. I like being independent. I would have made a terrible wife for Jerome. I don’t think about him anymore. But as soon as I start liking someone, those walls just rise on up.”

  She swallowed over the lump tightening her throat. There was a reason she never talked about this kind of stuff. Because of this. She liked to project calm and authority, not “hot mess.”

  “Sweetie, why didn’t you ever tell us how much it affected you?” Jessica asked the question, but the other women nodded along with her. A quick glance around the circle showed nothing but sympathy and concern.

  “Because no one needs to see me have a meltdown. It might upset y’all.”

  “Why would it?” Kate frowned.

  “People need me to be strong. And I am.”

  “Yeah, you are strong. But that doesn’t mean you can’t cry sometimes just like the rest of us non-law enforcement types. Maybe if you let yourself grieve for Jerome, you could move on.”

  “I’m over him. There’s nothing to grieve about. I’m glad he left. I’m better off. You know what I’ve been thinking?” Maya ran her thumb around the rim of her glass. “The only thing you can’t do without a man is have a baby. I’ve been thinking I should look into it.”

  “You want a baby?” Toni snatched the glass away from her. “Not another drop for you. I’ll take that wine, thank you.”

  Maya had to laugh. “It’s just something I’m thinking about. I haven’t done anything. Relax, everyone.”

  Her comment had sent shockwaves through the little group. Good—at least they weren’t quizzing her about her love life anymore.

  Kate clapped her hands together. “If you ask me, you’d be a phenomenal mother, Maya. If you decide to do that, I’ll support you one hundred percent. Babysitting, vomit cleanup, whatever you need.”

  Uh oh, what had she gotten into here? She wasn’t really serious about the baby idea. But maybe she was. A few times lately, she’d woken in the middle of the night with a longing she couldn’t pin down.

  “That’s sweet, but don’t go planning any baby showers, please. I can’t make any decisions while I’m under the influence.”

  “The wine?”

  “The holidays,” she corrected with a smile. “They mess me the F up.”

  Her little joke lightened the mood and her friends all relaxed back in their chairs.

  “That’s why all I want now is a little company for the holidays. Is that too much to ask?”

  Toni got to her feet and opened another bottle of wine—a chocolate merlot that meant things were about to get serious.

  “I guess we’re back to square one, then. Maya’s mystery date.” She popped the cork with one smooth move. “Maybe we’re overlooking the most obvious choice of all.”

  “Go solo like I do every other year?” Maya asked.

  “Nope. What about the hunk right under your nose?”

  It took a moment for Maya to figure out who she meant. “You mean Rune?”

  “Is there another hunk living on your dad’s property?”

  “He’s just a friend. Besides—” She broke off, shaking her head.

  “Besides what? If there’s something wrong with him, better tell me because every single girl in town is asking about him.” Toni set the bottle down on the table, while Maya tried to shove aside the image of Rune as Lost Harbor’s newest chick magnet.

  “That’s what’s wrong with him. He’s too attractive. Girls always loved him, even when he was a kid. I think that’s why we became friends, because I got into a fight with him. But no matter how much I glared at him, he just wouldn’t stop trying to be friends with shy Maya Badger with her braces and her purple bear barrettes.”

  “I already liked him, but now I like him even more,” Kate declared. “Just imagine showing up to Mrs. Bellini’s cookie exchange with Rune Larsen, hunky nurse. If that wouldn’t wipe away all those Jerome memories, I don’t know what would.”

  The image that formed in her mind was hard to resist, that was for sure. Everyone in town was curious about Rune. Why wouldn’t they be interested in a handsome, friendly, effortlessly sexy man like Rune? “I don’t want to mess with our friendship. And he’s living at my dad’s. It could get awkward.”

  “Not if you set the terms at the beginning.” Trust
Kate to take the legal approach.

  “You’re going to draw me up a contract?” said Maya dryly.

  “Absolutely. Holiday Dating Agreement. Item One: Both parties shall be available for any and all holiday events unless otherwise specified.”

  Jessica laughed with delight, while Maya shook her head at their silliness. “Item Two: There shall be no flirting with parties not included in the agreement,” Jess chimed in. “We don’t want a repeat of the Jerome fiasco.”

  With a snort, Toni added, “Item Three. Bonus points for party clothes that show off those muscles.”

  “Don’t forget item four.” Maya figured she might as well get in on this too.

  “Go for it,” Kate urged. “What’s item four?”

  “No falling in love.”

  Her friends all booed and gave the thumbs down to that one. But as far as she was concerned, it was the most important item of all. Her relationship with Rune was far too enjoyable to risk ruining it with love, even if she were still capable of it.

  No, she’d stick with friendship, respect, and flat-out ignoring her secret attraction to him. Someone on that app would do just fine for a temporary holiday boyfriend.

  Chapter 8

  About two months until Christmas …

  * * *

  Rune got the feeling that Maya was avoiding him. He tried to time his sessions with Harris Badger to match Maya’s daily visits. Sometimes it worked, but often he’d walk into the lingering scent Maya had left behind—the scent of cocoa butter and missed opportunities. Harris was always in a good mood after a visit from Maya, while Rune would be frustrated that he’d missed her.

  He kept inviting her to the little fish house, but he noticed that she usually accepted only the invitations that included Cara.

  Like picking the last currants in the woods bordering the property. Or helping Cara pull together a Halloween costume for the upcoming Haunted Harbor event. Or when she stopped by to explain “termination dust” on the day the first dusting of snow appeared on the high peaks across the bay. Apparently it meant that summer was officially “terminated.”