The Man I Thought I Knew

by E. L. Todd

  I did feel guilty about that.

  “You’ve got to tell her at some point, right? I mean, if you want to keep seeing her.”

  “I do want to keep seeing her.”

  “Then just do it,” he said with a shrug. “Hey, are you going to the lingerie party tomorrow night? Brad and Joel are both down.”

  “Of course they are.”

  “You coming?”

  I’d been doing all the typical billionaire playboy bullshit for the last year, and it felt just as empty as my broken marriage. It was inappropriate to be there when I had an exclusive relationship with someone, even if she wasn’t my girlfriend or something more. “No.”

  “What? You’re joking.”

  “No.”

  “It’s sexy women in panties…”

  “I understand that, Clint,” I said sarcastically. “I just googled the word lingerie.”

  “And you aren’t going to go?”

  “I’m seeing Carson.”

  “You don’t have to fuck anybody. You can at least look.”

  I’d rather see Carson in lingerie. I still had her pictures on my phone. “You’ll have fun without me.”

  “There’s no doubt of that. I just feel bad for you.”

  “Don’t.”

  He drank from his glass. “What’s so interesting about this reporter? Reporters are the worst, man.”

  “They’re only the worst when you have something to hide.”

  “Well, I do have things to hide.”

  “Oh, I know.”

  “But for real?” he asked. “I’m sure she’s beautiful, but aren’t they all?”

  There were beautiful women everywhere, but beauty was the least important thing to me now. Beauty wasn’t synonymous with good. I’d been seduced by my ex-wife, who was gorgeous, but it was all a ploy—and I fell for it. It was a hard lesson to learn, but it opened my eyes to the world, showed me that there were more important attributes than looks, such as heart, integrity, and honesty. When I heard Carson telling off that guy in the booth, I listened to every single word, grew more enamored of this woman with a spine harder than mine, than most suits I knew. I was attracted to her strength, her integrity, her ambition—without even seeing her face. I was sitting in a different booth, so I only heard her voice.

  But that was enough for me.

  I’d gotten up to see what she was drinking, and when I saw her long brown hair, those bright green eyes, those gorgeous legs from underneath her dress…I knew I’d hit the jackpot. I knew there wasn’t another woman like her, and despite my baggage, I had to make something happen. The woman I was originally meeting was a fuck buddy, and I knew Carson didn’t have the right qualities to be another notch in my bedpost. She was more than that, and I knew it before I even spoke to her.

  But I went for it anyway.

  I took off my shirt and left it on the bleachers before I joined the guys on the court. They passed me the ball, and I dribbled toward the hoop and made my shot.

  All net.

  We ran back and forth, working up a sweat, taking our warm-up as seriously as a real game. Sweat dripped down my forehead and chest and made my skin shine under the lights. When Charlie, Matt, and Carson walked in, I called time-out and walked over to them.

  Charlie had become a friend quickly because he was a good guy. Instead of being jealous or uncomfortable by Carson’s close friendship with a handsome guy, I chose to accept it. Being around them showed me how platonic that relationship was, the way she took me to her apartment and was all over me with Charlie just across the hall. I hadn’t believed a straight man and woman could just be friends, but they proved me wrong.

  Carson was in little gym shorts and a black tank top. Her thick hair was slicked back into a ponytail, and since she got sweaty on the court, she skipped the makeup. But her features were so distinguished that she didn’t really need makeup in the first place. Her eyes were bright entirely on their own, her lips a naturally red color. Her complexion was luminous too, like she took good care of her skin even though she didn’t seem to get a full eight hours of sleep every night.

  She was gorgeous but also one of the boys.

  I loved it.

  I moved to Charlie first. “Hey, man.”

  He closed his fist and tapped his knuckles against mine since my hands were so sweaty. “Ready for this?”

  “I’m already worn out from the warm-up, so not so much.”

  I greeted Matt next. He’d hit it off with my friend Jeremy and they were still seeing each other, and from what Jeremy told me, it was a good match.

  Finally, I turned to Carson. “Hey, sweetheart.”

  “Hey.” When she first looked at me, she had a slightly guarded look. It wasn’t the expression she used to give me, the same one she gave her friends. But it went away, and her eyes moved up and down my body, looking at my hard physique covered in sweat.

  I moved closer to her, my hands cupping her waist as I bent my neck down to look at her. Without her heels, she was significantly shorter than me, so our height differences were apparent. But she was still sexy, still perfect that way.

  She didn’t care if I touched her with sweaty palms since she would work up a sweat heavier than anyone else. She softened noticeably the longer I touched her, the closer we came together. She tilted her head up to look at me, her eyes always fierce, like she could say a smartass comment at any moment.

  I loved that sass. It was one of the things that attracted me to her in the first place. I didn’t realize what I wanted in a woman until I met her. Someone independent, who could think for herself, who wasn’t afraid to call bullshit when she saw it. She could stand up to men twice her size without blinking.

  So fucking sexy.

  “I’m excited to guard you for the next hour.”

  She smiled slightly, but her eyes filled with attitude. “I don’t need you to protect me, Dax.”

  “I know you don’t.” She had thick skin, like rhino hide. But I wanted to keep her safe, regardless. I was protective of her around the guys, not just because she was mine, but because I’d rather die than see her get hurt. “But I want to.”

  Most of the guys were faster than her as we sprinted across the court. But she made up for it with her agility, because she was better at handling the ball, passing it discreetly, and her deep connection to Charlie made them great teammates. It was almost cheating because their communication was practically telepathic.

  I chose to cover her because I kept my distance and didn’t treat her as an adversary. I tried to steal the ball and box her in, but I never became aggressive like the other guys, and when I blocked her, I kept the other guys off her if they tried to steal the ball. So two birds with one stone.

  At the end of the match, her team won and we lost.

  Again.

  We left the court and walked over to the benches where our towels and waters were. Most of the guys headed straight to the locker room. Charlie took a seat and dumped the contents of his bottle on his head before he patted himself dry.

  Carson dried off with a towel before she drank everything out of her bottle. Her legs were toned and chiseled, like aerobic exercise kept her body lithe and athletic. She had a flat stomach and large breasts, big enough that they almost looked disproportionate.

  But they were nice tits.

  I’d like to tit-fuck her sometime.

  I sat beside Carson and drank my water. “You were good out there.”

  “I play to win.”

  “Yeah?” I smiled, loving her bluntness. “What happens when you don’t win?”

  “Learn from my mistakes and try again.”

  And I liked her attitude. She didn’t take failure as a defeat, but rather as a stepping-stone. She didn’t get offended easily, wasn’t sensitive at all, and she held her head high, like one of the guys. Her fierce sense of independence came from somewhere, but I wasn’t sure where. I hadn’t spent much time with her sister, but she seemed very different from Carson, and not
just because she was blond.

  “Guys, if we don’t eat, I’m going to die,” Matt said. “Like, literally.”

  “Literally?” Charlie asked incredulously.

  “Yeah,” Matt said. “That’s what I said.”

  Charlie shook his head. “You know that’s impossible, right?”

  “No, it’s not,” Matt argued. “If you don’t eat, you’ll die at some point.”

  “If you don’t eat for like three weeks.” Charlie drank from his water bottle. “I think you’ll make it an hour.”

  “You guys want pizza or sandwiches?” Matt asked. “Sandwiches are quicker, so I think I want sandwiches.”

  “I’d eat a possum right now, so I don’t care.” Carson placed her towel over her shoulder.

  “A possum?” I eyed her, amused.

  “I’m starving.” She turned to me.

  “No wonder you don’t like fancy places,” I teased.

  She narrowed her eyes at me and gave me a playful hit on the arm before she stood up. “Let’s go. I think Charlie and I deserve a victory meal for kicking everyone’s ass.” She walked up to him and gave him a high five.

  “Yep.” Charlie patted his face once more before he followed her.

  I walked beside Charlie. “What’s new with you?”

  “Nothing,” he said. “Just working a lot. I’ve had to pick up a colleague’s work because he’s on sick leave.”

  “Is he going to be okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” Charlie said. “He developed a hernia and needed immediate surgery. Shit happens, you know?”

  “Yeah.”

  We left the gym and went to the sandwich shop. I walked behind Carson and Matt while I continued to talk to Charlie, my eyes on her perky ass most of the time. Other men who walked by craned their necks to look at it before they continued forward.

  We walked inside, and one by one, we ordered our food.

  I wanted to offer to pay for Carson’s dinner, but that would turn into an argument.

  After she ordered, she stepped aside for me to order.

  “I’ll get the turkey club with the combo.”

  “And we’re together.” Carson pointed between us as she looked at the cashier. She pulled out some cash from a hidden section of her phone.

  “Sweetheart, you don’t have to do that.” I appreciated the gesture, but she worked hard for her salary, and I had a ton of zeros in my bank account. It didn’t seem right to accept anything from her. But at the same time, it was nice to be with a woman who didn’t expect anything from me, who wasn’t in love with my wallet instead of me.

  She handed over the money then stuck her tongue out at me. “It’s happening. We aren’t doing that bullshit thing where the guy pays for everything. This is a two-way street, man.” She picked out a bag of chips then walked to the beverage station, filling her cup with ice and a soda before sitting next to Charlie in the booth near the window.

  Matt ordered his food then scooted down the line. “She’s a pain in the ass, isn’t she?”

  I grinned. “I don’t mind.” I grabbed chips and an empty soda cup.

  “Really? She’s a pain in the ass to me.” He grabbed his chips and turned away.

  “I know you don’t mean that.”

  “Oh, I do.” He filled his soda then walked to the table.

  I did the same then glanced at them together. Charlie had just said something to make Carson laugh, and she ripped open her bag of chips and spilled them all over her napkin and the table. But she ate them anyway.

  I joined them, sitting beside Matt and across from Carson. We were all tired from the game, our hair still damp with sweat, and our muscles screamed in exhaustion. Carson devoured her bag of chips, picking them off the table and popping them into her mouth.

  “Are you going to kiss her after seeing that?” Charlie asked, holding his bag of chips in one hand while his other hand dug inside and fished out a piece.

  “What?” she asked, raising an eyebrow before continuing.

  “You’re literally eating off the table.” Matt eyed her.

  “You say literally a lot,” she fired back.

  “It’s a good word.” Matt grabbed a handful of chips and put them into his mouth. “So, are you?” He turned to me.

  “It takes more than a few dirty chips to scare me off.” I left my bag on the table and stared at her, my arms resting on the surface. Even when she looked her worst, she looked her best to me. Her fire kept me warm, her intelligence was refreshing, and she was quick with the comebacks. It was the first time I’d been with a woman where she was more than just a lover, but also a close friend. I could tease her, pick on her, have a hobby with her like playing basketball.

  She smiled before she grabbed the last chip off the table. “This guy is all man.”

  Matt continued to stare at me, his eyes turning dreamy. “I know…”

  Charlie kicked him under the table. “Don’t come on to him.”

  “What?” Matt asked incredulously. “I’m just agreeing with Carson.”

  “It’s fine,” Carson said. “I’m sure tons of women come on to Dax all the time, so he’s used to it.” She looked at my bag of chips. “Are you going to eat those?”

  A smile came onto my lips, and I flicked them closer to her. “Go for it, sweetheart.”

  “Do a lot of women come on to you?” Matt asked.

  I kept looking at Carson, unsure how to answer the question. “No one compared to Carson.”

  Charlie nodded as he ate his chips. “Ooh…good answer.”

  Carson opened my bag of chips and started to eat. “He’s just being humble. I’m sure supermodels want his nuts all the time,” she said playfully without a hint of jealousy, and that was something else that made her cool. She wasn’t easily intimidated.

  When I asked her to skip the condoms, I was disappointed by her answer, but I also understood she wasn’t ready, that she still had her guard up because we’d only known each other for about a month. She hit the brakes every time I hit the gas, but it was good that one of us was controlling the pace so we wouldn’t crash.

  I didn’t respond to her statement because she was right. But they didn’t just want me for me, but because I was a powerful suit with a nice penthouse, my name on the front door of my building. I could get pussy with my looks, but I suspected the money was sexier than my appearance.

  I should be grateful for my inheritance, but the money felt like a disservice sometimes. It ruined my life, made people treat me differently, gave me respect from strangers that I didn’t deserve. It trapped me in a marriage based on a lie, made me love a woman who never loved me, not even on our wedding day.

  Our sandwiches were brought to us.

  “Thank god,” Matt said, unwrapping the sandwich immediately and taking a bite big enough to rival the jaw of a dinosaur. He even tore through the bread with his teeth, ripping off the piece before he chewed.

  Carson ate quickly, just not ferociously. Her hand dived into my bag of chips, and she ate those at the same time.

  We turned quiet, our mouths full.

  Charlie ate with his elbows on the table, hovering over his food.

  Matt demolished everything in record time.

  I ate with my eyes on Carson, seeing the way she shifted between sandwich and chips, her eyes on her food instead of me. When she noticed my stare, she turned her bag of chips toward me so we could share.

  “That’s generous…”

  She narrowed her eyes playfully and took another bite.

  I reached my hand inside and grabbed a chip before I continued eating. We ate in comfortable silence, like I was part of the group. I’d infiltrated their ranks and felt like I belonged there. We didn’t talk about money, the next hot club, when we would take a yacht out…nothing like that. Life was simple, really simple.

  And it was nice.

  Twenty-Two

  Dax

  I sat on the couch in my penthouse, working on my laptop with the TV on, th
e breathtaking view of the city in front of me, the Manhattan lights bright. I was in my sweatpants and a t-shirt, scrolling through reports and paperwork.

  The doorbell rang before the chef stepped inside. “Good evening, Mr. Frawley.” He let himself inside and headed to the table.

  “Hello, Chef.” I kept my eyes on my computer.

  He moved to the table and set up my dinner before he quietly excused himself.

  I closed my laptop and walked over to the dining table. There was a Cab from 1970 on the table along with a filled glass, and he’d left a plate of fresh fish with sautéed vegetables with a green salad.

  I sat down and ate alone.

  My penthouse was in the corner of the building, so I had views from almost anywhere in the apartment. I looked outside as I ate, seeing the light from a helicopter in the distance. The double-paned glass made it impossible to hear the sounds of the city outside, and it gave me a false feeling of calm when there were sirens going off everywhere, pedestrians talking loudly, restaurants packed with people.

  I drank my wine and felt the emptiness inside me…deep inside.

  My phone buzzed with a text message. Your sister is here to see you. Shall I let her up?

  I texted back the security officer in the lobby. Yeah.

  She just got into the elevator.

  I didn’t get up and continued to eat.

  The doors opened a minute later straight into the living room. She stood in the center, in jeans and a blouse, wearing heels that gave her extra inches in height. She had a folder under her arm, and she welcomed herself inside. A watch was on her wrist, and her clothes showed her station in life. “Didn’t mean to interrupt your meal.”

  “It’s fine. You want some?”

  “No. But I’ll take a glass of that wine.” She set the folder down and helped herself to a glass in the kitchen before she returned. She sat down and filled the glass before she smelled it. “I love French wine.” She swirled it and took a sip. “1980?”