Daring to Rest

by Karen Brody

  Passing on the Daring to Rest gift looks different for everyone. You may feel inspired to become trained to teach this program to others, or you may want to invite a friend or family member to dare to rest with you.

  Sharing yoga nidra is a beautiful way to spread love. I consider couples yoga nidra meditation the best therapy ever. You and your partner wake up feeling kind and gentle toward each other. All the hard-line positions you argued about that day or that week fall away. It’s like rebooting your relationship from zero. Family yoga nidra night is also delicious—a great way to come together and train your kids early to appreciate rest.

  You may also want to get a partner or group of women and go through the Daring to Rest program together. Just like doing a yearly gut cleanse, planning to practice the Daring to Rest program yearly or even quarterly, with the seasons, will help you feel well rested and spread the yoga nidra magic to others. Gather your friends or neighbors to do it together.

  I know men need yoga nidra meditation too. Men feel worn out in their bodies because of busy days and tiring messages like “man up” and “nice guys finish last.” Many men have been raised in ways that do not feed their feminine desire to receive and show love. Many mothers today, myself included, are trying to change this as we raise our boys. But most men know only their masculine side because this is what our culture appreciates in men. Yoga nidra meditation is clearly needed in the workplace for both men and women. We women cannot change our culture and how women have been treated for centuries without healthy and peaceful men by our sides. More and more men want to change the culture too, and they want to feel more peace; they just don’t have the skills and language to do so yet. Inviting them to lie down and practice yoga nidra meditation, so they can feel peace, is a start. Please, if there’s a man in your life, even a neighbor who’s suffering, introduce him to yoga nidra meditation.

  Yoga nidra is also an opportunity for you to connect deeply and feel with another person, something that is much needed in our “do it alone” culture. When Sarah, from one of my yoga nidra programs, spent a weekend with a close girlfriend who was going through a rough time in her marriage, she invited her friend to lie down and practice yoga nidra meditation with her.

  “We could have chosen to distract ourselves by going out to get food or doing something else together,” Sarah told me, “but it didn’t feel right to do that. It felt like we had to close the emotional loop, and respect it.” Using yoga nidra helped them both be still and in the moment—together.

  “It felt so beautiful to help hold this space for someone else, and of course myself,” Sarah shared. “It felt wonderful to lie down with yoga nidra together and essentially say, let’s feel.”

  Another beautiful way to share yoga nidra is with someone you are in conflict with. If you feel unable to forgive someone, perhaps practice yoga nidra a few times by yourself, but imagine the other person there, sharing in the peace and tranquility of yoga nidra with you. Then, if it feels right, invite that person to practice yoga nidra with you. This is a great first step to compassion and forgiveness when you don’t have the words yet. But please invite others only when you feel well rested. I don’t encourage women to share yoga nidra with anyone before they have nurtured themselves. This is a problem right now in our culture: we don’t nurture ourselves. We help others feel better, we take care of them, from a state of exhaustion. And it’s not working. This is why it’s essential for you to experience the entire Daring to Rest program, let yourself be nurtured, and then share it when you’re well rested. If you’re a mom, I’m especially addressing you. Don’t let the kids lie next to you while you practice yoga nidra unless you feel your cup is full. Give to yourself first, and then give to others from a well-rested place.

  Yoga nidra is also a wonderful group activity for women who work together. I’m an activist and entrepreneur, and I work with many other women who are passionate about changing the world but wrestle with the passion that fuels their work. Burnout is well known to these women. But when they come together with other women to practice yoga nidra meditation, they begin to commit to their well-being on a deeper level. And then I get excited because this is the takeoff point to all transformation.

  Remember: Chuck Perfect

  Yoga nidra is now your friend for life. There will be days when you cannot practice yoga nidra meditation because you’re needed elsewhere, and there will be days when life feels like it’s falling apart. That’s okay; yoga nidra is very forgiving. If you forget about it for a week, a month, or maybe even years, like I did, it will quickly welcome you back. All you do is lie back down and listen. And then listen to your soul whisper, a messenger that always knows: You’ve got this.

  Optional: Practices to Stay Well-Rested for Life

  Following are practices to help you embrace your well-rested woman. There’s no perfect science to staying well rested, but it is essential that you develop ways to honestly check in with yourself and to use practices to stay connected to your most vital authentic self.

  Assess How Rested You Are

  Several years ago, I interviewed sleep specialist Dr. Rubin Naiman, and he pointed out that babies’ lives revolve around three questions: (1) are they sleeping? (2) are they pooping? and (3) are they progressing developmentally? When we become adults, we stop asking these basic questions about our health and well-being. Yet he points out that when we don’t ask them as adults we suffer, self-defeating habits continue, and exhaustion grows.

  In the context of rest, these useful questions relate well to the three phases of the Daring to Rest program. Following is a Daring to Rest assessment to help you determine what phase needs your attention to help you feel healthy and well rested.

  1.Rest: Am I rested in my body? Am I getting enough sleep? If you answered no to these questions, then your physical and energy bodies need attention. In addition to practicing the Phase One: Rest Meditation, use some of the optional practices to help balance these two bodies.

  2.Release: Am I feeling peace and clarity of mind? Am I able to forgive others? Am I able to receive love from others? Is there something I’m not letting go of—anger, fear, or shame? Do I feel my wild nature? This is a phase where many people feel stuck. If this is you, give some attention to your mental, wisdom, and bliss bodies. Practice the Phase Two: Release Meditation and use some optional practices in chapters seven, eight, and nine to help balance these bodies.

  3.Rise: Am I living my purpose? Am I following my big dreams from my heart? Do my dreams and purpose feel like an expression of my true nature? If you’re holding back on living with purpose, or following a model of leading that feels too fast and out of sync with who you are, then it’s time to pay attention to themes and do some of the optional practices in chapters ten and eleven. Lie down and practice the Phase Three: Rise Meditation.

  Use Your Touchstone

  Throughout the Daring to Rest journey, optional practices have invited you to use your touchstone on various parts of your body during your yoga nidra meditation. Now that your forty-day journey is coming to a close, here is one more way to keep using your touchstone.

  Hold your touchstone in your hand with your eyes closed, ideally at your altar if you have created one. Imagine the insights you’ve had on your Daring to Rest journey, the first intention you started with, your soul whispers, and all your big dreams. Infuse your touchstone with the wisdom you’ve received during these forty days, welcoming both the dark and the light. Envision your well-rested woman, and if you wish, give your touchstone a name. Carry it with you or keep it on your altar or in your rest cave to remind you of your well-rested woman. Many pregnant women take their touchstone into their birth experience, menstruating women take it out during their periods, and menopausal women take it out when they feel hot flashes or any transitional moments. Another great time to keep it with you is monthly, on the full or new moon.

  Refresh Your Altar or Rest Cave

  If you created an altar and/or rest cave during yo
ur Daring to Rest journey, this is a great time to clean them up or change them up. Buy a new candle. Write down your current big dream or primary intention and place it in your space if you haven’t already. Burn dried sage, cedar, or palo santo and wave it around your altar space. This clears old energy, so you can welcome your new, well-rested energy. Add items that invite vitality and align with your true nature, from poems to physical objects. You may want to place the soul whispers board or book that you created in chapter ten on your altar or in your cave and continue to add your new soul whispers. This is a great place to keep your essential oils if you’re using them during your yoga nidra meditations.

  Also, if you don’t have time to communicate with your Council of Women during or just after your yoga nidra meditations, your altar or rest cave is a great place to come, light a candle, take a few slow, deep breaths, and ask them for guidance.

  Optional: Diving Deeper

  Looking to dive more deeply into your Daring to Rest journey and your future practice of yoga nidra? Consider these Daring to Rest optional prompts:

  •What are three things you learned about yourself during your Daring to Rest journey? Freewrite about this topic.

  •Freewrite in your journal about your soul whispers.

  •Draw a picture of yourself living a well-rested lifestyle.

  •Pick a song and dance to it as a well-rested woman. Consider using the song you heard in chapter ten as your “gold.”

  •What is your plan to practice yoga nidra moving forward? How often will you practice?

  •List three people you want to share yoga nidra with and why. Describe how you would share yoga nidra with them. Be specific. (Where and when?)

  Key Points in Chapter Eleven

  •When crafting a well-rested lifestyle, it’s important to see how all three phases of the Daring to Rest program—resting, releasing, and rising—are essential ingredients of the pie that is your life.

  •To determine how much yoga nidra meditation you need after the Daring to Rest program, take the Daring to Rest assessment.

  •Share yoga nidra meditation with others.

  •Remember: You’ve got this.

  Epilogue

  FINAL YOGA NIDRA POMPOM SHAKE

  Toward the end of writing this book, I bruised my left ribs badly when I slammed into a woman who set a blind pick during a game of three-on-three basketball. That evening, though it was clear why my ribs hurt, my body felt as though it were in mild shock. My mind was in overdrive, and sleeping, even breathing, was not going to be easy. So I put in my earbuds and plugged into a yoga nidra meditation. Not surprisingly, my body immediately calmed down.

  The next morning, my husband took me to get an X-ray. Just getting out of bed was tough, and by the time we got to the radiology center, I was exhausted from the pain. After we checked in, I sat in the waiting room and plugged back into my yoga nidra meditation. As I was escorted to get X-rays, I felt deeply relaxed.

  “How are you doing?” the technician asked as he adjusted my body in front of the machines.

  “There is pain,” I said, “but I’ve just been doing yoga nidra meditation, so I’m relaxed.”

  “I meditate,” he said, “but I never heard of yoga nidra meditation.”

  By the end of the X-rays, I had told him all about yoga nidra: nap, meditation, deep sleep.

  “You had me at nap,” he said.

  I smiled.

  Back in the waiting room, my husband asked, “Why are you smiling?”

  “Because he wants what I got,” I said, remembering years ago when I had the same reaction the first time I found out there was a technique that combined meditation and sleep. I felt like I’d hit the meditation jackpot. I still do, which is why I keep shaking my yoga nidra pompoms. And I hope now that you’ve discovered how well rested, peaceful, and alive you can feel with yoga nidra, you do too.

  Welcome to the Daring to Rest sisterhood. It has been my pleasure to help you lie down to wake up. Keep daring to rest, chucking perfect, and dreaming big. You are enough.

  Be good to yourself.

  GRATITUDE

  I am deeply thankful to all the women in my yoga nidra programs for your courage to rest. Your love and yoga nidra pompom-shaking with me have meant everything and have deeply informed this book.

  A huge bow of gratitude to the women who shared their yoga nidra meditation stories with me for this book: Deborah, Mae, Monique, Margreet, Aditi, Tanya, Sarah, Maude, Cindy, Maria, Liz, Rachel, Genevieve, Billie, Charlene, and Judith. Some stories made it into the book, and many didn’t, but all of your stories helped to elevate this book. Your enthusiasm for the magic of yoga nidra and the Daring to Rest program warms my heart.

  To my editor, Amy Rost: I could not have written this book without you. The fact that you also have a great sense of humor and grace was beautiful icing on the cake.

  Thanks to everyone on my team at Sounds True: especially Lindsey, Christine, and Sarah. You rock, women. And Jennifer Brown, thanks for believing in this book and for your positive, joyful nature.

  To my agents, Janet Rosen and Sheree Bykofsky: Thanks for your faith in this book from the beginning.

  To my yoga nidra mentors Kamini Desai, John Vosler, Renu, Yogi Amrit Desai, Anne Douglas, Robin Carnes, and Richard Miller: Your love for yoga nidra has touched me so very deeply and inspired me to share it with others.

  To David Wright, for sharing your “Feminine Highway” exercise and all our incredible healing sessions. Thanks, my friend.

  To the women in my writing and meditation group, Mary Hartley, Mert, Minal, Archie, Denise, Desiree, and Lezlie: Thanks for listening to very early drafts of this book and cheering me on as I wrote. Your sisterhood was invaluable.

  To yogini and mamapreneur Alston Taggart, who believed in elevating yoga nidra to the next level, and in my vision, and spent hours helping me create all the initial design work. Your faith and friendship kept me dreaming big.

  To Deborah Sullivan, thank you for providing the beautiful anointing rituals for the Rest, Release, and Rise phases. Your passionate love of yoga nidra, women, and the world inspires me. I have learned so much from you.

  To Dr. Rubin Naiman, a sleep specialist who speaks the language of sleep medicine that our world so desperately needs to hear. When I found your book, everything I’d been observing about women’s sleep issues made sense.

  To Dr. Christiane Northrup, for courageously modeling how to change a women’s health paradigm when I was a young woman looking for someone to boldly point out the obvious. And to all the new-paradigm health-care professionals who prescribe meditation and deep rest before medication.

  To R.: Thank you for being my beautiful friend, inside and out, and for your poetic and often hilarious words that have lifted me to the highest vibration even at the lowest times. I love you.

  To my father: You’re always with me. Thanks for standing beside me, like a soul whisper, as I wrote this book.

  To my mother: Thanks for your constant and unconditional support, love, and laughter. I feel so lucky every day.

  To Tim, Jacob, and Aden: I now know why authors thank their families for all the sacrifices made to help their books get written. You guys made them all. Thanks for your love—always. I love you back. Your support helps me be bold in the world.

  Finally, I thank Charlotte Perkins Gilman for daring not to rest. May it inspire women today to take back rest as a form of liberation.

  Appendix 1

  SCRIPTS FOR DARING TO REST YOGA NIDRA MEDITATIONS

  You can download recordings of each of my yoga nidra meditations from the Daring to Rest page on the Sounds True website: SoundsTrue.com/daringtorest/yoganidrameditations. Or you can use the following scripts to record them in your own voice. They are best read slowly, clearly, and with frequent pauses. Also, keep your voice monotone—this isn’t a theatrical reading. During the meditation, you do not want to be influenced by the emotional tone of any words.

  Have a clock o
r watch with a second hand available so that you can time the specific pauses asked for in the scripts.

  Phase One: Rest Meditation

  Time: Approximately 15 minutes

  Close your eyes.

  Begin to feel yourself moving back from your everyday life. You’re taking a journey to be good to yourself, to return to yourself, to rest deeply.

  You’re safe and protected in this space.

  Water returns to a river, just as you return to yourself. Feel this.

  (Pause for 10 seconds.)

  Allow your body to be as comfortable as possible. Sink deep into the earth. Let the ground hold you. Relax. Let go.

  Take a deep breath in, and exhale slowly, letting tension melt away.

  Be still.

  (Pause for 5 seconds.)

  Whether you consciously hear this voice guiding you or not, there is a part of you that is always awake and will hear this voice. You do not have to do anything.

  You are now entering the yoga nidra cave. It’s time to dare to rest and go within.

  In this peaceful place, start feeling your Daring to Rest intention.

  Repeat your intention to yourself. State it in the present tense—like, “I am a well-rested woman” or “I am whole”—as though it’s happening right now.

  Let your intention come from your heart, not your head. Feel it in your entire body.

  (Pause for 10 seconds.)

  Now it’s time to journey into the body. As a body part is named, feel any blocked energy dissolve, and allow that body part to relax deeply. (Read the following list in the numbered order, but do not speak the numbers.)

  1.Space between the eyebrows

  2.Hollow of the throat