Heaven's Loss (Hell Yeah!)

by Sable Hunter

  …As dawn broke and the bright rays of the morning streaked across the eastern sky, Canyon rolled over to stare at the clock on the bedside table. “Time to get up.”

  He stretched, laying there for a moment – waiting. He breathed in a sweet fragrance, bringing the spare pillow over his face to find the source of the intriguing scent. “Hmmm, something smells good.”

  For long moments, Canyon lay there.

  Waiting.

  For what he didn’t know. What was different?

  He let his mind wander, striving to remember the reason for this sense of loss that was making his chest ache. “Hmmm.” Coming up empty, he sat up, slinging his legs over the side of the bed.

  “What the fuck?” He picked up a gallon pickle jar half full of water. “I must have really been thirsty during the night.” Shrugging, he set it back down. “What’s the deal, Brady?” He felt like he’d forgotten something important.

  After a few more moments of contemplation, he stood. “Odd. It’ll come to me, I guess.”

  Even stranger, his arms felt empty, but he had no idea why.

  PART TWO

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  An unidentified sound drew Seren from a deep sleep. For the space of about twenty seconds, happiness made her smile. Lying in Canyon’s arms with her head on his broad shoulder, all was right with the world.

  As she lay there, breathing peacefully, one thought led to another and the sad series of events came roaring into her mind.

  Raymond Poe’s death. Gregori’s judgment. The prospect of never seeing Canyon again.

  Yet…she was still here.

  Clinging to him, Seren considered what might have changed. Did this mean she could stay?

  Out of nowhere, a great rushing noise swirled around her. Seren’s vision clouded as she was swept up into a whirlwind of light. Holding onto nothing, gravity lost its meaning. Blackness surrounded her as she was buffeted about, free falling through time and space.

  “Canyon!” she screamed with all her might.

  Then…stillness.

  Her fingers raked over cement as she rolled over staring up into the sky. “Where?” was the only word she managed to get out before a blaring car horn brought Seren stumbling to her feet.

  “Hey, lady, get out of the road before you get run over!”

  She jumped back onto the curb, realizing she’d landed in the median of a busy road. After regaining her footing, Seren noticed she recognized the spot. This was the same area where she’d sent Raymond Poe into the ditch to avoid a head-on collision with Canyon. A deep sense of shame quaked through her body, a double-edged sword. Regret for the death of an innocent man, yet no regret Canyon survived. How the two juxtaposing truths could coexist within her was a mystery.

  Taking a couple of deep breaths, Seren sought to regain her bearings. She’d been teleported from Canyon’s bed to land only several miles away. If she started out now, she could be back at his house within the hour. Amid her heartbroken confusion, a mild curiosity arose as to Gregori’s motive for leaving her so close to the place where she most longed to be. If she’d been asked to guess where he’d take her, she would’ve said Mongolia or Kalamazoo. Instead, she was here, so close. So close – and yet so far. The only answer was that this was another test.

  Fine.

  She could pass the damn test.

  A most powerful incentive powered her determination – to keep Canyon safe. This was one last protective act she could perform for him.

  With that decision made, she noticed the plastic sacks of clothing she’d thrown into the garbage were lying next to her. “How considerate of you, Gregori,” she muttered. Picking up her make-shift luggage, she waited for an opportunity, crossed the lanes of traffic to the right-of-way and began walking in the opposite direction from Canyon’s home toward Kerrville.

  After two truck drivers blew their air-horns in greeting, she decided to move further off the road in an attempt to be less noticeable. She was dressed in the same outfit she’d worn the day before. Seren grimaced, thinking Gregori could have at least chosen clean clothes for her trip. Putting one foot ahead of the other, Seren made her way into town.

  As she walked, her emotions ran the gamut from fear to fury. What would she do? Where would she go? How would she survive? She didn’t have a penny to her name. With her heart fluttering in her chest like a captive bird, she tried to control her runaway thoughts. This was the first time in forever that she was completely alone without an anchor, a tether, or a lifeline.

  Shielding her eyes from the glare of the sun, Seren became aware her ankles were wet with dew. The grass she was striding through was tall. Garbage was strewn in the weeds. A movement to her right caught her eye and Seren screamed at the sight of a snake slithering toward her. Horror and revulsion exploded in her chest and she jumped, trying to get away. The next thing Seren knew, she was sprawled on the ground. Desperate to get away from the reptile, she scrambled to her feet, dropping the plastic bags. All of the contents fell out, scattering at her feet. Stifling a scream, she watched the startled snake change directions, obviously as afraid of her as she was of it. With one eye on the retreating creature, she squatted to pick up her things. Not taking the time to fold anything neatly, she stuffed the clothing back into the bag. As she did so, her eyes fell on something she didn’t recognize. Two small plastic rectangles.

  “What’s this?” she whispered. Slowly extending her hand, she picked up the items, bringing them close enough to read. One was a white and blue social security card emblazoned with nine numbers and the name, Seren Whitewing. The fake name she’d invented for herself. The other small card was a Texas driver’s license in the same name. Seren stared at the inferior photograph of a woman who looked somewhat like her. There was a resemblance, but the image seemed unfamiliar. Lacking. As she stood with the pieces of identification in her hand, Seren was struck by a sudden wave of revelations. Fears. Insecurities.

  Bending over, she tried to catch her breath. What was happening? She should’ve realized something was amiss by her reaction to the snake. Before, she would have knelt to greet it, feeling absolutely no fear – much less an unreasonable revulsion. Where were these unfamiliar reactions coming from?

  Placing the cards in her back pocket, Seren began to walk again. As she did, images, facts, and memories began to bombard her senses. She began to recall things she’d never experienced – a childhood, foster homes, school. Bullying. Measles. Hunger. Anger.

  Shame.

  A plethora of human experiences and emotions engulfed her to the point Seren felt like she was drowning. She remembered being in a children’s home, knowing she was orphaned, and dreaming of a family. She recalled loneliness, the pain of a broken arm, and doubts of self-worth. If she were anyone else, Seren would wonder if such a thing were possible. Having witnessed countless miracles, she knew Gregori could bend time and space. Knowing the circumstances were vastly different and with no intent to compare, she remembered being taught how the son of the all-powerful one took upon himself the sins of the world. Without experiencing them, he could relate and atone for every sin, every failure, every disease, every weakness, every temptation. This immersion, this miraculous indoctrination was done not only to redeem, but also to create empathy and understanding between the creator and the creation.

  Now, here she was – fully human and implanted with compassion and insight into what it would’ve been like to grow up, to experience hardship, and to have hope for the future. While sorting through the ocean of unfamiliar awareness, Seren couldn’t help but accede to the fact that her former state of being had been one-dimensional compared to the richness of what she was experiencing. The fullness of her humanity. How innocent and unaware she’d been before. At once, she felt both gratitude and panic. She didn’t know if she had the strength to endure such an avalanche of change.

  And on top of all the upheaval, she had to deal with the greatest loss of all.

  Canyon.

  Her
every instinct was to seek him out, run to him, find shelter in his stalwart strength. But that asylum was not to be, she’d been sentenced to live as an outcast to all she’d known, set apart from her heart’s one desire. As Seren plodded on, she slowly came to terms with her newfound fate.

  Today was the first day of the rest of Seren Whitewing’s life.

  * * *

  Cady McCoy put the finishing touches on a three-layer coconut cake. Hearing boot steps on the hardwood floor of the dining room brought a smile to her face. “I’d know the sound of those Justin boots anywhere.” She spun around and threw her arms around Joseph. “I’m so glad to have you home safe and sound!”

  “How’s my darling?” he whispered, kissing her soundly, then going to his knees to kiss the roundness of her belly.

  “I’m good. Better now you’re home.”

  “Daddy! Daddy!”

  Joseph bent down to capture his little girl in his arms. “My Princess! How are you, sweetheart?”

  “Betta your home,” she parroted her mother.

  “Daddy loves you so much.” He picked Angela up and stood next to Cady. “Is that cake for me?”

  Cady pointed to an identical cake on a stand in the middle of the bar. “That one is for you. This one is for my party.”

  “Party? What party? I go out of town for a week and you plan me a surprise party?” He kissed her cheek. “What a good wife you are.”

  Cady rolled her eyes. “The party’s not for you. Your surprise comes later tonight.”

  “That’s what I like to hear.” He walked over to the bar and ran his finger around the bottom of the cake, bringing the glob of icing to his lips. “Hmmm, good.”

  “Me!” Angela demanded. Joseph smiled and repeated the process, collecting icing on his finger so the little girl could taste. “Hmmm, good.”

  “You two don’t spoil your appetite. I’m making gumbo for supper.” Cady removed the lid from a large pot, releasing a fragrant cloud. Joseph inhaled deeply and Cady smiled. The sight of her handsome husband never failed to make her weak in the knees. “How did the training session go?”

  Joseph pulled out a chair, then released Angela so she could scurry away to intercept her twin cousins who were playing pirates in the laundry room. “It went great. Beau sends his love. Ten, Tanner, and Bowie Travis were all on hand to help. We had several successful recruits, including Denver and Sam Blackhawk. I’m thinking of asking Canyon and Jonah to take part in the next one.”

  “How about your cousin, Clint? Did he agree to help out?”

  “He did. Although…” Joseph took his Stetson off and raked his hand through his long, dark hair. “I’m afraid his manager wants to exploit the idea for publicity.”

  “Wouldn’t publicity for the Wilderness Rescue Team be a good thing?”

  “The only team that will be getting publicity is Wilder’s football team. Not that we don’t have all the work we can handle.” He blew out a harsh breath. “It’s just the principal of the thing that worries me.”

  Cady poured her husband a cup of coffee and brought it to him. “I regret the tension between you and your cousins. It shouldn’t be that way.”

  “I know it,” Joseph lamented, checking the time on his pocket watch. “Seems like there’s just so much resentment on their part. They blame us for what we have and what they don’t. From what we’ve learned from Uncle Christian, when their sister was kidnapped, it understandably threw the family into turmoil. Dad’s parents divorced, splitting up their family forever. I’m mighty worried there may always be a split. Some wounds just refuse to heal.”

  Seeing his concerned expression, Cady decided to change the subject. “Speaking of Canyon, did you know he has a girlfriend?”

  “Seriously?” Joseph laughed with joy. “That’s great. Huh. I’m glad. He’s sure had a hard time, losing his child, his wife leaving him. The big blacksmith deserves some happiness.”

  “Who’s happy?”

  Cady turned to see her sister-in-law coming into the room carrying Blue Dawn. “Canyon with his new girlfriend.”

  “Oh, really? How wonderful!” Skye went to the fridge to take out some applesauce for her tiny daughter. “What’s her name?”

  “Seren.” Skye’s remark confused Cady. “You knew that. We’re having a party for her this afternoon.”

  “A party?” Skye kissed Blue. “And we weren’t invited, Blue. How sad.”

  “Yes, you were invited. You knew all about it. You promised to make the punch.” Cady couldn’t figure out what was going on.

  Skye looked at Joseph. “Your wife is hallucinating.”

  Cady took Skye by the arm. “Are you kidding me? You really don’t remember the party?”

  “No.” Skye was serious. “If there was a party, I don’t think Libby and Jessie would’ve left to go into Austin shopping today.”

  “Hmmm.” Cady took a dishtowel and wiped her hands. Looking at her husband and Skye, she asked, “Would you two watch Angela and the others for me? I need to take a walk.”

  “Do you want me to cook the rice?” Joseph asked as he watched his beautiful wife leave.

  “Sure. Thank you. I won’t be gone long,” Cady said as she left by the back door. Feeling a bit odd, she took off toward the ranch commons. She intended on getting to the bottom of this mystery.

  …At the blacksmith shop, Canyon hammered on a special shoe he’d designed for a lame horse that Nathan McCoy rescued from the slaughterhouse. While he worked, his mind kept wandering. His to-do list was a mile long. Finish the Stallion piece and start a new one. Go to the cemetery and check on Matty’s grave. Get the oil changed in his truck. Clean out the gutters. “Whew, I’m behind on everything. You’d think I’ve been distracted the last few days or something.”

  As he slung the heavy hammer, sparks flew. Bending the hot iron to his will gave Canyon a sense of accomplishment. In fact, he enjoyed his work at Tebow. The McCoys were a fine family to work for. They gave him a lot of work, but didn’t tie him down. Aron, the eldest McCoy, supported his efforts to create the metal art he enjoyed so much. If he told Jacob or any one of them that he needed a day off to get work done around his house or to visit his child’s grave, they would encourage him to do what he needed to do.

  Canyon slammed the hammer down one final time, pressing his lips together in concentration. Truth was, he dreaded going home. This morning, more than at any other time, the house had seemed terribly lonely.

  “Canyon?”

  “Hold on one minute, Mrs. McCoy.” Canyon wasn’t sure why Joseph’s wife had chosen to stop by for a visit, but he’d find out soon enough. “I need to quench this iron to set it.”

  Cady waited patiently for the blacksmith to come to a stopping place in his work.

  “Now, I’m all yours. What can I do for you?”

  The way he phrased his comment made her smile. “You can solve a mystery for me, that’s what.”

  “A mystery?” Canyon frowned. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

  “I spotted a pretty girl here several times this week. Did you meet her?” At Canyon’s blank look, she described Seren. “About five-three or five-four. Petite. Long curly hair. Big blue eyes. Pretty as a picture.”

  With a laugh, Canyon shook his head. “She sounds lovely. I think I’d remember a girl who looked like that. Unfortunately, you know I don’t keep company with women very often, Cady. Burned once, twice shy.”

  “Huh.” Cady crossed her arms at her waist and gave Canyon a hard look. “Funny.” She didn’t say Canyon had brought the girl to the Tebow main house. “I loaned her some clothes and I heard from a fairly reliable source that she was your new girlfriend.”

  “Ha!” Canyon barked a laugh. “You’ve got the wrong blacksmith. I’m a confirmed bachelor. It would take a really special woman to change my mind.”

  “A special woman, you say?” Cady’s magical instincts told her Canyon wanted to be loved again, he longed for a family, but he’d never admit tha
t fact to himself or anyone else. She knew if anyone were to ask him what he wanted for his future, he’d say to just get through the day. Just get through his life. Canyon’s greatest desire was to never know hurt like he’d experienced when he lost his only child.

  “Yea.” He tipped his hat to the lovely Mrs. McCoy. “And with the exception of present company, special women are hard to find.”

  Cady extended her hand to touch Canyon’s. She half expected him to jump away from her, but he didn’t. At the contact, she read his heart and found no iniquity. Whether or not what he was saying was true – he believed it to be. “Okay. I must be mistaken. Thank you.”

  After leaving him to return to the main house, Cady was confounded. She knew something odd was going on, but right now – she didn't have a clue what it might be.

  * * *

  Seren was tired. She’d walked a long way with no food and no water. Nearing Kerrville, she debated what to do next. With her newly acquired insight, she knew about shelters, having the memory of staying in one before. Remaining in the tree line, she avoided people stopping to offer her a ride. An innate instinct told her not to trust people. This change in her basic personality worried Seren a bit. The world used to seem bright and full of promise. Now, all she saw were shadows and boogeymen lurking behind every bush.

  After rounding a wide curve, Seren saw the river up ahead. She smiled and her footsteps came a little easier. If she wasn’t mistaken, there was a park up ahead on the Guadalupe and some type of restaurant. As her stomach growled, Seren considered the idea of asking for a job. If they didn’t have an opening, perhaps she could do a few tasks for a little food. Drawing closer, she could see the sign and was reminded that the establishment was called Hardbodies. One of the McCoy’s owned the place, if she wasn’t mistaken.

  Feeling weak and hopeless, she came to the front, only to find the door locked. “Dang it, just my luck.” Glancing up at the sky, she could see it wasn’t quite noon. Only a few hours had passed since she’d awoken in the bed next to Canyon.