“Good.” He lifted it to show Shane his incisions. “Better. I’m supposed to get this off next week.”
“I bet that will feel better.”
Carson pulled Shane’s beautiful wife, Kait, into his arms next—well, one of his arms, the good one—leering down at her for the benefit of his brother. It was all in good fun.
“How’s my pretty sister-in law?” he asked.
“Glad to be back in California.”
Shane’s wife was a famous race-car driver, her blond hair and blue eyes recognizable to race fans around the world. It seemed like an odd match for her to hook up with his bull-rider brother, but the two of them made it work. These days they were busy raising twins, something that would test a lot of marriages but hadn’t seemed to faze the couple.
“Where’s my newest niece and nephew?” Carson asked, looking around.
“Over at your aunt and uncle’s place,” said Kait. “I don’t know what I’d do without Aunt Crystal.”
His aunt seemed to be everyone’s go-to babysitter, including Jayden’s. His aunt would frequently make the trek to his sister’s apartment to watch Paisley when Jayden had to go to class.
“Everyone, this is Bella, the young lady I’m giving horseback riding lessons to as a favor for her mom. Dad, Bella wanted to meet the man with all the numbers on the wall.”
Reese Gillian stood, his knees popping in a way that reminded Carson his dad was getting old. Beneath a tan-colored felt hat, his dad’s eyes studied their young guest. Bella moved closer to his side, as if Reese Gillian intimidated her and she sought out his reassurance.
“Nice to meet you, young lady.”
Bella stared up at him in awe. “I read on the internet that you hold the record for the most average wins at the NFR.”
His dad nodded and he even smiled a little at the girl, and Carson marveled. Ever since he’d had heart surgery he’d been a different man, more easygoing and laid back. Last year he’d have probably grunted a one-word response. Today he hooked his thumbs in his jeans pockets and said, “Yup. Me and Carson’s uncle.”
“That’s cool.” She looked up at Carson. “I can’t wait to watch Carson compete at the NFR.”
“Pffft,” Shane snorted. “You might have a long wait time.”
Bella frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Carson doesn’t believe in setting goals. He prefers to let things sort of happen. He spent two years loafing around before he made it to the NFR, something that didn’t seem to bother him. With that kind of drive to succeed, he’ll be too old to compete by the time he makes it back.”
Despite the grin on Shane’s face, it was criticism he deserved. A year ago he would even have agreed with his brother. Not anymore.
“Too old?” Carson shook his head. “Give me a break. I’ll outlast you and your bull riding, that’s for sure. And once my arm is healed, I’ll be hitting the rodeo trail hard.”
“My mom fixed it for him,” Bella said with pride.
“He’s lucky to have her,” Reese said.
“You want to see the house we’re going to build?” Kait asked Bella.
“Yes!” Bella said excitedly.
They all shuffled over to Reese’s desk, where a beam of light from outside spotlighted the plans. It was an elevated drawing of a single-story home. No frills. Nothing fancy. Just a cute little ranch home with dormers across the front—nothing like what Carson had in mind for a home. He wanted a Colonial revival type with a half-round porch across the front and a hip-and-valley roof with wide columns across the front holding it up.
That won’t happen if you don’t make it to the NFR.
“That’s really pretty,” Bella observed.
Not as pretty as what he would build.
Shane must have known what Carson was thinking. “It doesn’t need to be fancy. We’ll only be around part of the time. Besides, you should see Kait’s house in North Carolina.”
“No. It’s great,” Carson said.
“What do you think could be better?”
He picked up the blueprints and lost himself to reviewing the plans. Bella asked if she could go explore the house, and she went off for a tour with Kait. He hardly noticed her absence as he sat across from his father, who returned to his other duties, while Carson dedicated himself to something he loved. When he heard a car drive up, he realized it was Ava. Finally back from the hospital. Bella must feel like an orphan sometimes.
“Who’s that?” Reese asked.
“That’s Bella’s mom.”
His dad grunted. That was more like him.
A moment later they heard a knock, knock.
Then the sound of small feet padding quickly down the hall. “Mom!” Bella cried. “Look at these saddles. Aren’t they cool?”
“I’ll go greet her,” Carson said, his stomach suddenly tight as it was on the morning of a competition.
Shane caught him on his way out of the office, though. “Mighty nice of you to give the kid lessons.”
He frowned. “It’s not like that.”
His brother leaned back. “Sure it’s not.”
Chapter 14
It was like arriving for biology lab a half hour late. Ava wanted to snatch Bella and run right back out.
“You’re here,” Bella said, slinking into her arms. Ava felt a twinge of guilt for staying away for so long.
“I am,” she said, bending to hug her daughter while surreptitiously looking for Carson. He wasn’t around.
“Isn’t this place neat?”
“It is.” Carson had texted her earlier that they were up at the big house, and to let herself in.
She took in her surroundings. Dark beams came together above their heads, like hands in a steeple, the fingers holding up the roof to protect them. They stood in the foyer that opened into a massive family room with terra-cotta floors. On every surface were buckles and Western bric-a-brac and she realized they were trophies. A hand-painted box with a brass plaque on the front and the name of what she surmised was a horse show etched into the metal. A pair of chaps hung in one corner. In front of a leather-and-cowhide couch sat a coffee table with a glass surface. Beneath, the rope lighting around the border of the table illuminated buckles. National Finals Rodeo was printed on all of them, sometimes the name big and bold, other times, on the older buckles, smaller but no less stunning. The assortment of dates was impressive.
“Look at how many buckles there are,” Bella said, turning in place. “I wonder how many Carson has won.”
“Not as many as everyone else.”
Carson.
He came at her from down a hall that ran the length of the house to her left and right, and there it was again, the tingling sensation that tickled her belly and warmed her cheeks. Why did he always have to look so handsome? Today he wore a white long-sleeved button-down and his black cowboy hat.
“At least he admits what a slacker he is,” said someone else behind him—a tall man with thick sideburns and a face so much like Carson’s. She remembered him from the hospital as one of Carson’s brothers.
“Dr. Moore, you remember my brother Shane? And this is his wife, Kait.” He pointed to a gorgeous blonde who seemed faintly familiar to Ava for some reason. “You’ve met my dad, Reese Gillian.”
Dr. Moore? She supposed she should be glad he sounded so formal.
“Nice to see you all.”
“What do you mean Carson is a slacker?” Bella asked.
Shane smiled ruefully. “Carson’s a born team roper. He has the talent to be one of the best in the business, just not the drive. And now with his elbow on the fritz...”
He wasn’t serious about competing? Why did that take her by surprise?
“His elbow will be fine,” Ava said firmly. “There’s no reason why he can’t go back to roping again.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” said his dad.
“I’ll make sure he goes to the NFR,” Bella said with a nod of her head. “He’ll do what I ask him to do.”
Ava smiled at her daughter’s simplistic outlook on life.
“Things come too easy to him,” Reese said. “Riding. Roping. Women. He’s never had to actually work at something.”
Women? Right. Not that she needed the reminder.
“I’m standing right here, Dad.”
“I know, I know.” His dad shushed him with a hand. “Maybe the good doctor will light a fire under your butt because I wish, for once in your life, you’d focus on something you’re good at.”
“I’m good at making furniture and I’ve showed how well I can focus there.”
“That’s a hobby. Are you saying you’d walk away from the rodeo for that?”
“No, I’m not.” Carson’s eyes gleamed.
Ava stared between him and his dad, her stomach suddenly dropping for reasons she didn’t understand. There was a glint in his eyes, an almost feverish intensity that reminded her of Paul.
“As soon as my arm is better, I’m hitting the rodeo trail.” His gaze encircled the room. “Hard. Nothing’s going to get in the way of me making it to the NFR. Nothing.”
Nothing? Was he looking at her?
“Well, first things first. We’ll see if your elbow heals correctly and that will determine when and if you can ride again.”
“You said it’d be fine and it will be.”
Just like Paul in so many ways. He’d injured his hand a week before he’d died. She’d told him not to go. He’d done it anyway.
Ava looked away. It wasn’t like Carson would die if he fell off a horse. It shouldn’t upset her that he seemed so determined to make it to the NFR, but it did for some reason and it suddenly occurred to her why. It wasn’t just that he’d go off and leave them both, it was that he’d do it even if it was against her wishes and her medical advice. She could see it in his eyes. She couldn’t go through that again. And how many times had she vowed that the next man she dated would be a homebody? Someone who put her and her daughter’s needs first. And here she was, the first man she’d taken an interest in since Paul, and he was exactly like him.
How could she make the same mistake twice?
Chapter 15
Something had happened.
Carson couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but Ava had seemed pensive when she’d said her goodbyes. He wondered if he should call her later, but something in her eyes had told him to give her a little space. Slow down, like she’d asked.
He waited to text her until the next day. Her reply was terse, something about a busy week and that she’d see him at his follow-up appointment on Wednesday.
He read and then re-read the message over and over again. Brush-off. All that talk about him being a cowboy and going to the NFR must have reminded her of who he really was. Blue collar. A man who made his living off the back of his horse. Not her type. He should have figured.
The day of his appointment he drove to the hospital, feeling as jittery as their barn cat, Duke, whenever one of the cattle dogs was around. Maybe he should try to talk to her if they had a moment alone. But the thought of doing so opened up a pit in the bottom of his stomach. She’d made it clear she didn’t want anything further to do with him. He was her daughter’s riding instructor. That was all. Although maybe she wanted to stop even that.
Not surprisingly he became even more jittery while he sat in a sterile all-white exam room, the paper on the exam table crinkling beneath his butt. He’d already had an X-ray. His arm looked weird without the brace on it. Felt funny, too. Lighter somehow. So he sat there, tense, staring at the scars above his elbow, worried about his future yet perversely excited to see Ava again.
“Mr. Gillian,” she said, bursting into the room so suddenly his heart leaped. “Good to see you again.”
Yup. She was done with him. He could tell by the way she wouldn’t make eye contact.
It stung.
“Let’s take a look at that arm,” she said, setting down her tablet.
He was about to ask her what was wrong but then he saw a nurse come in behind her. He held his tongue.
Her grip was light, yet firm, and Carson thought she couldn’t look more buttoned-up if she’d tried. She wore a starched collared white shirt beneath her white coat, her hair pulled back off her head, minimal makeup, no jewelry. It was like working with a stranger. The fingers that’d caressed him so softly over the weekend were now coolly professional as she turned his elbow this way and that. She acted like they’d never met.
“Looks good,” she said, releasing him and stepping back. She even stuffed her hands in her damn pockets. “I’ve already reviewed the X-rays. Your bones have knitted together perfectly. I don’t see any reason why you couldn’t start physical therapy later this week, which means your primary care physician will be taking over from me for now. There’ll be a follow-up visit with me in a few weeks, just to make sure your therapy is working, but we should be good. I’ll have the therapist go easy on you at first, then increase the load.” She picked up her tablet, wrote something down, the quintessential doctor, and it left him sitting there with his mouth slightly open. “You’re still a ways away from riding a horse, but you’re on the right track.”
It was like she didn’t even know him.
“Can I talk to you alone?” he asked softly, hoping the nurse wouldn’t hear. He stared at her so intently that he saw the way her pupils flared, the way her lips pressed together.
“What about?” she said.
“It’s personal,” he answered.
Her eyes narrowed. She knew exactly what “personal” matter he wanted to speak to her about. Clearly she didn’t want to do as he asked, but she tipped her head toward the nurse. “Can you give us a moment please?”
“Of course,” said the petite blonde.
The nurse slipped out the door at the same time Ava reached for her tablet again, this time holding it in front of her like a shield. She pasted a politely professional smile on her face.
“What’s up?”
Never before had he been on the receiving end of a brush-off. To be honest, he didn’t like it. Not one bit.
“Why have you shut me down?”
“What do you mean?”
Man, there were times when she frustrated the heck out of him. “Look, I may not be as smart as you, but I can tell you regret what happened between us. Either that or my dad said something to upset you. Was it all that talk about being a cowboy?”
“What are you talking about?” She seemed genuinely perplexed.
He reached out to her with his good arm, forgetting for a moment that he no longer had his splint and that he could have used his other hand, but in the end it didn’t matter. She took a step back before their flesh could connect.
“Is it that I’m not good enough for you?”
Her face registered surprise. “Carson, that’s not it at all.”
Did she mean it? He searched her eyes, trying to glean the truth, but it was like looking for the answer in a sky full of stars.
“All right, what is it then?”
She stared down at the floor for a moment while she seemed to collect her thoughts. Carson’s heart began to pound. He felt like he had the one time he’d ridden a bull. The one and only time.
“I just don’t think this is a good idea.”
“What do you mean by ‘this’?”
She shook her head. “Look. I’m sorry.” She still held that damn tablet in front of her, knuckles blanched, she clutched it so hard. “I’m not used to jumping into bed with someone. I feel out of my depth. I need time to sort it all out. And then there’s Bella to think about, too, and she’s already grilling me about what happened. I just think it’s better if we cool it for
a little while.”
“Cool it? Or end it?”
He saw her take a deep breath, saw her eyes fill with something like sadness. “I’m not sure.”
The words gave him hope but the look in her eyes did not. “What about lessons? You want to continue with those?”
“Of course.”
“And what about the show this weekend? You’re still bringing Bella? You know how much she’s looking forward to it.”
“Of course we’re still going. Bella can’t stop talking about it. We’ll just keep it cool between us, okay? For Bella’s sake. I don’t want her to think I don’t like you or something.”
Keep it cool. Yeah, right. He had a feeling she’d “keep it cool” right up until the moment she dumped him.
She scooted toward the exit. “I’ll write up an order for your PT. My nurse will find you a brace you can wear in the meantime, something you can use if your arm gets sore. I’ll have her make that follow-up visit for you, too.”
She opened the door. “Nice to see you again, Mr. Gillian. Thank you for everything you’re doing for my daughter.”
She was gone.
* * *
He left her alone.
Ava was grateful for that. It allowed her to focus on what she did best—being a doctor. And while she wasn’t exactly looking forward to dealing with Carson at the horse show, she did look forward to a few days off work. Bella had been insistent that they make a weekend of it, and if she were honest, Ava felt a little guilty for being so busy lately, so she’d taken some time off. The hotel where they were staying looked more like a Mexican resort, from the photos she’d seen online. She planned to have some fun with Bella while they were out of town.
So she found herself driving through the desert a few days later, toward a resort town that they could barely make out in the distance. Outside, scrub and cactus and piles of rock dotted the landscape on either side. They drove down a little two-lane highway, grateful for the air-conditioning inside.
“Do you think Carson would let me show a horse this weekend if I ask?”
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