Ava smiled ruefully, shaking her head. “I think that might be a bit of a long shot, honey, but you never know.”
Carson.
Damn that man. She’d been trying to push him from her mind all week, to think things through. She refused to rush into something like she had with Paul. This weekend it might be hard to keep him at a distance. Seeing him in her exam room had only driven home the one thing she couldn’t deny—she was still attracted to him. If only he were a different kind of man.
“There’s no way I’m going to be able to sleep tonight,” Bella gushed with a slap-happy grin that warmed Ava’s heart. That was what she needed to do. Focus on the positives. Despite the disaster that she’d made of her relationship with Carson, at least she couldn’t fault her decision to let Bella have riding lessons. She’d never seen her so happy. “I’ve always wanted to go to a horse show. Carson said the class he wants me to watch is first thing in the morning.”
Which meant with any luck they’d get in, get out and be off. She could keep the Carson time down to a minimum.
“Do you think we could go to the show grounds tonight? I’d like to see everyone before they show tomorrow.”
Ava’s stomach dropped. “I’m not sure, honey. You’ll have to ask Carson.”
Please don’t ask. Please. Please.
She should have known better. Bella’s little fingers went to work on her cell phone while Ava tried to concentrate on the road. But it was useless. She had way too much time to think. So she let her mind free of its corral. She felt terrible about keeping Carson at arm’s length. But that didn’t mean she should let her guard down. She would not jump into bed again, not until they’d both had some time to think. She’d done her best to keep her distance, but she couldn’t escape the notion that she might have handled things badly. She could admit that. She felt guilty, and anxious, too, because she’d be seeing him soon and she didn’t want things to be awkward between them.
Bing.
She tensed. That had to be Carson replying to Bella’s text.
Her daughter’s face lit up. “He said we could come by the show grounds, and that I could even ride tonight to help the horses practice if I wanted to,” Bella all but squealed.
Ava winced inwardly because that meant she’d be seeing the man sooner rather than later. But maybe that was for the best. Get it out of the way so she wouldn’t be stressing about it all night long.
“What are you typing?” she asked Bella, who was furiously tapping at her screen.
“He asked when we’d be arriving.”
“What’d you tell him?”
“That we were almost there.”
Oh, dear goodness. That meant seeing him really soon, she thought, checking her appearance in the mirror. Why hadn’t she left her hair down and put some makeup on this morning?
Why do you care?
She refused to answer the question.
“Oh, wow, Mom...is that the place?”
She’d been so deep in thought she hadn’t been paying attention to her surroundings, just following the directions given to her by her GPS device. They were on the outskirts of Palm Springs, in a belt of green she wouldn’t have thought possible this far into the desert. Off in the distance, the equestrian center stood out like a miniature city, the red-metal roof of what she supposed was a massive covered arena catching the rays of the sun.
In no time they were there and Ava was pulling up in front of the place. What looked like horse stalls, only made out of some kind of plastic, stood on either side of the main facility. People came and went, most of them leading a horse to the arena, a few walking, some in golf carts. The stalls looked like they went on and on.
“Look at that huuuge cactus,” Bella said, eyes wide, her face in profile as she stared out the window at the large succulent. “Can I go see it up close?”
Ava checked her mirrors for horses and more cars pulling in. “Sure. Just be sure to walk. We don’t want you scaring any horses.”
“I know, Mom.” She didn’t quite roll her eyes but it was close. “Be right back.”
And she was off, Ava smiling despite herself. She didn’t blame Bella for being intrigued. She wanted to check out the huge saguaro, too. She’d only ever seen them in movies and pictures, and they were way bigger than she expected. She grabbed her keys and purse before taking a deep breath. Time to face the music, she thought, her mood plummeting again. But it was good to get this out of the way. She wouldn’t have to spend a sleepless night dreading seeing Carson in person. She slipped out of her SUV and into the warm desert air.
And came face-to-face with the man himself.
Chapter 16
He’d surprised her.
“Hello,” he said awkwardly.
She forced a smile. He did, too. They were like two chess players facing off at the end of a game.
“Hi,” she said softly.
Damn, she looked beautiful. She’d worn a loose-fitting shirt, one the same shade of green as her eyes. She’d pulled her hair back, too, but not in a ponytail. It loosely framed her face, wide hoop earrings catching the light of the sun.
“I figured it would be easier if I showed you where we were stalled rather than you wandering around.”
He didn’t want her thinking he was trying to see her when she’d made it clear she wanted space. It was a big place. Impossible to text directions...or so he told himself.
Bella came running up. “Carson,” she cried, arms outstretched, and Carson did something that came totally naturally. He pulled her into a hug.
“There she is,” he said with a tug on her hair and a teasing smile. “Are you excited about watching the horse show this weekend?”
She nodded enthusiastically. “I can’t wait.”
“You don’t have to stick around,” he told Ava.
He could have sworn she stood straighter. “No. That’s okay. I’d like to watch her ride.”
“Good thing I’m wearing my boots,” Bella said, lifting her pants and exposing the boots they’d bought... Was that only two weeks ago? It seemed like forever.
“Where do we go?” Bella looked at the stalls around them.
“Actually we’re inside. Come on. I’ll show you where our barn is.”
He led them to an entrance off to the side of the arena. Inside, dozens of riders were putting their horses through their paces. His dad was in there somewhere. The show was over for the day, but everyone needed to practice for tomorrow. That was when the real action would start. There would be all kinds of classes throughout the weekend—from open cutting to futurities for the younger horses—all to show off the horses and their training in front of judges who would determine who was the best of the lot.
Carson nodded at a few of the riders as they passed by, leading Ava and Bella through the main portion of the arena and into a second section, one with double rows of stalls facing each other. Some of the corner stalls had canvas covers on them in red, or green or gray, the colors varied—barn colors. The name of the training stable denoted which group of stalls belonged to the colors.
“Oh, Mom, look. They decorated.”
“Everyone does that,” he clarified. “It’s kind of a thing.”
Brown drapes hung along the front of their own place. A sign with an iron cutout of their brand hung on a wall, beneath which sat a couch. An actual leather couch that his dad insisted on taking to each show. Carson didn’t mind. He’d made the thing and it brought in more business than he cared to admit, no matter how silly he thought it was to dress up a horse stall.
“This is neat.”
The words had him looking around as if seeing it for the first time. There were other stall fronts more elaborately decorated than theirs. Some had director’s chairs out front, people sitting around relaxing and chatting; others had even gone to the trouble of putting down indoor/outd
oor carpeting; one had a white picket fence around the front. He supposed it would look pretty cool to an outsider, especially one as horse crazy as Bella. Her mom, however, seemed unimpressed. That didn’t surprise him.
“So I had an idea.” Carson stopped in front of their own group of stalls. “Actually it was my dad’s idea. One of the reasons why I had you riding Snazzy is that we’re trying to sell her as a youth horse. My dad thought it was great that you’re doing so well, so we were thinking it’d be great advertising if Bella showed her in a cutting class tomorrow.”
Silence. Bella’s mouth dropped open just before she screeched, “What!” so loudly that everyone around them turned to look.
“Bella,” her mom chastised.
“Oh my gosh. Mom, pleeezzz. Can I? Can I please?” She clutched her hands together and for the first time in days Carson felt like smiling. “We were just talking about that on the way here but my mom said it would never happen, me showing that is, but now here you are and, oh, Mom, can I please?”
“I never said it wouldn’t happen.”
Ava clearly didn’t like being put on the spot. He tried not to feel sorry for her. Actually he tried not to feel a lot of things for her as he stared down at her. She’d hurt him with her standoffish behavior. He didn’t like the way it turned his insides out.
“Won’t Snazzy be...I don’t know, different to ride at a horse show?” Ava’s eyes reflected her concern. “More hyper or something?”
Carson rubbed his elbow, something he didn’t even realize he’d been doing until he followed the direction of her gaze. It’d been hurting a bit, probably because of the PT he’d been doing. Plus he’d been working it a little too hard helping his dad get ready for the show this week. She was probably thinking he should be wearing his brace.
“Actually I think she could do it. Those two days in a row she spent with us really tightened her legs. She’ll be able to hold on.”
“Oh, Mom, can I?”
Ava stared at her daughter, her eyes full of concern. “Why don’t we see how it goes today and then we can decide?”
“Fair enough.” Carson turned away. “Bella, come help me get Snazzy ready.”
He tried to ignore Ava as they set about saddling up the horse. He’d liked Ava. Seeing her again only brought that home. Sure, he had no idea if a relationship with her would work out in the end, but he would have liked a shot at it. Or maybe not. He had to admit her behavior these past few days had lit a fire in his belly to make it to the NFR. She claimed the fact that he was a cowboy wasn’t an issue, but there was a part of him that didn’t believe her. He had to show her that he was her equal in every way.
“You ready?” he asked Bella.
“I think I might be sick.”
“Just take it easy,” Ava advised.
“Snazzy knows you,” Carson added. “She’ll take care of you. That’s why she’s such a great youth horse.”
“Maybe we could buy her, Mom.”
Ava’s gaze flicked in his direction. “Maybe.”
Not if she knew Snazzy’s price tag, Carson thought. He was tempted to tell her just to watch her face fill with shock. She probably had no clue how much show horses were worth. And rope horses, too. He’d been offered a small fortune for Rooster. He’d never sell him, though, especially not now.
“Just go on in and warm her up,” Carson said, opening the arena gate for Bella.
“Are you sure she shouldn’t...I don’t know, use a different arena? One that’s less crowded.”
He could tell Ava was growing more and more nervous at the prospect of Bella showing. “She’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, but won’t she be required to chase a cow or something in the competition? Isn’t that what cutting is? She’s never worked with live cattle before. If she falls off she might get trampled.”
“She won’t fall off.”
He hadn’t been kidding about Bella’s ability to ride. She’d impressed the hell out of him when he’d had her ride some of his dad’s horses. Even his brother Flynn had come down to watch, commenting on her ability.
“She looks good.”
His dad had come up on the rail, stopping his favorite and more famous cutting horse, a sorrel they called Rooster because of his quick moves.
“I think she’ll be fine,” Reese said in a tone of confident optimism.
“I think so, too, Dad.”
Ava didn’t say anything, although she’d waved a greeting when his dad trotted up. They all watched Bella kick Snazzy into a canter, meshing with the people on the rail like an old pro.
“You got clothes for her to show in? She’ll need a nice button-down and a cowboy hat,” Reese said.
“She brought her cowboy hat. It’s in the car. I don’t know about a shirt, though.”
“There’s a mobile tack store out back,” Reese said. “Put whatever she needs on my account.”
“Oh, no. I couldn’t do that.”
“It’s my pleasure,” his dad said. “You’re doing me a favor. Bet we’ll have her sold by the end of the show once word gets out a rookie who’s ridden less than half a dozen times is out there working cows.”
His dad tipped his hat at Ava before riding off again, the gesture old-school but not surprising coming from his dad. Carson watched as Reese rode up alongside Ava. He was clearly giving her instructions, the two of them riding to the center of the arena a bit later. Carson knew what his dad wanted Bella to do.
“Watch this,” he told Ava.
“Watch what?”
In the middle of the arena, Bella turned Snazzy around sharply, the horse’s hind end staying in place, the first turn slow, the second one faster, the third one so quick Bella had to clutch the horn. Ava gasped.
The mare stopped.
Bella laughed, her giggle flying across the arena and landing on Carson’s heart. Nothing like a kid on a horse to lift a man’s spirits.
Bella pulled on the reins, spinning in the other direction.
“I don’t think I can watch this.” Ava turned her back to them. “I don’t think she’s ready. She almost fell off.”
“Relax. She won’t be spinning in a cutting class. Dad’s just showing her Snazzy’s moves, and probably assessing her ability to hold on. If she’d come off, he’d have nixed the idea of her riding tomorrow.”
“I mean it, Carson. I don’t think I can let her do this. I need more time to get used to the idea of Bella doing something dangerous.”
Like she’d needed more time for them? He almost asked the question but decided against it. “If my dad says she’s good to go, you can bet she’ll be just fine. I think she can do it, too.”
“You’re not Bella’s father.”
No. Bella’s father was dead. The words hung in the air between then, Carson suddenly realizing where her fear came from. She’d lost one person to a tragic accident. She was terrified of it happening again.
“I would never let anything happen to her. You have to know that.”
“Horses are unpredictable. You can’t always control what they’re going to do. I’m not prepared to take the risk.”
Was that why she’d let things cool between them, too? Was she worried that if she cared for him too much he might get hurt...like Paul. It seemed a completely crazy idea, but he couldn’t shake the notion that he was onto something.
“Talk to my dad before you make any decisions.”
She shook her head. “I’ve already made up my mind.”
Just like she had about them. No talking it over. No second chances. Just boom and she’d made a judgment call. And she’d told him in an exam room no less.
“You’re going to break her heart.”
“It’s better than her breaking her neck.”
* * *
True to Carson’s prediction, Bella had been utterly devastated by
Ava’s decision. Ava had hated dashing her daughter’s hopes, but how did she explain that she just didn’t trust horses enough to believe they’d take care of her in the middle of a herd of cows? It was scary enough having her ride in an arena during practice. She couldn’t imagine her daughter moving a cow out of a herd and somehow making it stay at one end of the arena.
The only thing that had cheered Bella up was when Reese had asked if she could stay behind and help them saddle and bridle horses the rest of the afternoon. Ava suspected he’d offered because he felt bad about getting her daughter’s hopes up, but Bella’d been fine with it.
And so that was how Ava found herself alone in her room and, perversely enough, feeling sorry for herself. It wasn’t easy being a mom. Sometimes you had to make tough choices and sometimes those choices weren’t popular with your kid, but Bella needed to understand that choice came from love. Ava’d never forgive herself if something happened.
“Darn it,” she muttered, getting up from the chair where she’d been checking email on her tablet. She turned to the sliding glass door that led to a private terrace. The rooms were elevated slightly, affording guests a nice view. It was framed by redwood rails, which she walked toward and rested her hands on. They still held the heat of the day.
She sighed.
She’d hurt Carson. She could see it in his eyes. But how to explain that taking things slow was necessary for her peace of mind? She would not rush into something again. Not when so much was at stake. In time, when she was a little more comfortable, maybe they could go out on a date.
Maybe.
She focused on the view, tired of thinking about everything so much. Beyond the terrace stretched an emerald-green lawn, and beyond that, a huge pool made to look like an island oasis. Off in the distance she had a view of buttes and desert cacti, and a stunning sunset that painted everything with strokes of reds and yellows and oranges. It smelled good, too. Like honeysuckle or something, and she wondered if one of the cacti that dotted the property was in bloom. She just wished she had some wine. She supposed she could order some. She could afford life’s little luxuries now. The days of scrimping and saving while trying to graduate from college were over. Come to think of it, this was the first time she and Bella had been on vacation in... Wow, she couldn’t think back to how long.
Home on the Ranch: Rodeo Legend Page 13