The Hungry Dragon Cookie Company

by L. G. Estrella

  Timmy snickered, which drew a sharp glare from the rat on Katie’s shoulder. “Oh, don’t let her fool you, John. She was worried although she’ll never admit it.” He nodded at Jake. “But she does have a point. John is an experienced monster hunter who was raised in a family of monster hunters. I’m going to bet that you’ve never gone on a mission like this before.” He gestured at the shards of leviathan scale piled up on the deck. “And you didn’t come back empty handed. In fact, you’ve exceeded our expectations.”

  “About expectations,” John said, cutting in before Jake could reply. “There were a few complications…”

  Timmy and Katie shared an exasperated look, and Jake bit back a laugh. Monster hunters, much like merchants, were notorious for trying to renegotiate. Timmy pointed to a zombie ogre near John’s ship that was carrying a large chest. “The chest has the payment we agreed to – plus a bit extra for your trouble. I’ll have my zombie there put it on your ship.” He reached into his cloak and handed John some parchment. “And since you’ve done some very good work for us lately and we have some more creatures on our wish list, here are docking rights to a certain place you’ve asked about.”

  “They weren’t easy to get,” Katie said, smiling evilly, an expression mirrored by the rat on her shoulder. “But we’re necromancers. Pirates don’t like having to negotiate, but they’ll negotiate with us. It helps that we were asking for you and not someone else. Monster hunters aren’t pirates, but you’re not merchants either. They said that as long as you don’t mention anything you see, it should be fine.

  John took a quick look at the parchment and then handed it to one of his crewmen. “Much obliged. Those islands have some great hunting grounds nearby, so being able to dock there will make my life much easier.” He patted the sword at his side. “We could have docked anyway, but this makes bloodshed less likely.” He bared his teeth. “And hunting monsters is hard if I have to watch my back the whole time, not that I’m worried about some pirates. I cut my teeth hunting sea serpents and other monsters. Pirates don’t scare me.”

  Jake almost considered asking for details before thinking better of it. Timmy knew people, a lot of people. The necromancer waved his hand, and another zombie ogre marched up onto the deck with another large chest, this time for Jake and his crew. He could have asked to count it, but he wasn’t crass enough to do that in front of Timmy. Besides, Timmy had yet to cheat him, and the payment he’d promised was enough to make all of the trouble worth it and then some.

  “That chest is a sight for sore eyes,” Jake said.

  “You deserve it for the work you’ve done. Katie and I have added some extra to it too. You do good work, Jake, and good work should be rewarded.” Beside Timmy, Katie nodded firmly. He handed Jake a sealed scroll. “Open that in private when you have the chance. It wasn’t easy, but I was able to find some of the people you asked me about.” He lowered his voice. “The Eternal Empire wiped out most of your old comrades, but some of them did manage to get away. I’ve tracked down the ones I could find, but some of them haven’t been seen in months. If they’re anything like you, I hope they made it to safety.”

  Jake took the scroll. “Thank you. This… it means a lot.” He could still remember the harbour full of burning ships as the Eternal Empire turned on them. He’d lost so many friends and comrades that day. Of all the ships that had been there, only three, including his, had managed to get away. He’d yet to hear from the other two. “I’ll see if I can reach them. I’m sure they’re as eager for revenge against the Eternal Empire as I am.” His lips twitched. “Who knows? Maybe they’re looking for employment too.”

  Katie giggled. “Soon, we’ll have our own fleet, master.” She rubbed her chin. “We might even have to come up with a proper flag for them to fly.”

  “Knowing you, it’ll be pink,” Timmy said, earning a glare from his apprentice. “And don’t mention anything about having a fleet around James. He’s already worried that we’re secretly plotting to seize control of the Council.” He looked at Gerald. “If anyone asks, you didn’t hear what Katie just said.”

  “Uh… hear what?”

  “Good man.” Timmy patted Gerald on the back. “Mind giving us a hand with these scales?”

  Jake watched in fascination as the scales vanished to wherever it was that Gerald’s magic put things. It was incredible, but the bureaucrat didn’t seem to understand how truly powerful his magic was. Just imagining what an assassin or saboteur could do with it made Jake’s skin crawl.

  “By the way,” Jake asked as he, Timmy, Katie, Gerald, and John headed to his quarters for a meal. “How do you make leviathan scale alloy?”

  “I’ve been wondering that too,” John said. “It seems like a handy sort of thing to have access to.”

  Timmy gestured at Katie. “How about you answer this one, Katie.”

  “I can’t tell you everything,” Katie said. “It’s a trade secret. But the process is very complicated. There a variety of different methods, but we’ll be using a different one this time.”

  “Oh?” John raised one eyebrow. “Experimenting again, Katherine?”

  “Sort of. There is a method that’s supposed to be the best, but almost no one can use it.” She smirked. “It needs dragon fire and dragon scales, but we just so happen to have a dragon and an elf who can not only control dragon fire but also make fire every bit as hot.”

  “Sounds tricky,” Jake said. “And the dragon scales… I’m guessing you’ll be getting those from Spot.”

  Katie shook her head. “He doesn’t shed enough for what we have planned. He’s still not very big for a dragon. However, we do have a lot of dragon scales left over from a previous mission.” She frowned. “The process we want to use hasn’t been used for a while, and even we don’t know all the specifics. That’s why we asked you to get as many scales as you could. It could take us a few tries to get it to work properly. But once we get it to work, we should have much better armour for Roger.” She cackled. “He’ll be even more devastating.”

  “You need to introduce me to Roger,” John said. “Jake told me about him. He sounds like an interesting zombie.”

  “He’s great,” Katie said. “We brought him along because it’s been a while since he’s been to the ocean, and the authorities here wanted us to deal with a problem for them.”

  “We can show him to you after lunch,” Timmy paused. “Jake, there’s a nice festival around this time of year near the academy your daughter is attending. You might want to take her to it.”

  “Is that so?” Jake hadn’t spent much time on land since being hired by Timmy. He might be a privateer for Everton now, but he had once worked for the Eternal Empire. He needed to prove himself. “I think I will, and I know my crew could use some rest.” His gaze drifted off toward Chesterton. “Besides, what’s the point of having money if I never spend any of it?”

  “Thinking of getting a place to settle down?” Timmy asked.

  “Maybe.” Jake wasn’t allowed to own land in Everton yet. It would take at least a few more missions for Timmy and the Council before the authorities trusted him enough.

  “We can help you out,” Katie whispered. “We know all about purchasing land without drawing too much attention.” Beside her, Gerald was doing his best to pretend that he hadn’t heard anything. “We might even be purchasing another castle soon.”

  Another castle? Well, things must have been going well for them, and Timmy and Katie were both people who liked to have backup plans to their backup plans. “I’ll let you know if I need any help.” Katie was about to reply when she stopped mid stride. “Katie?”

  “It’s Roger,” she said. “He’s finished working for today. The authorities wanted him to deal with some sharks.” She grinned at John. “You wanted to meet him, right?” John nodded. “Good. I’ll get him to come here right away.” Her grin turned impish. “Try not to scream.”

  To John’s credit, he didn’t scream. However, at least three of his crew
men did, and one of them fainted. Jake thought it was hilarious.

  * * *

  Jake watched the students milling around the academy. He wasn’t surprised or offended to be escorted around the grounds. The children here were amongst the most talented in Everton. But he was surprised when someone else replaced the guards who had been escorting him. He knew the Supreme Cleric – but almost entirely by her reputation. Her retinue kept pace, far enough to maintain the illusion of privacy but still close enough to intervene if he tried anything. He wanted to laugh. Even if he’d wanted to, there was absolutely no way that he would ever be able to harm her. Timmy had told him in no uncertain terms that the Supreme Cleric was monstrously powerful and easily capable of pummelling him if she was ever so inclined. During his time as a privateer for the Eternal Empire, he’d also heard stories about her. The Eternal Empire had once tried to assassinate her. Once. She’d been a teenager then, and they’d dispatched a cadre of their most elite assassins. She’d returned the bodies of the assassins to the Eternal Empire via post in coffins that had to be nailed shut due to the, ahem, less than intact state of the would-be assassins.

  Yet despite her fearsome reputation, the Supreme Cleric all but exuded charm and friendliness. Her chestnut hair, hazel eyes, and warm smile made it almost impossible to think of her as anything but a kindly cleric who only wanted what was best for others. His daughter had even written several letters to him praising how well the Supreme Cleric had treated her, even going so far as to set aside some time to help her with her studies. The only eccentricity his daughter had mentioned was the Supreme Cleric’s rather unusual idea of what constituted a cute and cuddly animal. Apparently, large lizard-like creatures that spewed poison and shot spikes at people qualified.

  “I’m glad you came to visit,” the Supreme Cleric said. She waved to some of the passing students, many of who were busy gazing at her in absolute awe. “I’m sure your daughter will be pleased. You won’t have to wait long. She should be finishing her class shortly.”

  “Uh… right. Thank you. Your… Grace?” Jake grimaced. He wasn’t cut out for this. Speaking to people like Timmy or John was easy. They weren’t nobles. The Supreme Cleric was more than the leader of the Order of the Blessed Dawn. She was a member of the Council and the head of one of Everton’s most noble families.

  The Supreme Cleric laughed softly. “Please, be at ease. I’m not here in my capacity as the Supreme Cleric or as a councillor. At present, I am a guardian of sorts for your daughter. You can call me Vicky, or if that seems too informal, call me Victoria.”

  Jake wondered if this was some sort of test. The Eternal Empire’s nobility would never have tolerated such informality. However, there was nothing deceptive in her expression. “Thank you… Victoria.”

  A smile tugged at the edges of her lips. “Ah, yes. I’d almost forgotten how much larger the gap between the nobility and the general population is in the Eternal Empire.” She snickered. “Not that we don’t have our fair share of stuffy nobles here in Everton. My colleague James is a perfect example of that.”

  “Uh, right.”

  “You’ve done some excellent work for us already, Jake, and I’m sure you plan to do more excellent work for us in the future. Rest assured that Everton takes care of its friends. We’ve also been able to verify most of the information you’ve given us. We’ve already put it to good use.” She sat down on a bench near one of the classrooms, and Jake sat down too, albeit at a polite distance. She raised one eyebrow at his decision to not simply sit beside her before she shook her head in a combination of amusement and exasperation. “You’re a good sailor and a fine captain, Jake. We’ll need more men like you in the future, given what lies ahead.”

  “Thank you.” Jake took a deep breath. Despite her well-known power and prestige, he was finally starting to settle down. There was something calming about her. “How is my daughter doing? She writes to me regularly, but I can’t help but wonder if she’s keeping up a brave front for my sake.”

  “You don’t have to worry. She’s doing well. From my experience, and according to her instructors, she is a clever, hard-working girl with a bright future ahead of her.” Victoria motioned at one of her retainers, and a young woman came forward to hand Jake a piece of paper. “There is a festival not far from here. It will be going for another week, and I think you should take your daughter to it. I went every year with my father when I was younger, and I still make the time to go each year with the rest of my family.” She sighed melodramatically. “I will warn you in advance. It is one of our more ridiculous festivals. They might claim it is about celebrating our ancient past and the deeds of our ancestors, but it’s really all an excuse to stuff our bellies full of candy and good food.” She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “I might have mentioned it to Spot and Sam the last time I was at Timmy’s castle, so I’m afraid Timmy is a bit cross with me. I can scarcely imagine how much a young dragon and a protoplasmic horror can eat, but they looked so happy to find out about it.”

  Jake grimaced. He could imagine how much a young dragon and a protoplasmic horror could eat. It was a lot.

  Victoria reached into the folds of her cloak and handed him a pack of cookies. “I have to go now, but these are for you and your daughter. She hasn’t received her marks yet, but I have it on good authority that she did excellently on her first set of exams.”

  Jake watched the Supreme Cleric walk away. It was surreal being able to talk to someone so high up in Everton’s hierarchy. His gaze drifted to the pack of cookies, and he stared. There was a familiar dragon’s silhouette on the front. “The Hungry Dragon Cookie Company?” He smiled. This had to be one of Timmy’s schemes.

  Adventure Time

  (Set Before Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf)

  Like most people, Timmy liked to believe that he was a reasonable person. James also liked to believe that he was a reasonable person. Unlike Timmy, however, he was wrong. James was a jerk. Even Vicky liked to believe that she was a reasonable person although her concept of reasonable was often less than stellar. Apparently, being ridiculously powerful and almost invincible had a tendency to make someone view things in a different manner. The present situation was a perfect example of that.

  “Do you have any idea how bad an idea it would be to simply traipse into an ancient tomb in search of treasure without taking the appropriate precautions?” Timmy asked.

  He gave the forest around them a furtive look. He’d brought a shovel with him, but he was still working all of the kinks out of it. The last thing he needed was for it to malfunction in the middle of a fight. Instead of an awesome magical shovel capable of controlling his earth magic, he’d be left with a glorified digging tool. True, he could use that glorified digging tool to bludgeon his enemies to death, but bludgeoning them to death was a far cry from burying them under a landslide or hurling a boulder at them. It was also much harder on his lower back.

  The tomb was heavily overgrown, but what little he could see of its architecture suggested it was around two and half to three thousand years old. Personal experience had taught him – and quite painfully too – that the older a tomb was, the more vicious, bizarre, and deadly its traps and guardians would be. He had to hand it the ancients. They built their tombs to last, and they built them to kill as many intruders as possible in the most gruesome ways possible.

  “Who knows what could be in there.” Timmy waved his shovel for emphasis as Vicky continued to give him that warm, sunny smile that told him she had already made up her mind and was simply humouring him. “It could be filled with traps, monsters, or both. Sure, there might be some treasure in there, but something will definitely try to kill us. It might even succeed since we aren’t exactly prepared for tomb raiding.” He had nothing against tomb raiding, but he needed to be alive to enjoy the spoils, and proper preparation upped his odds of survival considerably.

  “Exactly!” Vicky’s utterly charming smile belied the fact that she was det
ermined to lead them into probable suicide. “Even if there isn’t any treasure, and I’m sure we’ll find plenty, we’re bound to find something interesting. This can be one of those adventures that we all look back on when we’re older and laugh about.” She struck a thoughtful pose, but Timmy wasn’t fooled. He could see the mischief in her hazel eyes, and he’d come to recognise this particular pose as her ‘terrible idea pose’, the one she used whenever she was about to drag them into yet another life-and-death situation. “We should also consider the possible archaeological significance of this tomb. There could be relics in there of immeasurable historical and cultural significance.”

  James scowled. Some of his fans back at the academy would have called the expression rather dashing. Timmy thought he looked exceedingly whiny. “We were sent here to deal with a problematic hydra as part of this semester’s practical assessment. We’ve already dealt with it, so we should leave.” Normally, Timmy would have bristled at James’s steadfast desire to keep to the rules. This time, he was in full support of it. Rules could be onerous, but they were great when they kept him alive. “Tomb investigation can be extremely dangerous without proper preparation.” He directed a stout glare at Timmy. “Although I doubt you’ll be investigating the tomb, so much as robbing it.”

  Timmy scoffed and imagined hitting James over the head with his shovel. As therapeutic as that would be, the other teenager was no slouch in a fight. He’d have to wait for a better opportunity. Tomb raiding might not have been glamorous, but it was a reasonable way to make money quickly. Unlike some people, he couldn’t afford to sit back and rely on his family’s wealth. His ‘family’ currently consisted of the family who had dumped him on his master’s doorstep and a master who could, if he was being excessively generous, be described as the second or third most evil being in the kingdom.

  “Yes, I know we already dealt with the hydra,” Vicky replied. “But it was far too easy.”