City of Second Chances

by Jane Lacey-Crane

  ‘Goodbye, Liv,’ I whispered to myself, before downing the rest of my cocktail in one. I signalled to the waiter for another drink.

  As I sipped my second cocktail – slowly this time – I admired the bar’s tasteful décor. A row of high backed stools, with deep blue velvet upholstery, ran along the length of the dark wood bar. Low tables and chairs, in blue and gold, were grouped around the space and the hardwood floor was polished to a high shine. Beautiful people sat close together in groups, or at the bar. The low hum of conversation was quite hypnotic, everyone chatting and laughing happily. I closed my eyes and listened, but then something changed. The tiniest shift but I felt it; I felt him. The sounds of chatter were replaced by low murmurs and whispered utterances and I knew he’d arrived.

  I turned towards the door. He had yet to see me, so I had a few seconds just to watch him. He looked tired, harassed and I saw him scanning the room, looking for me. The moment his eyes found mine his expression lifted. He smiled broadly, and I watched all the tension drain away from his body. At that moment I wanted to run to him, throw my arms around his neck and kiss him; but I knew that wasn’t possible. Instead, I lifted my hand in a discreet wave and watched him approach my table. He weaved quickly between tables and chairs, nodding and saying hello to a few people as he passed, and then he was in front of me.

  ‘I couldn’t see you. I thought you weren’t here,’ he said, coming to sit on the chair next to mine.

  ‘I’m here. I said I would be, didn’t I?’

  He reached out and took my hand, lifting it up to his mouth to kiss. I looked around quickly.

  ‘Dan, what are you doing? Someone might see,’ I whispered. I tried to take my hand away, but he wouldn’t let me go.

  ‘I don’t give a fuck who sees, Evie, not any more.’ And with that he leaned in close and kissed me. In the bar. In full view of everyone and their smartphones. I probably should have stopped him, or at least tried to, but his lips felt so good. He rested his forehead on mine. He looked so at peace in that moment, and I wanted to bottle the feeling I had welling up in my chest.

  ‘Dan,’ I said.

  ‘Yes,’ he replied, without moving away from me.

  ‘What’s going on? I’m confused.’ This was true. At that moment I was an unfamiliar mix of Cosmopolitans, confusion and a healthy dose of pent up sexual tension. It was a potent cocktail that was making me feel a little light headed, truth be told. Daniel sat back, still holding my hand. I noticed people were starting to stare, whispering to their friends about what they thought they might have just seen. I wanted to stand on the table and shout at them all to mind their own bloody business, but I knew I couldn’t.

  ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you at the theatre,’ said Daniel. ‘It was impossible, and it could have been dangerous for you.’

  ‘Dangerous?’

  ‘Crowds can be unpredictable, Evie. It only takes one disgruntled fan to turn a group of friendly faces into a baying mob. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen.’

  I believed him. ‘But Maria was out there, in the middle of it all.’

  ‘Because her agent orchestrated the whole thing,’ he said, bitterly. I wanted to ask him what he meant, but we were interrupted by the arrival of the waiter.

  ‘Good evening, Mr Roberts, what can I get you?’

  ‘Hey, Teddy, I’m good, thanks. Just here to pick up this gorgeous creature.’ He gestured to me. ‘Once she’s finished, we’ll be heading out. But we might be back later. What time are you on until?’

  ‘Here all night, Mr Roberts. My shift finishes at 2 a.m.’

  ‘That poor wife of yours must feel like she never sees you. And what about the baby? How’s he doing?’

  ‘He’s much better, thank you.’ Teddy smiled broadly.

  ‘That is good to hear.’

  The waiter nodded to Daniel and then at me, before leaving our table.

  ‘Drink up, then, we’re already behind schedule,’ he said, gesturing to my unfinished drink.

  ‘Do you know everyone’s name?’ I asked.

  ‘I try to make a point of finding out. I think it’s only polite.’

  ‘That’s very nice of you,’ I said, swallowing the last of my drink as he started to stroke the back of my hand and then run his fingertips along my arm.

  ‘I am nice, very nice,’ he murmured. The hairs on my arm stood up and I felt a shiver trickle down my spine. ‘You look stunning,’ he whispered, leaning close to my ear. I felt his hot breath along the side of my neck; all I had to do was turn my head and his mouth would be on mine again. I didn’t trust myself to be able to stop if I did, so I didn’t. Daniel pressed his lips against my neck and then moved away. I was conscious of the interested eyes that seemed to be assessing our every move. Daniel looked amused, like a kid with a secret he wasn’t ready to share; it was starting to irritate me a bit. ‘Are you going to let me in on the joke, then?’

  ‘What joke?’

  ‘Whatever it is that’s giving you that bloody annoying look,’ I replied.

  ‘Not here. Let’s go,’ he said, standing up and picking up my coat.

  ‘Now?’ I said, standing up.

  ‘Right now. I can’t wait any longer. Maria’s screwed with my plans enough for one night.’ He held out my coat for me. I could see everyone in the bar seemed fascinated by Daniel’s every move.

  ‘Where are we going?’ I whispered.

  ‘You’ll see,’ he said. ‘Now come on.’ He grabbed my hand and led me out of the bar, through the hotel lobby and out of the door. Before I knew what was happening, we were in the back of a waiting limousine. As soon as the door clunked shut, I turned to face Daniel.

  ‘Right, that’s it!’ I yelled. ‘I’ve had enough. What’s going on, Dan?’

  ‘No one ever calls me Dan any more. I’m glad that you do. It reminds me of being back at college with you.’

  ‘Where are we going?’ I asked, exasperated.

  ‘I wanted to take you somewhere special. And I wanted it to be just the two of us. Away from prying eyes. We should have been there already, but Maria’s little stunt messed up my plans.’

  ‘You said her agent organised the rent a mob outside the theatre. How?’

  ‘She leaked it to her online fan club, said that Maria would be signing autographs at the stage door after the show.’

  ‘Why?’

  Daniel sighed. ‘Her agent knew I’d arranged to meet you there. She wanted to stop me.’

  I felt as if someone had pulled the rug out from under me. I felt dizzy. And sick. Daniel looked concerned. He reached out to touch my arm, but I pulled away.

  ‘Evie, please. It doesn’t matter any more. That’s what I wanted to tell you tonight. I had it all planned. Please, you have to trust me. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, Evie. Never.’

  I felt myself relax a little; I did trust him. ‘Fine. I’m giving you one hour of my very valuable time, Dan. And that’s it. If you haven’t explained all this—’ I gestured around the inside of the car ‘then I’m gone. Deal?’ I held my hand out. Daniel grinned and grabbed it.

  ‘One hour? I can work with that.’

  I watched New York whizz by the window, clueless as to where we were heading. Every now and then I caught Daniel stealing glances at me and smiling to himself.

  ‘What?’ I said.

  ‘I just have to keep checking you’re really here. I still can’t believe my luck.’

  ‘That sounds like a cheesy line from one of your movies. And not one of the good ones either.’

  Daniel threw back his head and laughed – a real proper belly laugh, no holding back.

  ‘I have made some really shit films, haven’t I?’

  ‘Well, they can’t all be that bad – you do have a few quid in the bank now.’

  ‘Very true. Let’s just say I had to serve my apprenticeship in order to master my craft.’

  ‘Like a plumber?’ I said, trying to fight the smirk.

  He laughed. ‘Yeah, like a plumb
er. Only the audience for my fuck-ups was a bit bigger.’

  ‘Why did you do it? Some of those movies were really bad – you must have known.’

  ‘You’d think, wouldn’t you? I dunno, sometimes stuff gets screwed with in the final edit, not much I can do about it. It’s better now. I have more control over what happens to the final product.’

  ‘Must be nice to be able to call the shots,’ I said.

  ‘It is. But I don’t want to talk about all that. It’s not important.’

  ‘What is?’

  ‘This,’ he said. ‘You and me. Our… friendship.’

  ‘Why the pause?’ I asked.

  ‘Because I’m conscious of pushing you away. I know what I want, but I also know you’re not there yet.’

  ‘Dan, it’s not that I don’t want—’

  ‘It’s all right. Look, we’ve arrived.’ He pointed outside the window. I recognised the stone steps and columns of the Metropolitan Museum immediately. Snow had gathered in the corners of the steps and the two enormous trees outside were covered in hundreds of fairy lights and a light dusting of snow that glittered prettily. It was magical. Daniel stepped out of the car and held his hand out to me. The feel of his hand in mine was as familiar as it was exciting. From somewhere inside the museum I could hear the sound of Christmas carols; I stood for a minute just listening to the choir.

  ‘Are we going inside?’ I asked, hoping he would say yes. The music was so beautiful.

  ‘We are.’

  He still had hold of my hand and I followed him up the steps, careful not to trip in my heels. As we reached the top of the stairs, the door opened, and I held my breath. Walking into the museum’s Great Hall, I was stunned into silence by the grandeur and the beauty of its high curved ceilings and stone columns.

  ‘Evie, it’s this way,’ Daniel whispered in my ear. We walked across the tiled floor and down a long hallway, passing displays of tapestries and artefacts. When we were about halfway down, Daniel stopped me.

  ‘You need to close your eyes now,’ he said.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Trust me.’

  I nodded and closed my eyes, and Daniel guided me slowly along the hallway.

  ‘Okay, you can open them.’

  I was greeted by the sight of the most amazing Christmas tree and Nativity scene I’d ever laid eyes on. The tree must have been at least twenty feet tall and it was decorated with angels, with lights strategically placed to illuminate their delicate faces. Each angel was different, their robes flowing around them, each one a different colour. As I moved closer I could see that some were holding harps, some had their hands together in silent prayer, but they were all looking down on the Nativity scene laid out at the base of the tree. The sound of the concert filled the hall, even though it was taking place somewhere else in the museum. In this room, it was just the two of us.

  ‘It’s beautiful, Daniel,’ I whispered.

  ‘So are you,’ he replied. We were standing just inches apart, but I could feel the energy radiating from him. He stepped closer and took my hand. Neither of us spoke for a long time, just content to stand and look at the beautiful display and listen to the music.

  ‘Thank you,’ I said eventually, ‘for bringing me here. It’s lovely.’

  ‘But? I sensed a but,’ he said warily.

  ‘No, well, not really.’ I was struggling to find the words; how could I explain that, as lovely as all this was, it just didn’t feel right? It was too much, too soon.

  ‘I feel like we’ve skipped the part where we get to know each other and gone straight to the end of the movie. Where all the plotlines have been resolved and we think we’re going to get a happy ending. That’s usually the part where the killer jumps out and ruins everything.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Evie, I guess I just got carried away. Seeing you again, after all this time, it’s meant so much to me. I don’t know how to explain it without sounding like a freak.’

  I nodded. ‘I think we’re assuming that, because in theory we’ve known each other since we were teenagers, we know who the other person is, but in reality, it’s like that friendship never happened. We’re different people now. I don’t know anything about you, or what’s happened in your life to make you the person who’s standing in front of me.’

  ‘My life has been an open book. Turn to the celebrity gossip pages of any magazine and you’ll find out everything you want to know about me,’ he said, sadly.

  I turned to him, gently touching his cheek. ‘That’s not you, not the one I want to know anyway. It might have been a long time ago, but what I can remember about the Dan I knew back then is that he was a kind, generous and warm hearted human. That can’t have changed. At least I’m hoping not.’

  ‘You’re not interested in the movie star, then?’

  ‘Not really. In all honesty, I think that’s probably the least interesting thing about you. To me anyway.’

  ‘So how do we fix this?’ he asked, catching my hand as I took it away from his face.

  ‘We talk.’

  ‘Talk?’

  ‘Yes, tell each other our stories. Who knows? After all that you might find you don’t really like me.’

  ‘I doubt that very much.’

  ‘I’ve changed quite a bit. I don’t think my teenage self would recognise me.’

  I heard the faint rumble of applause from somewhere else in the museum; the Christmas carol concert was obviously over. I had a sudden vision of this part of the museum being flooded with crowds of people and I felt a faint flutter of panic. What if someone spotted us here together? Once again, I was reminded that whatever was between Daniel and me, it couldn’t be made public.

  ‘We should go,’ I said, making a move to head back down the corridor towards the exit. Daniel didn’t budge.

  ‘No,’ he said.

  I looked around quickly. ‘What do you mean, “No”?’

  ‘We don’t need to hide. Not any more.’

  I was confused but not completely surprised. He’d made no attempt to hide the fact that he was with me in the hotel bar earlier and now his reluctance to run away and hide in a cupboard was making me think.

  ‘What have you done, Dan?’

  He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and gave me a slightly sheepish smile.

  ‘Don’t freak out, okay? It doesn’t mean anything. It’s something I should have done ages ago. I didn’t do it to put pressure on you or anything like that.’

  He was starting to worry me a little. In the far corner, behind the ornate choir screen that was on display near the tree, I saw a small crowd of people approaching. I yanked Daniel’s arm and dragged him over to the opposite corner, pulling him down to the floor so we were hidden by a large display case.

  ‘Evie, what the heck are you doing? I told you this was completely unnecessary. We don’t need to hide from anyone.’

  ‘Shhh!’ I put my finger to his lips and held it there until I was sure that everyone had filed past. I let out the breath I was holding and then took my finger away from Daniel’s mouth. He was smiling but his eyes were dark and something about the look in them made my stomach flip.

  ‘Evie.’

  That was all he said, just my name, but it was enough to change the very air in the room around us. It seemed to crackle with every unspoken word, every furtive glance. Daniel was the first one to break the silence.

  ‘I moved out of the apartment this morning,’ he said, staring deeply into my eyes. ‘I told Maria and the show’s producers that I wasn’t going to live their lie any more. I’m staying at The Colonial until the play is done and then that’s it. I’ve told my publicist to issue a statement that tells everyone that Maria and I are no longer a couple. No more pretending and no more hiding.’

  ‘And that whole scene outside the theatre was Maria’s agent’s idea of what?’

  ‘Distraction. Damage control. I don’t know what her motives were. I only know that the pretence is over. And, as much as I’d l
ike to be rolling around on the floor with you, this was not how I pictured it.’ He stood up, pulling me along with him, until we were practically nose to nose. ‘Promise me you’re not going to freak out. Okay?’

  I nodded as if I were fine, but I was lying; I was totally freaking out. Why had he done this? What did he think was going to happen now? I’d just finished telling him that we barely knew each other. Daniel watched me closely for a few seconds and then said, ‘Do you want to get out of here?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said, or rather squeaked. My throat had suddenly become very dry. Daniel took my hand and we walked back out towards the museum entrance. We walked down the steps, back to the car that was waiting for us, and Daniel opened the door. I didn’t get in.

  ‘Can we just walk for a bit?’ I asked. Daniel looked down at my feet.

  ‘You want to walk? In those heels?’

  ‘I’ll go slow,’ I said, pulling my coat closer around me and stepping away from the car. Daniel leaned inside and said something to the driver that I couldn’t hear, before slamming the door and holding his arm out for me to hold.

  ‘I can manage,’ I said, praying that I didn’t slip and break my neck.

  ‘Fair enough.’ Daniel walked beside me in silence as we made our way along Fifth Avenue. I didn’t know where I was going, I just knew that I needed some air. I walked slowly, with Daniel keeping step beside me. We walked the width of the Metropolitan Museum until the view on my left slipped into darkness. No buildings, just trees. My first glimpse of Central Park. It might have been dark, but it was still beautiful. Through the inky tree canopies I could make out the occasional glimmer from a lamp post but since it was late – I checked my watch, almost midnight – I couldn’t see much movement.