Real Vampires Live Large

by Gerry Bartlett

Page 20

 

  Sorry, but mortals just didn’t seem to cut it for me anymore, at least not romantically. And I felt bad for doing the whammy on him earlier. Also for the temptation to do it again. Plant the suggestion that our date had been a dud. But how wimpy would that be? Now that I knew what it felt like to have your memory erased, I was really hating the whole concept. When and if Steve called, I’d just have to let him down gently.

  The lights were on in the shop and I saw Flo inside, a paintbrush in her hand. I unlocked the door and went inside.

  “Who are the EVs?”

  Flo dropped the loaded paint brush and dark burgundy paint splashed across my brand new fake wood laminate flooring and her shoes.

  “Oh, no!” I ran to get a rag from the back and mopped at the floor. “Here. I’m going to get another rag, a bucket and some water. ” I thrust the rag into her hand. She was being awfully quiet and looked even paler than usual. A fact I ’d think about just as soon as I was sure my new floor hadn’t been ruined.

  Five minutes later I was satisfied that no harm had been done. I tried to sneak a peak at whatever Flo had been painting but she quickly stepped in front of me.

  “No. It’s a surprise for your big opening night. ” She smiled and dropped her dirty rag in the bucket. “I think you’ll like what I’ve done. ” She bit her lip. “I hope so anyway. ”

  “I’m sure I’ll love it, whatever it is. I’m thrilled you’re so involved. ” My roomie had largely ignored my business. She likes new, the latest and most up-to-date clothes and accessories mixed with those high-priced classics she’d considered worthy of saving. I like vintage, things with a history and didn’t mind if they were “pre-owned. ” We agreed to disagree.

  “It’s my gift to you. I feel bad your shop was ruined. ”

  “Not ruined and not your fault. Unless your new secret lover is Westwood. ”

  “Please. I would hate to hurl all over your clean floor. ” We both laughed. Flo hurling. Her vocabulary was strictly TV sitcom.

  “All right. Now back to my original question. Who are the EVs?”

  Flo sat on a stool and examined her manicure. “Why do you ask?”

  “I finally met my stalking vampire. The one who’s been giving me the headaches. ”

  “Really!” The chipped nail couldn’t hold a candle to this kind of serious gossip. “Spill, girlfriend. Why was he trying to get you naked?”

  “Not sure. Exactly. Though he could definitely qualify as a sexual predator. But the worst, the absolute worst is that he ’d done the whammy on me. On me. ” I dumped the dirty water in the sink in the back room and dropped the bucket with a bang.

  “Apparently we had a wild time together years ago. ”

  “And you didn’t remember it?” Flo looked indignant. “I wouldn’t stand for that from a lover. ” She jumped off the stool. “You made him sorry, no?”

  “I got a good start on it. ” I sighed. “But he shape-shifted out of there before I could do any permanent damage. ”

  “And you couldn’t follow. ” Flo patted me on the shoulder. “It’s okay, roomie. You have other talents. ”

  “He kept carrying on about my stored power. Like it was something I could sell maybe. The last thing he said was that the EVs would love me. ” I looked Flo square in the eye. “Who are the EVs and why would they love me?”

  Flo looked longingly at the door. I stepped in front of her. She wasn’t going to escape without at least a little dish. And it was way too late for her to pretend she didn ’t have a clue what I was talking about. Hey, she ’d splashed paint on her favorite Ferragamos and she hadn’t even noticed. I let her read that in my eyes.

  “Okay, okay. I tell you what I know. The EVs are Energy Vampires. Very powerful. Special. They can take power from a vampire and make it into something else. ” Flo flushed. Whoa. This was rare enough to make me lean closer.

  “What? What do they make with this power?”

  “Vampire Viagra. ”

  Eleven

  I laughed. “You can’t be serious. Why would a vampire need Viagra?” I’d just revisited with Greg one of many sex marathons I’d had with male vamps. The very idea that they needed a boost was a joke.

  “I’m reading your mind. I know. Male vampires seem always hard. And can stay that way forever if they want. ” She made a face. “Sometimes you wish it wasn’t so. ”

  I nodded. Yeah, lying under an inept lover who was determined to make you come but just wasn ’t getting the job done? A

  Texas Chainsaw Massacre marathon would seem shorter.

  “So explain this Vampire Viagra. Do they sell it?”

  “Oh, yes. And it’s very expensive. ” Flo flushed again. “Not that I’d ever pay for it, you understand. ”

  “Of course not. But who would?” Again. Male vamps are horny toads and ever-ready.

  “Very old vampires. Vampires who have been and done everything, maybe thousands of times. The Vampire Viagra, it gives you a jolt, a freshness, an edge. ” Flo got a faraway look. She might not have paid for it, but my roomie had definitely had a Vamp Viagra experience.

  “So why would the EVs love me?” I sure wasn’t in the market for their drug. Not only did I not need it, but I sure couldn ’t afford anything that Ms. Moneybags deemed expensive. My roomie thought Louis Vuitton was bargain basement.

  “Power, Glory. They use power to make the drug. And you have never used yours. Not much of it anyway. ” She touched my hand, held on for a second and shivered. “I have learned how to tell . . . Well, you’re full of the kind of power they need. On a scale of one to ten? Girlfriend, you’re an eleven. ”

  “Excuse me?” Eleven. No, this had to be a joke. “Vamp Viagra? What next? Vamp Valium for those stressful dry spells when the Fangtastic delivery is late again?”

  “You laugh. Fine. But the EVs would love to get their hands on your power. On you. It would not be a good thing, I think. ” Flo bit her lip again. Obviously these EVs weren’t to be taken lightly.

  “Flo, honey, how do you know so much about it?”

  We both heard the roar in front of the building at the same time. There was no mistaking the sound of a Harley. Flo actually looked relieved and dashed to the back door.

  “I don’t want you to tell Richard about this. He doesn’t like the EVs. They are on his shit list. ” With that she threw the dead bolts and headed out into the night. I locked the door behind her just as Richard rapped on the front door.

  “You’re out late. ” Okay, lame. But I was busy trying to block him from reading my whirling thoughts. Vamp Viagra, EVs, and now Flo running out of here like her panties were on fire. What was up with that?

  “I called your cell and it went straight to voice mail. I thought something might be wrong. ” Richard ran his hand through his hair. It was getting longer, giving him a rough look. The leathers he wore added to the edginess. Compared to my mortal date, he was sex on a stick.

  “I turned off my cell because I had a date. With the arson investigator who has our case. No progress. They don ’t have a clue who set the fire. ”

  “A date with a mortal you hardly know. ” Richard put his hands on the counter. “Did you at least take the dogs?”

  “Are you kidding? I wanted a night of normal, Richard. Taking along canine backup doesn’t qualify. ”

  “So you went out without protection? Are you crazy? Westwood’s men—”

  “Give me a little credit, Richard. I knew Steve wasn’t going to be a problem. He works for the fire department for crying out loud. And in the alley you saw that I can defend myself. ” This whole helpless Glory gig was getting really old. “Flo goes out alone and no one’s bugging her. ”

  “Flo can shape-shift and escape if someone comes at her with a stake. You can’t or won’t. ” Richard leaned closer and sniffed.

  “Now I know why you made the date. You drank from him. Are you sleeping with him
too?”

  “None of your business. And if I did sleep with him,” I tried for an arch smile, “honey, we’d still be at it now, wouldn’t we?”

  Richard’s stormy blue eyes bored into me. “What did happen tonight, Gloriana? Why are you blocking me?”

  “I met the vamp who’s been giving me headaches. Apparently he’s an old boyfriend. ” I still kept up the block and I could tell it was driving Richard crazy.

  “What’s his name and why has he been bothering you? Did he hurt you?”

  “I’m not telling you his name and I’m not hurt. I told you I handled him. And as to why he’s been stalking me? Why else? Once a man’s had Gloriana St. Clair . . . ” I ran my hands down my leather skirt.

  “Any reason he didn’t just pick up a phone?” Obviously Richard wasn’t buying my story.

  “He didn’t approach me directly before because he’s always been into games. ” I shivered remembering just what kind of games. And I’d be lying if I said his parade scenario hadn’t turned me on. Until I’d found out about the whammy.

  “Damn it. You never should have gone out alone. ” Richard grabbed my shoulders and looked into my eyes. “I don’t like this. You took a hell of a chance. ”

  “My choice, Richard. So back off. Relax. Don’t I look all right to you?” I patted his cheek, determined to play this light. I liked Richard’s look if not his attitude. Clean shave. Part of a nice package with the leather pants and his jacket unzipped over a red

  “Austin Rocks” T-shirt.

  “How am I supposed to relax when you’re risking your life for some mortal who couldn’t do more than run screaming for his mommy when that vampire came after you?”

  “Steve didn’t know anything about it. I put him under so I could . . . you know. That’s when Greg came along. ” My cheeks went hot. Richard had already smelled the fresh blood on me. And he hadn’t judged me, just figured it for foreplay. It’s what vampires did.