Deeper

by Megan Hart

  “Hey.” He caught her arm as she pulled away. “Bess. Don’t. I’m sorry.”

  She let him draw her close, her face against his bare chest. She slid her hands down his back to fill her hands with the firm, smooth cheeks of his ass. He nuzzled her hair.

  “I just wonder,” he whispered. “If there’s anyone beside you who would remember who I am.”

  “Your family.”

  A minute tension built in his body, then relaxed. “Most of them didn’t know me back then. I doubt any of them would know me now.”

  The ocean tang had faded, replaced again by Nick’s special scent. Bess breathed him in. Between them, his cock stirred.

  “I know there are people in town who might remember you. But memory’s a funny thing, Nick. Unless they had a picture of you to compare it to, I’m not sure they’d believe you were you. They might think you looked familiar, but who’d believe you hadn’t changed at all in twenty years?”

  “Maybe they’d think I’m my own son.”

  She tipped her head to look up at him. “Maybe they would. If they thought about it at all.”

  Emotion flickered across his face before fading. “This is fucking complicated. I keep waiting for it to turn out to be a mistake.”

  Mistake.

  Bess shook her head at a sudden memory, gone wispy with time. “No, it’s not a mistake.”

  Nick slanted his mouth over hers, his tongue slowly probing inside. He lifted the hem of her shirt and took it off. He settled his hands on her bare skin and kissed her once more. His erection pressed heat to her belly.

  “I want to fuck you again.”

  The crudeness of his words made her arch back. His hand slid over her ribs to toy with the lace of her bra. The other reached around to grab her ass and pull her tighter. He ground himself slowly against her as his kiss left her breathless.

  “Tell me you want it, too,” he ordered. His eyes flashed when he pulled away.

  “I want you.” Bess licked her mouth, watching his eyes go to her lips, her tongue, before meeting hers again. “You know I do.”

  He took her there on the floor. She came, hard, with the nubbly rug biting into her shoulders and ass. Nick came moments later, shouting her name. When it was over he cradled her under the afghan, and though the floor was hard and uncomfortable, Bess was too boneless to immediately get up.

  “Don’t you want to know where I was?” he asked.

  “If you want to tell me.”

  “I went swimming,” Nick whispered.

  Bess tucked his arm tighter around her. “Weren’t you afraid?”

  “Of what? Drowning?” He linked their fingers together.

  Bess kissed his hand, joined with hers. She’d meant hadn’t he been afraid of being sent back to the gray, whatever that was. But she said nothing. Nick pulled her closer, her ass nestled into the cup of his groin. He kissed the back of her shoulder.

  “No matter how hard I swam,” he whispered, “I couldn’t get anywhere. I couldn’t get away from you.”

  “Did you want to?”

  “I just wanted to know if I could,” Nick said, which answered a question, but not the one she’d asked.

  CHAPTER 20

  Then

  There was a message she hadn’t noticed the night before pinned to the bulletin board by the phone when Bess got up the next morning: “Andy called,” written in her aunt’s rounded hand. Dishes piled high in the kitchen sink and the Monopoly game still laid out on the coffee table were the only other signs of occupation. Aunt Lori and Uncle Carl weren’t early risers on vacation. Bess wished she didn’t have to be.

  Her head throbbed with exhaustion as she poured a tall glass of water and took out a slice of pizza from the box in the fridge. Pineapple and ham weren’t her favorite toppings, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. One of the main benefits to sharing the house all summer with a revolving group of family members was that they all, by tacit agreement, fed her on occasion. The food knocked back the lurching in her stomach, but her head still ached. Pressure throbbed behind her eyes, but she took a long, hot shower without interruption, and that helped.

  Down in her tiny room, getting ready for work, she finally looked in the mirror. Her wet hair clung to her cheeks and neck, darker than when it was dry. Her freckles had come out across the bridge of her nose, brighter today against skin paled by weariness. Her mouth was what caught her attention, though.

  Her mouth. The lips Nick had kissed. She bared her teeth, viewed her tongue. The tongue that had been in his mouth.

  Bess had to sit. Fast. Dizziness swept over her and she put her face in her hands, her elbows resting on her knees, waiting to see if her pizza was going to come up.

  Her stomach, though jumpy, didn’t fly out her throat. Her eyes throbbed, but she didn’t want to cry. In fact, all she could do was grin, wide and wider.

  She’d kissed Nick Hamilton.

  He’d kissed her back. He’d touched her, and she’d touched him. Gasping laughter burbled out of her, and she stifled it behind her hand. Another look in the mirror showed the same sight. Her mouth, still swollen from Nick’s kisses.

  They hadn’t done more than make out. With so many people in his apartment there’d been no chance for privacy, and with an early shift for both of them in the morning, the night had already gotten too late. Bess had been the one to stop, to leave, though he’d followed her to her bike and kissed her breathless there, too.

  Shit. A glance at the clock told her she was going to be late. Bess tied up her hair, slipped into the white polo shirt and short khaki skirt she wore as a uniform, grabbed up her backpack and headed off to work. By the time she got there, the early morning air had whisked away her headache. She still couldn’t stop grinning.

  “Don’t look at me like that, you bitch.” Brian, head in his hands, moaned from the back step of the shop. “Fuck it all, I’m hungover. Why aren’t you?”

  “Because I’m not stupid enough to get drunk on a night before I work the early shift,” Bess said. She nudged him with her toe. “Up and at ’em, boy toy.”

  Brian shuddered, but rose. “It’s too fucking early. Why isn’t Tammy here?”

  “Because,” said Bess patiently, as she unlocked the door, “it’s you and me and Eddie today. Tammy’s got the late shift along with Ronnie.”

  “Of course.” Brian snorted. “The lovebirds.”

  Eddie strolled up the walk just as Bess got the door open. “M-morning.”

  Brian waved a hand. “Eddie, how’s about you take care of the counter today while I sit in the back and count slushy cups?”

  Eddie looked so alarmed Bess took pity on him. “Shut up, Brian. Drink some water, take some aspirin.”

  Eddie eyed Brian as they all went inside, and watched him disappear at once into the tiny bathroom. “What’s the matter with him?”

  “Hangover.” Her earlier headache seemed like a faraway dream, thank God, replaced by the memory of Nick’s taste. “He’ll be okay. We were at a party last night.”

  “Isn’t he always?”

  Today Eddie wore a polo shirt much like Bess’s, only his was navy blue. The collar hung down on one side and flipped up on the other. Without thinking too much about it, Bess smoothed them both down flat. Eddie froze at her touch, and she tried to pull away without making it seem as if she knew she’d freaked him out.

  “You were uneven,” she said. “Your collar.”

  “Thanks.” Eddie’s blush could’ve baked a pretzel. He wouldn’t meet her eyes.

  Bess knew how he felt, but being the one on the opposite side of the adoration made her feel awkward. “I’ll be out front.”

  They both nodded uncomfortably, and she left him. This early there wouldn’t be any customers, but there was a lot of prep work to be done. The store would open in an hour, and though Bess didn’t understand how anyone could stomach ice cream or popcorn before noon, once she switched the sign to Open there’d be a steady stream of customers all day long.

>   The best part about working so early was that she’d get off early, too. Which meant she could see Nick that much sooner. Which meant they could…well, what, exactly, could they do?

  Andy called.

  Bess’s good mood plummeted. There hadn’t been a time on the note, but since she knew her current roommates had stayed up late, it could have been anytime before three, when she’d got home. A tight, hard smile, nothing like her earlier grin, pulled her mouth. So Andy had called and she wasn’t home? Good. Let him be the one to wonder where she was, who she was with.

  Again, the memory of the night before hit her in the gut and she had to put out a hand to steady herself.

  “You okay?” Brian asked. His face gleamed pink, and his hair and the collar of his pink polo shirt were damp. “Don’t tell me you’re hungover, too. If you have to yark, do it in the back.”

  “No. I’m fine.” Bess straightened, trying to take a few deep breaths.

  If Andy found out she’d kissed Nick, he’d break up with her.

  Was that a bad thing?

  And hadn’t she already decided she wasn’t with him anymore?

  “You look bad.” Brian stuck a cup under the soda fountain and filled it, then pressed it into her hand. “Drink this. Maybe you need something to settle your stomach.”

  “I told you, I’m not hungover.” Bess gulped the soda anyway and held out the cup for more.

  He filled it and watched her sip at it more slowly the second time. “Uh-oh.”

  Bess put the cup down by the sink and started flicking the switches on the pretzel case and slushy maker. She didn’t look at Brian. Despite his consistently flamboyant behavior, he was observant and smart. And blunt.

  “You fucked him?” Brian breathed this like it was a state secret. “Holy shit, Bess, you fucked Nick Hamilton.”

  “No!” She shook her head. She saw Eddie watching them from the doorway, but if he’d had a question he swallowed it and disappeared again into the back room. “Shut up, Brian!”

  “Ooooh, honey!” Brian clucked his tongue. “What happened to your boyfriend?”

  “Nothing happened to him. I didn’t have sex with Nick.” Bess busied her hands so she could feign disdain.

  “You did something with him. Damn, girl. Missy told me the two of you had something going on.”

  Bess turned. “Oh, so we’re an item in the gossip column now?”

  Brian held up his hands. “Chill, sister golden hair. Missy doesn’t usually know what the hell she’s talking about.”

  Bess glared. “Even if she did, it’s not any of her business. Or yours.”

  “Point taken.” For once, Brian seemed serious. He came up behind her to rub her shoulders with strong fingers that found the knots of tension without any effort. “Just be careful, sweetie.”

  Bess let herself relax under his massage for a minute. “I’m a big girl, Brian. I’ll be okay.”

  He worked at a knot at the side of her neck. “Nick’s a player, honey. That’s all.”

  Bess’s back stiffened, destroying the benefits of Brian’s massage. She went around the counter to fill the napkin holders on the café tables. “I said I’d be fine.”

  Brian didn’t answer at first, and Bess looked up.

  “You have it bad for him, huh?”

  It was her turn to say nothing. She bent back to her task. “It’s nothing.”

  “That’s not nothing.” Brian came around the counter to touch the side of her neck. “That’s a big old hickey.”

  Stunned, Bess put her hand to it. She hadn’t seen it, but now, pressing, she felt the small soreness there. “Oh, shit.”

  Brian laughed. “Boyfriend’ll eat you up, sweetie. I know you can handle him, but just…be careful.”

  Bess lifted the napkin holder to try and catch a glimpse of the bite mark in its metal reflection. “Damn it.”

  “I have some foundation in my backpack. I’ll get it for you.”

  She looked at him. “Brian, I love you.”

  “Story of my life, honey. Story. Of. My. Life.” Brian sighed. “Now if only I could find my Prince Charming…”

  Nick wasn’t her Prince Charming, Bess thought as she finished filling the napkin holders. In the tiny bathroom, daubing makeup on the mark he’d left on her skin, though, she knew he was…something.

  But what?

  There wasn’t time to think about it, because the rush of the day began. She and Brian and Eddie kept things under control, and if Eddie seemed quieter and Brian just a little sassier, Bess barely noticed. Every time the door bell jangled her heart stuttered and she looked to see if it was Nick, but it never was.

  She didn’t even have his phone number to call him, she thought, as her workday neared its end with no sign of him. She knew where he lived and worked, but could she just go find him without an invitation, the way he’d come into Sugarland to seek her out? Should she?

  She still hadn’t decided by the time Ronnie showed up to take over. Bess hadn’t decided by the time she packed up her bag and unlocked her bike. At the end of the alley, she had two choices. Turn left to make her way home, join in the Monopoly game, eat pizza and hang out with her aunt and uncle and their friends. Call Andy. Suffer through another painful conversation, or make it official. Tell him the truth and let him break up with her.

  Bess turned right.

  It had been less than twenty-four hours since she’d ridden this same route, but it seemed to take a lot longer than it had at three in the morning. Her courage nearly failed her when she locked her bike to the railing of Nick’s deck.

  Bess knocked on his door before she could stop herself. It took him forever to open it, but it was worth it when he did wearing a towel and nothing else.

  “Bess.” Nick sounded surprised. He slung a hand through his wet hair, pushing it off his face.

  “Hi.”

  He stepped aside to let her in. He was naked under that towel, and her skin tingled in response. Suddenly she wished she’d gone home to shower, change her clothes. Put on makeup. She reached to unclip her hair, at least, let it hang around her shoulders. She turned to face him.

  “About last night,” she started.

  Nick grinned.

  “I know you like to fuck around.”

  His smile melted like a dropped ice-cream cone.

  Bess took a deep, courage-making breath. “And I just wanted to tell you…it’s okay. If that’s all you want.”

  Now his lips thinned. His dark brows furrowed as he crossed his arms over his chest. The towel slipped a fraction of an inch on his hips, and Bess couldn’t stop herself from wishing it would fall all the way off.

  “It is?”

  “Yes.” She nodded.

  Neither of them moved closer to each other. She wanted him to kiss her the way he had last night. She wanted him to pin her up against the wall, put his hands on her. She wanted him inside her.

  “I know you’re not looking for anything serious.” Her voice shook—no surprise, since she’d forgotten to breathe again. “And that’s okay, because I’m not really in a position for anything serious.”

  Nick watched her. His chest rose and fell, faster than it had a moment before. Because of her?

  “No?”

  Bess shook her head and wet her lips. She lifted her chin. Her hands had clenched at her sides and she forced them to open, relax. She hadn’t thought about what she was going to do when she got here, but now that she stood in front of him all she could think about was fucking him until they both were sore.

  “I want you,” she whispered. “Now.”

  Nick didn’t pin her against the wall. He didn’t move. His chest rose and fell and his eyes, impassive, regarded her.

  Finally, he smiled again, with one side of his mouth. “You’re sure this isn’t a mistake? Last night we were both drinking. It could’ve happened to anyone.”

  That he wanted to pretend that’s all it had been should’ve stung more, but Bess didn’t let it. She pulled her shirt
over her head and thrilled to the way his eyes flared. His smile froze. His hands, tucked beneath his opposite elbows, twitched, but otherwise he didn’t move.

  “It didn’t happen to anyone. It happened to us.” Her fingers slid open the button on her skirt and she stepped out of it. Her matching bra and panties covered more than some bikinis she’d seen, but it wasn’t the same. Not at all.

  She knew that through the lace he could see her nipples, now hard, and the darkness of the hair between her legs. Nick made a small, strangled noise in the back of his throat. Bess didn’t dare look away from his face, not even to see if the front of his towel was lifting. She reached behind her to unhook her bra, and took that off, too. Neither of them glanced at it when she tossed it to the pile on the floor. Nick didn’t look away from her eyes.

  They stayed like that for longer than it took to breathe in and out five times. She knew because she counted each breath. When Nick parted his mouth to speak and nothing came out, Bess moved toward him.

  Two steps took her to him. Another two pushed him against the wall. He hit it with a thud and a rush of breath that became a groan when she tugged away the towel. Bess slid her mouth over Nick’s collarbone, the highest point on him she could reach without him bending. Down, lower, to one copper-colored nipple. She licked it, her hands going to his waist and holding him. Lower still, fast, her mouth skimming his side to the curve of his hip. She bit at the bone there, lightly, and he muttered a curse. His hands went to the wall, flattened.

  She moved up his body with her mouth until they stood belly to belly. He was hard, his cock trapped upright between them. She still wore her panties. His thigh was between her legs, and she slid her satin crotch along his skin.

  When she bit at his biceps, Nick cursed again and wrapped his arms around her. He bent, his mouth finding her throat. He put a hand between her legs, and Bess gave a soft cry.

  She took him in her hand and stroked. Their mouths covered inches of open skin. Their hands stroked and roamed. Perhaps only a minute or two had passed since she’d pushed him against the wall, but she didn’t need more. She was ready for him and didn’t want time to stop and think.

  “Condoms?” she murmured into his ear, assuming he’d have some.