“Look forward to? You’ve got to be kidding me. That’s all I’m gonna think about for the next seven days.”
“Focus on the music and you’ll be fine.”
“I doubt that,” he mumbled.
A loud pounding came through the phone.
“What was that?”
“Monty being an ass and beating on my door. They want to go to dinner.”
I heard the chain fall from its lock and the sound in the room grew.
“I’m starving,” Monty whined. “Can’t you talk to lover boy when we get back?”
“Ow,” he yelled a moment later. “Fuck, Mari, stop slapping me.”
“Then stop being an ass. Hi, Reagan, ignore his cranky ass. He’s hungry,” she shouted into the phone.
A chorus of hellos sounded into the phone.
“Babe,” I said. “Go get dinner before they drag you out of there kicking and screaming.”
“Not really hungry for food right now.” And he didn’t have to say what I knew was on his mind. He wanted something else for dinner.
“I’ll be here when you get home in seven days.”
“Fine, but you can’t blame me for what happens when I get there.”
“I want it, so come get me.”
We said our goodbyes and hung up the phone. What had I gotten myself into? True, I’d been thinking about it, but was I really ready to face all that it meant? What if I couldn’t take it? I glanced at the date on my phone. Promises made would be kept, which meant I had seven days to get myself ready.
CHAPTER 31
Sawyer
The equipment was set up for our very last stop. For seven days, I’d lived in a perpetual state of semi-arousal. Maybe it made me a dick, but I could think of little else except getting my hands on Reagan and sliding my dick into his tight ass. I dreamed about it. Daydreamed about it. It was one of the only thoughts occupying my brain.
Heath bumped against my shoulder, yanking me out of another fantasy. “Jesus, get a grip. You can see him tonight after we get home.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “I know. I know. It feels like forever since I’ve seen him.”
“Seriously? It’s only been two weeks. What are you going to do when they schedule the tour?”
“We don’t even know if that’s happening.” Not because I didn’t believe, more that I wasn’t ready for it.
His bows arched over his eyes, waiting for me to see the stupidity of my statement. They’d all but told us we’d be scheduled within the next six months.
“All right, I’m just not ready to think about that yet.” It was much more pleasurable to think about Reagan bent over the side of my bed.
He narrowed his eyes. “You know what, I don’t want to know what you’re thinking about with that dreamy look all over your face.”
“I’d make your head spin.”
The door opened and the radio host stepped in. We shifted our focus to her and introduced ourselves. She led us through the routine of the show, which ironically was pretty standard up and down the coast. She’d play a few songs, then introduce us and ask some questions before handing over the mic. We’d play and thank her and the audience for being there. The sooner we got through that, the sooner I could get home to Reagan.
Everyone tested their equipment one last time before we took our seats in front of her. She warned us it was the final song in the playlist and we’d be up next. The final notes of the song played and the on-air light lit up the window.
“Good morning. Welcome to the Marian Daye show. It’s been a blast so far this morning as I got the opportunity to spend some quality time with the members of Jaded Ivory. You guys wanna say hello?”
She nodded to the mic directly in front of Heath. We all leaned and said hi. Told them how excited we were to be there.
“Okay, well, what an enthusiastic response. Before they play their newest single Midnight Dream, I want us to get to know each other a little better. So, I’m going to let you guys call in and ask the band some questions.”
Well, that was new.
In the end the questions were pretty basic.
How did you meet Cole?
What’s it like when he travels?
Did the piercing in your lip hurt? Always to Monty.
These were questions we answered over and over again for the fans. We knew the acceptable answers by heart. Ones that would not cause controversy from the start. At least I thought so.
“Good morning, Ashley. What would you like to ask the members of Jaded Ivory?”
“OMG, I can’t believe I’m talking to you guys. Well, my question is for Sawyer. Sawyer, are you single? If you are, you can certainly come home with me.”
Yes. I knew I was supposed to answer yes. The PR department was happy having four of the five members of the band being single. And I was supposed to say yes. Of course, you haven’t seen me on the streets alone ’cause I’m damn good at hiding my relationships from you. The words stuck in my throat. I couldn’t bring myself to deny Reagan, or suddenly out myself. The band must have noticed me struggling with the answer.
Heath wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I’d never been so grateful to have such supportive friends. “No, he’s not going to give that up. If he did, he wouldn’t have any secrets left. I don’t even know who it is.” He laughed. The five of us knew it was forced. Didn’t mean the audience would.
Another landmine and another crisis averted.
The reality was, these kinds of questions were going to come up more often and I needed to be able to give the right answer without choking on it. The biggest problem I had was not talking to Reagan about it first. In my head I knew he would understand considering the circumstances. It was more the heart that was having trouble dealing with it.
“All right, that’s all the questions we have time for. I don’t know about you, but I’m dying to hear them play.” That was our cue to get to our instruments. “Here’s Jaded Ivory with Midnight Dream.”
Ten more minutes and we’d be on our way home. I played through the song on autopilot. Each beat fell in time to the thud of my heart as it sped up the closer we got to leaving. I hit the last beat and practically jumped from my seat.
“Oh my God, I loved it,” Marian gushed into her microphone. “Thank you so much for coming and playing for us today.”
“Thanks for having us,” Mari said, a smile on her face, the same one that had to be on mine. We both had a reason to get home sooner rather than later. I had no idea how she handled Cole being gone every other weekend.
“Ladies and gentleman, make sure you check out our pages for the link to download Midnight Dream. When we come back, I have news about our super listeners contest. Don’t go too far.”
Marian flipped a switch, turning off the light and starting the next song simultaneously. She pulled Mari into a hug. “Seriously, guys, thank you so much for being here. That song was fucking awesome and I look forward to hearing it live in concert one day.”
That compliment stopped me from running to the drums and putting them away. Things were changing for us, faster than any of us ever expected. The success was exciting and frightening all at the same time. We were about to be given a solo tour and were slowly becoming a household name. The least I could do was take five minutes out of my time to thank the people who helped us on our way up. I turned and gave Marian the proper thank you instead of being a selfish asshole and blowing her off for my boyfriend who still happened to be at work. I’d be happy with getting home the same time he did.
After packing up and stopping for lunch on the way home, we pulled into the studio lot a little after five. Long before Reagan would be home from work. So, I rode home with Heath, trying not to think about all the things I wanted to do to Reagan. Not an easy feat when you knew you were finally going to get the chance to do some of those things. I packed a bag for Reagan’s place. His roommate was out of town. Thankfully, we wouldn’t have to deal with the little shit for the night. I also
wanted to give Heath the chance to have the house to himself. He’d been great about Reagan staying there, not complaining once. I owed him for that.
“Would you stop pacing and just go over there? I’m sure he’s home by now,” Heath said a few hours later. “And if he’s not, just call him and tell him you’re waiting.”
“But—”
“Jesus, you’re that nervous about seeing him that you forgot about this great invention called a cell phone.” He picked mine up off the table and threw it at me. I caught it right before it hit the floor.
“Don’t be an ass. I don’t feel like going out to get a new phone tonight.”
Heath rolled his eyes at me and turned back to the TV. “Call him.”
He didn’t understand. I wasn’t nervous about seeing him. I was nervous he’d changed his mind. While I loved having Reagan inside me, fucking him changed things. He’d already admitted to recognizing his bisexual side, but this was different. This was trusting someone enough to let them into your body. There’d be no going back afterward. And that didn’t even scratch the surface of my worries. What if he hated it and never wanted to do it again? Would I be okay with that? For Reagan, most likely.
My fingers began flying across the keys when I decided, fuck it. I didn’t need to warn him before I showed up on his doorstep. He already knew I’d be coming over tonight. The whole situation messed with my head. It was time to go over there and see what happened.
The ride to Reagan’s was a blur of green lights and stop signs. My mind was still buried deep in questions about tonight. I had no idea if I was pushing him too fast. Then I started to wonder if he was doing this for me, because he thought I wanted it. Or if this was something he really wanted to experience. I rode the elevator up, stuffing my hands in my pockets when I couldn’t stop the shaking. The ding of the door opening practically had me jumping out of my skin. With measured steps, I walked the long hall to his door. I felt like Alice in Wonderland, trying to find the end of the hall.
The things this man did to me apparently extended to my brain turning to mush when faced with the prospect of taking him the first time. I lifted my hand to knock when the door in front of me flew open. Reagan stopped dead in his tracks.
“Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been waiting over an hour for you to get here.” He waved his keys in his fingers. “I was on my way over to get you.”
I took the keys from his fingers and backed him into the apartment. Reagan’s back hit the wall of the hall and I tossed the keys in the general direction of the table by the door before kicking the door shut with my foot.
I took his lips in a kiss so fierce it sizzled along every one of my nerves. We could talk later. Right then I needed to taste him. His hands came up to rest against my chest. The heat of his body penetrated the cotton of my shirt. I couldn’t stop my body from trembling when his thumbs lightly grazed my nipples, the fabric adding to the sensation.
My cock hardened in seconds. If I didn’t say something now, I’d have him naked and under me before we got another chance to speak. I tore my mouth from his.
“You were coming to get me?”
His eyes glazed over and he blinked several times to regain focus. “Yeah. You didn’t answer any of my messages.”
I took the phone from my pocket and sure enough, at least fifteen messages, almost since the time I left my place. I shrugged. “My phone was in my pocket.”
He took a step forward, forcing me to take one back. “That doesn’t explain why it took you so long.”
“Let’s just say I was being an idiot.” I took hold of his hand and placed it over my dick. “Doesn’t matter anymore. All I want right now is to be naked with you.”
Without a word, he took my hand and led me the rest of the way down the hall and into the living room. Reagan didn’t bother stopping, walking straight through the door of his bedroom. Then we were kissing. He sucked my tongue into his mouth and it was heaven. I’d missed being able to touch him more than I could remember. Needing to feel his warm skin against mine, I broke the connection of our lips just long enough to divest us both of our shirts. We fell onto the bed in a tangle of limbs.
I found the waistband of his sweats, sinking my hand below the fabric to take his hot, hard cock in my hands. Pre-cum already leaked from the slit and I used my thumb to spread it around the head. If this was going to be Reagan’s first time, I wanted his body good and ready before I sank balls deep inside of him. I wanted him to enjoy everything I was doing to him.
His hips bucked up when I pulled off the first stroke. “More,” he begged, fumbling to undo the buttons of my jeans.
I reached down with my free hand to help him. Once I had them free, I sank my other hand into his hair and held his mouth to mine, plunging my tongue inside mimicking what I wanted to do with my cock in a bit. I thrust my hips forward, groaning as our erections rubbed together through the fabric of our clothes. Reagan stroked my cock and pulled his mouth away.
“You know how much better that would feel if we didn’t have any clothes on?”
I took the waist of his pants and yanked them down to his ankles, letting him kick them to the floor. “Aren’t you the tease tonight?”
“The only tease tonight is how slow you’re taking things.”
“Slow?”
He slid his hand around to the back of my jeans, shoving them down as far as he could reach. “Yes, slow. I haven’t seen you in two weeks and I just want you to fuck me.”
My hand froze midair as I was reaching for his nipple. Suddenly, making his first time perfect didn’t really matter anymore. As long as he enjoyed it, it didn’t matter how perfect getting there was. I stood and kicked off my shoes, dropping my jeans and boxers to the floor. Reagan naked was a spectacular sight. Strong, rippling muscles in his chest and arms, not to mention the deep V at his groin, pointed exactly where I wanted to go.
“Lube and condoms?” I asked. Once we got started, I had no plans on stopping.
“In the top drawer.” He pointed to the table next to the bed.
I grabbed the things I needed, happy to see that both boxes were new. In the back of my mind, I knew Reagan had been with women, but I didn’t want to think about them. He was with me now. I climbed back on the bed and lightly ran my hand down his chest until I reached his hard, waiting shaft. The head was slightly purple and he looked like he was ready to explode.
“Tonight,” I whispered against his lips. “I’m going to take care of you.”
“Please.” He thrust up, trying to get closer to my hand.
I slid my hand down past his balls to the crack of his ass. I hadn’t bothered with lube yet. We’d get there when I was sure he was ready to take it. Slowly, I ran my finger over his puckered entrance, feeling the way he clenched at the lightest touch. With a small amount of pressure, I kept rubbing, forcing him to relax. The way this was playing out, I’d end up coming before I ever got inside of him. Reaching down, I squeezed at the base of my shaft, calming me enough to get Reagan ready for me.
I opened the lube and poured a generous amount onto my fingers. Reagan’s eyes stayed on me the entire time. Once again, I ran my hand down past his balls. This time when I reached his asshole, I pushed one finger inside. The tight ring of muscles clenched around it.
“Relax, baby,” I said, taking his dick in my hand and stroking it. “I need you to relax. You’ve done this before. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Feels weird.”
“I know it does, but the moment you let me in, I’ll make you feel all kinds of pleasure.”
He nodded and closed his eyes, trying to relax.
I could see his shoulders lower to the bed, and the sharp, shallow pants from before slowed. The only thing that wasn’t relaxing was the one thing I needed to. I removed my finger and leaned up to press a kiss to his lips. “Try something for me, okay?”
“What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to clench your ass and hold it for a few seco
nds.”
One eye popped open. “Okay.”
“Trust me, just do it.”
His face scrunched in concentration. After a few moments, he shook his head. “I can’t.”
“Just a few more seconds.”
He held his breath for those few seconds, until I watched his whole body relax beneath me.
I slid my fingers between his crack, and this time when I slipped my finger inside, it went all the way in without a problem. To reward him, I crooked my finger, rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves. His whole body trembled below me.
“Holy shit,” he cried out. “So good.”
“I told you. Stay with me.”
I moved my finger in and out of him until his body was pressing down, trying to get more, and I added a second finger. It slipped in easier and a moan left Reagan’s lips. I scissored my fingers, loosening up the muscles even more. By the time I added the third Reagan was bucking against my hand. If he wasn’t ready by then, he never would be. I let my fingers slip from his body.
I tapped his hip. “Roll over and put a pillow under your hips. It’ll make it easier for you the first time.”
His eyes were darkened with lust. Without question, he rolled to his stomach and took one of the pillows from the top of the bed and pushed it beneath him, angling his ass up to me. For the first time, I had the perfect view of Reagan’s ass and I wanted inside more than I wanted my next breath.
I ran my thumb along his pucker. “Ready for me?”
“Fuck yes. Feels like I’ve been ready forever.”
I grabbed a condom and rolled it down my length. Lining my dick up, I slowly pushed forward until the head of my dick breached that first tight ring of muscle. And I was thankful for all the time I’d spent getting him ready when it slipped in easily.
“Fuck,” he growled.
I ran my hand down his back. “You’re doing so good, babe. Just a few more inches and all you’ll feel is pleasure.”
“Do it.” He started to thrust his hips back, but I held them still. “Easy. Let me do this so I don’t hurt you.”
He lowered back to the bed and I pushed the rest of the way in. He was so hot and tight, I gripped my thighs to keep from coming to soon. “You feel so good. I could stay here forever.”
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