The Secrets We Share

by Emma Hannigan

He finished dressing and attached the cufflinks to his shirt. Flicking a comb through his honey-blond hair, he wondered where the creases around his eyes and the dulling of his bronzed skin might end. It was all the rage at the hospital to cruise into the plastics department for a shot of this and a zap of that to freshen one’s face. But Max was neither vain nor bothered enough to pitch up. He figured he’d go for the ageing gracefully thing instead. Besides, he had his trump card, which always seemed to please his patients.

  ‘Ooh, you have the most darling Irish accent!’

  ‘I love the way you speak. My grandma was from Ireland too …’

  He’d just stepped into the living room when Nathalie swept in behind him. Max stood and observed his two favourite girls.

  ‘Wow,’ he said, nodding in approval. Once again he was amazed by their closeness and mutual adoration.

  ‘You look so beautiful, Nathalie,’ Amber said, grasping both her hands.

  ‘So do you, Mom,’ Nathalie said sincerely.

  ‘Ah, once I stick with Ms Coco Chanel, I’m on to a winner,’ Amber said with a grin. ‘Are you happy with your gown?’

  ‘I love it, thank you, Mom. Most importantly, I’ve got DJ taking me, Mackenzie has a date and all our friends will be there. I can’t believe I’ve finally reached this point in my life.’

  ‘Neither can I, baby girl. I still remember how I felt when I discovered I was pregnant. Do you know, I secretly wished for a girl.’

  ‘Why?’ Nathalie smiled.

  ‘For moments just like this one … For the camaraderie and the frills and spills that only a daughter brings. I’m blessed to have you in my world, darling.’

  They hugged, and were both dabbing ever so gently at their expertly made-up eyes as Max cleared his throat.

  ‘OK, you guys. Enough leaky girlie moments. You’re both gorgeous and I am unbelievably proud.’

  The tender moment was shattered by the arrival of Nathalie’s sorry excuse for a boyfriend. Max couldn’t abide him. He was everything he didn’t want to see attached to his precious girl.

  ‘No way!’ Nathalie screamed, pointing outside. ‘I can’t believe he did that.’ Flinging the front door open, she rushed down the drive towards the white stretch Hummer with tinted windows.

  ‘So much for her being the belle of the ball,’ Max said drily. ‘As she charges down the drive looking like she’s taking part in a timed sprint.’

  ‘Lighten up, eh, Max,’ Amber said dreamily. ‘She’s young and in love.’

  ‘Just like you were a hundred years ago,’ he said, teasing her as he took her in his arms.

  ‘Do you remember my prom?’

  ‘I’ll never forget it,’ he said. ‘I was quaking in my slippery hired shoes, terrified to even open my mouth. Every time I spoke, your father corrected me.’

  ‘He couldn’t understand your Irish accent,’ she giggled.

  ‘Yeah, that’s his version of the story,’ Max said. ‘I think I can appreciate how he felt now. He told me repeatedly that you were only seventeen and I was far too old for you at twenty.’ He leaned against the frame of the door with his arms folded and watched Nathalie as she allowed DJ to place a corsage around her wrist, then pick her up and twirl her around.

  ‘Not so touchy-feely, young man,’ Max growled.

  ‘Oh Max, stop it.’ Amber swatted him. ‘Behave.’

  He raised an eyebrow and side-glanced at his wife.

  ‘I’ve waited a long time to make a guy feel as uncomfortable as I did at your prom. Let me have my moment in the sunshine.’ He grinned wickedly.

  ‘You mean thing,’ Amber laughed.

  ‘I wish it were simply a joke,’ Max said, shaking his head. ‘But look at the guy. He’s a grease monkey with about as much class as a septic tank—’

  ‘Enough,’ Amber said sternly, holding her hand aloft. ‘There’s plenty of time for meaningful conversations about finding the right life partner. But this isn’t one of them. Suck it up and let our daughter enjoy her prom. Besides, she’s merely testing the water. If I know Nathalie, she’ll be sick to the back teeth of DJ soon enough.’

  ‘As long as she doesn’t come home and say she’s knocked up and they’re off to live in a trailer park.’

  ‘Your imagination runs riot at times, Max,’ Amber said. ‘Let’s just enjoy the moment … Please?’

  Reluctantly, Max did as he was bid. DJ bounded up the driveway.

  ‘Evenin’, Doc.’

  Max clenched his jaw and shook the boy’s hand before walking silently back into the living room to grab his house keys.

  ‘Doc …’ he muttered, tutting and grinding his teeth.

  The others were waiting in the limo as he dawdled on purpose. He didn’t want to sit in a confined space with this joker. But he knew he couldn’t growl at him either, or Amber would be on his case and Nathalie would pout and treat him like a leper for the next week. He sighed and hid his smile, knowing that yet again he was under the thumb of his two women. Eventually he joined them.

  ‘Max,’ Amber hissed. ‘Turn that frown upside down before I accidentally implant my stiletto in your toe.’

  Max fixed a smile on his face.

  The journey seemed endless. Amber and Nathalie babbled to one another, while DJ was busy opening all the compartments in the back of the limo, discussing the likely cost of replacing each one. Max tried to zone out and think about something completely different.

  Once inside the school gym, Nathalie felt as if she would combust with excitement.

  ‘Mom, look at the balloons and bunting. Isn’t it magical?’

  The foursome greeted the other kids and parents. The atmosphere was bittersweet, with some parents expressing their dismay at the thought of their children leaving school.

  ‘The years have flown by so quickly,’ Amber agreed, as Max stood motionless by her side. ‘But I’m happy Nathalie is ready to spread her wings. She’s headed for medical school, following in her father’s footsteps,’ she said proudly.

  ‘There’s Mackenzie,’ Nathalie said, rushing to hug her best friend. ‘You look totally wowzers!’

  ‘So do you!’

  ‘Hey, Jonas,’ Nathalie said, kissing her friend’s date on the cheek. DJ and Jonas shook hands and banged one another on the back.

  Once the speeches and the drinks reception were over, it was time for the parents to leave.

  ‘Enjoy the rest of the evening, and don’t forget to have her home by two,’ Max said to DJ. ‘We’ll be at the Four Seasons if you need us before that, darling,’ he said, kissing his daughter’s cheek.

  Nathalie waved her parents off and joined her friends to dance the night away. She grabbed Mackenzie’s hand and they rushed to the rest room to touch up their make-up and have a quick chat.

  ‘Did you see Jonas?’ Mackenzie squealed. ‘He’s so hot and he brought me this.’ She showed Nathalie the exquisite bracelet on her arm.

  ‘Hey, I’m jealous,’ Nathalie said. ‘That’s awesome. He is so into you. That must’ve cost a fortune.’

  ‘I know!’ Mackenzie grinned. ‘That’s what happens when your date is rich!’ She bit her lip. ‘I’ve never had anything like this before. My mom nearly choked when I opened it.’

  Nathalie beamed back at her friend. Mackenzie had two brothers and a sister, and things at her home weren’t easy since her father had lost his job. Nathalie was thrilled to see her enjoying the princess treatment for a change.

  ‘He whispered that I look knock-dead stunning as we were getting into the limo,’ Mackenzie said with shining eyes.

  ‘Aw, that’s so great, sweetie. For the record, he’s right, you look amazing,’ Nathalie said. ‘He’s a good guy. I’ve got a great feeling about you two.’

  ‘I can’t really see why he’s chosen me, though. Have you seen how good Whitney looks? She’s on fire … Every time I look up, she’s glaring over at me. If I’d known it was going to upset her this much …’

  ‘Huh,’ Nathalie scoffed. ‘She’s pretty,
but as the song says, honey, she has an ugly heart. Besides, they split months ago. Jonas made his choice and I happen to agree with him. Besides, what guy wants to sit and listen to her going on and on about her latest photo shoot?’

  ‘I like her, though,’ Mackenzie said blinking.

  ‘Yeah, because you’re the nicest person I’ve ever met. I, on the other hand, am not quite as charitable. Where would I be without you? I’d be a total monster.’

  ‘Well, you’ll never need to find out.’ Mackenzie held up her pinkie and Nathalie linked it with hers.

  ‘So does Jonas know you’re planning on going away to college?’

  ‘Yeah, I mentioned it. But he says he’ll come and see me,’ Mackenzie said, shrugging. ‘It’s good that DJ and Jonas are buddies. If we stay with them, they’ll need to get along, seeing as we’ll be buying apartments next door to one another in the future.’

  ‘You said it,’ Nathalie answered as she passed her lip gloss to Mackenzie to use. ‘Do you reckon we can have a joint wedding? That way we can have babies at the same time …’

  ‘… and they’ll be best friends like us,’ Mackenzie finished.

  Nathalie hugged her friend and pulled her back out to the dance floor. The music was like a trip down memory lane as the songs that they’d all grown up with pumped from the speakers. Nathalie spotted Jonas watching them. He was eyeing Mackenzie appreciatively.

  ‘Your man is drinking you in,’ she said, cupping her friend’s ear. She took Mackenzie’s hands and moved her into the middle of the floor. She knew from her expression that Mackenzie was dying inside, but she encouraged her to keep going. As Jonas came over and put his arms around her from behind, Nathalie discreetly stepped away, winking at Mackenzie.

  The night seemed to pass in an instant. Nathalie was hoarse from shouting and her feet were aching from dancing. Then DJ made the unwelcome announcement that he hadn’t paid for the limo to take them home.

  ‘How are we meant to get there?’ Nathalie asked. ‘It’s like twenty minutes away. I’m wearing high shoes in case you hadn’t noticed.’

  She wasn’t about to admit it to anyone, least of all her father, but DJ was swiftly beginning to annoy her.

  ‘Hey,’ he said, flinging his hands up. ‘I don’t earn bags of cash. I paid for the car here. We can call a cab if you don’t want to walk.’

  ‘What’s up, sweetie?’ Mackenzie asked, appearing by Nathalie’s side.

  ‘DJ thinks I’m walking home,’ she whispered through gritted teeth.

  ‘Come with us, both of you. Jonas has a limo booked.’

  ‘Ah no. Thanks, but I don’t want to cramp your style.’

  Nathalie grinned as Mackenzie yanked her and DJ to the exit. As they climbed into the long-based black limousine, she was thrilled to see Whitney snarling at their car.

  ‘She’s so pissed!’ she laughed.

  ‘Aw, you’re incorrigible.’ Mackenzie swatted her. ‘She’s not that bad. I’m sure she’ll improve as she gets older.’

  As they settled in the back of the plush car, Nathalie couldn’t have been more delighted. The prom had lived up to their expectations, and she couldn’t believe how happy Mackenzie looked as she sat opposite her with Jonas’s arm draped around her shoulder.

  Chapter 2

  ‘Nathalie … wake up. Nathalie, please …’

  ‘Uh, stop, Mom.’ Nathalie groaned and tried to turn on to her side.

  ‘Nathalie, please.’ The loud sobs ripped through her dreams and made her sit bolt upright in the bed.

  ‘Mom?’

  Staring at her mother’s tear-stained face, Nathalie’s head shot towards the door, where her father was standing with his forehead against the frame, openly crying too.

  ‘What’s happened?’ Nathalie rubbed her eyes. ‘Where am I?’

  Her prom dress had been replaced by a limp hospital gown and there was a drip attached to her arm.

  ‘What happened?’ she repeated. ‘Mom? Speak to me.’

  Amber’s shoulders shook and she looked over to Max. Nathalie gripped her arm and willed her to explain.

  ‘I can’t do it, Max …’ Wriggling free from her daughter’s grasp, Amber staggered clumsily backwards and exited the room.

  Max edged towards the bed and sat down. Taking Nathalie’s hands in his own, he opened his mouth to speak. Nothing came out. Tears coursed down his cheeks.

  ‘I …’

  ‘What’s going on? Somebody tell me what the hell is happening here!’ Nathalie’s voice rose higher and higher until she was yelling. ‘Hello? Daddy? It seems only five minutes ago that I was dancing with my friends …’

  ‘There has been …’ He gulped and closed his eyes. ‘There has been a tragic accident.’

  ‘What?’ Nathalie’s eyes dashed wildly from side to side as she tried frantically to recall what had happened. ‘Who was in the accident?’

  ‘It’s Mackenzie …’

  ‘Nooo!’ Nathalie screamed. ‘No. No, don’t tell me … Is she OK? She’s fine, right? Daddy? She’s going to be OK, isn’t she?’

  ‘She’s dead, Nathalie.’

  The words hung in the air like slowly dissolving powder. Seconds passed before there was another sound.

  ‘I need to call her. She’ll be fine once I speak with her,’ Nathalie said, trying to climb out of her bed. ‘Find my cell phone.’

  ‘Nathalie.’ Max spoke sharply. ‘The limousine you were all travelling home in last night crashed. Mackenzie and Jonas were killed. Miraculously, you and DJ survived.’

  ‘Stop it!’ Nathalie yelled, covering her ears with her hands. ‘Shut up and quit talking. You’re giving me a headache. You’re lying. You’re saying the most offensive and vile stuff. You’re making me hate you, Dad …’

  Nathalie stared at her father’s tear-stained face. She’d never seen him cry before. She felt as if she were in a parallel universe. One moment her life was swell, and now all she could feel was this hideous ball of pain inside.

  ‘Why is Mackenzie hurt? Who would want to do that to her? She’s my best friend in the whole world.’

  ‘It’s the most unthinkable and unbearable tragedy, Nathalie,’ Max said. ‘A truck skidded and lost control. The back axis swivelled around and collided with the back of the limousine, taking it out. It seems Mackenzie and Jonas died instantly, while you and DJ escaped by a hair’s breath.’

  Nathalie tried to process the information. She could hear the words but none of it made any sense. She closed her eyes and tried to think about the night. She saw Mackenzie dancing with Jonas. She even saw Whitney with one hand on her skinny hip glowering at them. After that it was blank.

  This had to be a mistake. It couldn’t be true. Mackenzie was getting ready for college. They had so much stuff to do. Jonas was going to be there for her, treating her like gold dust and making her feel special.

  Nathalie realised her father was still speaking.

  ‘I hate to sound crass or rude, Dad. But I know you’ve made an awful mistake here. You’re wrong. Mackenzie is fine. I know. I was with her.’

  The conversation continued. Nathalie wanted to put her hands over her ears. Her father was babbling about internal injuries and how Mackenzie wouldn’t have known what had happened, how it was all so quick and she wouldn’t have suffered. Suffered! What was he doing here? Trying to break her spirit? This was all insane.

  Eventually the talk stopped. When her father left the room, Nathalie lay back against the uncomfortable hospital pillows. She gazed around. She needed to get out of here. That would be a good start. She’d go and find Mackenzie and clear this up. This needed to stop. All the crazy death talk. It was doing her head in.

  She groaned as her father and mother returned looking devastated still. She smiled and shook her head slowly.

  ‘It’ll be OK, you guys. No need to look so sad. Once I find some clothes, we’ll get out of here and I’ll find Mackenzie. It’s cool, yeah?’

  Suddenly Nathalie had an image of Jonas. He was
fine too, she assured herself. He wasn’t some kid who’d died in a freak accident. Mackenzie wasn’t a statistic, yet another horrific road death. She was Nathalie’s best friend. She was her other half. She couldn’t have died. She wouldn’t … They had so much to do together … It had to be a mistake.

  ‘Nathalie, honey,’ her father said. ‘I’ve spoken with Mackenzie’s parents and some of the staff here at the hospital. We feel it might be beneficial if you see Mackenzie’s body.’

  Amber held a bunch of scrunched-up tissues to her mouth and nose. A small, miserable sound escaped her lips.

  Nathalie sighed heavily. If this would get her parents off her back, she’d go. But she knew in her heart of hearts that Mackenzie wouldn’t be there. That it would be someone else. Some poor young girl who probably looked a bit like her. After all, it was prom season. There must’ve been a pile of proms on last night.

  It would be sad and awful and Nathalie would feel for this stranger’s family and friends. But it wouldn’t be Mackenzie.

  ‘OK, let’s do this,’ she said as she moved woodenly to the corridor. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other and clicked her fingers. First the left hand, then the right. She repeated it over and over. Her mom came to her side and stroked her matted hair.

  ‘Isn’t it odd that I can click really loud with my right hand and barely at all with my left?’ Nathalie said to nobody in particular.

  Max placed a dressing gown belonging to the hospital around her shoulders. He was babbling again. Only bits of it penetrated her psyche. Her head jerked to the side. He kept mentioning the body … That wasn’t right. That made no sense.

  ‘Will you stop with the morbid talk,’ she said.

  Her parents looked at one another in an odd manner and back at her. The pressure of their bewilderment weighed heavily on her. She closed her eyes and thought of the houses she and Mackenzie were going to own some day. Their front yards would be identical. It was all going to work out just the way they’d planned. This was just a big mix-up.

  ‘Nathalie,’ Max said gently. ‘Honey, you need to prepare yourself for what you’re about to see. Mackenzie may not look the way you remember. She will be bereft of colour and life. Are you sure you want this image imprinted on your mind for ever? Because this is something you will never forget, believe me.’ He took her in his arms and rocked her from side to side. ‘Would it be better for you to remember her the way she was? As the girl you loved?’