After we eat quietly, I leave him alone with his thoughts and clean up my mess in the kitchen. He’s watching some show where they fix up old cars. Out of habit I keep glancing at him wondering what he’s thinking while waiting for him to say something.
He joins me in the kitchen. “I can help with that.”
“Okay.” I hand him a dish towel. His hip rubs against my elbow, and I can hardly breathe.
He smiles down at me and licks his lips. I wonder if one kiss could break the spell. Could one kiss bring him back?
“Is it weird for you? Being here? I guess inside your head you should be ending your high school career and not be here with some girl you don’t remember.”
“It’s awkward. I won’t lie, but you seem chill.”
“Chill?” I laugh.
“Yeah. I appreciate you not jumping on me and trying to force things.”
“It’s hard. I’m used to kissing you when I want to.”
His gaze moves to my lips, and I think I made Killian Hendrix blush.
I like it.
Chapter 6
Killian
I stare at this girl, Liri. My girlfriend. I’m tempted to just grab her and kiss her to see if I can remember her, but I don’t want to give her false hope. She watches my every move. Hangs on my every word. Its sweet and miserable all rolled into one. I want to hop in my car and drive, but there is something inside me that warns me against hurting her. It goes against my nature. I don’t even date so the fact that I have a girlfriend that I live with is doing my head in. When I was released from the hospital, I planned on going home to my mother’s house, but the utter look of raw devastation on Liri’s face pained me. It made me want to hate her. I had Mom drop me here hoping that seeing the apartment where I have been living for the past however many months would make me remember but so far nothing has come back to me.
Her eyes though. There is something about her eyes, and when I peer into them, I feel like I know them. And yet I have no recollection of her. Those eyes sear me like she can see right through me. It makes me want to hate her even more.
“Towels are in the hall closet. All of your stuff is in the bedroom. I’ll just hang out in here while you shower or whatever. I have some writing to catch up on, but if you need anything let me know.”
“Okay.” Normally this is where I’d ask a girl to join me in the shower. Fuck her brains out then leave, but I live here and so does she. I may not remember her, but she doesn’t strike me as the kind of girl you fuck and bail on. I leave her to it and go into the bedroom to start rifling through the drawers for my clothes. I find her underwear drawer easy enough. Scraps of lace that probably are sexy as hell on her. I shake my head. I can’t get caught up in her physical beauty even if my body wants her. And man if I couldn’t strip her bare and get lost for a while. There’s no denying I find her attractive. She’s cute but so damn nervous. I guess I would be weirded out in her shoes.
I find my stuff and go into the bathroom, strip down, and start the water. I can remember all this simple little shit, but I can’t remember the one person who supposedly means everything to me. I don’t get the impression I was the world’s greatest boyfriend. I doubt I am deserving of her. Those blue eyes flash in my head. Her soft voice saying my name. I grow hard at the thought. Seems one part of my body remembers her at least. I try like hell to ignore the ache within me. The one that begs me to walk into that living room and take her on the floor then go out the damn door. It’s all I know. It’s what I do. I get what I want then never look back.
The hot water sprays down my back, and my need to have her intensifies. I can’t take the way she watches me expectantly. Those powder blue eyes begging me to remember, needing me to love her. Maybe she thinks she knows me, but she doesn’t. I’m not the good guy who plays house.
I’m the prick who uses girls and tosses them away.
Finishing my shower, I wrap a towel around my waist and strut into the living room. She’s laying back on the couch with a pencil stuck between her teeth. The way she is nibbling on it is cute. There’s a sketchpad on her lap but before I can get a good view at what she’s drawing she closes the book quickly.
“Hey. You find everything okay?”
“Almost.” I move toward her and she sits up, placing the pencil and notebook on the table.
“Anything I can help you with?”
I don’t reply. I don’t want to talk.
“Killian?” Liri’s brows lift at the same time as the corners of her mouth. I know she sees the hungry expression in my eyes.
“I don’t remember but maybe this will help me.” Grabbing Liri by the wrists, I draw her to her feet. I close my eyes and press my lips to hers. Fire burns in my veins, and I feel alive. My heart slams against my chest. Thump thump. Thump thump.
Pulse ringing in my ears, her nails sink into my shoulders. Moving her tongue with mine, she tastes of cheese and lettuce, but I don’t mind it. All my blood goes rushing to my dick, and I wonder how long it’s been since I’ve gotten laid. Liri leans into me, and I break away.
“How was that?” She breathes the words out rubbing her fingertip over her lips.
“Pleasurable.”
She laughs, and it’s music to my ears. The hair on my arms stands in awareness. My mind doesn’t know her, but my body damn sure does. It’s a dick thing to do, but I take advantage of the situation and her. I’m an asshole and being my girlfriend, she should know better…know me better.
“Killian…”
“Shh. Don’t talk.” I claim her mouth, thrusting my tongue deep in her mouth, taking all she will give. I ignore the nagging voice in my head that says this girl deserves better. Right now I want to be selfish. I deserve to be. I nearly died. I’m entitled to some fun, and she happens to be willing.
Grabbing the hem of her shirt I lift it over her head. She’s beautiful. Trailing my fingers over the pink lace cups of her bra a thrill shoots through me when a shudder trembles through her body in response to my touch. Yeah, she wants me…well her version of me that she thinks she knows.
Pink and swollen her lips part. Her tongue darts out, wetting her mouth. Pure desire flows through my veins. I can only imagine how good she’d feel wrapping her lips around me.
“Killian…I love you but don’t want to take advantage of your situation.”
My head goes back as I roar with laughter. Her take advantage of me? That’s comical.
“If you want me to stop…” I dip my head down and bring her lips to mine. “Just say the word.”
“I never want you to stop wanting me,” she whispers, her words dying in my mouth when she kisses me. Her tongue moves against mine, and I bet she holds paradise between her thighs. Kissing down her neck, I take my time. She isn’t the type of girl you take fast though I want nothing more than to be inside her. Pinching the pink lace between my fingers, I jerk the cups of her bra down, exposing her breasts. Her muddy rose nipples are begging to be kissed and sucked…bitten.
I lift her petite frame easily. Her legs go around me, arms cradling my neck.
Our mouths fuse together, and I carry her toward the bedroom.
Chapter 7
Liri
The back of my head bounces off the wall of the small hallway of our apartment. Killian has me up against the wall. His mouth clamped around one of my nipples. Pleasure, elation, confusion, and desire float between us. In this moment I feel like my boyfriend’s back. My Killian. The man who drives me crazy and loves me like no other.
The towel around his waist falls to the floor and his erection presses between my thighs. “God, Killian.”
His dark eyes snap up to mine. He seems lost but hungry for me. I should say no. I should be strong enough to say no, but I can’t. I’ll take him any way I can have him. I love him. I’ll do anything to keep him even if it hurts like hell.
I slide down his body, feet planting on the floor. His fingers go straight to the button on my jeans as he goes to his knees, kneelin
g before me as though he is about to pray. Killian pauses and eyes me one more time waiting for permission or for me to stop him. I can’t. I won’t. I need this and he does too. My teeth sink into my bottom lip, and I give him a nod, running my fingers through his dark hair. The denim slides down my legs and his lips press against my stomach. His hands go around me to cup my rear giving me a tight possessive squeeze that sends warmth pooling in my belly.
“I like these.” He sucks the little white silk bow on my bottoms into his mouth and rips it off with his teeth.
My boyfriend’s back, and he’s hotter than ever.
Brushing his nose against the crotch of my panties he inhales my scent and growls. Excitement spreads through me like lava as I melt under his touch.
“Take me to bed,” I pant the words out, tilting his chin up. Our gazes lock full of need and want. I’m on fire and the only thing that can put me out is him. Taking his hands in mine, I pull the man I love more than life to his feet and lead him to the bed we share. The bed that’s been empty for two weeks.
I don’t bother turning the sheets down. I just need him to lay me down and make love to me. Killian sits on the edge of the bed, and I move to stand between his legs. Fisting the waistline of my dainty pink lace bottoms, he jerks them down my thighs. I step out of them and kick them aside. Those strong arms I’ve missed so much go around me, and he draws me down on top of him as he lays back. We’re skin to skin, and I fade into him. No words pass between us. I sink down on his erection, spreading my palms and fingers out on his chest. He closes his eyes and grips my hips. Our bodies rock together in slow motion, and I feel on top of the world with him inside me. His fingers trail up and down the path between the valley of my breasts. He repeats the motion until I grab his hand and bring his fingers to my mouth. I grind on him and he moves his hand to my throat. I smile at him.
Killian winks at me then rolls us so that he’s on top. He may not remember that he loves me, but his body does. His hands and his cock do all the talking for him. Hitching my knee over his hip he drives into me. His muscles flex and he draws out only to push back in deeper and harder. My back bows off the bed, and I stare up at him wondering what he’s thinking…if he’s thinking at all.
I want to hear him say he loves me, but I won’t push him. He talks dirty in my ear. “Baby, you’re so hot. Feel so good.” His weight presses down on me, and he bites my neck. Hips rubbing against me, fingers bruising my thighs, evidence of how much he wants me.
“I thought I lost you,” I whisper.
He cuts me off with a kiss. Tongue twisting with mine, sweat dripping down his hard body.
“Fuck, Liri.” Hearing my name leave his lips feels like a gift and it gets me off. I tremble beneath him, scratching my nails down his back, marking him with my love.
Killian shudders and shakes. His release takes hold and he collapses next to me.
I run my fingers through his damp with sweat hair. “You okay?”
“I’m spent.” He breathes out and closes his eyes.
“You should sleep.” I press my lips to his, and he turns away from me. My heart drops to my feet. “Killian?”
“I’m tired,” he mumbles and hugs up to a pillow.
I shove up from the bed feeling dirty and used. In the bathroom I start the shower and survey my naked reflection in the mirror. Lips swollen and puffy. Teeth marks on my breasts. Purple bruises forming on my inner thighs and hips from his fingertips. Tears spill down my cheeks, and I tell myself that as long as he’s he with me I’m going to be fine.
Stepping under the spray of lukewarm water, I wash away his touch and his smell. I scrub between my legs and feel so empty inside. I should have made him wait, but I was stupid and needy. Killian is back to his old ways. I should have known better. He gets what he wants then never wants it again. I hear a heavy thump and bile rises in my throat.
I hurry to get out of the shower, but it’s too late. I hear his engine revving in the parking lot.
I don’t know where he’s going or how to reach him. He has no phone.
Wrapping my robe around me, I pad through the apartment refusing to acknowledge the tangled sheets on our bed afraid I will break if I do.
I go through the apartment turning off lights and question whether to lock the door, but he has his keys with him if he decides to come back. I’m not going to chase after him. I don’t have the energy. I am mentally drained and all my sleeping in a chair at the hospital has caught up with me. I pick up the trail of dirty laundry we left along my way back to the bedroom.
I hear the doorknob turn, and I pivot meeting his guilty expression as he walks through the door. “I thought you left.”
“I wanted to.”
I nod and continue to put our dirty stuff in the hamper. In the bathroom I go through the motions of brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed. I don’t know what he’s doing. If he plans on coming to bed with me or sleeping on the couch. I catch his reflection in the mirror he’s in the bedroom getting a pillow off the bed.
I guess that answers my question. I close my eyes and count to ten. I don’t want to yell at him and drive him further away. I know he can’t help that he doesn’t remember that he loves me. I go into the bedroom intent on telling him that there is an extra blanket in the top of the closet but stop when I see that he was only remaking the bed.
“Which side do you prefer?” He’s wearing a pair of black drawstring pants that hang low on his hips.
“The right,” I answer over my shoulder as I open a drawer of the dresser and pull out a pair of panties. I slip them on and drop the robe.
Killian’s arm snakes around my waist, his chin meets my shoulder, and his breath blows on my neck. My nerves hum in awareness, and I hate that I am ready to just fall into his arms. “Then I’ll take the left.”
“Okay.” I move from his hold and grab a tank top and pull it down my torso covering my breasts.
He goes into the bathroom and closes the door. I get into bed and roll to my side. I’m so tired but can’t sleep. I want this to be over. I want us to pick up where we left off and move on, but part of me is still so damn angry with him over everything.
Hayley.
Liam.
The race.
The wreck.
We haven’t resolved any of our issues. I thought if he came back to me, I’d be able to let go of all those hurts, but the wounds still linger under the surface fresh as ever.
The bathroom door opens, and Killian turns off the light. I feel his gaze on me and roll to my back. “You’re upset with me.” The bed dips and the covers tug as he slips underneath them.
“It’s not important right now.”
“Tell me about that night. The night of the accident.”
“You sure you want to hear it?”
His hand finds mine under the covers and he pulls me toward him. My head goes to his chest and I breathe him in. Killian will be the death of me, but I need this. I don’t know how he knows that I need his arms holding me tight, but he gives me exactly what I want.
“Tell me about us.”
“We were fighting. It was bad. When we’re good nothing can come between us but when we’re bad it gets ugly. It was uglier than you can imagine. The night we first met you bet me in a race.”
“I did what?” his fingers rub along my shoulder.
“Gas or ass you called it. You told me you never lose. And lucky for you that night you didn’t. I wanted to hate you. I thought you were a cocky jerk, but a cute jerk. I got out of your car thinking I would never speak to you again, but you followed me to my door, and you kissed me. When you kissed me, I thought this guy is trouble because I want to kiss him forever.”
I peer up at him wanting his mouth, and he gives it to me. It’s innocent enough when our lips press together but his kiss makes me feel safe. Like nothing will come between us. I know that’s a lie but it’s one my heart will greedily hang onto.
“You thought I was a dork. You hated my clot
hes. Especially my leggings. Anyway, eventually you won me over, and I fell so madly in love with you. You were mysterious and broody, but so damn sexy.” I stroke my finger up and down his tattoo on his side. Three birds escaping from their cage. “We fought a lot but when we made up all the bad was worth it. I found out something about you. Something that cut me to the core. You lied to me about someone close to me. My cousin Hayley went to your high school. You had told me that you made out with her but nothing more than that. It was a lie—you fucked her on prom night.”
“Big boobed chick?”
“That’s the one.” I want to punch him in the nuts. Of course he remembers her. “She was dating Liam.”
“Who’s that?”
“Your best friend. Well he was. Now I’m not sure. He played a big part in that night. He was pissed off about Hayley. They were already broken up over some other drama but finding out about the two of you hurt Liam like it hurt me. He challenged you to a race, and I was the prize. When I left the party the two of you were fighting. Next thing I know I get a call that you accepted the challenge, and I got there just in time to get in the car with you.”
“What happened after that? Were you in the accident with me?”
“No that came later. I begged you to stop but you said you had to go through with it. You were drunk and acting like a real asshole. You lost and when it came time to collect, these bitches you had also fucked around with pulled me out of the car and dragged me to Liam. I lost my top in the scuffle and Liam…he kissed me and grabbed my boob.”
“Did I try to kill him?” His arm tightens around me.
“You wanted to. He took off in his car after Hunter tackled him, and you took off after him.”
“Who’s Hunter?”
“A friend of mine. You don’t like him much, but he took up for me. He’s the one who drove me there to find you. He hurt his shoulder and has lost his swimming scholarship thanks to me.”
“Jesus.”
“He needed to go to the hospital, so Hayley offered to drive, and we got stuck in traffic behind your accident. I got out of the car and there you were in the road. I thought you were dead, and I knew that if you were, I’d soon follow behind you.”
The Conclusion of Killian & Liri (Cruel Love Book 2) Page 3