“I hope so.”
“Things have a way of working out. I’ll let you in on a secret. I still love Conrad and losing him about killed me, but I survived and moved on with my life. If Killian doesn’t get his head out of his ass and grow up, you will too. You’ll find your way, but don’t sit around and wait for him. I love my son and hope to god he sees what he has but not at the cost of your happiness.”
“Thanks, Diane.”
“I hope you don’t think I am overstepping, but I know you’re a good girl. You’re smart, and you love Killian as much as I do. Maybe more.”
Tears well up and I feel so stupid and emotional. “I should let you get home. Thanks for everything.”
“Even if things with Killian don’t work out, you can talk to me anytime you want. You’ve got my number. Use it.”
“I will.”
“Good. Now drive safe.”
Diane drives off once I am in my car. I grab my phone from my bag before I start my car.
I have a few missed messages from Hunter asking how I am and wishing me a happy turkey day. I’ll text him back later.
My Mom has tried to call me a few times, but there’s nothing from Killian. Not that I expected there to be. I dial Mom and hope she doesn’t fight with me.
“Sweetheart, I was wondering if I was going to hear from you.”
“Sorry, I’m getting ready to leave from Conrad’s. My phone has been in my purse all day. What’d you do today?”
“I went and visited your father.”
My stomach muscles clench. “James?”
“Yes. I was hoping to have this conversation in person, but he’s not doing that great. He’s had another stroke.”
“I see. Um…did you talk to him?”
“No. He was sedated. I saw the picture you did of him. It’s beautiful, Liri. He’d be so proud of you.”
“Mom. I just…I can’t right now.” I blink away the tears. Every time I think of James, I feel guilty. I haven’t been back to see him. “I’m getting ready to drive.”
“Okay. We can talk about it later. How’s Killian?”
I pause unsure of what to say. “He’s okay. Taking his recovery one day at a time. He’s spending the night at his dad’s. He um…well he didn’t remember about Conrad’s health issues, and the cancer’s back. I’m giving him some time with him,” I lie through my teeth.
“I’m sorry to hear that. If you need anything, let me know. I’m sorry for how things have been between us. I’ve not really been myself.”
“It’s okay, Mom. I love you. We’ll talk soon.”
“I love you my sweet girl. I hope you’ll come for a visit soon.”
“Maybe.”
I don’t tell her she was right about Killian. Instead I end the call and start my car. I drive to the apartment. Killian’s car isn’t here. Not that I was expecting it to be. The apartment is dark and quiet, and it doesn’t appear Killian has been back here at all. I’m tempted to drive past the frat house to see if that’s where he is, but I don’t want to put myself through that again. If I see him with someone else, it will kill me if I don’t kill him first.
I shove the leftovers Diane sent for Killian in the fridge. Flopping down on the couch I decide to call Hunter and see if his holiday was better than mine.
“Hey,” I whisper and shake my head at myself. I don’t know why I am whispering.
“What’s up?”
“Everything’s down.”
He chuckles and I grin. “You got jokes.”
“How was your day? Did you go home?”
“Yeah. It was pretty uneventful. My father drank too much, and my mother zoned out on her nerve pills.”
“What about your sister?”
“She’s working.”
“She’s always working.”
“Um…your family was topic of conversation today.”
“Oh yeah. What about them?”
“Rumor has it your parents split up.”
“What did you hear?”
“That your mom and Cooper have been fucking behind Theo’s back for years.”
“Okay I did not need the mental image that came with that just now. Thanks a lot.” Cooper isn’t my actual uncle, but I was raised like he was so it’s gross to think of him or my mom sleeping with anyone, especially each other.
“Hey, you asked.”
“I totally walked right into that.”
“How’s things going with Killian?”
“They aren’t.”
“What do you mean?”
I let out a sigh and change positions on the couch. “He um…well we broke-up but then he came back, but nothing was really settled. Then there was this scene at his dad’s today, and I don’t know where he is.”
“Want me to kill him? I have a shovel and a tarp, but I gotta warn you I’ve got a bad arm. You’ll have to do all the lifting.”
I snort. “Shut up. That’s not even funny.”
“Oh, come on. It was a little funny.”
“No. That was so cheesy I should offer you crackers to go with it.” I hear Killian’s car growling in the parking lot. “Hey, I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“He already come back? That lasted a whole five minutes this time.”
“You’re such an asshole.”
“Later, Liri.” The call ends and I sit up and try to appear natural like I’m not waiting for him to come through the door. The lock clicks, and I snatch my e-reader off the table pretending to be deeply invested in the first thing that opens on the screen.
It is physically painful not to face him when he comes through the door. His keys clang against the countertop. “Your mom sent some leftovers back for you. I put them in the fridge.” I glance at him quickly, and he has a cut on his jaw. “What happened?”
“Got in a fight at some bar.”
“Seriously? What for?”
“Does it matter?”
“Maybe it doesn’t matter to you, but it does to me.” I put my device on the coffee table.
“Do we have any alcohol?” He starts pilfering through the cabinets and the fridge.
“No.”
“Can we get some?”
“It’s late, and I think everything is closed.”
“Too bad. I thought it might be fun to get you drunk.”
I laugh. “You think I’m a terrible drunk.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I tend to get wild.”
“Wild how?”
I purse my lips and wonder what his reaction will be. “So, we kind of went viral once at a party. My Uncle Cooper tried to get it taken down, but it keeps popping back up.” I pull the video up on my phone that Jackie sold of me telling Killian to spank me. “See for yourself.” I hand my phone to him. My heartbeat leaps to my throat, and I wait for him to hit play. I should be yelling at him for fighting, but I think he needs a distraction and maybe for now that can be me.
His expression is blank the first time he watches. I don’t know why I never thought to show him this. Maybe it can spark something. Spreading slowly those lips I love to kiss stretch into a smile then full on laughter escapes them. “Come on.” Killian grabs my hand.
“Where are we going?”
He grabs his keys. “To find a liquor store.”
“Oh no. No way.”
“Oh yes. I gotta see this side of you in person.”
Chapter 12
Liri
“What are you doing? Your dad will kill us.”
“He won’t know.”
“Yes, he will. He keeps tabs on his inventory.”
He pulls his wallet out, fingering through the bills and slaps a fifty on the counter. “Happy?”
I shake my head. “A little.”
“You’ll be feeling good soon.” He steps behind the bar I work at for his father and grabs a couple of bottles.
I swore I would never drink again but Killian is being fun, and I don’t want to run him off or put him in another sour m
ood. I’m pathetic. Putting a shot glass in front of me he fills it with liquor and Red Bull and pours one for himself.
“Drink up.”
I’m a complete chicken, pinching my nose as I toss the drink back. It slides down my throat smoothly “What is that?”
“It’s called a Jäger bomb.”
“Tastes like cotton candy kinda. Pour me another.”
“I think I misjudged you.”
“I’m not a complete prude.” I grin and toss back my next shot. “We need some music.” I get up from my stool and go over to the jukebox. It rarely gets used and all the songs on it are older. It doesn’t take money it only needs plugged in. The neon lights glow in the dark room. Pour Some Sugar on Me, by Def Leppard starts up.
Killian is watching me intently. When it’s just the two of us everything in the world feels right. Swaying my hips side to side, I make a come here motion, crooking my finger at him. He shakes his head. “Don’t be a party pooper. You wanted me in action now you have me.” I grab the liquor bottle and chug.
His hand wraps around mine, jerking the bottle way. “Easy now. I don’t want you to get sick.”
“You had to wash puke out of my hair once.” I smirk and jab him in the cheek with my nail. The music continues to play, and I grow warm and tingly all over. Moving up on my knees on the dark leather and wooden stool I climb onto the bar and wobble when I try to stand up.
“What the hell are you doing? Get down before you hurt yourself. Jesus, Liri.”
“You ever watched Coyote Ugly?” I wrap my arm around one of the support beams on the end and twirl.
“No.”
“You should.” I do my best impression of the bartenders dancing on the bar from the movie and laugh. I gyrate my hips and shake my ass probably looking like an idiot, but the liquor is coursing through my veins and giving me liquid courage.
Killian shakes his head and comes to a stop in front of me. “Come on, wild thing.” I squat down and nearly fall into him, but he grabs my shoulders and steadies me. I stare deeply in his eyes searching for the man I love, but I don’t find him there. I close my eyes and lick my lips.
Killian slides an arm under my ass and my arms cradle his neck. He lifts me from the bar, and I gape at him feeling a bit dizzy. He puts me on my feet, but I don’t let go of him. “Dance with me.” I hiccup.
“I don’t dance.”
I get up in his face. “You dance with me.” I twist, turning my back to him and rub my ass over his crotch. “You said you wanted to have fun.” I sway my hips and continue to rub against him.
Eventually he gives in. Hands on my hips, we move to the music slower than the tempo. Rolling my head back I gaze up at the wooden beams of the ceiling. The hands I have felt touch me countless times slide up and down my sides and his lips meet my neck. Lips parting, I let out a moan loving the way his mouth feels on me.
“You’re dangerous, Liri.” Dragging his lips up my neck to my jaw, he teases me.
“Why’s that?” My gaze roams back to him.
“Because you’re addictive and all I can think about. I hate it. Sometimes I think I hate you, and I feel guilty because that doesn’t seem fair of me when you say you love me all the time.”
“You love me too, Killian. You feel it…I know you do, and it scares the shit out of you. I won’t go anywhere until you give me reason to.”
I kiss the corner of his mouth and step away from him. I want him to grab me and pull me back, but he lets me go.
“I told you I’m no good. I can’t be what you want.” His gaze locks on mine, and I know he believes that, but I know better. He’s shown me better. Killian has good in him. He tries to fight it and hide it, but I know the real him. I see past the mood swings and outbursts he puts on for the rest of the world, but he can’t hide from me.
I feel frozen. Torn between wanting to attack him and scream in his face. Make him admit he loves me or letting him go and releasing myself from this torment. So much push and pull. I have whiplash.
“You told me to make you forget. Did you mean that?”
“No,” I whisper. “I don’t think there is a thing you could do to make me forget you and the way I feel. You’re in my bones. In my blood.”
He steps toward me, lacing his fingers with mine. “I wish I could love you the way you want.” Dipping his head down he traces the outline of my lips with the tip of his tongue.
“I think you promised to fuck me all the way to Hell.” I smirk and he laughs.
“That what you want?”
“I want you, Killian. How many times can I say it? How many ways? How many languages you want it in? Je te veux.”
“Fuck. I don’t know what you just said but it was sexy. Say it again.”
I giggle. “Je te veux.” I kiss his lips. “It’s French. I want you.”
“One more time,” he growls.”
“Je te veux.” I grab the hem of his shirt and lift.
He swallows hard but gives me what I want, pulling the grey cotton Henley tee off. Dropping to my knees on the hardwood floor, I stare up at him through my lashes and press my mouth to his abs, teasing him with my tongue. I want to make him feel good. I want to make him smile.
Threading his fingers through my hair he forces my head up. “You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” I undo the button of his dark jeans then grab the zipper with my teeth. Killian can say he doesn’t love me all he wants, but he’s falling for me all over again. And in moments like these where he’s vulnerable and honest I know I can’t walk away even if it’d be easier.
My man’s still in there, and I’ll bring him to the surface.
Jerking his pants down his thighs, I bring his black boxer briefs down with them. His erection springs free and about hits me in the face. I can’t stop the giggle that leaves my mouth and Killian scowls at me.
“Sorry, sir. Your sword almost hit me in the face.” I do my best to make a straight face, but he scowls harder at me. “I’m sorry.” I lick my lips and wrap my hand around his shaft. “Je te veux.” I kiss the tip of his bulbous head.
His nostrils widen and his pupils dilate. “This won't change anything.”
“Why don't you just shut up and enjoy it.” Not giving him a chance to reply, I widen my mouth and slide him between my lips. Flattening my tongue along the underside of his rigid length I suck.
“Fuck,” he lets out a hiss, tightening his hold on my hair. “Why you gotta be so damn perfect, Liri.” I know it isn't a question. I moan around him taking him further into my mouth.
Killian moves his hips and takes over. He fucks my mouth soft and slow at first. Saliva drips down my chin, and I’m eager to get him off. My mouth starts to hurt, but I don't stop. I am determined to show him how good we are together. How perfectly we fit. I’ve never made it this long before.
Popping from my mouth he stares down at me with hungry eyes. Guiding me to my feet he lifts me onto the bar. Hands on my hips he tugs on my pants. I will never regard this bar the same ever again.
“Spread your legs,” he demands, pushing my knees apart. I do as he wants. I don't believe I will ever be able to deny him. He presses me flat on my back. Sitting on the stool, his hands wrap around my ankles and he places my legs over his shoulders.
Inhaling my arousal, he kisses my clit, swirling the tip of his tongue over the sensitive bundle of nerves pulsing so fast. Killian is feasting on me, licking my slit while fingering me at the same time.
I’m so close to getting off but I want him inside me. “I need you.”
He grins up at me from between my thighs, mouth glistening with my wetness. “Patience. It's a long ride to Hell and you gotta pay the toll.”
“Kill-ian,” the name comes out in a broken cry.
He ignores my plea, adding a second finger inside me, sliding them in and out at a leisurely pace. My knees shake, and I arch my back, moving my hips, wanting to feel his touch deeper and harder.
“Go faster.” I wiggle, but
it has the opposite effect. His mouth moves up to my stomach leaving a trail of fire in his wake. His attention switches to my breasts. Sucking my tender buds into his hot wet mouth. The act is torture. Bittersweet torture, because no man could ever make me feel the way he does. “Babe, I’m gonna die if you don't give me your cock soon.”
Giving me what I want, he pushes my legs off to the sides and stands between them kicking the stool behind him. Gripping his cock in his fist he rubs the head through my slick heat.
I thrash beneath him, done with his teasing as he looms over me. Lining up our bodies finally he pushes in. Holding my hips, he takes me in long strokes, bringing me closer to the edge with every brush of his cock inside me. Every time I think he’s going to let me free fall over the cliff he denies me by pulling out. I’m so turned on my desire nearly runs down my thighs.
“You’re so fuckin’ wet, baby. You feel so good. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this up.” He attempts to pull out again, but I’m not having it. Fire courses through my veins, and I lock my ankles around him, keeping him right where I want him.
“Gimme’ your mouth on mine, Killian. Kiss me.”
Leaning forward to give me his mouth, he sinks deeper inside me. Chest to chest slick with sweat it feels as though we are one. Parting my lips, I open to him, our tongues meet, and fireworks pop off behind my eyes. My release takes hold of me, and I dig my nails into his arms.
Killian groans into my mouth with a heavy breath and paints my inner walls with his passion as he shudders. Resting his forehead against mine he says, “I think I know how you convinced me to move in with you.”
I smile. “Actually, we didn’t have sex until after we moved in together.”
He pulls back and stares at me. “Seriously?”
“Mhmm. We didn’t have any furniture yet so you—we bought an air mattress. And after we got in the shower and realized we didn’t have towels or anything. I dried off with your t-shirt. We were freezing it was so unusually cold that night. You went in the middle of the night and bought us blankets, food, and towels. Some dishes. We were really happy.”
He pulls out of me, and I sit up. “We were, weren’t we?”
The Conclusion of Killian & Liri (Cruel Love Book 2) Page 6