“Yeah. We could find it again.”
Killian goes so quiet that it scares me but then he smiles. “I know I’m an asshole, but you seem to love me despite it. I like having sex with you obviously which isn’t a bad thing, but I never do repeats. I can’t seem to say away from you, Liri. There’s something about you…like there’s an invisible string that keeps me tethered to you.”
Chapter 13
Liri
Things have been going decent for the past week. Killian and I have been spending most of our time catching up our assignments and prepping for finals before winter break. I was worried about him pulling it off, but I helped him study his ass off. My man is smart even though his memories of the past two years still elude him. He’s still hung up on me calling him my boyfriend, but I told him to suck it up because he’s stuck with me. We’ve been so caught up in schoolwork and living off takeout, we haven’t had much of a social life.
I know I can’t keep him to myself forever. His old friends have been blowing up his phone nonstop now that he has it back, and they know he’s back at school. They keep inviting him to the frat house, and he hasn’t gone as far as I know. Unless he went on the nights I had to work. We’re supposed to have dinner with Noelle, Dillan, and the girls this weekend. With the wedding getting closer Killian needs to get over his issues one way or another. He’s supposed to be his best man in the ceremony, and I’m Noelle’s maid of honor.
Digging in my bag for my lip balm my hand lands on something else and my blood goes cold. I pull out my birth control pills. My stomach rolls and I open the pill container up while pulling up the calendar on my phone. Killian comes in from his study session at the library. I don’t want to freak him out, so I shove the pills back in my purse.
“What are you doing? You look guilty. Sneaking and watching porn while I was out?”
My cheeks go pink. “No. Just um searching up our travel stuff for Vegas.”
“I haven’t agreed to that yet.”
“Well, I’m going with or without you. Noelle is my friend, and I promised. Did you want to go with me tonight and shop for a tree.”
“A tree?”
“For Christmas, silly. It’s going to be here before we know it.”
“Do we need a tree?”
“Yes! I live for Christmas and all the cheesy romantic movies. Hot chocolate and making smores and eating popcorn.”
He grins. “If it means that much to you then okay.”
“Yay!” I clap my hands and dance in my seat on the couch. My purse falls over, and I pick it up.
“You dropped something.” He leans down and picks up my birth control packet that must’ve fallen out.
“Oh. Thanks. I was needing these.”
“They haven’t been opened, Liri.”
“It’s a new pack.” I grab the foil backed plastic from his hand.
His face goes pale. “We’ve not been using condoms.”
“We never have. I’m the only girl you haven’t used them with. I went on the pill before we ever had sex. I was taking it religiously until the accident. It’s fine, Killian.”
“Are you trying to trap me?”
“What!? No. I wouldn’t do that. I’m not Jackie.”
“Who the hell is Jackie?”
“One of your fuck buddies you gave money to have an abortion behind my back.”
“I did what?”
“You heard me, Killian. I can’t believe you’d compare me to that bitch after all the shit she has put us through.”
“I don’t even know who the fuck she is. Right now I’m talking about you missing your pills and hiding it from me.”
“I wasn’t hiding it.” Well. Okay I kind of was but it’s not the point. “A baby is the last thing I’d want with you right now.”
He laughs with a shake of his head. “I’m out of here.”
“Stop, let’s just take a second to talk.”
“I’m done talking, Liri. You’ve loved having me all to yourself this past week. Spreading your legs for me every morning and night. Don’t tell me you weren’t hoping you’d get pregnant and that I’d what—want to marry you.”
“I’ve never brought up either to you. We’ve not been dating that long, and we’re still in college. Of course I thought one day we’d get to that but not anytime soon, Killian. Not right now when you don’t even know if you love me or not. And I would talk to you about it.”
“Like you were when I came through the door?”
“It’s not like that.” Tears roll down my cheeks steady as the snow that is falling outside. I fucked up. I fucked up so damn bad with him just now.
He pokes me in the chest hard with his finger. “That’s exactly what it’s like.”
“I don’t want you driving upset. Not like this.”
“You’re not my mother. And you damn sure aren’t my girlfriend.” He stomps right back out the door and slams it so hard a picture falls off the wall and shatters.
I know better than to go chasing after him. He’ll be out of the damn parking lot before I reach him. If I try to call him there is no way he will answer. I know how Killian works. He’s probably going to the frat house to get drunk with Ben or Woodrow. Possibly Liam. I’ll be here worrying myself sick about who or what he’s doing. How many times are we going to go through this cycle of fighting and making up? When will it ever be enough for one of us to walk away?
I know that for me I don’t think I will ever be able to let him go. I love him. I love him more than anything. But this time he doesn’t love me. I think he was starting to, but I messed it up by not being honest.
I wish I could hit rewind on the past ten minutes and take them back. I need a do over, but in real life there are no redoes.
He spins his tires peeling out of the parking lot and blaring his music. I get up and grab the broom and dustpan to clean up the glass. Crouching down, starting with the bigger pieces first, I stack them in my hand. When I go to stand, I feel dizzy and make a fist around the glass like an idiot. I wince and my palm splits open along with my fingers. Blood droplets splatter on the floor and more tears fall. On shaky legs I make it to the kitchen. Opening my palm and dropping the glass into the sink I run cold water over the small cuts and the big gash. “Shit.” I sniffle and rub at my nose.
Pain lances through me from my hand all the way to my throat. I feel nauseated and weak. I can feel my pulse in my ears. I know it’s the sight of the blood making me sick. The bleeding is letting up, and I feel like I am going to pass out. My phone is in my purse on the couch. I grab a clean dishtowel out of a nearby drawer and wrap it around my hand.
Sinking down on the couch I get my phone out and dial Killian. He’s shut his phone off or set my calls to ignore. Mom is too far away for me to bother her. There is no way I am contacting Hayley, and I don’t want to bug Noelle. I dial the one person who never lets me down.
“Hey. Long time no talk.”
“Um, Hunter, could you um…I cut my hand, and I don’t know what to do.”
“You don’t sound too hot. You okay?”
“No,” I croak.
“Where are you?”
“My apartment.”
“Where’s Killian?”
“No idea.”
“My sister’s home. We’ll be right over.”
“Thanks.”
Twenty minutes later Hunter and his sister Jill arrive with her medical bag.
“Those fingers need stitches but lucky for you I can do them here. Your palm only needs cleaned and bandaged.”
“Thank you so much for coming over. I feel so stupid.”
“I am more concerned with you feeling faint. Have you eaten today? I’d like to check your blood sugar at least.”
“I had a light lunch.”
“Hunter, get her a drink. Do you have crackers?”
I nod and she smiles at me. She resembles an older female version of Hunter with a wig on. It’s kind of creepy how much they resemble one another.
I end up with five small sutures in my three fingers of my left hand. Jill gives me some ointment and extra bandages for my hand but makes me promise I will text her or Hunter if I have any problems.
She leaves and he stays over to catch up. We’ve not really spoken all that much since Killian came home.
“What happened this time? You and Killian fight and make up more than any couple I have ever seen in my life. You’re like a freaking telenovela.”
“We are not that bad.”
Hunter snorts. “Whatever you say.” His cell buzzes, and he pulls it out of his back pocket.
“How many more weeks are you in that sling?”
“Two at least.” He makes a weird face.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He shakes his head.
“That wasn’t a nothing face.”
“There’s a party at the frat house.”
“Killian’s there, isn’t he?”
“I wasn’t going to tell you, but you should know I called him on the way here.”
“Why?”
“To yell at him for not being here when you need him, Liri. I watched you practically wilt away next to his bedside when he was in a coma. He should be here taking care of you.”
“Hunter…”
“He asked me something weird.”
“What?”
“He asked me if I had ever kissed you.”
“What’d you say?”
“I told him yeah.”
“Then what?” My pulse pounds in my ears and my heart hurts. Why would Killian ask him that?
“He hung up on me.”
“And just now? Was that him?”
“He sent this.” Hunter hands me his phone and my heart stops. It’s a photo of Killian and Jackie. Her lips are pressed to his cheek, and he’s got that broody smirk on his face that I love. The one I felt was reserved only for me.
Anger pours through me. “I’m going to kill him.”
“Liri. I promised you I’d always be your friend, and I thought you guys belonged together, but all that bastard does is make you cry. It’s time to give him up. He obviously has no respect for you.”
“He lost his memory…” I catch myself making excuses for him and stop. “Call a cab or something. I’m going over there.” I push up from the couch determined.
“No.”
“Hunter, I’m not asking, and I don’t think either of us can drive my car right now. I’m going with or without your help.”
“Liri, I’m begging you not to go. By the time you get there…”
“Then I need to see it for myself.” Going to the frat house and seeing him with her is the last thing I want, but I owe it to myself.
“Fine. Have it your way.” Hunter punches the Uber app on his phone. “They’ll be here soon.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. It’s what a good friend does even if I think that you’re making a huge mistake. He’s only going to break your heart.”
“It’s my heart to get broken. I don’t expect you to understand but I hope as my friend you can support my choice here.”
Chapter 14
Liri
The Uber Hunter arranged for drops us outside of the frat house, and I feel like I’m going to throw up in the bushes any second now. My face goes pale as I stare at the house. It’s cold enough no one is really hanging out on the lawn. There’s no one to warn Killian that I’m here.
“You don’t have to do this, Liri.”
“Yes…” I pause and suck in a deep breath. “I have to know.”
“I don’t want to see you put yourself through this.”
“Then don’t watch, but I’m going in that house and finding him, and then I’m going to kill that bitch.”
“I can’t be held responsible if I hit him. If he hurts you, I’ll break his face.”
“You can’t fight. You’re still recovering from surgery.”
“And you’re not in much better shape.” He laughs, and I shift my eyes from his shoulder to my hand, and I laugh too.
“We’re pathetic.”
“No. Killian is.”
Bile creeps back up my throat, and I shake my hands out from my sides trying to calm my nerves. Adrenaline pumps through me.
“Hunter, if he’s in there with her I don’t know what I’ll do. I’m not sure my heart can take it.”
“Liri?” I flash my gaze over at Liam. He’s strolling out of the house with some chick I have seen around but don’t know the name of.
“Liam, you owe me so just be straight with me. Is Killian in there with Jackie?”
“Aw hell, Liri.” He stares at his feet, and his date stares back and forth between us.
“Killian Hendrix?”
“Yeah.”
The nameless hoochie on Liam’s arm shrugs. “He was going upstairs with her about ten minutes ago.”
I fall to my knees, and the world starts to spin. My worst nightmare is coming true.
“Shit,” I hear Liam mutter and him and Hunter both struggle to pull me to my feet.
Fat tears well up in my eyes so thick they blind me, but my rage carries my feet forward. Liam and Hunter are both calling out my name and running after me, but I’m walking so fast I’m practically flying through the front door and up the stairs.
“Liri, stop.”
“Come on, Liri, just wait.”
“Don’t go up those stairs.”
My tears splatter onto my shoes like raindrops. They might as well be blood; my heart is being ripped out of my chest. Killian is up here with the person I hate most in the world. How could he do this to me? To us?
I don’t bother knocking, I start flinging doors open.
“Hey!” Some dude shouts and pulls covers up on his naked ass.
“Liri, stop,” Liam catches up to me first.
I have my hand on a knob about to twist it. My heart is in a blender. “Why? I bet you get off on this shit. You get to see him get his. Wouldn’t you want to know if the person you love is with the person you hate? No matter the cost. No matter the pain.” My chest heaves as another sob rips through me.
“You think I want to see you get hurt? I don’t want this for you. I wouldn’t even wish it on him.”
Chills fan up and down my arms and bile creeps up my throat. “I don’t know, Liam. I don’t know anything anymore.”
“Don’t do it. Let me find him and tell him you’re here.”
“He’s with her. I can’t…I need to…I have to, Liam. I have to see it to believe it. To get closure.” I can still feel Killian’s bruises on my thighs. His teeth on my neck but he’s not mine anymore. Our fire will never burn again if he’s with her.
I open the door and my heart drops to my feet. Killian is sitting on the edge of the bed and Jackie is on her knees between his legs going down on him. I don’t feel in control of my body. I push into the room as Liam tries to drag me back, but he can’t get a grip on me. I’m too fast. Too angry. Too wild. I feel crazy with rage. Ready to kill. Killian’s eyes meet mine—cold…emotionless. I grab Jackie by a fistful of her hair and jerk her head back as Liam’s arms go around my waist.
“Ow,” she howls, and I pull harder hoping to rip it out.
“You fucking cunt!” I punch her right between the eyes when she peers up to see who has her. I can’t breathe. I feel like it’s the end of days, and the world is crumbling all around me. I glower at Killian and he smirks at me. He’s getting pleasure from my pain. A sob tears through me, and I’m just done. I push Jackie sideways and she catches herself on the nightstand.
“You’re a real bastard,” Hunter spits from the doorway
Liam wraps his arms tighter around me when Killian laughs.
“You’ve just made the biggest mistake of your life, Killian,” I whisper as Jackie sneers at me.
“He wants me not you, bitch.”
“Good. You can have him. I don’t want him anymore.” I glance back at him one last time, and I feel so numb. The man I loved wouldn’t have taken things this far. Liam gives me an expression full of such pity as he lets me go. “There. Now you’re both miserable assholes,” I tell him, and I stomp out the door past Hunter and push my way through the crowd forming in the hallway. I see Woodrow and Hayley staring at me as I jog down the stairs gawking at me with that same pity Liam did. Ben and Cassidy are here too. Good. They can all know what a piece of shit Killian is. I leave out the front door and don’t turn back. There’s nothing for me in that house but poison.
“Liri,” Killian calls my name, but I can’t turn around. Not this time.
“Stay away from her,” I hear Hunter yell at him.
“Back the fuck up before I put your other arm in a sling, man.”
I keep walking, but I hear his footsteps on the sidewalk behind me, and the smell of his cologne wraps around me at the same time he grabs me from behind. “No!” I scream. “No, Killian. Not this time. You can’t apologize or fuck your way out of this.” My tears start, and I feel like I can’t catch my breath. “Don’t you fucking touch me ever again.” The world spins so fast, and I feel like I’m nothing but a toy to him. A pretty little doll he plays with when he’s bored. But not anymore. This stops now.
We’re over.
There is no longer an us.
If I could snap my fingers and disappear I would.
His hands drop. “You lied to me,” he says, and I spin around.
“I never fucking cheated on you, Killian. You were just with someone else. And not just anyone but the one person I hate more than anything. I hate you. I hate her. I hope your dick fucking rots off. I’m not a cheater. I didn’t cheat but you did. I can’t forgive that.”
“Yes, you did, Liri. You fucked around with Hunter while I was in the hospital. Jackie told me all about it. And he admitted it to me on the phone earlier.”
“Jackie.” I laugh like a crazy person. Right now I feel insane. “And you believed her so easily.” Hunter appears guilty behind Killian. “Did you tell Killian I cheated?” His gaze darts to the ground. “Perfect. I thought you were my friend.”
The Conclusion of Killian & Liri (Cruel Love Book 2) Page 7