by T L Swan
I roll my eyes as I turn the television up louder so I can’t hear them.
They wrestle up the stairs, and moments later I hear the shower turn on and peace is finally restored.
I have a cup of tea and finally, when I think the book reading is over, I head upstairs to say goodnight. Owen’s door is closed and I stand outside, leaning against it as I listen to the two of them talk.
“I’m going to try and jump tomorrow,” Owen says.
I frown as I listen.
“Yeah, you can do it. I told you that,” Cameron replies. It sounds like Cameron is walking around tidying up as he talks.
I smirk. What the hell are they talking about?
“Hey, Dad, play our song,” Owen says.
“What… now?”
“Please?” Owen begs.
“Okay, just one last time.”
I narrow my eyes as I listen to them and then I hear a song play on Cameron’s phone. I’ve heard it before on the radio. It’s Justin Beiber singing a song in Spanish with another man.
Cameron’s voice rings out as he starts to sing to the words in Spanish, then Owen joins in and their combined voices ring out happily.
Despacito.
I lean my head up against the wall in the semi-lit hallway as I listen. How many times have they sung this song together?
I smile softly in the darkness as their husky voices ring out.
They know the words and it’s in Spanish.
This is it. Everything that I dreamed of Owen having is right here.
Cameron loves him. With all of his heart he loves him.
Even after everything I have been through, it’s insignificant and means nothing because my son is finally happy.
Really, really happy.
As I listen to them sing together with tears in my eyes, I’m grateful for the relationship that they have.
This is how it was always meant to be.
26
Ashley
The phone rings. It’s a Friday night, and Cameron was supposed to be here ten minutes ago to pick Owen up for the weekend.
He called in sick today and he had surgery scheduled that had to be cancelled. So he’s either really sick or something else is going on. I wanted to call him, but I stopped myself. It’s none of my business.
I glance at the screen and the name Cameron lights it up. I frown as I answer.
“Hello.”
“Hi, Ash,” his groggy voice whispers.
“What’s wrong?” I immediately ask.
“Nothing.” He pauses. “I’m just not well.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He hesitates. “I can’t come and get Owen, though. Please apologize to him for me.”
I frown, this is weird. He’s never missed a visit.
“What’s wrong with you?” I ask.
“I’m guessing a virus. I’ll be fine.”
“You sound really sick.”
“Sorry, I know you had plans for tonight,” he says.
For the first time in a long time, Jenna and I were going to dinner and a late movie tonight. Damn it. “That’s okay.” I sigh. “Do you need anything?”
“No, I’m good.” He pauses as if wanting to say something and I wait on the line.
Is he ok?
“I’ll… I’ll call you later,” he murmurs and then he hangs up.
I stare at the phone in my hand for a moment. That was weird.
“We can’t go tonight, Jen. Cam is sick,” I announce as I walk into the kitchen.
“Fuck it,” she whispers under her breath.
“Go and have hot sex. That’s what I’d be doing if I was you,” I mutter dryly as I open the fridge. I now have to find something to cook. Bloody hell. I really needed a nice night out with lots of wine.
“Ugh, that sucks.”
“We can go next week.” I sigh.
“Yeah, okay.” She smirks as she watches me study the contents of the fridge. “What are you going to have for dinner?”
I frown as I continue to look inside the depressing fridge. “I might take Owen out for pizza actually.” I shrug. “I’m not in the mood to cook.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” she asks.
“Nah, that’s okay.” I smile and kiss her on the cheek. “Go do your thing. We’ll make our own fun.”
* * *
An hour and a half and a huge stomach full of pizza later, I find myself pulling up in Cameron’s driveway with Owen in the car.
I can’t stop thinking that something is wrong. His call was off and has left me feeling uneasy.
Part of my job as Owen’s mother is to make sure his father is safe, I justify to myself.
There is nothing weird about me checking on him. I’m just being a responsible mother.
“What are we doing?” Owen calls from the back seat.
“Umm, I just want to check on Dad. He’s sick and I want to make sure he’s alright.”
He smiles, unbuckles his seatbelt, and is out of the car before I even turn off the engine. The guard opens the gates on sight and I walk through and up to the front door. Owen has already gone in. The door must have been unlocked.
“Dad,” Owen calls as he runs into the kitchen and I take the stairs two at a time.
Something is definitely off here.
I find him in bed, shaking, covered in a layer of sweat.
“What the hell, Cam?” I whisper as I go to him.
He closes his eyes. “What are you doing here?” he croaks.
I put my hand on his forehead and he is burning up with a raging temperature. “Checking on you. Why didn’t you call me?” I snap.
“I’m fine.” He shivers.
“You are not fine. We need to get this temp down. Get up.”
“I’m fine.” He snaps.
I disappear into his bathroom and turn the shower onto a cool tepid stream. I walk back into his room as Owen bounces through the door. “Dad.” He smiles excitedly.
Cameron frowns in horror that his son is seeing him like this.
“Dad’s sick, baby. He needs to cool down,” I tell him.
Owen’s face falls as he watches his father shiver in bed.
“Come on, help me get him up.” I grab Cameron’s arm and pull him. “Cam. You need to have a shower and we need to get this temp down,” I urge. “Have you had any medication?” I ask.
He shakes his head.
“I thought you were a doctor.” I frown with a shake of my head. “Where is your medicine cabinet?”
“In the cupboard, downstairs.” He sighs.
I turn to Owen. “Where does Dad keep the band aids?” I ask.
“In the kitchen.”
“Can you show me?”
Owen scoots downstairs and I follow him and retrieve the Tylenol as well as a glass of water.
I return upstairs and force feed them to Cameron, and then get him up and lead him to the bathroom. Shit, I think I’m going to have to take him to emergency. He’s so sick. What kind of virus is this?
“Owie, go and put some cartoons on. We’ll stay here for a while.”
“Yay!” Owen calls as he disappears downstairs and I hear the television turn on in the distance.
I put my hand under the shower and I turn to Cameron and grab his face as I look into his eyes. He’s near delirious. “Cameron, are you alright?” I ask.
He nods.
“Get in the shower.”
He puts his hand out to the shower screen to steady himself on his feet.
Shit, is he going to faint?
“Cameron,” I repeat. “Are you going to fall?”
He drops his head as he tries to stay upright and holds the wall for support.
“In the shower,” I snap. Damn it. I bend and slide his boxer shorts down his legs and lead him into the shower until he’s under the cool water. He stands as he holds the tiles.
“Just stay under there for a while,” I tell him as I fuss around grabbing towels. I would tell him to sit down,
but I don’t think I will be able to get him back up.
I take a seat on the edge of the bath as I watch him standing beneath the water.
He’s naked, and for the first time since I’ve known him, completely vulnerable. For twenty minutes, I sit quietly as he stands under the water. I change the sheets on his bed, and eventually, I walk over to the shower and feel his forehead again.
“How do you feel?” I ask as I check his face temp with the backs of my fingers.
“I’m okay,” he answers quietly.
“How long have you been like this?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “I woke up last night, throwing up. That’s stopped, but the temperature has gotten higher.”
“Cam.” I shake my head. “You know this is dangerous. Why didn’t you call me?”
He closes his eyes, as though embarrassed. “I’m fine.”
“You are not fine. If I can’t get this temperature down, I’m taking you to hospital.”
He nods as he concedes defeat.
“Come on, back to bed.” I hold a towel out for him and he exits the shower. I wrap him in it and he drops his head to my shoulder in desperate need of comfort.
I close my eyes as I hold him and the sick feeling of protectiveness fills me.
Stop it.
I pull out of his arms and dry him, lead him back to bed, and lie him down. His eyes immediately close.
Gosh, he’s so sick.
I pull the sheet over him and sit on the edge of the bed to watch him for a while. I feel his forehead and his temperature seems to be dropping.
He has a virus, by the looks of it, but he needs some water. He’s dehydrated.
Over the next three hours, I sit with him and give him water every ten minutes as he dozes in and out of a sleepy consciousness.
Who knows what would have happened if I hadn’t checked on him when I did? After I’m positive he’s better and hydrated, I eventually head downstairs. I find Owen on the couch in his underpants, laughing out loud at cartoons and eating ice cream straight from the tub.
I smile to myself, is this what they do in this bachelor pad?
Owen’s eyes rise to me. “Is Dad feeling better?” he asks.
“Yes, he’s sleeping.” I smile and sit down next to him, placing my arm around his shoulders. “We might stay here tonight, though, I think… just to make sure.”
He smiles and punches the air. “Yes!”
Cameron
I hear Ashley’s voice drift from the kitchen. “Owen. Do you want a hot chocolate? I’m making tea.”
I can hear Owen’s little voice from downstairs, too, although I have no idea what he’s saying.
The setting sun is just peeking through the side of the blinds, and I lean over to pick up my phone.
Sunday. 5:00 .p.m.
Fuck.
Where did the weekend go?
Ashley and Owen have stayed by my side, never leaving me for a minute. Ash has looked after me and I have no doubt I would have been hospitalized for dehydration if she hadn’t shown up when she did.
I inhale as I stare at the ceiling above. God, she’s seen me at my worst now.
Naked, soft, and shivering while covered in sweat.
I hear Owen’s laugh ring out and I smile as I listen. Ashley is chasing him and they are screaming and laughing through the house.
What a fucking awesome sound.
I get up slowly, go to the bathroom to shower, and then I head downstairs to find them sitting on the floor with their backs up against the sofa drinking hot chocolate and tea, engrossed in an animal documentary.
“Hey.” I smile bashfully.
“Well, here he is!” Ashley smiles as she looks over at me. “You survived?”
My eyes hold hers and my heart skips a beat. That’s the first genuine smile she has given me in over two months.
“Dad,” Owen calls and jumps up to cuddle my leg.
“Hey, mate.” I rub my hand roughly through his hair. “Sorry to wreck your weekend.”
He smiles and takes a seat back on the floor next to his mom.
My eyes hold hers. “Thanks, Ash.” I pause. “You don’t know how much I appreciate you staying.”
She smiles and sips her tea. “That’s okay. I’m sending you to the pharmacy next month to buy my Tampax as pay back.”
I smirk.
“What’s Tampax?” Owen asks as his eyes roam between us.
I raise my eyebrows. “Weird girl things,” I reply dryly as I lie on the sofa behind the two of them. “What are we watching?” I ask.
“Meerkats,” Owen replies. “But this girl’s been a naughty one and the mother is getting angry. It’s a big family fight,” he explains as he points to one of the meerkats who is circling another.
I smirk as I watch the screen. I don’t care what we are watching, or whose family is attacking each other.
As long as it’s not mine.
* * *
The reflection of the fire lanterns flickers across the pool. The sun has set and the cocktail waiters are circling. I’m at Carson’s house at a party.
I’m here with my friends and Joshua, although he’s leaving around nine to go and have drinks with Tash and Murph who are out at dinner.
He doesn’t stay long at these parties anymore. He hasn’t since he settled down with Tash.
It’s funny, you know. I could never understand why he would rush home to be with her when he sees her everyday—why he couldn’t stand to be away from her for more than a few hours at a time. It only got worse when he had kids, and for a long time, he went nowhere without them.
I get it now.
Since Owen came into my life—and Ashley—these parties hold no interest for me anymore.
Beautiful women are approaching me every ten minutes, and all I can do is keep looking at my watch to make sure I don’t miss ringing my son to say goodnight at eight o’clock.
What the hell has happened to me?
“Hey, Cam,” a voice calls from behind me, and I turn to see Celeste in a tight, smoking hot gold dress. She’s smiling sexily up at me.
“Hi.” I smile and bend to kiss her cheek as a greeting.
“Hi, Stan.” She smiles at Joshua.
He nods and smiles politely. “Hello.”
“Do you want to come inside for a drink? It’s been months since we spent any time together,” she asks hopefully.
I smirk, knowing that was code for it’s been months since we fucked.
I narrow my eyes as I contemplate the offer. “Ah, yeah. Maybe later. I’m staying out here for a while.”
She smiles. “Come looking for me when you’re ready to catch up.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You know I will.”
She walks off and Stan’s eyes and mine follow her as she glides through the crowd.
“She’s fucking hot,” he murmurs.
I exhale. “Yeah, she’s okay,” I reply, bored as my eyes glance around at the crowd.
He narrows his eyes as he watches me. “What’s up with you lately?”
“What do you mean?” I frown.
He sips his beer. “Well...” He purses his lips as he thinks. “I haven’t seen you hook up with a girl in months.”
I shrug as I take a drink. “That’s because I haven’t.”
He frowns. “Since when?”
“Since Ashley.”
He widens his eyes, shocked. “You haven’t had sex with anyone since Ashley?”
“Nope,” I reply with a shake of my head.
“Why not?”
I shrug. “Nobody’s doing it for me.”
“Is that a record for you?”
I nod. “Yep. Biggest dry spell since I started having sex.”
His eyes hold mine. “What’s going on with you and Ashley, anyway?”
I run my fingers through my two-day growth. “I don’t know. I think she tolerates me.”
“Does that bother you?”
“Fucking truth it does.”
“I thought you were getting along?”
I shrug. “She’s being nice to me for Owen’s sake. Although, last weekend was a little different.”
“What happened last weekend?”
“I was sick and she came to my house and looked after me for the weekend.”
He listens as he watches me.
“I think I’ve officially been friend-zoned for the first time in my life.” I widen my eyes as I sip my beer.
He chuckles and shakes his head. “You didn’t make her clean up your vomit, did you?”
I laugh. “Practically.” I shake my head. “Fuck. It was mortifying.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“There’s nothing I can do.”
He thinks for a moment. “Look, I don’t know how it is with you, and you know mine and Tash’s story, I loved her from afar for years… But nobody could fill the void that she left.”
I blow out a sad breath. “That’s what I’m afraid of. What if I never feel the way she makes me feel with anyone else? What if I was supposed to be with Ashley for real and I fucked it all up?”
He watches me for a moment, silent.
“She doesn’t trust me.” I pause and shrug. “And why would she?”
“But you didn’t know her then. You were trying to do what was best for your son.”
“We know that, but she doesn’t.”
He frowns as he thinks.
“And the worse thing is, what if I push for her to forgive me and she can’t?” I ask.
“What do you mean?”
“What if I just end up pushing her further away?” I shrug. “At the moment, I would rather be in a room with Ashley while she ignores me than be in a bed with three of the hottest chicks in this party. Another woman is not even an option. I can’t think of anything worse.”
He purses his lips and stares at me.
I shake my head in disgust. “I seriously messed up so bad and I have no idea how to fix it.” I sigh. “If I make a move, I’m fucked. If I don’t make a move, I’m fucked.”
“Have you tried to talk to her?” He frowns.
“Yep. She shuts me down every time, and it’s only since I stopped trying that she has even given me the time of day.”
“Fuck.” He exhales deeply. “I don’t know, man.”
I sip my beer. “Maybe I just need to screw her out of my system. Be happy with co-parenting with her while banging everyone else?”