by Fariah Zaidi
I fought to get up and somehow managed to stumble across the room and towards the balcony door. Pushing it open, I stepped out into the cold, winter night.
The whole estate was covered in snow and there was utter silence all through the dark, except for the occasional howl of a dog far away somewhere.
The New York winter air hit me like a ton of bricks and I welcomed the harsh cold. I didn’t want to feel. I wanted to be numb to all the pain, heartache, memories, everything. My fingers curled tightly around the railing and I cried more, my sobs the only thing heard in the silence of the night.
My body slid down on the snow covered floor, and I closed my eyes, desperately wishing for it all to stop.
Chapter 11: Broken
Zara
“Thank you so much for today.” I smiled at my father through the rear view mirror of the car.
“Anything for you, sweetheart.” he smiled back.
My nineteenth birthday wasn’t something I had intended on celebrating. But my father, who had an overenthusiastic zest for celebrating life, took me and my mother out. It consisted of a trip to the winter carnival on the outskirts of the city- going on all the rides and binging on greasy pizzas and cheeseburgers.
However, the moment we pulled into our drive, the blissful aura of the car vanished.
“Honey?” Mom turned to Dad, “Did you forget to lock the front door?”
Concern etched across my father’s face, “No. I remember Zara locked it. And why are the living room lights on?”
We all exited the car and for some reason, a very heavy feeling settled in my stomach.
“Get behind me.” Dad ordered, “Zara, have 911 ready on your dialer.”
I did as he asked and followed him cautiously through the door. The small hallway was trashed, as if someone had angrily taken a baseball and smashed holes into the walls. As soon as we stepped into the living room, a loud, fearful gasp emanated from my lips.
Three masked men, wearing all black outfits, were present inside the room, one standing by the fireplace, one in the far corner and one seated comfortably on the couch.
Before we could even comprehend or question what was happening, the man sitting on the couch raised a gun.
Two shots.
That’s all it took.
With a groan of pain, both my parents fell to the floor with a sickening thud.
I was frozen in shock, standing there as their bodies fell beside my feet. I couldn’t believe this was happening. It took me a couple of moments before I sunk to my feet, reaching for my father.
“Da-dad?” I shook him, his blood coating my hands, “DAD?”
No response.
I wiped my face off the tears with the bloodied hands and turned to my mom, “Mom? Mom? Wake up!”
Again, no response.
“No, no, no, no!” I mumbled, my hands trembling, as I frantically turned to either of my parents, shaking their bodies, “Mom? Dad! Dad?”
All the blood around me made me want to retch. I was covered in my parents’ blood. My parents’ blood. An ear-piercing scream echoed inside the room, and I realized it was me. My stomach churned as I turned to the gun-wielding man standing in front of me.
“Why? Why did you do it?”
He moved forward, making me stumble back. His huge hand wrapped around my hair and pulled so hard that I screamed.
“Well, look at that. She’s a screamer.” he jeered, drawing laughs from his companions.
He reached out and trailed one finger from my forehead to my lips and then gripped my chin tightly, “You are so beautiful.” he whispered.
My skin crawled with disgust at his touch.
He was close. So close that I could make out his deep green eyes, resembling two large, round emeralds.
“So this is the bitch boss was telling us about?” he asked his friends, loosening his grip on my hair and turning to them.
Taking the chance, I tried to crawl away, just enough to reach my phone and press the call button. These men could do anything to me and no one would know.
Just as I reached back, the man’s arm shot out and grabbed mine. He shook his head in mock pity, “Oh, kitten, you really think it’s that easy?”
“Why are you doing this?” I whispered, my voice hoarse from crying.
He ignored my question. Instead, he was more focused on my body. Fear crawled up my spine when his eyes travelled all the way from top to bottom, straying longer on my chest and legs.
“Boss, let’s kill this puttana and leave.” one of his friends interjected from behind.
“She is a beauty though.” the green-eyed man said, his eyes darkened with lust, “It would be a waste to kill her without enjoying her first.”
No, no, no, no, no. Please no. I was helpless and defenseless. No one would come to my aid.
“Please.” I pleaded him, sobbing uncontrollably at the monstrous smile he had on his face, “Please don’t do this.”
He didn’t listen. Instead he yanked men up by my hair, releasing another fearful scream from me.
I cried, I begged, I pleaded.
He dragged me by my hair over to the couch and pushed me onto it. In seconds my clothes were ripped off of me.
I just couldn’t believe this was happening. I cried more. I struggled more.
Until he thought he had had enough.
I didn’t even see the slap coming until it had landed so painfully on my cheek that my head twisted to my right. The sound resonated throughout the room. My cheek burned horribly making me want to claw it off so the pain would just go away.
But that was nothing compared to what came next.
In seconds he had ripped of the remaining clothes barely covering my body. Naked and trembling with fear, I wanted to hurl when I heard the sound of a zipper being pulled down.
I tried to cover myself with my bloodied arms. But he wrenched them apart as he forcefully started kissing down my neck. And then my chest.
There was no one to save me.
I cried more. I begged again.
Pain ripped through my body when I felt him entering me.
“So fucking tight.” he rasped, “God, I love virgins.”
His second thrust came, along with blinding pain.
I screamed and I screamed. Until I couldn’t anymore.
Each time he entered my body, a part of me broke. And on every broken part, the monster fed, ravenous, wild and deranged.
My face dropped to my right again. My eyes landed on my parents’ bodies- their hollow, lifeless eyes widened and haunting.
I could feel my body shutting down, my senses becoming numb.
This monster had taken everything.
My dignity.
My peace.
He cracked my heart into a million pieces.
Agony. That is all there was.
He had taken his pleasure, and he had also taken my innocence.
●●●
My body was freezing from the winter air.
It had started snowing, hard. I welcomed the harsh numbness it brought, as it spread through my body, the snow settling around me, over me. I was rocking back and forth, waiting for the pain to pass.
I vaguely heard the bedroom door opening, followed by someone stepping into the balcony.
“Zara.”
Stefan’s voice was laced with concern as he bent down in front of me. I didn’t have the heart to look up at him, because if I did, I would fall apart all over again.
“Zara, look at me.” there was an urgency in his voice.
I finally raised my head from my pain induced thoughts and looked at him, ready to see him pity at my pathetic self. But when my eyes came in contact with his grey ones, I found them full of warmth.
He held out his hand, and spoke softly to me, “It is freezing out here. Let’s get you inside.”
I looked at him, surprised at his softness, and then gingerly raised my hand and placed it in his. His fingers encircled mine, providing the most comforting warmth.
> He helped me get up and guided me towards the door. I heard him say something about getting into bed, but my focus was wavering and my vision was turning blurry.
I stumbled, and waited for my face to hit the floor, but it didn’t. In an instant Stefan had wrapped his hand around my waist and pulled my back.
“Careful.” he muttered.
I finally lied down on my bed, and I felt him pulling the comforter over to my shoulder and tucking me in. When he turned, I knew he was going to leave, but for some reason, I didn’t want him to.
My hand shot out to grab his wrist.
“Stefan.” I whispered brokenly.
As if he understood my unsaid words, he sat down on the bed next to me, pulling his wrist out of my hand only to interlace our fingers. It was a small action but if felt so right.
“What if I can’t do it, Stefan?” I asked, “What if I am unable to handle everything that comes with this life?”
He was silent for a moment, his fingers absently brushing across my knuckles. I wondered if he would leave me hanging or provide me with an answer.
It looked like he decided to go for the latter, for he took a deep breath and began to speak, “You, Zara, are one of the strongest women I know. After what you have been through, it takes a lot of courage to pull one’s life back together. And that is something that I greatly admire.”
I couldn’t believe that it was Stefan saying these words to me.
“You are both compassionate and fierce, and these will always be your strength. You just have to believe in yourself, Zara.”
Chapter 12: Hug
Zara
The next time my eyes opened, I heard someone knocking relentlessly on the door. I yawned loudly and stretched, begrudgingly throwing the comforter off of myself and making my way to the door.
I opened it to see one of the maids, Catalina, holding a tray with a polite smile on her face. I blinked twice to rid myself off the sleep and ran a hand through my hair.
“Good morning, Miss.” she spoke softly, “Boss sent breakfast for you. He wants to meet you in his office in half an hour.”
“Okay, yeah, thanks.” I shook my head and answered her, my brain still a little fuzzy. I took the tray from her hands and closed the door after her.
My eyes went to the clock hanging above the TV and widened when I saw it striking eleven thirty. Did I just sleep for almost twelve hours?
I made my way to the bathroom to take a quick shower, brush my teeth and slip into some fresh clothes.
Slowly and steadily, the events of last night came back to me. From finally being able to put a face to my tormentor, to crying in front of Stefan, I remembered everything. I closed my eyes, my mind drifting to the moment he held my hand, and the feeling of his fingers brushing through the strands of my hair right before I was about to fall asleep.
And I just couldn’t deny how good that felt.
My eyes again went to the clock to see I had barely six minutes left to finish my breakfast and get my ass to Stefan’s office. So I sat down on the bed and lifted the lid from the tray. The aroma of pancakes filled my nostrils and at once I set to destroy the pile, but not before lathering it with chocolate syrup.
When I was done, I placed the tray back on the nightstand, tied my hair into a messy bun and left the room, walking down the hallway to Stefan’s office.
I knocked twice on the door before walking in, only to see him standing by the window, hands folded to his chest. His Family ring glistened in the light, and I subconsciously reached for the one on my finger.
As usual, I did a quick survey of him while I had the chance. Today he was dressed in a grey suit that hugged his tall physique and defined his broad shoulders. His hair however, looked slightly disheveled, as if he’d run his hands through it multiple times.
“Good morning.” I greeted softly, going to stand beside him.
I followed his line of sight to the view that stood before us out the window. It had snowed hard last night, judging by the way a thick white blanket covered the entire estate. The grey clouds still hung in the sky, not allowing the sun to peek through.
“Buongiorno.” his deep voice came from beside me.
“Why did you want to see me?” I asked after a moment of silence.
He takes a deep breath, before turning to me, “I need to talk to you about the man whose picture you saw last night.”
Bracing myself, I nodded at him to go on.
“As I told you last night, his name is Valentin Romano. He was Diego’s Underboss for ten years, and took over the family after his death.” Stefan recalls.
He shifts from his position, shoving his hand in his pockets.
“It is now being speculated that Valentin is planning something, something big. My sources found out that not only has he been working secretly with one of the biggest drug manufacturers from Colombia, but he recently received three large shipments of weaponry.”
My eyebrows shot up in shock.
“We don’t know what it is, but we need to be prepared.”
I nodded gingerly, letting all the information sink in.
“Those Romanos have been a pain in my ass for a long time now. This time, I’m not letting them get away. I will send each of those fuckers right where they belong- to hell.”
His voice was venomous, laced with rage and anguish.
When I looked at him, I couldn’t help but curse life for being unfair. Maybe, just maybe, if fate hadn’t been so cruel, he could lead his life normally.
Reaching out, I placed my hand on his arm, “Mama Bella told me everything. I’m sorry about your mother, Stefan, and for everything you’ve been through.”
“You lost your mother too.” he replied gravely.
“Yes, but I was lucky enough to lead a normal life with my adoptive parents.” I said, instinctively moving closer to him, “But you have been reliving the same pain over and over again for so many years. It’s unfair, what happened to you, your mother and this family.”
He shook his head, a forced smile lifting his lips, “I think you’re a couple of decades late on those condolences.”
“Well, I’m here now, aren’t I?” I shrugged, trying to smile myself, “So if you could just put aside you mobster attitude for a few moments and act like a normal person, we can have a do over.”
“And how is that?” he asked, amusement coloring his tone.
“For starters, we can have a proper introduction,” I grinned, holding out my hand, “Hi, my name is Zara. No surname because I have like four of them and unable to choose which one I want. It’s nice to meet you.”
Stefan lets out a breath of laughter, taking a moment to place his hand in mine, “Stefan Esposito. It’s nice to meet you too, Zara. And let me say, this conversation makes me feel like a kid starting middle school, desperate to be friends with a girl he likes.”