I Remember You

by Sammi Starlight

  “You were pretty lost in that song. What was it? I don’t think I recognize it.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him. Those plump lips of hers looked so inviting. He leaned down and kissed her softly. Her arms snaked up around his neck, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, while she pressed her soft body into his. He felt himself get instantly hard as he held her against him.

  His kiss started out tender, his tongue gently teasing hers. It grew more insistent as he thought about the possibility of losing her. He moved his hands down along her back, sliding them down to cup her firm ass and pressing her hard against him.

  She finally broke away panting, her eyes glassy with lust as she looked up at him. “Whoa...What a greeting,” she whispered.

  He was breathless as he looked back down at her. Suddenly he was consumed with how much he loved her; how much he wanted and needed her. He put an arm around her waist, pulling her against him again and cupped her face with his other hand. “I want you, Samantha. I need you.” His mouth covered hers again, crushing her lips with his. He buried his hands in her hair, holding her still so he could kiss her.

  She pulled away and stumbled back a bit. “Lance, stop!” She moved away from him, her eyes wide. “Please slow down.”

  His heart dropped. Did he scare her? He took a deep breath to calm himself.

  “What’s wrong with you tonight?” She asked him, her eyes filling with tears. “And you were weird on the phone last night. What’s up, Lance? What’s wrong?”

  He sighed and walked over to her. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to scare you.” He took her hand and led her over to the couch to sit down. “Samantha, we need to talk. There’s something I have to tell you.”

  He ran his thumb over the back of her hand as he worked up the courage to tell her about Nicole’s pregnancy. He blew out his breath and decided to just say it. “Remember that time we were apart for a few months?”

  She rolled her eyes and smiled wryly. “Which time?

  He couldn’t help but smile a little. “Yeah. Well, anyway, the time when I dated someone else for a bit.”

  “Nicole?” She said guardedly. He could see her body visibly get stiff next to him on the couch.

  He nodded and she pulled her hand from his, sitting back on the couch. “What about her? You told me that was over and you never wanted to see her again.” She folded her arms over her chest, her eyes narrowing at him.

  Lance nodded. “I did. And I hadn’t seen her since the day I told her that.” He chewed his lower lip. “Until yesterday. She was here when I got back from your house.”

  “Why?” She had uncrossed her arms, her hands balled into fists at her sides.

  “She said she had to tell me something.” He stood up and began walking around the basement. “You know I had sex with her while we dated?” He asked but he couldn’t even pause to look at her. He didn’t want to see her reaction. “And she told me she was on the pill-”

  “She’s pregnant, isn’t she?” She muttered, choking back a sob.

  Lance stopped walking and looked down at her. “That’s what she claims,” he said softly.

  “What the fuck, Lance?” Samantha flew up off of the couch. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” A sob escaped her lips. “Things have finally been good between us.” A tear slid down her cheek. “I was even going to have sex with you tonight,” she whispered.

  Lance’s shoulders dropped. He’d messed this up big time. He went over to Samantha and wrapped his arms around her waist. “This doesn’t change anything. I still love you, Samantha.”

  She rested her head on his chest for a minute, sniffling. All of a sudden she pulled her arms up and pushed him away hard. “But this changes everything. You’re going to be a father.” She shook her head. “I can’t deal with this right now.” She grabbed her purse from the floor and walked to the stairs. She turned and looked at him, her eyes cold and distant. “Don’t follow me Lance or I’ll never speak to you again!” She ran up the stairs and he thought he heard a sob come from her before she slammed the door behind her.

  Lance slumped back down on the couch defeated, his eyes filling with tears. He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. What if Samantha never talked to him again?

  ***

  Samantha drove home in a blinding rage. She couldn’t believe it! That asshole. She knew he’d slept with Nicole when they had been apart, but now she was pregnant? Samantha wasn’t so sure she could handle that.

  She got home and went straight to bed, telling her mom she was tired and had a headache. She told her if anyone called, even Lance, tell them she’d call them back tomorrow.

  She put on her pajamas and climbed under her covers. She finally let the tears flow she’d been holding back since Lance told her the news. She sobbed into her pillow so her mom wouldn’t hear her as she thought about what Lance had told her earlier. Only when she fell asleep, exhausted from her tears, did she finally escape the pain she felt.

  Samantha spent the next few days almost like a zombie. She told Renee and her other friends that she and Lance had broken up. She didn’t give them a reason. She couldn’t bring herself to say out loud he’d gotten another girl pregnant.

  Lance had tried to call her a few times but she always refused to talk to him. Her mom finally told him to quit calling and bothering her. She wasn’t ready to talk to him. She wasn’t sure if she ever would be.

  Renee had convinced her to go to the basketball game Friday night so she could get out of the house. Samantha reluctantly agreed; maybe it would help her stop thinking about Lance. She ended up having a good time at the game. Their school was undefeated and played another school with a winning record. The game was exciting, but Samantha was exhausted from sleepless nights all week and decided to head home after instead of going out for pizza with the rest of her friends.

  She parked her car in the driveway, feeling better than she had in days. She got out of the car and walked towards the door when she heard his deep voice behind her.

  “Hello Samantha.”

  She jumped and almost screamed in surprise. She turned around and there stood Lance in the middle of her driveway.

  “What are you doing here, Lance?” She asked as she clutched her purse tightly in her hands.

  “I knew you wouldn’t take my calls and this would be the only way you’d talk to me.” He took a step towards her. “I miss you, Samantha,” he whispered, reaching for her.

  She shook her head, biting her lip. “Don’t, Lance.” She wanted to throw herself into his arms and forget this whole mess, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t let him sweet-talk her into not being angry anymore.

  “I do, Sam. I miss you. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t even play guitar,” he said as his voice broke. He walked closer to her and she could see by the dark circles under his eyes he probably hadn’t been sleeping much either. He might as well get used to it with a baby on the way. She shook her head at the thought.

  “Samantha, can’t you give us a chance? What if the baby isn’t mine? I’ve heard from a few guys I wasn’t the only one she’d been with during that time.” She could hear the desperation in his voice, but it didn’t do much to soothe her.

  Samantha sighed and shook her head. “Lance, I can’t do this. I can’t sit and wait.” Her voice started to break despite her resolve. “I love you. I do. So much it hurts. But I’m 17 years old. I should be going out with my friends and worrying about college next and having fun. I don’t need a family already. And you’ll have your hands full. You won’t have time for us.” She didn’t have the heart to tell him she also couldn’t deal with Nicole in their lives forever either.

  His eyes filled with tears. “But I love you. You’re my whole world. You’re my everything. Without you, nothing matters.”

  Samantha choked back a sob. “I know, Lance. I’m so sorry.”

  He enveloped her in his arms and this time she let him. She needed to one last t
ime. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, committing the feel of his arms and his smell to memory. She never wanted to forget the way this felt.

  She finally pulled away and looked up at him. Tears were streaming down his face and for a split second she almost threw herself back into his arms. She reached up with a trembling hand and wiped his cheek. He grabbed her hand in his and held it against his face.

  “I have to go inside, Lance,” she said softly, pulling her hand back. “Please don’t call me again or show up here. Goodbye.” She turned and headed for the door, walking quickly so she had no chance to change her mind.

  Thankfully her mom was in bed when she got inside. She shut the door firmly behind her and leaned against it, listening to the rumble of Lance’s car drive away. A sob ripped from her throat as she slid down the door to the floor and buried her face in her hands. She’d just said goodbye to her heart and soul forever.

  Chapter Three

  Present Day

  Samantha pulled up to the pump at the gas station and got out. As she watched the numbers on the pump, her mind started to wander. She sighed and crossed her arms as she thought about a few weeks ago when she’d broke up with Jeff, the guy she’d been seeing for about a year. What’s wrong with me? Jeff was a good guy. He was good looking and a successful lawyer. He treated her like a queen. Most girls would kill to date a guy like him. She didn’t feel anything with him - no passion or excitement.

  The pump clicked as it stopped and Samantha put the gas cover back on. She’d forgotten her bottle of water for yoga class, so she ran inside the gas station to get one. She didn’t want to be late for class and not get a decent spot, so she trotted inside and grabbed the first bottle she saw from the cooler. She took it to the counter and paid. As she turned to leave, she ran right into someone else approaching the counter and dropped her water on the floor.

  “I’m sorry!” She bent down to get her water as the person she ran into did too.

  “Hello Samantha.” A deep voice filled her ears as the stranger handed her the water. Her heart started pounding. Could it be? She looked up quickly. It was Lance!

  “Hey Lance. What’re you doing here?” She asked nervously. She was surprised to see her old boyfriend at this gas station, let alone in town. He was a successful rock star now and she knew he lived in LA. She tried to casually look him over. He’d filled out some since they’d been together. His shaggy blonde hair was cut shorter now and he looked older, more mature. She had to admit he looked good. Time had been very kind to him.

  “I had some business to take care of here for Mom,” he replied.

  She smiled. Always such a mama’s boy. “How is she?” Samantha had always liked his mom. She’d always told Lance to treat her better and that the two of them were going to get married some day. Boy did she get that wrong!

  “She’s good. How are you?” He looked down at her with those piercing gray eyes. For a second she wanted to wrap her arms around him like old times. She’d never forgotten what his hugs had been like.

  “I’m good. Busy writing. My first novel comes out in about a month.” She looked down at her shoes nervously, shaking the thought of his arms around her from her mind.

  “That’s great, Sam,” he said with a smile. “I know how much you always loved to write. Congrats.”

  She wasn’t sure why his words of approval made her feel so good. She glanced at her phone. She was going to be late for class if she didn’t leave soon. “I actually was headed to yoga class so I should probably get going.” She looked back up at him. “It was good seeing you,” she said softly.

  He smiled at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling in the way she’d always loved. “It was really good seeing you too. Take care.”

  She clutched her phone and water and headed out of the gas station, her heart pounding hard in her ears. Samantha took a shaky breath as she got into her car. Trying to get her bearings, she sat for a minute before starting it. She couldn’t believe she saw Lance after all of these years. She didn’t think she’d ever see him again here in town.

  Samantha started her car and headed off to class. She was looking forward to yoga. Maybe it would clear the mess in her brain that seeing Lance had created.

  ***

  Lance was a little shocked he’d run into Samantha. He hadn’t been back to his hometown in at least five years and the one time he was here, he ran into her. Unbelievable!

  Lance always hated coming back to his hometown. Once he’d moved his mom to LA to live by him, there was not much left for him here. His mom had some family business to deal with and since his band had a show nearby, he thought he’d come with her to give her a hand. He was only going to be here for two days and that felt like two days too long.

  After she left, he went to the back of the gas station to grab a soda. His heart ached when he thought about Samantha. She was the reason he hated coming back. Being back reminded him of her. They hadn’t dated in over ten years, but he’d never gotten her totally out of his mind or his heart.

  He went back up to the counter to pay, still thinking about her. She’d looked so good even dressed in a t-shirt and yoga pants. She still managed to take his breath away. All he had thought about while they’d talked was wrapping her up in his arms. He never forgot how her petite frame always fit so perfectly against him.

  He couldn’t help but notice she didn’t have a wedding ring on. She must be single or at least not engaged or married. He shook his head as he went back out to his car, trying to clear his mind. It’d be silly to think she’d even want anything to do with him after all this time. The last time they broke up, she’d made it very clear she was done with him and he didn’t fit into her life or her future.

  After the mess with Nicole, he couldn’t say he blamed her. It was the last straw in their volatile relationship. He went into a downward spiral after that night in her driveway. He fought like crazy with Nicole, not giving her the emotional support she’d wanted from him and demanding a paternity test as soon as they could have one. He’d turned to alcohol to dull the pain of losing Samantha. Even after finding out Nicole’s baby wasn’t his after all, he didn’t go after Samantha. She was better off without him, going off to a fancy college and having her whole life ahead of her with someone that deserved her.

  His best friend Jason kicked his ass and eventually set him straight. He quit drinking so much and the two of them started a band. They moved to New York and got discovered playing in a club one night, signing a record deal. He had finally realized his dream of becoming a rock star, but it seemed like something was still missing from his life.

  Lance got in the car and handed his mother her water. They drove back to the hotel making small talk. When they parked in the hotel parking lot, Lance’s mom put her hand on his arm before he could even open the door.

  “I saw her,” she said to him softly, searching his eyes for any sign of emotion.

  “Who?” Lance dismissed her. He didn’t want to talk about this with his mother of all people.

  “You know who. I know you saw her too,” she replied with a huff.

  Lance sighed. “Yeah, I ran into Samantha. We talked a little bit. Her first book is coming out soon.”

  “That’s great. I’ll have to look for it. How is she?”

  Lance got out of the car and came over to help his mother out. “She’s good, I guess.” He ran his hand through his hair. “We didn’t talk very long.”

  “Is she married? Kids?” She kept pumping him for information as they walked into the hotel.

  His mother never knew when to quit when it came to Samantha. Lance rolled his eyes. “Mom, I don’t know. She didn’t have a ring on but she said she was headed to yoga class, so maybe she just wasn’t wearing it.”

  His mom smiled at him smugly. “So you looked, huh?” Her gaze softened. “In all seriousness, you should call her and see her tonight. We don’t leave until morning and what else are you going to do? You can talk. Have you ever told her that N
icole wasn’t pregnant with your baby?”

  Lance shook his head and gave his mother a look of reproach. “No Mom, not a good idea. When we broke up all those years ago, she made it clear she was done with me and I realized she’s much better off without me anyway. Besides, I don’t have her number.”

  “I bet you could get it if you really tried. You know people.” She shrugged.

  “Mom,” he looked at her sternly. “Please.Drop.It. She has her life here and I have mine in LA. We’ve both moved on. It was a chance meeting. It meant nothing.”

  His mother put her hands on her hips as they arrived at their rooms. “Lance! Don’t even give me that crap! I know full well you think of her all the time. She’s the reason you can’t settle down with a girl for more than a few weeks. She’s the one you write all your songs about. I’m your mother! I know you, so don’t try to fool me and tell me otherwise. And I know you two belong together whether you like to hear it or not. There’s a reason you ran into her today. Fate has stepped in. Don’t ignore it!”