by Kat Mizera
I’d missed him so much.
I was battling a thousand different emotions right now, but his touch trumped everything else.
He was resigning from the Royal Protectors.
He was choosing me.
How was this even possible?
“I love you,” he continued. “I never thought anyone would get this close to me, make me want to change, to move beyond the darkness in my past, to be a husband and maybe even a father. But you did. Without you, nothing else I do means anything. Not my job, not my friends, not the money I make. Nothing. I love you as much as I need you, Solange. You’re the light that fills my dark-ass soul. Before you, I was slowly letting it consume me because I thought there was no cure for what ailed me, but it turns out there is. Love. That’s all it took and that comes from you.”
“Axel…” I couldn’t think of a response. I was too busy crying and trying to come to terms with the disparate emotions raging through me. “You can’t…”
“Can’t what? Leave the Protectors? Already turned in my resignation.”
“But…” I was so confused. So angry. So fucking in love with him. The weeks we’d been apart had changed nothing and the longer he continued to touch me, the weaker my resolve to walk away.
“I’ll never put anyone or anything before you, ever again. You and me, baby. Forever.”
“You…promise?”
“I’ll swear it in blood if you want me to.”
I could only stare. There was so much sincerity in his eyes, so much love, I almost didn’t recognize him. The man before me was humble, regretful, and just as in love with me as I was with him. It was practically written in the deep recesses of his soul, that’s how brightly it shone out at me.
He was leaving the Royal Protectors.
For me.
I couldn’t fathom what kind of sacrifice that had to be for him and I clutched him tighter to me, pulling on his shirt as if afraid he would try to escape.
“I need you,” I whispered against his mouth, breathing heavily.
“I know, baby.” He kept kissing me.
“Now,” I hissed.
He moaned, deep in his chest, his breath catching a little. “Babe, we can’t—”
“Now,” I repeated, sliding my hand down to cup his erection.
“Honey, we’re on a public beach and—”
“You haven’t left the Protectors yet—you have your badge.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement as I ran a hand up under his shirt. I didn’t know why it was so important that he make love to me, right here and now, but it was, and I wouldn’t be able to truly breathe until he did.
Our mouths stayed firmly attached as he backed me over the sidewalk and onto the sand, one arm around my waist.
“Solange, honey, are you sure—” He tried again, but I wasn’t having it. I’d been without him for more than a month and he wasn’t going to put me off another second. Not now that I had him back.
“Yes.” I motioned to the abandoned lifeguard tower. “There.”
“You’re crazy,” he chuckled, tugging me in that direction.
The tower itself was locked but we went up the ramp to the ledge that led to the locked door, and with the wooden building protecting us from both the wind and prying eyes of tourists on the street, he made short work of unzipping my jeans. Our mouths came together again almost frantically as he unzipped his slacks, his erection springing free. He pushed me against the wall and I stepped out of my jeans. I wasn’t wearing panties and he simply lifted me off my feet and set me right on his cock. I closed my eyes as I slid down and the world slipped away.
42
Axel
It felt like I’d just slipped into her soul instead of her body. We were on a public beach, where anyone could potentially see us at any time, but all I saw was her. Those big blue eyes boring into mine, even in the darkness. Those plump red lips parted, on the verge of crying out. Her slender throat, bare for me to suck on. And suck I did. Her neck, the underside of her chin, her ear, and then back to her lips, where I sucked on her tongue like it was mine.
Like she was mine.
I thrust up so hard she grunted, even as her pussy clenched around me and she tilted her hips to take me deeper.
“Fuck, baby, I’ve missed you.”
“Say it,” she whispered, pressing her forehead to mine.
“Say what, beautiful?”
“That you love me.”
“I fucking love you.” I slowed down a little, pausing to kiss her again, swiping my tongue against hers and digging my fingers into the soft globes of her ass.
“I need you to say it over and over,” she panted. “Until I believe it.”
“I love you.” I thrust in and out, repeating the words every time I bottomed out, watching her face as she slowly let herself go. It was beautiful, the passion lurking there as I made love to her.
Out of nowhere, she convulsed around me, a soft cry escaping her lips as she climaxed. I was right behind her and once I could think again, I looked down into her face. God, she was gorgeous.
“I haven’t heard you say you love me too,” I said after a few minutes. I was still inside of her and she was clinging to me, legs wrapped around my waist, as if she’d never let go.
“I said it first,” she murmured. “Back before you were ready to say it back.”
“You did,” I agreed. “But it would be nice to hear it.”
“I love you.” She kissed me softly this time, her lips a whisper against mine. “More than anything.”
“We should get our clothes back on,” I said, glancing around. “I still have my badge but if we get hauled in and I have to call Sandor because I just had sex on the beach, I’ll never hear the end of it.”
She smiled and slowly slid to the ground. I helped her get her jeans back on before stuffing myself back in my pants and picking up her bag, which she’d dropped when we’d gotten busy.
“I don’t know what we’re supposed to do now,” she said with a soft laugh as we walked back towards the street.
“My last day is the thirtieth of November, so I don’t know what you want to do about your job and everything, but if you stay here, we won’t see much of each other until we leave. I’ll have to figure out the process of bringing you to the U.S. legally, whether you need a visa or if we need to get married first or something else.”
“Okay.”
We headed down a side street a few blocks away from the café and I looked around. “Where are we going?”
“I rent a room in a house at the end of the street.”
“Oh.” I looked around, thinking this wasn’t the safest street for her to be walking down by herself late at night, but I figured I’d keep my mouth shut. I knew her well enough to know that would annoy her. I’d have to find a way to be less overprotective going forward, but it was going to be hard.
“Do you think I’d be able to go to university in the U.S.?” she asked me.
“I don’t see why not. You might have to take a bunch of placement tests because your records from Limaj might not translate to the appropriate scores or whatever, but yeah.”
“It’s expensive, though, isn’t it? It’s not free like it is here?”
“Going to college can get expensive, but it’s not like you’re going to Harvard. University of Nevada won’t be too bad once we establish residency in the state.”
“How far is Las Vegas from where your family is?” she asked.
“It’s pretty far. We’d have to fly to get there.”
She seemed thoughtful. “Do you like Las Vegas?”
“I have a job there, which is important, because health insurance can be really expensive, so having a job that provides it isn’t optional. Especially if we want kids, and we’d have it right away if I went to work for Westfield & Carruthers.”
“So many logistics,” she murmured.
“It’ll be fine. There will probably be an adjustment period for you, but even though we’ve just ta
lked about a lot of negatives, there are a lot of great things about the U.S.”
“I’ll get to talk on the phone to Nicola whenever I want.” She grinned. “Without paying a fortune.”
“Yup. And you can fly out to Florida to visit, too.”
“How far is the flight from here to Las Vegas?” she asked.
“About twelve or thirteen hours in the air.”
“That’s long,” she said, unlocking a side door and letting us into a tiny but functional room.
“It is,” I acknowledged, looking around. It was one big room with a double bed on one wall, a small kitchen with a hot plate, microwave and mini-refrigerator, a table with two chairs, a worn recliner, a dresser, a tall wardrobe I assumed was for hanging clothes, and a door that probably led to a bathroom. That was it.
I hated that she’d chosen to live like this rather than stay in Hiskale, but I understood her need to get as far away as she could from what she considered a huge betrayal by almost everyone in her life. That was something else we were going to have to talk about, but not tonight. We’d just gotten back together, just gotten engaged, and I didn’t want to get into anything like that. There were a few things we had to talk about right away, though.
“I have to leave early in the morning,” I told her. “We’re really short-staffed now that Natalia’s gone and—”
“Where did Natalia go?” she asked, frowning.
“She started her six months in Iraq early. It’s an exchange program but the guy they sent is really a fish out of water. Doesn’t know anything about our customs, the language, palace protocol, stuff like that, so mostly he gets duty assignments inside the palace, like keeping an eye on Luke. Lennox is in absolute hell; she’s still puking her brains out but at least now we know why.”
“Why? Is she okay?” Her face was filled with concern, despite how angry she claimed to be with everyone.
“Twins.”
Her eyes rounded. “Oh my god.”
“Yeah, she and Sandor are excited but pretty freaked out. And she’s dragging. They were figuring a due date in late April but twins tend to come early so now they’re thinking early April and they’re scrambling to figure out how they’re going to do it all.”
She didn’t respond to that and started to get undressed. “I’m going to take a shower. Coming?”
“Yeah, sure.”
We definitely were going to have to talk about her relationship with everyone back at the palace, just not tonight.
I got up at the ass crack of dawn and headed back to Hiskale. I had to be there for the morning briefing because we were too short-staffed for me to miss any more work than I already had. My leaving had been a huge blow to Erik but he’d understood. He empathized with how Solange felt and didn’t begrudge me the happiness I’d found with her. Sandor had been less understanding, wanting to reach out to her, try to explain why he’d handled things the way he had. I’d convinced him that would only make things worse but part of me wished he would. Not only was I leaving a job I loved, I had deep friendships with the other Protectors and it would be hard to keep up with them once I left for Vegas.
“You’re late,” Sandor deadpanned as I walked in at two minutes after nine.
I flipped him the bird. “Traffic.”
I moved to pour a cup of coffee and realized they were all staring at me. I turned slowly, coffee cup at my lips. “What?” I asked.
“I swear to god,” Lennox muttered, “I will kick your ass into the middle of next week if you don’t tell us every detail.”
Everyone knew why I’d taken last night off.
I quirked up one side of my mouth. “We’re back together.”
“Yay!” A cheer went up around the room.
Except for Sandor.
He looked annoyed.
Lennox nudged him. “Stop being an ass. He loves her. Are you saying you wouldn’t have moved heaven and earth to get me back?”
“You wouldn’t have made me sacrifice an oath I took to serve my king,” he said.
“You didn’t call me a traitor and turn your back on me,” she shot back.
He didn’t say anything.
I hated this but I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t willing to give her up and I’d done what I needed to do to keep her.
“What if I talked to her?” Erik asked. “Maybe coming from me, maybe even bringing Levi with me, to appeal to her maternal instincts… For her to get a sense of the panic I feel every time there’s a threat to my family?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“I don’t want to do anything that might impact your relationship,” he said quietly. “So you have to guide me here.”
“I don’t think it will. She’s staying in Voda for the rest of the month, though, until the café where she’s working closes for the winter and to settle things at the jewelry store and with her landlord. Then she’s going to move in with her parents at the inn until it’s time for us to move.”
Sandor grunted. “She’s being selfish as fuck,” he muttered.
“Don’t.” I gave him a look. He was my boss but not when it came to Solange. “I know you don’t want me to leave, and I don’t either, but I had to make a choice and I chose her. I’m sorry it leaves you guys in a lurch, but I can probably convince her to stay until the first of the year if it comes down to it.”
“Once she gets back to Hiskale, I’ll talk to her,” Xander said. “Now that you guys are back together, she might be open to talking about things.”
I grimaced. “Not based on the vibe I got last night.”
43
Solange
The weeks between Axel and me getting back together and my moving back to Hiskale had been difficult and not at all the way I’d envisioned things going. He was busier than ever, and though we spoke often and he was always sweet and attentive, I sensed a sadness in him I’d never felt before. Instead of the romance and excitement I’d been expecting, there was mostly guilt. Guilt that we were leaving my parents. Guilt that I was making Axel leave a job he loved. And mostly, guilt that I was coming between Axel and his friends.
It wasn’t intentional, and I certainly hadn’t asked him to resign from the Protectors, but every time I thought about going to the palace, I got nauseated and there was no way for him to remain a Royal Protector with me feeling that way. Which left me wallowing in guilt, torn between my hurt feelings and the feelings of the man I loved more than anything.
I mentioned it to my mother as she helped me unpack in my room.
“Of course you feel guilty,” she said, scowling at me. “Look at what you’re doing to him, turning his life upside down.”
I sighed. She’d gone from not wanting me to be with him to being his biggest fan. My father too. Apparently, they’d all become buddies while Axel had worked on his plan to win me back. That irked me too, and I had a feeling I needed to deal with some of these issues.
“I never asked him to do any of it,” I protested, leaning against the dresser.
“Solange.” She turned to me, laundry basket in her hands. “He made a mistake and he knew it. He had to find a way to win you back and the only way to do that would be to show you how much you mean to him. In love, everyone makes sacrifices for the other person, but in this case, I think you ask too much.”
“I didn’t ask!” I said in frustration. “He did this on his own.”
“You refuse to move in with him at the palace, you want nothing to do with your friends there and—”
“They’re not my friends,” I said tightly.
She shook her head at me. “You’re going to wind up losing him because you can’t find it in your heart to forgive. If you forgave Axel, why can’t you forgive the others? You don’t have to answer me, but you should think about it.” She huffed out of the room and I sank down on the bed in frustration.
She was probably right but I couldn’t help it. I was so hurt by all of it. Still. Maybe I was being stubborn. Maybe it was the lingering guilt t
hat I was the reason Logan was dead and being around his friends at the palace would be a constant reminder of that.
My heart hurt every time I thought of Logan, even now. And poor Natalia, who’d been in love with him. I couldn’t imagine this happening to Axel and tears burned my eyes as I thought about that possibility.
“Solange.” My father knocked on the door. “You have a visitor.”
I looked up warily. “Who is it?”
“Come.” He disappeared down the hall and I got to my feet. It was probably Xander, coming to try to talk me into visiting the palace, promising me that everyone wanted to see me. That they missed me.
I just didn’t think I could do it.
I walked down the hall and froze. Sitting on the couch, with a baby in his lap, and laughing with my mother, was King Erik. I glanced toward the front door and saw Xander standing there, obviously sent to protect him while he was out of the palace.
Good grief, the king was in the house. And undoubtedly here to see me.
“Your Majesty.” I approached him stiffly, unsure how to behave after everything that had happened.
He arched a brow. “Really? We’re back to formalities? It’s just Erik, okay?”
I nodded. “What, um, are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to you,” he said, bouncing Levi on his knee.
My mother couldn’t help herself and scooped the baby up, nuzzling his tummy until he laughed. Erik smiled up at her, shaking his head. “Because he’s not spoiled enough.”
She shrugged. “It’s a woman thing. I couldn’t not touch him.”
“I understand.” He got to his feet. “Will you take a walk with me, Solange?”
I frowned. “Outside?”
“It’s okay. No one knows I’m here and Xander will be with us.”
I had no choice so I nodded. “Of course.”
We walked out back to the garden. It was a sunny day, despite the chilly weather, but I barely felt it, I was so nervous.