“Jia.” I rushed to her but she placed her hand up to stop me, shaking her head vigorously.
“No… don’t come near me. Don’t. I don’t know you! I don’t know you.”
I narrowed my gaze at her, wondering what the hell she was saying and what could have happened in the time since we’d last seen each other.
“What are you saying to me? Did something happen?”
I took one step forward and she dashed over to her chest of drawers, opened the top drawer and pulled a gun on me.
Needless to say shock flew through me.
This was the woman I couldn’t kill. But she was holding a gun on me, looking like she was ready to kill me. Her eyes blazed with fury I’d never seen on her before. Not in the short time I’d known her had I seen her look like this.
Like her father. A killer.
Chapter 2
Jia
The gun was in my hands.
Cold, hard, steel…cold…
It felt like death.
Very symbolic of death. Ironic because it could take life.
Guns were tools designed to kill.
The coldness reminded me of how my mother felt when I’d watched her die. As I’d watched the life leave her body.
My mother…
As she lay on the ground in a pool of blood and I held her, watching the life drain from her, that was the first thing I noticed. How quickly she became so cold. So cold. Unnaturally cold.
Of course it would be, death wasn’t natural to me and at sixteen years old, it was the first time my eyes were opened to the truth of my life and the darkness of my world. Hard truth had hit me with a slap to the face.
It slapped me into a state of awareness, reminding me I was the daughter of Giovanni Marchesi.
All the while I’d been aware that our family was quite unlike all my friends, and we belonged to the mafia, I’d never really took note until that day.
In that one event I knew to always expect the unexpected.
Expect a life where you have to stay on your feet and be ready. Just be ready for anything, even if you don’t know what you’re prepping for.
Be ready…
Yet… I allowed Xander Cage to fool me.
Was it his charm?
No…
It wasn’t charm.
It was him…
Men tried to charm me out of my dignity all the time. They saw me and saw the outside, became fascinated with the exterior of me. They liked how I looked.
Platinum blond hair and big tits. That was how one asshole described me.
It was true though. That was how I looked.
Xander, however, seemed to look past that and saw me, the person I was inside. Me the artist who wanted to show the world her imagination, me the girl who was aching to pursue her dreams, me the woman who was trapped in the darkness of the underworld with a monster for a father.
That was why I liked him, it was that part.
But it was a lie.
I stood before him, hands steady on the gun I held on him, steady and trying my very best not to falter. It felt wrong to be pointing the gun at him… it felt so wrong. The lie though made it right.
He wasn’t who he’d said he was, he said so himself.
I’d learned a lot in the last few hours.
Heard too much.
Heard far too much.
The kind of stuff I could get killed for.
He was some kind of official. That was what I’d worked out. Maybe a cop. That was my first thought as I heard him discussing plans with his people.
That was what happened earlier. It happened just over an hour ago. Although it felt like a dream. Or, actually, it was more of a nightmare. Like it wasn’t quite real at all because it got me here to this point where instead of being happy to see him, I was holding a gun at him.
I went to him last night to say goodbye. I slept with him and believed his promises. I believed he really cared about me.
Then I’d fallen asleep.
I could laugh… sleep was always the thing that took him away from me. Always. This time was the worst.
I fell asleep and woke up when I heard him on the phone telling someone he wasn’t who he was. He left his apartment and I followed him to the warehouse facility and heard him talking to his people.
The man with the eye patch—Ethan— reminded him he’d have to kill. They were talking about me. His superior or whoever that guy was, laid down the law reminding him who I was.
Xander answered and said he’d do what he had to do.
Meaning he’d kill me if he had to. I wasn’t stupid. What else could his answer mean?
Nobody told me this… I heard it and saw it all for myself.
That was the thing that hurt the most. I saw and heard it all for myself.
Hard truth again.
“Jia, why are you pointing a gun at me?” he asked. His gaze was fixed on mine. I’d noticed how he hadn’t looked away from me since he saw the gun.
He’d kept his eyes trained on me the whole time as silent tension gripped us.
“Who are you?” I tried to keep the quiver out of my voice. It was near impossible since I’d been crying. I’d come home crying and hadn’t stopped.
“You know who I am.”
“I know who you want people to think you are. But you are not that.” Maybe it was foolish to let him know I knew he was playing some game. Maybe it was crazy and I should pretend I didn’t know. It would be wiser, but this was my choice. I figured if anything happened, Frankie was just outside.
I had a panic alarm Pa gave me. If I pressed the button Frankie would come here first and the other knights would follow, coming from wherever they were.
Although, since I was pointing the gun at Xander, I might not need help.
One shot was all it would take. Pa taught me how to use a gun and he’d told me to aim for the head.
One shot to the head between the eyes.
The thought made more tears spill down my cheeks.
I couldn’t believe those were my thoughts.
I couldn’t believe I was thinking of shooting Xander and killing him.
Xander…
How did I get here? How did we get here?
Just yesterday I was thinking I was in love with him. I’d thought of nice the sentiment was. Me in love. I felt it and acknowledged the emotion for what it was.
I must have gotten it wrong though. He’d fooled me. What I must have felt had to be something I created. All me. I was the fool again for allowing myself to feel for him.
A man I’d barely known.
We’d only known each other for weeks. That was all. Not long enough, yet he had me at hello.
I steadied my breathing and tried to focus. I needed to cut the shit and stop crying. Stop this weakness and find strength.
“I heard you.” I spoke on the edge of a whisper, but loud enough for him to hear me. “I heard you on the phone talking to someone. I heard… everything you said. So and I followed you to that place where you met your… people.”
The minute I said that realization dawned on his handsome face. The next few seconds that passed felt like eons. Eons of silence drifting in the space between us. Prolonging my anxiety and desire to know what the hell was going on.
“And?” Was all he said after the agonizing nothingness.
It infuriated me to no end. “And? Really, that’s what you ask me? And?”
“And… what are you going to do?”
I hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. What was I going to do indeed?
“I’m the one asking questions here.” I stood a little straighter. “I’m the one who wants answers. I want the truth. I told you the other week that I hate liars. You tell me the damn truth, Xander. So, I’ll ask again. Who the fuck are you?”
“I’m Xander Cage,” he answered, eyes tightening at the corners as he narrowed his gaze at me.
I scowled. “That’s your real name?”
“That is my rea
l name.”
Fine. Maybe it was. That was low on the list of priorities and insignificant.
Xander Cage might be his name, but what was he? Maybe that was the right question to ask.
A cop.
Maybe that was it. Cops and the feds were always trying to investigate Pa.
“Are you a cop, or fed?”
“No.”
Not that… so what was he?
“What are you?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
There… I was on the right track. I was inclined to believe he was lying until he said that. The question wasn’t who he was, it was what he was. That was the key here. What.
“Why not? Why can’t you tell me?”
“I just can’t.”
“You’ve come for my father? Is that what you’re doing? That guy said there was a mission. The man with the eye patch, Ethan. He said something about a mission.”
“Yes.”
So, who did I know that did missions? Xander was an ex-marine. Or was he? Maybe he wasn’t an ex. Or, maybe he was something else.
“An agent…” I surmised and when the blue of his eyes clouded I knew I was totally on to something. What was worse was I knew that if I was right then Pa was up to something really, really bad. Worse than his usual stuff and it explained everything.
His behavior, the shootout, the freak out behavior he’d had over the last few weeks.
Funny how it all coincided with Xander’s arrival. Still, Xander came on the scene when Pa’s knights were killed weeks ago. I’d be willing to bet that was the perfect opening for him to step into our lives.
“What’s going on? What has he done? My father, what did he do this time?”
He shook his head at me and sadness filled his eyes. “Jia, I can’t. I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you anymore than you know.”
“But …you’ll kill him?” I had to factor that in.
There were so many people who wanted my father dead. Too many to count. So many I didn’t know about. A lot he’d kept from me.
I knew it would happen one day though. I figured either I’d see it happen or I’d get a call.
I didn’t want to see it happen, like to Ma.
I didn’t want to witness the death of another parent.
It would be different with Pa. I knew that. I definitely knew that because my father was old Lucifer himself.
The man before me was a devil who lied to me, but Pa was worse than anybody I knew.
Pa was the worst man I knew. I’d seen him kill mindlessly and only weeks ago for his stupid recruitment. If Xander killed him he might deserve it. He might deserve it for a lot of reasons. Including the fact that just yesterday he told me he’d kill Xander if I continued to see him.
Pa was going to do everything I never wanted and in the crudest sardonic of ways, by sending me to Europe like I’d wanted but as Armand’s wife. Pa had done so much to me in the last few weeks, enough to make me hate him forever.
But, he was my father. He was evil, pure evil, but he was my father.
He was still Pa and I couldn’t feel comfortable knowing someone I knew could kill him.
“I don’t like killing. But if I have to… I’ll do it,” Xander answered, after the long pause of silence.
It didn’t escape me that his answer sounded a lot like what he said back at the warehouse.
He said he’d do what he’d have to do.
So he would kill me?
I just couldn’t believe it.
“Me too? Does that include me too, Xander Cage? You’ll kill me too if I stand in your way? You’ll do what you have to do because it’s your job? You could look at me… and kill me? Just like that?” I was so stupid. Why was I bothering to ask those questions I already knew the answers to?
And, I was worse than stupid because I knew he could take me down and out right now, no matter that I held the gun.
He was an ex-marine and I saw the way he’d handled himself. He was probably just pissing with me, allowing me to think I had the upper hand because I had the gun.
“No,” he breathed and I continued to stare at him.
Assessing his gaze and holding his attention, I tried to figure out if that was a lie.
I could never tell when people were lying. The most I could grab to try and figure them out was that it felt like something was off. With him, it was hard. Over the time I’d known him he made it seem like he didn’t want to get involved with me because he worked for Pa, then there was a moment when something snapped and it was like he didn’t care about that. There was however, always something that didn’t feel right. I was so taken with him though that it never occurred to me to look a little deeper.
His eyes though…
His eyes had seemed to tell a different story.
He was still looking at me. Looking and the wealth of care that always filled his gaze reached out to me and damn it, damn my stupid heart, I believed him.
“You said you’d do what you had to. What if you had to kill me? What if something happened and you had to kill me?”
His gaze dropped to the ground. It was the first time he’d looked away. When he looked back to me he shook his head again.
“I can’t. I couldn’t do it, Jia.”
My hands… my hands started shaking, trembling in tandem with the shiver in my soul.
“Why?” I couldn’t hold back the desperation in my voice this time. I was desperate to know the reason.
“It’s real for me Jia. You and me. It’s all real for me. It shouldn’t be and I wasn’t here to fool you. I’m not here for that. It just happened. It was reckless and irresponsible. But that’s me all over.” He pressed his lips together. “I would never do anything to hurt you. It was real for me. That is the truth.”
“Was?” Another foolish question. What the hell did I expect to happen now?
Hope filled me earlier when he said he wouldn’t allow Armand to take me. Back then I never imagined any of this. I wasn’t thinking and the same thing must have taken me now.
Passion.
It was the thing.
It was the force that had driven me to him. It was the force that couldn’t be tamed and guided my thoughts and actions.
“Is.” He corrected and passion sparked the flame that warmed my heart.
“It’s real for me too.”
It was real for me, but it didn’t change anything.
A knock sounded at the door.
“Please for the love of God tell me you guys are decent,” Frankie said from the other side of the door. “As in clothes on.”
“Yes,” I called back. I glanced at the door and lowered the gun. “Come … in.”
As the door clicked open I hid the gun behind my back.
Frankie stepped in and looked from me to Xander, then back to me.
We’d had our run ins a few times. A week ago there’d been one big blow up when Pa took my car.
Frankie had always been this hard man who I thought lacked emotion but sympathy and concern filled his eyes when he saw my tear-streaked face.
“I’m sorry guys. I just wanted to tell you Armand is on his way over, be here in about twenty minutes give or take,” Frankie said.
Fucking Armand.
What an asshole. It was just after four in the damn morning, but he’d clearly wanted to come here and made his stupid presence known. I hated that fucking prick so much.
Hated him, and couldn’t believe he was who Pa had chosen for me to marry.
“Thank you.” I managed a little smile despite my inner turmoil. Frankie could, however, see through me and knew while I was smiling, I wasn’t okay. I was far from it.
“I’m staying, Princess.” Frankie nodded with assurance. “I’ll be outside even though he’ll want me gone. I’ll stay in the truck, so if you need me you call okay?”
“Thanks so much.” I did appreciate him, more than I could show right now.
“No worries.” He looked to Xander and hardened h
is stare. “Kid?”
Xander held up his hand and nodded. “I know. I won’t be here long.”
Frankie left us.
When the door clicked shut I continued to stare at Xander.
“What now? What do I do now? What do we do?” I asked.
I thought the question was damn well called for. It was the right thing to be asking. I just wasn’t so sure I’d like the answer.
“It wouldn’t be right … it wouldn’t be fair for me to keep seeing you. It’s safer given what you know.” He gave me a curt nod. His answer completely dissolved all that I hoped for. Foolish as it was to imagine him saving me, saving me again. This time though it would probably have packed the most punch. “It would be safer Jia… if you kept quiet about everything. Safe, not from me… but as you know I’m not alone. Please, please, don’t say anything.”
Don’t say anything…
I think I was already there, at that conclusion. To keep my mouth shut. I was good at it anyway, it came second nature.
I knew the importance of keeping quiet and that you didn’t just get allowed to walk free with knowledge that could destroy a plan. People got killed for seeing and saying too much.
There was stuff I wasn’t supposed to talk about. Ever.
This was just one more thing. One more thing to add to the list.
And he couldn’t see me anymore.
Back to the job.
I nodded. “Sure. Job comes first right?”
“I mean it Jia. I need your word that you won’t say anything to your father or anybody. You can’t talk to anybody about what you heard or saw. There’s enough danger in the mix without adding to it.” His eyes pleaded with me making me see the gravity of the situation. “If it’s real between us, please promise me you won’t say anything.”
It was the pleading in his eyes that reached the part of me that fell for him.
“You have my word. I won’t say anything to anybody, especially not my father.”
“Thank you.” He sighed, looked me over with sadness in his eyes then left me.
I watched him go and the tears took me again.
Tears and hopelessness.
Xander was the first person in a long time to give me something I never expected.
Happiness.
It was gone now.
Tease of Spades: Game of Love Series Page 2