Wicked White

by Michelle A. Valentine

  Silence falls over the television for a few moments, and then the sound of Ace strumming the acoustic guitar strings come through the speakers, followed by Ace’s smooth, silky voice.

  As the words flow from his mouth, he stares directly into the camera, and it’s almost as if he’s singing right to me. The song is about a tragic love story ending on a bad note and two people working hard to find a way to get back into each other’s good graces but screwing it up every time they try to fix it. He’s apologizing through the lyrics for meeting me at the wrong time and putting me through all the shit that’s gone on between us since he rode into my life, but those aren’t the things that strike me the most.

  When he breaks into the chorus, he calls me his Juliet and calls himself the worst Romeo in history, but he wants to figure out how to be the best. He’s asking me to forgive him.

  Tears flow down my cheeks, and I can feel the stare of every single one of my friends watching me as I stare at the man that I love, but can seem to never have, on the screen in front of me. I’m not sure what this even means for us, but I’m praying it’s a sign that he’s finally coming to me.

  When the song ends, Linda thanks Ace for the moving performance and wishes him well with the new album before signing off, allowing the show to cut to a commercial.

  Shane’s beside me, nudging his shoulder into mine, trying to cheer me up.

  I swat away the tears and then sniff before acknowledging him. “Hey.”

  “Hey,” he replies and then sighs. “I never stood a chance with you, did I?”

  I glance over in his direction and see the sadness written all over Shane’s face. It sucks that he’s hurt, but I’m glad I never promised him anything other than friendship or I would’ve stomped all over his heart with this display of affection for another man.

  I pull my lips into a tight line and shake my head. “That’s why I couldn’t give you more than friendship. I still love him.”

  Shane forces a smile. “It appears that he still loves you too.”

  Opening night has finally arrived. I’ve prepared for this moment for the last two months, and I’m finally ready to make my debut as Lesley, lead actress in Forgiving Lesley. I still can’t get over my name on the marquee outside.

  Me. On Broadway. I can’t fucking believe it!

  A text from Birdie chirps on my cell, telling me that she and Adele found their seats. I smile, loving the fact that people who love me are sitting out in that audience. I managed to get tickets for Darcy, Jason, and Shane too. They’ve all been there with me through my grueling rehearsal schedule and trying to keep my mind off the fact that Ace still hasn’t called me despite the nationally televised serenade.

  There were so many times that I wanted to quit this play because I doubted that I had what it takes to perform in the big leagues, but all my friends were right there behind me, reminding me that I was born to do this.

  “Iris, it’s showtime. You ready for this?” says Jacob Terrey, the beautiful man who earned the role opposite me as Jonah, Lesley’s love interest—a man who I’ve had to practice kissing over and over for the past two months.

  I smile, trying hard not to sweat. “Yes. I am so excited, nervous, but mostly excited.”

  Jacob wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his warm embrace. “You’re going to knock them dead.”

  It feels nice to be hugged like this, and I’m sure to people who don’t know any better, it might look like there’s something going on between me and Jacob, but I’m sure his boyfriend would quickly correct any false assumptions.

  “Thank you, Jacob. Good luck out there tonight,” I tell him before he pulls away and tells me good-bye so he can go off to warm up.

  Before I know it, the opening music plays, and Jacob and I, along with the rest of the cast, are out there allowing our souls to bleed before the sold-out crowd. At first, I’ll admit, I am a little stiff, but I quickly loosen up and just have fun with it, making my voice that much more fluid.

  I don’t remember ever feeling this confident in my abilities as a performer as I do in the final moments of the play. I sing the last note, and the crowd jumps to their feet, and the theater rumbles with applause.

  When the curtain comes down, Jacob and I go out holding hands to take our final bows. Adele smiles as she and Birdie stand and clap along with the rest of my friends. My feet stumble below me as I bow in my over-the-top ball gown that I wear for the final scene.

  “You okay there, Iris?” Jacob asks as he tightens his hold on my hand, keeping me from falling.

  “Yes, I’m good,” I answer as I walk carefully off the stage.

  I make it back to my dressing mirror and smile at all the beautiful flower arrangements waiting for me.

  “Wow. They love you,” Jacob says as he passes by and sees my display, and then he turns his attention behind me. “And it looks like they’re still coming in.”

  I turn to a young delivery man wearing a red jacket and baseball cap who is holding a huge white box. “Ms. Easton, I’ve got a delivery for you.” He smiles while thrusting a delivery slip toward me. “Just sign on the X.”

  I do as he instructs, writing my name carefully on the form, and then take the box. “Do you know who they’re from?”

  He shakes his head. “Nope, I’m sorry. I just deliver them.”

  “Thank you.” I smile, and he nods politely and then turns on his heel and heads out the door.

  I place the box down on my dressing room table and carefully untie the large red ribbon holding the box shut before lifting the lid off. Twelve breathtaking long-stem roses greet me with an amazing floral scent, and I gasp. I search for a card so I know who to thank for such a beautiful gift and find it stuffed between two of the flowers.

  “To thine own self be true.”

  My hand flies to my mouth as I suck in a ragged breath. All this time has gone by and I’ve not heard a single word from him, now this? On opening night? How dare he keep toying with me like this! What do these flowers even mean? Is he sorry? Is he here?

  What in the hell is going on?

  Tears slip down my cheeks, and I quickly bat them away, trying hard to save my stage makeup from running and turning me into a complete mess, but it’s no use. I can no longer hold back the pain that I feel, and I’m sick and tired of Ace Johnson—White—whoever and the hell he is playing with my emotions. I’ve waited long enough. It’s time I track him down and demand some answers.

  My chest rises and falls at such an accelerated speed that I’m going to hyperventilate if I can’t calm down. I wish he was here. I need to yell at him—scream at the top of my lungs to get out weeks of pure frustration.

  “Damn,” Jacob teases. “I’ve never seen anyone develop a pure expression of dismay over getting flowers. Usually they conjure the opposite emotion.”

  I throw the card back in the box and shake my head. “I know . . . it’s just these flowers . . . well, the sender, rather, confuses the shit out of me. He hasn’t spoken to me in so long . . . I don’t understand why he keeps playing with me like this. I don’t like being strung along.”

  He nods. “Men are dumbasses sometimes. Take it from me. I am one. But I’m sure, whoever he is, that he’ll get his head out of his ass. He’d be stupid to lose you. Hell, if I was a straight man, I would steal you away myself.”

  I shake my head and laugh. “You are too much, but thank you.”

  Jacob wraps one hand around my shoulders and pulls me into a friendly hug. “You’re welcome, gorgeous. Try not to be so down. You did amazing out there. Don’t let an asshole keep you from enjoying yourself tonight.”

  After Jacob leaves me alone at my dressing table, I find myself just staring at the box of roses, wondering about Ace. While I’m still angry with him, I still want him. I just don’t understand why he hasn’t called me. There are so many things that could be worked out between us if he would only give me a chance to explain about what he saw with Shane.

  My shoulders slump,
and the fire I felt when I first received the flowers morphs into the typical sadness that fills me whenever I allow myself to think about how much I miss Ace.

  Everyone for the past few weeks has encouraged me to move on when he didn’t immediately contact me after singing that song on Celebrity Pop Buzz Nightly. I thought for sure he’d want to make up with me after that, but I heard nothing, and that hurt the worst. It made me feel like I meant nothing at all to him. So my friends are all probably right. I need to stop holding on to hope that Ace and I will ever get back together.

  My cell buzzes inside my purse with an incoming call. I grab my bag from under the dressing table and fish out my phone before I answer, “What’s up, Birdie?”

  “Hey!” she yells into the phone while a crowd mumbles around her. “We’re all out in front of the theater. How much longer will you be? We’re waiting to celebrate with you.”

  I glance up at my reflection in the mirror and sigh. “I still have my costume on and all the stage makeup, so it’ll take me some time to get all that off. There’s a little bar and grill a couple blocks away called Sunny’s Place. If you all want to wait on me there, I’ll be down as soon as I get all this crap off.”

  “Okay,” she answers. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

  I tell my best friend good-bye and then toss my phone back into my purse before I turn my attention to the mirror and begin removing the fifty million pins from my hair.

  Stagehands rush back and forth all around me, collecting and organizing all the props for tomorrow’s show. There’s a buzz of excitement in the air, and we all know that we’re a part of something special. Everywhere I look, there are smiles, including on the face of our director, Mark. It takes a lot to impress him, so it’s a great feeling knowing that our production has pleased him.

  Mark has been on Broadway for a long time. His graying hair and stoic features give off the appearance of experience. I’ve learned so much from him over the last few weeks, and I’m so grateful that he took a chance on casting an unknown like me.

  When he notices me watching him in the mirror, Mark makes his way over to me with his assistant, Shelia, in tow. Over the last few weeks of rehearsal, things have become a little more relaxed around here. Instead of Mr. Talsman, he insists we are all on a first-name basis so we bond as a unit, making everyone more comfortable.

  “Iris, can I have a moment?” he asks.

  “Sure.” I throw the pin on the table and turn to face him.

  He smiles. “The performance you just gave ranks up there with some of the best I’ve ever seen in my twenty years on Broadway.”

  Heat floods my cheeks and I can’t fight the grin that stretches across my face. “Really?”

  He nods. “I really mean that, and I’m sure once the reviews start popping up about the show, other directors will come knocking on your door. I have a feeling that you’re bound for great things.”

  “Mark, your car is here,” Shelia says as she continues to glance down at her phone.

  “Okay,” he says to her before turning back in my direction. “Congratulations, Iris. I’ll see you for tomorrow’s performance.”

  I fight the urge to squeal like a twelve-year-old girl who has just found out her crush likes her back. That’s the nicest thing Mark’s ever said to me, and it’s boosted my confidence in myself tenfold.

  Still floating on cloud nine after I remove all my stage gear, I push through the side door of the theater smiling. I take a deep breath of the crisp evening New York air, and then it instantly whooshes from my lungs the moment I spot a familiar face.

  There, standing on the sidewalk, is Ace in a black leather jacket and faded blue jeans. He’s just as sexy as I remember, and that pisses me off. It makes it a whole lot harder to hate him when he looks so good, but that’s not going to stop me from giving him a piece of my mind.

  My eyes drift down to the single red rose he’s holding in his hands before they focus on the hopeful expression he’s wearing. Does he honestly think sending me flowers and showing up here on the most important night of my life automatically earns his way back into my good graces?

  Gah! This is unbelievable.

  I shake my head. “What are you doing here?”

  He licks his lips slowly, and damn it, I wish I could say the action disgusts me, but it does just the opposite. It makes me miss his mouth and the crazy way it made me feel when he used to put it on me.

  “I came to see you.” He takes a step toward me and holds out the flower. “This is for you.”

  I pull my lips into a tight line but refuse to take it from him.

  He frowns after I make it obvious that I’m not going to make his apology easy. He hurt me and I don’t know if I can forgive him for it.

  He pulls his hand back, taking the rose with it. “Did you get the others?”

  I sigh. “I did. Thank you.”

  It’s the lamest show of gratitude I’ve ever made, but it’s impossible to fake being happy over receiving them, especially since my initial reaction to them was anger.

  His hand holding the rose falls limply to his side and he shoves his other hand into his hair. “This isn’t going anything like I envisioned.”

  It’s almost as if he only meant to think that last statement instead of saying it aloud, because his eyes snap to mine the moment I fire back, “What exactly did you expect, Ace? Did you think that just because you decide to acknowledge my presence again that I would just be so glad that you’ve finally come to me that I’d just jump right into your arms? No fucking questions asked? Do you not know me at all?” Tears leak out of my eyes and I bat them away. “Fuck you, Ace. Just fuck you, all right. I poured my heart out to you over and over again and you didn’t give a damn.”

  Pain flickers across his face. “That’s where you’re wrong. I stayed away because I did give a damn. You told me to leave. I was just doing what you asked me to do.”

  “I told you to leave to protect you!” I shout, causing a few passersby to jerk their heads in our direction. “It killed me to lie to you—to say things that hurt you, but I didn’t know another way. I was hoping you’d call me out and see through my bullshit, but I understand why you ran. I didn’t expect you to accept my apology easily, but it tore my heart apart when every time I reached out to you, you rejected me. Even after you sang ‘Juliet, Forgive Me,’ I’ve heard nothing from you until today. I just don’t want to be hurt anymore.”

  This time it’s him who allows the tears to fall. He stares at me like I’ve just punched him in the gut and left him gasping for air. I’m glad he’s here to know just how pissed off I am. He deserves to see how much he’s hurt me.

  He stares into my eyes as he says, “I know that I fucked up, okay? I knew it the moment I got on my bike and left that it would change everything between us, but damn it, it didn’t make me stop wanting you—needing to be with you. I’m sorry I hurt you, but you hurt me too, and I handled things all wrong by staying away.”

  His eyes glisten as he closes the distance between us and touches my face. “Forgive me, please. I love you and I don’t want to live without you anymore. The taste of you still lingers on my lips, and no matter how much I tried to make myself forget about you, I couldn’t. We were made for each other. I know staying away for so long makes that hard to believe, but it’s the God’s honest truth. You’ve worked your way into my soul, and I’m afraid that you’ve etched yourself onto my heart permanently.”

  My heart bangs in my chest as I close my eyes to allow my brain to absorb everything he’s just said. It feels so good to hear him admit that he wants me too—that he’s been hurting just like I have, but even with his sweet plea for forgiveness, I still have my doubts.

  “How do I know when things get hard that you won’t run off again? My heart won’t survive going through this kind of break again,” I whisper.

  “You’ll have to trust me,” he says. “I know that’s a lot to ask, but the only way that I can prove to you that I’m never going
anywhere again is for you to let me back into your life. I will never leave your side again. I swear it.”

  Strong fingers wrap around my waist as he pulls me into him. “Please, Iris. I’m begging you.”

  My eyes lock on a set of russet ones. They are the same eyes I once stared into while the man I love held me in his arms. Tears run down my cheeks and I feel my resolve wavering. I know it’s a risk, but right now I can’t deny that I’m in love with this man.

  “You’ve got a lot of making up to do,” I tell him with a small smile.

  His eyes brighten, and he attempts to fight back a smile as he cups my face. “I’m willing to put in the work. You’re worth it.”

  “I’m not going to make it easy, you know,” I threaten, causing him to laugh.

  “I would be disappointed if you did.” This time his glorious grin comes at me in full force. “You were amazing tonight.”

  I raise my brow. “You saw the show?”

  He nods. “I wouldn’t have missed this for anything. You took my breath away when you sang. You were perfection.”

  “Kiss her already!” someone walking by on the street shouts at us, reminding me that we aren’t alone in this tender reunion.

  “I love you,” he whispers. “Forever.”

  I bite my lip. “I love you too.”

  Ace grins and then plants his lips on mine. Instantly I melt into him, enjoying the taste of his lips while we show the world a kiss that would rival any on-screen scene and begin the sequel to our own epic romance.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  First off, I want to thank you, my dear readers, for giving this book a shot!

  Emily Snow, Kelli Maine, and Kristen Proby (aka the Wicked Mafia), the past couple of years with you all have been amazing. Thank you for your love and support. Love you guys hard!