The Weight of Dreams

by Molly Lavenza

  “Is it far?” I moved closer to him, carefully but without fear. Lantis was definitely someone who would feed on any sort of insecurity, and would enjoy any show of weakness.

  How did he and Declan know each other? They were so different, and yet both had the same goal - to take me someplace they believed I was meant to be. Neither one had let me know exactly where in Faerie that was, or why I needed to be there.

  Maybe this was my chance to find answers to both of these questions, I considered as I fought my reluctance to get close to Lantis.

  If his eyes hadn’t been so disturbingly white, it wouldn’t have been so difficult, but that particular feature made him a good fit to star in one of Corrie’s horror movies that she had always tried to get me to watch with her.

  My own nightmares were enough to keep me awake, so I didn’t need any of my friend’s choice entertainment to add to my mental distress.

  I slid my hand into the crook of Lantis’s elbow and watched his expression settle into contentment. His smile relaxed a little, becoming more natural, and he tilted his head to the side as if to thank me.

  Funny, he moved exactly like Declan when he had done the same so many times earlier that day.

  “There are ways for us to get there more quickly than others, but with speed comes a certain reduction in stealth.”

  It took me a second to figure out that he was saying we had to move more slowly in order to stay in hiding, but why?

  “We need to avoid her for as long as possible, for our own safety as well as that of everyone else involved.”

  Everyone else? I wondered if this was a good time for me to ask about the fate of the screamer. Maybe not.

  We began to walk, although I didn’t see how one direction looked any different from the other. Flowers, vines, the bright streams of sunlight that both warmed and blinded me as we moved along at a more leisurely pace than I expected after his revelation.

  Slow was one thing, but if it was so important for me to be here, as Declan had insisted, why wasn’t Lantis in more of a hurry? What if he was actually taking me somewhere different than where Declan had intended?

  “Uh, Lantis?”

  I tried to speak as conversationally as possible, aiming for less hostility and more familiarity. If I was going to charm him, it was going to take some effort.

  “Yes? Do you prefer that I call you Hope, or your true name?”

  A large insect hummed too close to my ear for comfort, and I waved my hand around to displace it, accidentally hitting its hard little body. It angrily buzzed and flew away, and I shook my hand in front of my face to make sure I hadn’t been stung.

  My true name? Had I been given a name before I was switched?

  Could I trust whatever Lantis was saying anyway? After all, he had also just said that Declan was the one who had switched me with the Lampers’s real baby, an accusation that would have to be accounted for when Declan and I were reunited.

  Surely Declan would have told me this if it was true, unless it fell into the area of forgotten memories.

  “Could it be that you are unaware of your true name? Declan truly has been remiss in informing you of such an important fact.”

  Lantis wasn’t exactly being helpful by putting Declan down, instead of just telling me himself.

  “I’m sure that he had his reasons. He’s been very serious and devoted all day . . .”

  With a dramatic sigh that was anything but sincere, Lantis interrupted me. Again. Before he could speak, I continued my train of thought.

  “And as much as I would like to know more about why I’m here and who I am, I believe that his intentions are good. You, on the other hand, haven’t told me anything new, and you have terrible manners.”

  Lantis stopped suddenly, lifting his left arm up to the sky and leaning back enough to gaze into the sunny haze above us.

  “Oh, you wound me! I have impeccable manners. Have I not shown you every politeness?”

  I frowned, knowing that as I scrunched up my nose and narrowed my eyes, I wasn’t the least bit attractive. Lantis didn’t seem to care about my expression, and I figured he wouldn’t care what I had to say either, but I said it anyway.

  “Interrupting someone is rude. Were you never taught that, or do you just say whatever you like and expect everyone to stop and pay attention?”

  He blinked, looking back at me with every appearance of giving his full attention to my words.

  “Do you use this tone with Declan? It’s not very attractive, and along with the terrible face you just made, I can’t imagine how he could have put up with you all day if you had.”

  I stomped my foot and yanked on his elbow, eliciting a small, amused smile from him that only angered me further.

  “Speaking of Declan, you do know where he is, don’t you? You’re responsible for separating us, and I want to know why.”

  Lantis began to walk again, in the same direction he had led me before, and I had no choice but to follow.

  “There are certain advantages to being your consort here in Faerie, and Declan must know that I would have an interest in playing the part.”

  Consort? I hoped he meant that as in guide, rather than a romantic partner. The last person I wanted to have any sort of relationship with was Lantis, and while I had kissed Declan a short time ago, I was growing confused over what Lantis was saying and what Declan had told me.

  Or what he hadn’t told me.

  I shook my head, mostly at my own thoughts. I couldn’t let Lantis come between Declan and me. Sure, I had only known Declan for a day, but Lantis had separated us, mocked Declan, and just very openly explained that his interest in me was for his own benefit.

  And what interest, exactly, did Declan have in me? What was in it for him if I was brought to Faerie?

  Now I was there, or here, rather, and I had become a target, for the lux (singular or plural), and this guy.

  I made myself keep up with Lantis, who wasn’t walking very fast but the way my thoughts were spinning, I was at risk of stopping dead still without even realizing it.

  “So much to think about, isn’t there?”

  Lantis’s voice was grating on my nerves. His tone would have been condescending to a toddler.

  “Where I belong isn’t far, correct? And will you get some sort of reward for being my, what did you call it, consort?”

  I didn’t bother to keep my impatience hidden. He hadn’t told me much, but I didn’t want him to realize how little I actually knew - how little Declan had revealed to me. Let him think I know more than I do, I thought, and maybe he would think he didn’t have a chance to cause problems between Declan and me.

  He patted my hand as it rested in bend of his elbow, not very reassuringly.

  “Ah, right to the point.”

  A scream rose far down the flowery path, not unlike the one I had heard before but not quite the same voice. I cringed, and Lantis held his hand over mine, his pats ending with a firm grip.

  “Never mind that. Some parts of Faerie are a bit, shall we say, unpleasant, but you needn’t worry your golden little head over it.”

  His smile was toothy and false, just like everything else about him. All I needed was a red cape and a basket for my grandmother and I’d be stuck in a certain fairy tale that always made me nervous.

  I decided to play along with him as best I could, starting right then.

  “As my consort, I fully expect you to manage our journey so that I won’t have to encounter anything unpleasant, then.”

  He glanced at me, his smile faltering just enough for me to notice. Was he suspicious of my new attitude? Probably, but if he wanted me to go with him, he’d have to play along.

  Reward or no reward, I was going to let him take me to this place of belonging, where I would find out where Declan was.

  And more importantly, how to get back to him.

  Chapter Four

  The screaming stopped as abruptly as it had before, and I managed to refrain from shudderin
g. As we were walking along, like we were out for a leisurely stroll, the sound had grown louder and more imposing. I was starting to wonder if Lantis was leading me into some sort of trap, where the next scream I heard would be mine.

  “Isn’t it pretty?”

  With shocking speed, a lux - or the lux - popped up in front of Lantis, and while I stumbled for a few steps, he didn’t falter the slightest bit.

  I came to a halt when my arm stretched as far as it could while my hand stayed tight in the V of Lantis’s arm.

  “Just darling. She brightens up the place substantially, don’t you agree?”

  This lux had pearly fangs like the other’s, but there were no bloody streaks. How many of them were there, and was there a way to distinguish them from each other, I wondered. Or was this just one, and it was especially fast, nosy, and surprising?

  It squealed, filling the quiet in the absence of that latest scream.

  “Where is Prince Declan? Have you stolen this prize from him?”

  Prize? I was already starting to feel less than human, which I apparently wasn’t in the first place, by the way Lantis had been talking, as well as how the lux had referred to me earlier. Now I was a prize?

  The lux was nothing if not honest, and if anyone was going to give it to me straight, it was probably going to be this adorably cute and disturbingly ferocious creature.

  If there had been a way to get back home, I would have considered using it. Without Declan, I had no one I could trust in Faerie.

  “Speaking of Declan, I’d like him to join us. I don’t know why we were separated, but he did find me and bring me here, so I think it’s only right that we stay together.”

  Lantis reached out and gently touched the lux’s head, running his hand over its hair while its eyes closed, a slow smile spreading over its face like that of a well-fed cat. I tugged at Lantis’s arm, wondering if he had heard me. The weirdly affectionate physical contact between the two of them felt incredibly inappropriate, like I needed to go take a shower right away.

  “I’m sure we’ll run into him sooner or later,” he spoke quietly, and the lux giggled maliciously at his words. Suddenly, its eyes flew open and fixed me with a steely glare.

  “Why would you want Prince Declan when you have Prince Lantis by your side?”

  I assumed it was a rhetorical question, which was fine by me because I had no idea how to answer. Knowing Declan a few hours longer than Lantis, and without fully understanding either of their motives, I wasn’t very well-equipped with a logical answer.

  All I knew was that I needed Declan back in order to make any sense of what was happening.

  I had pretty much convinced myself that this whole situation wasn’t a bizarre dream, but as each new layer of weird added to the picture, I started to wonder again.

  “You think too much. Now that you’re here, you needn’t think at all.”

  The words didn’t make sense and weren’t very encouraging, although Lantis used the same calming tone he used on me earlier. While the lux ogled me and made little purring noises as Lantis continued to stroke its hair, I frowned, trying to figure out what else I could say to get him to divulge something.

  Declan had said I was the hope of Faerie, or at least of some of the people, or creatures, here. It was a play on my human name, like my parents, or the people I thought were my parents all of my life, had known that I was important somewhere, for some reason.

  But what could I possibly do to help anyone when I didn’t understand why I was taken away as a baby, and what I was supposed to do now that I was here?

  Another scream interrupted the lux’s satisfied noises, but stopped just as quickly, and without thinking, I tried to extract my hand from Lantis’s arm.

  “Are you jealous?” His gaze slid over to me as he lifted his hand from the lux and returned it to my own, squeezing his arm a bit to make sure I couldn’t get away easily.

  “Will you bring it to her?” The lux asked, leaning close to Lantis and speaking as if he hadn’t addressed me only a second before.

  It was me, and her had to be the she mentioned before.

  If only all these pronouns were my only problem.

  “Let’s all be reasonable, shall we?”

  Lantis’s thin smile revealed his equally thinning patience, and while I forced myself to allow him to hold onto me, as if I wasn’t on the verge of totally freaking out, the lux was eagerly awaiting the answer to its question.

  Its eyes had grown huge, as if its childlike appearance had reverted even further back to an infantile largeness of its features. I felt a compulsion to stare at the two of them as the seconds ticked by like a bomb waiting to explode.

  Right in my face.

  The flowers and leafy vines around me would be a better bet for a view that would calm me and help me refocus my thinking and efforts, I decided, and glanced behind my two companions into the pathway beyond.

  Maybe it was darker because it grew distant and seemed endless, but there was something about it that made me even more nervous, defeating the purpose of my attention to it. Had the screams come from the end of the path, or somewhere along the way?

  Or maybe not down the path at all, but somewhere else in Faerie.

  Was there another way out of this part of it, except to follow the path, trusting Lantis to steer me to safety?

  It suddenly occurred to me that he hadn’t actually assured me of a safe arrival to anywhere, only that he would deliver me to the place where I belonged.

  Just as Declan had promised.

  Was I as helpful to Faerie dead as I would be alive? It was a definite possibility.

  “It's not very smart, is it? But its hair is so very shiny!”

  I was shocked from my gut-churning chain of thought by the sight of the lux’s tiny, sharp-nailed fingers reaching out to me, and fought the urge to back away.

  Both of them had to know that I was afraid, but I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of a visible display of fear. If Lantis didn’t care that I was damaged in any way, I’d find out when the lux actually touched me and how he reacted.

  The lux’s smile was hideously thrilled, but just before I thought she was going to shove her finely honed nails into my neck, she lifted a chunk of my hair and let it slide through her small, pale fingers.

  I watched the golden strands fall back against my shoulder, still unsure if she was going to stab me. Or bite me. Or cause other harm in some painfully violent manner.

  “Now, now. Let’s not frighten the merchandise.”

  Lantis’s voice was full of satisfaction, as if he had organized this little demonstration for his own entertainment. As much as I struggled to hide my discomfort, he must have noticed, even if the lux was too absorbed in her fascination with my hair.

  I would be fascinated with it myself if I wasn’t largely occupied with trying to find out where Declan was, and second on the list of questions that had been building up in my mind for at least eight hours, exactly why I was so important to Faerie.

  If I was born here and was a fairy or some other Faerie creature, that would be one thing. But how important could that be?

  No, something else was going on, and Declan’s repeated declarations about my value and my name, as well as Lantis’s attention to me made that clear.

  The lux, aside from being creepily attentive, had also noted how upset she would be, so there was that.

  I kept going over it, the little I knew so far, in my mind, trying to figure out what to make of it. Had I missed a connection somewhere, a clue that Declan might have dropped, knowingly or unknowingly, that would help me piece together enough information to find my way to him.

  Or to wherever I belonged.

  Maybe he would be there waiting for me when I arrived.

  “The dreamseer! She’s returned!”

  A chime of childlike voices, realistic rather than sickly sweet like that of the lux, rose from the path behind me, but before I could turn to see who it was, Lantis pulled on
my arm. Hard.

  I nearly fell face first on the pebbled path, but he reached out and grabbed my other arm to stop me from falling. My natural inclination to thank him halted in my throat as I realized that the words I had just heard were very familiar.

  dreamseer, return

  My notes from class this morning. Or rather, what I had written down in place of those notes.

  When I looked up into Lantis’s face, the ingratiating grin was gone, replaced by a wide-eyed loathing. Had I caught him displaying his true feelings for me, or for the delicate yet urgent chant that continued behind my back?

  Chapter Five

  Lantis’s smile returned, but it was half-hearted. The two of us had locked eyes briefly but enough for him to realize that I had seen his well-crafted mask fall.

  “Come, we have no time to dally,” he barked, startling the lux and pulling me forward with both hands. This was more than a little awkward, and I struggled against him.

  The tiny voices behind me began to squeal as the lux hissed, racing past me as I pulled as hard as I could against Lantis’s strength.

  “Let me go!” I finally yelled in his face, effectively destroying any chance of getting more information from him by playing nice. I couldn’t let the lux get to the voices calling out the words I had been subconsciously scribbling in class earlier in the day.

  As much as I questioned Lantis’s motives, I felt no reason to do so for whoever had called me back, although Declan’s part in my return left me with some questions unanswered.

  “Your precious guide will be waiting, and you would have him wait for these insignificant little beings? Your heart is too tender for the work set before you.”

  What in the world did that mean?

  With my feet planted as firmly as I could on the tiny pebbles along the path, I leaned back and yanked my hands from his grasp again, not thinking that doing so would give him an advantage.