Tier Trilogy: Books 1-3

by Cindy Gunderson

  This morning, I sit in a chair, reading training materials. Movement beyond the front window catches my eye and I recognize Nick walking up the steps. Before I have time to react, the bell rings, and I answer it.

  “Hey Kate, how are you doing this week?”

  I respond honestly. “I am okay. I have kept busy with the boys, so I haven’t had a lot of down time to think about things.”

  “Have you talked with Eric? Do you know what you plan to do moving forward?”

  “No. I think I’m going to talk to Shari about having a day of closure, though. I think that would help me and the boys move on.” I motion for him to come in and distract myself by putting the dishes away.

  “Do the boys suspect anything?”

  “They have noticed their Dad isn’t around, but I think they are definitely expecting him to come back at some point. We need to sit down and discuss it. I don’t think I can do that without Eric—”

  A plate slips from my grasp and hits the floor, shattering. Nick and I both jump out of the way, then survey the damage. I apologize, reaching into the closet for a broom.

  “Here, let me help,” he says, offering to take it.

  “It’s alright,” I say, beginning to sweep up the shards. This is one thing I can actually fix, and I need to do it. As I sweep, I continue.

  “I have been feeling like they need to see Eric and know that he loves them, that it’s not their fault. I still don’t know how they are going to take it.” Saying these words, as I sweep up pieces of shattered glass, triggers something in me and I am overwhelmed with emotion. Nick notices and navigates the hazardous conditions to kneel next to me on the floor. He wraps me in his arms and I sink into him, noticing the strength of his chest, his soft shirt, and a slight scent of ginger. I close my eyes and breathe.

  “I’m sorry, Kate,” he says softly. Pulling back, I see the genuine concern on his face. Being next to him makes my body ache for Eric. For closeness. Not for the first time today, I feel anger and frustration well up inside of me.

  Bentley walks in and sees Nick. He begins running toward us.

  “Stop!” I shout, hand outstretched. Thankfully Bentley freezes and I am able to clear the floor before he insists on greeting us both with a hug.

  “Hey bud! You ready to go? Is Tal coming with us?” Nick says, ruffling his hair. Ah. That’s why Nick is here. I had completely forgotten.

  “Tal doesn’t want to swim. He is going to play frisbee with Stephen and Liz,” Bent replies.

  “They should be here in a few minutes to pick him up,” I say, grinning at Bent, pretending I have everything under control.

  “Kate, do you have plans? Want to come with?” Nick asks with a hopeful grin.

  My stomach drops. This was not in my plan for the day, nor do I want to show any more skin around Nick than is absolutely necessary. Arms. Arms are good.

  “Mom?” Bentley’s voice brings me back to reality.

  “Ummm...not sure, bud,” I hedge, trying to compose a response, but it is not happening fast enough to avoid awkwardness. Bent’s pleading eyes soften my heart.

  “I would love to come with you, but I do need to prepare some files for tomorrow,” I say, recognizing that it is an extremely weak excuse as the words leave my lips.

  “I could help you with that when we get back,” Nick offers, grinning.

  Bentley’s face lights up at the prospect. “Can you come now, Mom?” he asks pulling on my hands.

  “Okay, okay, I’ll come,” I laugh, wondering how hard it would be to quickly ‘lose’ my swimsuit.

  We arrive at the lake to find perfect weather. Just hot enough to make the water feel relaxing, but not chilly. Already dressed in our suits and having preemptively applied skincare, Bentley darts toward the water. Nick pulls off his shirt and races after him, while I set our snacks and water bottles on the picnic table. I can’t help but notice the perfect curves of his muscles. I am shameless as I stare in Nick’s direction.

  I don’t know what has gotten into me. Am I that desperate to see a man with his shirt off? I guess it has been over a month. And, I remind myself, I should actually be fostering this attraction. It will hopefully help me move forward with this new normal, I guess? I cringe, still feeling dirty all over, despite my rationalizations.

  Then, Bentley is waving for me to join them in the water. I sigh, pull off my wrap, and bravely walk toward them, knowing there is no perfect musculature here.

  “Mom, will you throw this ball for me to go get and bring back? Throw it far, otherwise it will be boring,” Bentley shouts as I get within earshot.

  I laugh and take the ball from his outstretched hand, throwing it far to the right. Bentley immediately starts toward it. He is a great swimmer, due to the physical conditioning he did last year. Last year, his skill focuses were swimming and climbing, and it has obviously payed off. It’s impressive to see such a small body move through the water so effortlessly.

  “Thanks for letting me come along,” I say, looking Nick’s direction. “It’s been a while since I have come here. I forgot how nice it is to feel the water and sun on my skin. And to watch Bentley swim. I needed this today.”

  “So, you’re not mad that I wouldn’t let you get out of it?” He grins, splashing a little water my way.

  “Not mad,” I admit, smiling. “Was it that obvious?”

  “Yes,” he says, and I splash him back.

  Bentley returns with the ball, and this time Nick throws it even farther in the opposite direction. I wriggle my toes into the soft mud and notice a few minnows swimming around my ankles. When Bentley gets bored of his game, I am sure he will try to catch them.

  Something grazes my hand and I glance down to see Nick’s fingers interlacing with my own. My heart speeds up, but I don’t pull away. I look up at him, but he is completely engaged in watching Bentley attempting to catch the ball. I stand there, the water lapping coolly against my thighs, my hand in his. As soon as Bentley finds his prize and begins to turn back, Nick gives my hand a squeeze and pulls away. He silently makes a show of cheering in support of his win, and then starts toward Bent, who takes off as fast as he can. I smile as I watch them play tag for awhile, my hand still tingling.

  Chapter 30

  Later that night, after Nick has gone home, I call Shari.

  “You don’t need me to come deal with another crisis, do you?” she says dryly.

  I laugh. “No, but thanks for the vote of confidence.”

  “What’s up?” she grins.

  “I have been thinking a lot about moving forward. I just don’t see the boys getting through this well without having some closure with Eric. I think we need to set something up. I think I will talk with them tomorrow, and then maybe we could all meet together at the end of next week? Or do you think we should do it sooner?”

  “I think it will depend on when Eric is available. I will send a message over there right now. What are you going to tell the boys?”

  “Just the facts. That Dad made an amazing discovery and that we all have to sacrifice to allow him to follow that path. He loves them, but he can’t be with us. We are all sacrificing so that humankind can benefit. I know it’s cliche, but does that sound appropriate?”

  “I think so. Are you going to tell them about Nick? And what did you decide about reversal therapy?”

  “I don’t think I am going to say anything about Nick yet. They will need to process this awhile before we get to that point.”

  “You don’t have awhile.”

  “I thought about that, too,” I say, without thinking. “Wait, what do you mean?”

  “You know what I mean, Kate.”

  I guess we aren’t pulling punches anymore. She must know that I am aware of the details of the situation. Does that mean that Eric talked with her?

  “Would it be possible for us to pair and not...live in the same house right away? Do people do that?” I ask, hesitantly.

  “Not usually. I’m sure you can imagine the s
train that puts on a relationship.”

  I nod. “Maybe I will have to talk to them sooner rather than later.” I pick up an apple and take a bite. “I will definitely have the kids do their first reversal session after we meet with Eric. Who would help me set that up?”

  “I can take care of it,” Shari says. “What about for you?”

  “Not yet. I don’t feel good about it. I might grieve longer or harder, but Nick is a compassionate guy. I think he will understand, and I can’t—I can’t bear the thought of forgetting any part of Eric,” I say, not willing to openly admit that I’m doing this for him. I can’t give that knowledge up.

  “Up to you. And if it gets too hard, you can always reconsider,” she says.

  I am sure I won’t. “I’m really tired, so I think I will head to bed. Thanks for helping me with this.”

  “My pleasure,” she says, giving a fake curtsy.

  My smile is purely out of social obligation. It feels like I just put the nail in the coffin for me and Eric, and the finality of it is hitting me.

  “Will you let me know what day works? I want to make sure the boys are prepared,” I choke out.

  “Sure, hon. Sleep well.” Shari signs off with a wave and an image with a heart appears on my display. She might not say it, but she knows how hard this is for me. I really am exhausted. I wash my face, change out of my clothes, and drop into bed.

  The next morning, I continue to push through our regular routine, and we all prepare for physical conditioning. Historically, this is something that Eric would take charge of, but today it’s up to me. I get our water bottles and make sure we have a protein-rich breakfast, then initiate our ride to the park near the community center. Today we will be working on balance and ligament strength. Not my strongest area.

  When we arrive, we see slack lines strung between trees at varying heights. While I am slightly nervous, Tal is practically bouncing off of his seat. He parks his bike and runs toward the nearest line that isn’t already occupied. I move to check in with the site director. It’s Shandra, a friend I haven’t seen in months.

  “How are you doing?” I ask warmly, embracing her. “It’s been a while since we had an assignment together.”

  “I know. I have mostly been running physical conditioning these days, so I don’t see anyone anymore!” She scans my sensor. This initial scan will give a baseline for the session.

  “It’s our loss. Do you enjoy it?” I ask.

  “I love it. I also get to work with new Tier 1 initiates. I actually worked with someone you know last week. Cassidy?”

  “Yes! We got together just the other day.”

  “It seems like she is transitioning really well. She is working hard and appears happy.”

  “She is one of my favorites.”

  “She is quickly becoming one of mine, as well,” she agrees. “It’s so good to see you, Kate.”

  “You too.” I smile as I walk over to the boys. My service assignments have allowed me to draw close to such high quality individuals, and I love being reminded of that.

  Bentley is attempting to get on the line without falling, while Tal can already take a few steps. I stand next to them and offer a hand. After a few passes, Tal can do it almost all the way across without my help.

  “Is Dad ever coming home?” Bent asks, taking me by surprise.

  “We are actually going to meet with him soon,” I say, trying not to give away the seriousness of the situation.

  “Why do we need to meet? Can’t he just come home?” I should have used a different phrase.

  “We need to make some decisions as a family. You guys remember seeing Dad’s work at the lab, right? He is working so much and it isn’t going to slow down anytime soon.”

  “Why do they need him? Why is it so important?” Tal asks.

  “It’s important because if they get this right—if they can use the pairs they have found to successfully create the allele matches that Dad discovered—it could start us on the path to eliminating really deadly types of cancer.”

  “The kind that Grandma died of?” Bentley says.

  “Yes, the kinds that all of your grandparents died of. We don’t have many disease markers in Tier 1 anymore, but this is a huge one. If we can start cleaning this genetically, in a couple hundred years, it won’t be an issue anymore.”

  “But what about for all of us right now? It doesn’t really help us,” Tal says haughtily. “We just have to give up time with Dad. And probably still die of cancer.”

  I respond, pretending I didn’t notice the attitude. “True. But we don’t make decisions simply based on what is good for us. You know how that turned out over and over again for our predecessors. It never worked. Society was repeatedly driven to destruction with that mentality. We have to be better than that. We have to be willing to sacrifice for the greater good. And, as far as we are concerned, our lives are pretty great, don’t you think?” I help Bentley step on to the line.

  Tal sighs. “I guess. Sorry, Mom. I just really miss Dad.”

  “I know. I do, too. I don’t want to sacrifice this either, but I know it’s right. When we meet with Dad, we can explain more.”

  “Are we ever going to be a family again?” Bentley asks, causing my throat to constrict. I let his question hang in the air and just keep holding his hand.

  Chapter 31

  Shari contacts me to confirm details the next day. Eric is helping with training in Centennial, about two hours south of us. Erie, our community, is located in one of the original safe zones. Once the initial Crisis was over, there was no longer a need for the people living here to be quarantined. Though some of them potentially could have applied to return to their homes, it would have been costly and difficult to do so. They had built lives here. Our population was still so small that it didn’t make sense to try to rebuild outlying neighborhoods; it would only have made it less efficient to deliver supplies.

  Once our population began to grow and people were less hesitant about stepping outside of the safe zone boundaries, the Berg committee began to organize supply chains reaching beyond our limits. They utilized old buildings and structures, developed ancient farm and ranch lands, treated water supplies, and began to make new communities not only habitable, but desirable. Centennial is one I have never been to.

  I suddenly feel desperately jealous that they get Eric’s attention when I don’t. Shari confirms that he will be available for a meeting with us next Thursday, which means I will see Eric in less than a week. My stomach flips.

  I jump full force into my tasks at home, trying to keep my mind off that meeting. Being around Nick is a great distraction, too, especially in the evenings. He eats dinner with us almost every night, and I see the boys clamoring for his attention. They miss their father desperately, though they don’t complain. Not consciously, anyway. Tal has definitely been more moody than usual.

  Watching him change makes me wonder if I’m ready to handle the new stages that are coming for him. Every time my children progress into a developmental phase, I realize how important our mentors are. It is invaluable to have insights from other males, so much closer to my boys’ ages. I spoke with Stephen the other day and had my eyes opened to a few teenage boy thought processes. Slightly disturbing, to say the least, but it helped.

  The boys are at conditioning this afternoon, so I am preparing files and cleaning up around the house. I hear a knock at the door and wonder if I’ve forgotten something else. I already know it’s Nick; who else would randomly stop by? I haven’t really been putting forth much effort to build friendships lately—new or existing. Even our usual friends don’t really reach out now that Eric isn’t around. I guess it would be kind of strange for them to invite me, alone, over for dinner or a walk.

  I open the door and see Nick standing there with his hands in his pockets. He isn’t smiling as widely as usual and I can tell something is off.

  “Hey Nick, come on in.” I open the door wide.

  “Actually, I wa
s hoping I could take you...out.”

  “Out?”

  “Like for lunch. On a date.”

  He is nervous. His hands still haven’t made an appearance and he is shuffling his feet. Suddenly, his energy rubs off on me. So far, I have been able to remain in the companion zone with Nick. I knew it couldn’t last forever, though a part of me really hoped it would.

  “Sure. That would be fun. I have until four o’clock, when the boys are done for the day. What were you thinking?”

  “I know you and Shari love that cafe downtown. I have never been. Could we go there, or would it be overkill for you?”

  “Not overkill. That sounds great.” I pause. “Like, now?”

  He laughs. “Yes, like, now. We can take my car.”

  I put my work away, slip on my shoes, and follow him to the car. Once inside, I type in the destination. The Old Mine. They got the name from a sign, a relic from society before Berg took over. I am sure some people would have liked a different name, but since the sign was there and still working, it didn’t make sense to switch it. The management, cook staff, and servers all rotate every few months. That type of work isn’t ideal for Tier 1. But, the community as a whole values being able to go out to eat every once in a while, so we have quite a few restaurants on our side of the city. People take breaks from other service appointments to work there. I had a stint back before Eric and I paired. It was a nice respite from training, honestly.

  “How was your morning?” I ask, leaning back into my seat.

  “I actually did some health training today.”

  “Just regular training, or was it something special?”

  “My mentor and I were tweaking some things based on my most recent scan. I need more magnesium in my diet, and I need to focus more on balancing the muscle strength in my upper body.”