Invisible, as Music

by Caren J. Werlinger

  Ryn nodded solemnly. “Yes, she is.” She glanced down at the sign on the woman’s desk. “Beverly. Could you point me to my office?”

  Beverly got to her feet, and Ryn realized she must have had her desk chair cranked to its highest position, because she was hardly taller standing than she had been sitting. She reminded Ryn even more of a bird as she led the way with short, staccato steps. Down the corridor, around the corner to… what looked like a converted broom closet. A desk and chair and one bookshelf had been crammed inside, but there was a window overlooking the hills beyond the campus. The bookshelf already contained what she recognized as the textbooks she’d be teaching from.

  “You should have had Professor Aldren’s old desk, but he shared an office with Professor Geary, and Dr. Talbert thought you’d prefer being by yourself.”

  Beverly peered up into Ryn’s face, searching as if trying to make up her mind about something. She crooked her finger, and Ryn leaned down obligingly. “I shouldn’t say this,” Beverly whispered. “I mean, I just met you, but you’re the only other woman in the department, and a young one at that. Stay away from Professor Geary. He has a reputation as…” She blushed. “Well, he likes the girls. The younger, the better.”

  Her flared nostrils and pursed lips indicated just what Beverly thought of Professor Geary.

  Ryn grinned. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” She nodded toward her cubby. “And thank Dr. Talbert for me. I appreciate both of you thinking of me that way.”

  “Oh, well.” Beverly blushed and smiled. “You’re most welcome. I’ll leave you to set your office up as you like. I’m sure you’ll want to get started on the classes you’ll be teaching. I’ve placed the current syllabi on your desk. If you need anything, just ask. Professor.”

  Beverly’s heels clicked away down the corridor, and Ryn dropped into her office chair, twirling around. She ran her hands through her short hair with a happy sigh. She was here. Her first teaching job. At a Catholic school in the middle-of-nowhere New York. But it was a start.

  “Thank you, Goddess.”

  “And wait until you see the way this new floor cleaner works on the kitchen floor. I hope you don’t mind I went ahead and bought some to use here. I know how you like everything to be spic and span. But don’t worry, I know it can’t be too slippery for your crutches. Oh, and wait until you hear what my sister told me about the college!”

  Normally, Bonnie’s non-stop chatter on Wednesdays irked Henrietta, who considered her cleaning day a wasted day as far as getting any painting done. But the silence in the house since Amanda’s departure had been so oppressive that Henrietta had taken to leaving the television or the radio on just to have some noise.

  Bonnie really was a God-send, a tiny whirlwind of a woman who gave Henrietta a full day’s work—dusting, vacuuming, stripping and laundering the sheets and remaking the bed—all the things Henrietta couldn’t easily do for herself anymore. If Bonnie talked a bit too much, well, it was a small price to pay for having someone who didn’t leave after a few months. While Bonnie gabbed, Henrietta paid bills and balanced the checkbook—things she could do with only one ear tuned to the conversation.

  Henrietta paused in the middle of writing the check for the gas company. “How long have you been with me now?”

  Bonnie straightened from where she’d been mopping the kitchen floor with the new cleaner. “Let’s see, Miss Cochran. It must be going on twelve years. Yes, it is. Because I remember Kevin was just starting junior high school when I decided to take on work. Twelve years. Can you believe it?”

  And she continued chattering about all that had happened in those twelve years as she resumed mopping and telling what she’d heard about old Patrick Rooney, who had gotten drunk as a skunk at the bingo hall at St. Rita’s, not noticing that Henrietta had stopped writing.

  Twelve years. How was that even possible? Henrietta stared at the framed painting above the desk—one of her finest, in her opinion—a view of the house from the hill on the other side of the pond, a view she hadn’t seen in person since the day she sketched it for this oil.

  She might as well have painted herself into the composition—a figure stuck in one place for all time, never leaving the confines of her house. It wasn’t technically true, of course. She went to church most Sundays, and the country club for bridge on Thursday mornings. But when was the last time she’d gone anywhere unscheduled?

  “Bonnie,” she called. “Maybe we could—”

  She was interrupted by the doorbell at the back door into the breezeway between the kitchen and the garage.

  “That’s Denny with the groceries,” Bonnie said, going to let him in.

  The young man from the grocery store carried three boxes of groceries into the pantry, just as he did every Wednesday. He called out a good day to Henrietta, taking care not to walk on Bonnie’s still-damp floor.

  Bonnie waved him off and brought the receipt to Henrietta. “I’ll make us some sandwiches for lunch and get a nice roast going for your dinner. How does that sound?”

  Henrietta nodded absently. The grocery receipt was itemized, listing the same items as it did every week. The same food. The same routine. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually set foot in the market. It was easier to stick with her staples since the market staff was boxing it up for her. The only surprises were the seasonal changes in fruits and vegetables. She hadn’t any idea what new products might even be on the shelves. Only when Bonnie or one of her friends brought her something new they’d discovered did she try foods that might or might not make it onto the list.

  The afternoon passed as most Wednesdays did. She stretched out on the sofa after lunch to rest her back and maybe nap a little while Bonnie cleaned the bedrooms and bathrooms. The aroma of the roast in the oven started to fill the house.

  By four o’clock, Bonnie had dinner served—Henrietta always ate early on cleaning days. The rest of the tender meat, potatoes, and carrots were packed into the refrigerator in small serving containers that Henrietta could lift with one hand to warm up over the next few evenings.

  “Thank you, Bonnie.”

  Bonnie, washing the roasting pan at the sink, stopped with a shocked expression. The surprise on her face shamed Henrietta. Was it so rare for her to say thank you?

  “You’re most welcome, Miss Cochran.”

  Bonnie dried the last of the dishes, putting them away before getting her purse. “Are you sure you’re all right here by yourself?”

  Henrietta got to her feet, slipping her hands into the cuffs on her crutches. “It’s only been a couple of weeks. I’ll find someone soon.”

  Bonnie opened her mouth as if to say something further but then just nodded. “I’ll see you next Wednesday then.” She opened her purse and inserted the check Henrietta had written when she was paying the other bills.

  “Have a good week.”

  Henrietta stood at the door while Bonnie backed out of the drive. It looked like a nice evening. The undulating fairways and greens of the golf course, empty of golfers, looked pretty in the slanting sunlight, long shadows being thrown by the trees. She considered walking out to the end of the driveway just to stretch her legs. She gave the storm door a shove and then propped it open with one crutch while she stepped over the threshold onto the covered front porch, its two comfortable chairs freshly dusted by Bonnie earlier that morning.

  But what if she fell? Who would see? Who would help? She backed up, letting the storm door close before pushing the front door shut. For a moment, she leaned against it, her heart hammering in her chest. With a flick of her wrist, she fastened the locks.

  “Time for your tea, milady.”

  Ryn had discovered that she and Beverly shared a liking for tea and a dislike of coffee. Beverly had a hot plate that could make water hot enough, and Ryn had brought in a tin of exotic teas. Of course, anything not bearing a Lipton tag was exotic to Beverly. Ryn had decided not to tell her that Celestial Seasonings could be purchased at the
health food store downtown.

  “What would you fancy today?” Ryn asked, putting on her best British accent, which was just a bad imitation of an English butler.

  Beverly giggled. “Surprise me.”

  Ryn produced two bags of Red Zinger and placed them in the mugs while Beverly poured. Ryn dropped into the wooden chair beside Beverly’s desk and closed her eyes as she inhaled the aromatic steam from the mug.

  “How are your classes going, Professor?” Beverly asked, dunking her teabag up and down.

  Whatever her misgivings had been upon their first meeting, Beverly had finally accepted Ryn’s position, even if she still eyed a woman in pants with suspicion. Still, after Ryn had scandalized her by asking if she could teach in jeans and T-shirt, Beverly seemed satisfied that the khakis were at least presentable.

  “I’ve told you to call me Ryn, or I’ll be forced to call you Ms. DiSorbo.” Ryn opened her eyes and wrung out her teabag.

  “I’ll try, Prof—I’ll call you by your Christian name, Meryn.” Beverly looked a little taken aback at her daring.

  “Good enough.” Ryn wagged her head to one side. “Seeing as how September 1st was just yesterday, and today is Friday of Labor Day weekend, classes are going spectacularly. All two days of them thus far.” She took a sip. “The kids are nice. Respectful. But I still want to teach more than just the seminar classes. Has Dr. Talbert said anything more about the class I suggested on the history of American women?”

  Beverly glanced over her shoulder toward his office—though it was clearly empty—and leaned forward to whisper, “I heard him mention it to Professor Geary.”

  Ryn frowned. “Why would he do that? It was my idea. If that guy—”

  She stopped abruptly when Beverly’s eyes opened wide, staring past Ryn to the office door.

  “Hello, lovely ladies.”

  Ryn stiffened as Bradley Geary came into Beverly’s office.

  “Tea time? May I join you?” He laid a casual hand on Ryn’s shoulder.

  She resisted the urge to break his fingers, instead bending down to pick up an imaginary bit of trash off the floor. She stood to drop it in the trashcan behind the desk.

  “Sorry, just used the last two bags.”

  She met his gaze, knowing he didn’t believe her, but she didn’t care. The guy was even creepier than Beverly had intimated. Once handsome, she supposed, with his sandy hair and toothy grin, he was used to getting his way by lying and smiling and charming people, especially women. In truth, he was a lazy ass. She hadn’t been here more than a week, but Ryn could already see that, with his tenure secure, he intended to dump as much work on her as he could get away with.

  “I need to…” Ryn picked up her tea mug, leaving the sentence incomplete and hurried past Geary and out to the corridor beyond.

  She didn’t look back to see if Geary was following her to her office, but she heard Beverly ask him a question to detain him, and thanked her lucky stars for Beverly DiSorbo. The woman might be tiny, but she saw everything. Ryn was glad to have her as an ally. She had a feeling she was going to need allies if she had to keep dealing with that male chauvinist pig.

  Her classes were done for the week, so she quickly grabbed a few books, locked her office, and nearly ran out of the building. The afternoon was beautiful—sunny, pleasantly warm with an almost cloudless sky. A few students lounged about on the quad, but most were leaving campus for Labor Day.

  She made her way back to the boarding house. Parking on campus was tight, so Nelly had spent most of the week parked on the curb. She gave the car a pat on her way by.

  “I promise we’ll go for a drive this weekend.”

  Upstairs, thankfully with no sign of Vanessa, Ryn changed her clothes, carefully hanging her khakis and shirt to keep them as wrinkle-free as possible. After tugging on some jean shorts, her high-tops, and a T-shirt, she went downstairs and found Mrs. Middleston sitting in a rocker on the front porch, snapping a large bowl of green beans.

  “How are things going?” the older woman asked.

  “Pretty well.” Ryn sat on the porch. “My classes aren’t very challenging yet, but I hope to add more interesting ones next semester.”

  She hooked a thumb toward the rear of the house. “What’s out that way?”

  “Away from the village? Not much. The country club, a few houses, and then mostly farms.”

  “And how far are we from Syracuse?”

  “Oh, not an hour. Bored, are you?”

  Mrs. Middleston’s sharp eyes were focused on her beans, but Ryn had the feeling she still saw more than most.

  “Not bored. Just wondered is all.” She stood and dusted off the seat of her cut-offs. “Think I’ll go for a walk. See you later.”

  “Remember the curfew’s eleven tonight,” Mrs. Middleston called after her.

  Ryn gave a wave to show she’d heard and set off down the block, turning away from town when she got to the corner.

  She sauntered along, taking random roads, confident she’d be able to find her way back. Nothing around here was big enough to get truly lost in. She found a road that stretched into the distance, lined with large trees whose branches overarched the street, shading it from the westering sun. A street sign told her she was on Country Club Road, and she could see the golf course stretching out to her left, miles of manicured grass and undulating hills, the holes separated by more mature trees.

  A noise from the house on her right distracted her. The garage was open, with a station wagon parked inside. A figure seemed to be struggling with the door. She paused, watching a woman with crutches get out of the car and make her way around to the rear hatch where she was trying to pull out what appeared to be grocery bags.

  Ryn jogged down the driveway. “May I help you?”

  The woman started and gave a little yelp as one bag tumbled to the ground, its contents scattered all over the garage floor.

  “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “I didn’t hear you,” the woman said.

  Ryn got on her hands and knees, gathering up assorted cans and packages of food, almost lying on the garage floor to retrieve the cans that had rolled under the car. She stood up, holding the shredded paper sack. “The bag is ripped.” Her arms cradled the items. “Can I take these straight inside for you?”

  The woman looked up at her, fixing her with steel-gray eyes that were cautious as she stood, balanced on her two crutches, both legs locked into metal braces. Ryn smiled, trying to seem disarming.

  A can of something slipped out of her arms. She ducked, trying to catch it, but everything in her grasp clattered to the floor.

  “Crap!” She glanced at the woman. “Sorry,” she muttered as she squatted down to pick it all up again.

  “Wait,” the woman said. She pointed with one crutch toward a set of shelves against the garage wall. “Get one of those baskets.”

  Ryn did as she asked, placing all of the groceries in a rattan yard basket probably meant for hauling leaves. She followed the woman through the door into a small hallway and then into the kitchen.

  “I’ll get the other bag,” she said, hurrying back to the station wagon. She had no idea how that woman thought she was going to get this stuff into the house. Or how she drove the car. She closed the station wagon’s hatch and brought the bag into the kitchen.

  She placed the bag on the counter and then set out all of the things in the basket. “I’ll put this back.”

  She nested the basket with the others on the garage shelf and then hesitantly returned to the kitchen.

  “Can I help you with anything else? Put these away for you?”

  “No.” The woman turned to her, her crutches and braces making small metallic clicks with each step as she maneuvered. “I can take it from here. Thank you for your help.”

  “You’re welcome. Bye.”

  Ryn let herself back into the garage and trotted out to the street. Glancing toward the house, she saw the woman standing in the garage. Ryn gave a last
wave as the garage door started to lower.

  Chapter 2

  Henrietta’s stomach gurgled loudly, followed by a belch. She paused her painting to take a sip of ginger ale. Maybe the new foods she’d thought to experiment with hadn’t been such a good idea. Especially the Mexican. Too spicy for her stomach, which was proving to be more sensitive than she’d realized.

  What she hadn’t been prepared for was the firestorm her last-minute stop at the market had caused. She’d just been driving by and decided to pull in and do a little shopping. Why should that have created such a stir? But by that evening, Mike MacGregor, the owner of the market, had called to see if there was a problem with Denny’s delivery, or had the boy been rude, or had he delivered the groceries in less-than-satisfactory condition. And the next morning, poor Denny himself had come to her door, shuffling from foot to foot and apologizing if he’d done anything wrong. Even Bonnie had come by Saturday afternoon to see if she was all right, or if there was something wrong with the leftover roast she’d cooked up on Wednesday.

  After reassuring everyone that there was nothing wrong with the market’s service or Denny’s delivery or Bonnie’s cooking, Henrietta had retreated to her studio.

  Even at church this morning, people had stopped to ask if she was all right. It was comforting in a way that so many people were watching out for her, but Henrietta felt more boxed in than ever, when even a change in her food shopping habits was enough to get the entire village’s attention.

  Giving up for the day, she cleaned her brushes.

  She left the studio and paused in the breezeway. Instead of turning toward the kitchen and the living room, she went to the back door. Stepping through it, she was greeted by a glorious September evening. She sniffed. Someone was grilling something. The driveway stretched before her, looking much longer than the fifty feet or so it actually was. That young woman who had helped her pick up her groceries had jogged it so effortlessly. Henrietta dreamed sometimes of what it had felt like to run and skip and play, but she couldn’t really remember.