by A O Storm
"When was the last time you had to deal with bratty three year olds?" he shouted, twisting, holding the sword and connecting with the ogre bear's neck as it sought to bite him in two.
Kano swung for all he was worth, the pain in his thigh blazing a hot trail against his vision and preventing him from focusing too much on the blow. Kano put everything he had into the timing and, luckily, the ogre bear had thinner skin below its jaw. The sword sliced deep and a horizontal, crimson spray gushed forth.
The ogre beast’s maw came down faster as it fell with a thud, nearly crushing him. Blood continued to spurt as the ogre beast started to frantically wave its front paws, crying out in agony.
"Wow," Kano said, spitting to the side, surreptitiously wiping his face of the beast's lifeblood. Moving slowly, his leg useless, he crawled away from the prone beast. It seemed defeated, but he knew appearances could be inaccurate.
"Really," Kano said, achieving a kneeling position just outside the creature’s reach, "I'd say I'm sorry, but my leg is seriously messed up." He slammed the sword again and again into the creature, only stopping when he was sure it was no longer twitching. Somehow, despite the severity of his injuries, Kano found the strength to use the weapon, slashing at it until he was certain it had bled out beyond salvation.
While slumping in exhaustion, Kano finally heard what he had refused to acknowledge until then. The roar of the crowd. "Kano," some shouted, others, "Giant-slayer!" A few others shouted the euphemistic, "Beast-master!"
Kano knew an eighties action movie title when he heard one and ignored the rest of the varied shouts from the arena afterwards, save one. The noble who had called out earlier started to gesture to the crowd as Kano looked in his direction. They gradually stopped shouting and thousands of eyes watched as Kano stood, bloody, listening intently to the drunken noble.
"Are you not entertained?" he shouted, sloshing his cup once more. "This man," he gestured to Kano, "has done what the Gods foretold, completing the challenges against man and beast alike." He paused dramatically, swaying on his feat and gesturing unsteadily around the arena. Kano knew that this man, whatever his title, was powerful enough that he was clearly the HIPPO he needed to worry about. An extremely brief summer internship taught Kano a few corporate phrases like that which stuck in his head. The HIghest Paid Person's Opinion as an acronym was easy to remember and still made him chuckle a little, despite the pain of his injuries.
Since Kano knew larger companies in America were always fashioned after feudal European power structures of command and control, he was feeling slightly more comfortable with this strange onboarding as the noble continued his speech. The man continued, talking, rambling about how Kano surely was destined to triumph and other nonsense. Growing less coherent as the brief moment grew into minutes, Kano tuned him out. He shielded his eyes and looked up, hoping to catch the gaze of the blonde woman who'd been encouraging him earlier.
Then Kano remembered, sitting, laughing with his girlfriend only a week before the explosion. It was the last time he saw her, and the last text she sent him had one of those cute emojis in it. Rachel had been sitting next to him an Irish bar, smiling at him after they finished playing a game of pool. She’s moved on by now, Kano suspected. I can’t imagine her staying single for ten years, waiting for me. I hope everything works out well for her.
However as he searched the nobles' section for the intriguing woman, her seat was empty. "Drat," he muttered. "I was sure I could've gotten her number." Kano paused, smiling and chuckling to himself. "Or maybe not." Realizing phones probably didn't exist in a fantasy world, he started looking at the head noble again, curious what the man was saying.
"What?" Kano asked, surprised at what he saw.
The noble had frozen and the murmur of the crowd, a constant drone in the background, disappeared as well. Soon everyone in the stadium disappeared, leaving the deserted and suddenly quiet.
"Congratulations!" A bright LED light appeared out of nowhere, covering the blue cloudless sky above the arena. "You've unlocked the hero's bounty, only accessible by those who've defeated all three initial challenges."
The words scrolled across the sky, similar to movie credits, and Kano was impressed. The effects on a television screen were not that interesting, but seeing LED letters painted across a midday sky, scrolling as he read them, was intense.
As he read, a scroll started falling from the sky. “Weird,” Kano said, watching as the tightly wrapped parchment slowly fell. He had enough time to move his hand, catching the falling scroll. “I wonder what’s inside, must be the hero’s bounty I won.” He smiled, hopeful the item contained a powerful magic, or useful treasure map.
Untying the ribbon, he unrolled the scroll and started to read. The language was unfamiliar, full of runes, glyphs and strange symbols. He turned the scroll upside down, and it still liked like a computer error gone wrong. “What kind of joke is this?” He asked, irritated. Staring at the scroll for a moment, he considered throwing it away. Then he thought that would be a waste, as maybe somebody could decipher the scroll for him. “Some reward,” Kano said, kicking the dirt. He swiftly tied the ribbon back around the scroll and then stuffed it into the waistband of his pants, vowing to get a pack or bag when he could.
"Now, are you ready to enter the world of New Lands Online?"
"Ready to enter?" Kano chuckled. "Must be a bug, I'm already here." He looked around then noticed the arena was now gone, disappeared just like the people before.
"The arena you passed is a replica of the only new player entry point in the world, located in the city of Boon Peak, in the kingdom of Tropiana. Your case was special," the credits scrolled again. "Prepare yourself, Kano."
The sun went dark, the credits faded, and Kano saw a door had appeared in front of him in the middle of the arena. Darkness enveloped him and he looked around, unable to see anything other than the doorway, illuminated around the edges, as if there was light on the other side. An itching sensation started behind his eyes and Kano saw the icon for his character blinking.
Pausing his study of the door, Kano focused on the heads up display. It appeared in front of his vision again, partially obscuring the doorway, and Kano checked his stats. Sure enough, the ogre bear challenge had given him enough experience to level up again to level three. Hurting from the fight with the ogre bear, Kano hoped if he increased his stats before going through the door his injuries might be restored.
Available attribute points showed only ten this time for the level up. "Perhaps some kind of customization allowance for new players," Kano muttered to himself, considering how the last two times he'd been granted thirty. Given there were ten attributes in the game, Kano allocated them in an even spread this time, despite being uninterested in the beauty stat. The only reason Kano finally spent a point there was because in some games charisma or personality impacted relationships of every kind, not only love interests. People who had lower scores sometimes had negatives on purchasing goods, social encounters and similar.
Character name:
Kano
Profession:
(Blank)
Class:
(Blank)
Level:
3
Experience Points:
2,850
Next Level:
4,500
Energy Points (Max)
20 (40)
Health Points (Max):
50 (80)
Attributes and Scores
Physical
Score
Mental
Score
Strength
73
Intelligence
51
Speed
73
Wisdom
57
Endurance
73
Memory
57
Constitution
73
Magic
57
Beauty
61
Linguistics
&
nbsp; 51
Dismissing the screens after he spent the points, he sighed, having confirmed that both his health and his energy points were still drained from the fight. Rather than spend more time checking out the other menus, Kano simply made a mental note to check out more of the game interface when he had time.
"You ready for this? Buh-buh, ba-dada-dada," he sang quietly to himself. Kano could hear the song from Space Jam playing in his head when he walked toward the door.
"Not really, but after the...years? It's been awhile since apparently I had a life, I'm eager to get started on my new one." Kano stopped talking to himself and glanced down, feeling strange. “My wounds are gone,” he said, laughing, “Oh, that feels so much better.” Then he thought about it for a moment, it wouldn’t do for a new character to win the arena then show up in the game horribly maimed, or worse, right?
His clothing was torn, dirty and starting to feel crusty after his struggles. "They fixed my body but not my clothing?" Kano asked, incredulous. Didn’t fix my smell either, he realized, the odor of dead ogre bear and dried sweat making his stomach churn a little now that his injuries were no longer bothering him.
"Let's hope they have baths in this game," Kano said, opening the door and stepping through. When the door opened, despite the brightness on the other side, he could not make out any details. The arena had long since disappeared behind him, along with the prompts written in the sky, leaving behind only a featureless gray void.
Nine - Respite at the Inn
"Careful!"
The gruff voice surprised him and Kano stepped backwards, narrowly avoiding a tall, heavyset man carrying burlap sacks. He expected to go back through the doorway, however, when he moved nothing happened.
Somehow, Kano had stepped into a large, ten by twenty square room from the arena and he felt disoriented once again. The floors were uneven slabs of stone with a thin mortar, a light gray. The walls were a rough-hewn wood, dark brown, with a few lamps hanging from the large wooden ceiling beams. The place looked clean enough where the floor or the walls were visible amongst the clutter.
Sacks lined one wall, shelves with pots, pans and dishes another. The gruff voiced man walked past him and left via an open door and Kano saw the rest of the room was filled with barrels. Stacks and stacks of barrels. He assumed those must be beverages of some kind, just as the burlap sacks might be grains or perhaps flour. They had the right look, and next to the piles were small mounds of white powder and, looking closer, Kano saw oats had leaked, spilled on the floor. From the massive amount of foodstuffs, and then when he took in just how many pots, pans, and dishes lined the shelves, he guessed that the place was an inn of some kind. Turning in place, Kano tried to find the door he’d entered from, but the room only had one, where the man had left.
"Strange," Kano said, turning to examine the wall. He pressed his hands into the wood, a space free of shelving, and felt along the rough surface, trying to press it inwards, as if there were a hidden passage.
"I'm not sure how you ended up here," the same gruff voice said. Kano turned around and saw the man had returned from the other room, where he could hear some faint noise, like that of low conversations. "However, we don't allow drunks to use the store room to sleep it off."
"I wasn't sleeping," Kano said, annoyed, “and I’m not drunk.” The bearded man was not as tall as the giant he'd slain in the arena and with his large belly; Kano believed he could take the man in a fight if he needed. But Kano dismissed that line of thought as soon as he had it, probably get the local guard to throw me in jail if the first thing I do is start a fight.
Kano forced a smile and a hint of contrition into his tone. "Sorry, sir. I'm new."
Crossing his arms, the man made a humph sound. "You don't look new to me, kid, you look about twenty."
"Sorry, sir, I meant, new in town. I'm-" He paused. Did he want to use his real name? He couldn't think of a better one in that moment, so he decided to keep it simple. "I'm Kano."
“Woodward," the man grunted, holding out his hand. "Let me guess, you got lost looking for the pisser?" Woodward shook Kano's hand briefly and Kano felt the other man's strength, as well as his calluses. Kano knew those were not from merely hoisting burlap sacks.
Kano gave a chuckle. "Yes, you're right, I was looking for the restroom."
"Fair enough, happens sometimes. Most people just call me Bob, it's shorter." Bob thumbed over his shoulder. "Back to the common room and then go to the far wall, door looks like this one, but you'll see the latrine and drop spots."
"Drop Spots?"
The fat bellied man guffawed then, turning to walk back into the common room. "You know, it's where you drop off your load." Laughing a bit more, Bob continued, "Man, you must be from far away. You'll have to tell me about it after you use the pisser. I'll be behind the bar."
Kano followed the man out of the storeroom. As he did, Kano took in Bob’s attire, which was plain, rough looking earth colored pants and a lighter beige shirt. The shirt was long and flowing, with full-length sleeves, not too different from what Kano had seen at Renaissance fairs back home. One summer in high school a friend, Jack, who'd been way more into RPGs than Kano, had insisted they go to watch some of the sword fighting. The people attending the fair were dressed similar to what Bob was wearing. Smiling at the memory, Kano thought Jack would love this place if he could see it.
The conversations were muted slightly as Kano crossed the common room toward the other door, the few patrons seated at scattered tables watching him as he walked past. Kano ignored them, grateful for the chance to relieve his bladder and surprised again at the level of realism the developers had put into the game. His boots clacked loudly in the relative silence before Kano arrived at the far door and pushed it open.
Inside, Kano saw a long, narrow old school bathtub looking device, with a drain at one end. On the side, there was a row of seats, after a fashion, with no partition in between. Kano frowned, noting to drop one off was a communal event. While Kano did not know if it was historical to have dudes on either side of you crapping at the same time you were, to his American sensibilities, Kano was a bit disgusted at the idea that he'd be sitting next to somebody without at least a door or barrier.
Despite the bathroom being empty of people, the smell was another story.
Jokes from his family brought a tear to his eye as Kano emptied his bladder into the narrow tub and tried to ignore the odor. Chuckling to himself as he went, Kano recalled an especially bad dad joke where the old man claimed his crap could stun a whole stadium into silence. The arena battle wasn't the stadium his father had in mind and Kano pushed down the memory as he shook it off. Taylor Swift's song came to mind, ironically, as he did, the high pitch chorus of, "Shake it off," playing in his head.
Tucking his ruined shirt into his pants and washing up from a hand pump, Kano took a deep breath and thought about what story he might use to explain where he was from. Bob had figured out quickly Kano was not from the area. Unable to come up with anything coherent, Kano decided to wing it as the bathroom smell started to grow too irritating to think straight.
Kano exited the bathroom and crossed the common room quickly, pulling up a seat at the bar. The innkeeper, Bob, was busy serving customers at their tables and Kano again wondered why they went silent as he entered the room. "Probably staring at my out of town fashion sense," Kano said under his breath, wishing whatever game developer had designed the intro saw fit to fix his clothing when he transitioned away from the arena, not just his body. The rips in his shirt and pants made it clear he'd been in some kind of struggle and his complete health made it obvious to anybody with a brain he'd been healed after the altercation.
"Doctor Pepper?" Kano asked for his favorite soft drink when Bob returned to stand behind the bar, just to see what the man’s reaction would be. The portly man fixed Kano with a glare in response.
"Our Three Rivers village doesn't have a doctor, Kano," Bob said. "Best I can offer is myself. However,
despite your ruined clothes,” Bob said, leaning over the bar and giving Kano a slow glance from head to feet, “You don't seem to be in need of healing. Are you sure you're alright?"
"Yes, sorry, I'm fine. Ah, can I have whatever you recommend?" Kano didn't want to discuss how his clothing was ruined and was not surprised Dr Pepper was not available in New Lands Online. Did they have soda water in the middle ages? I have no idea.
Bob nodded, “I’ve got something special here,” he said, grabbing a few glasses from the back of the bar along with a clear glass bottle full of amber colored liquid. Bob poured both glasses three fingers deep and handed one to Kano, the other he kept to himself.
"A toast, to welcome you to our humble village," Bob said, smiling behind his thick beard. He held his glass up to Kano, who copied his movement and raised his glass in turn.
"Health and happiness," Kano replied, glad that the Innkeeper was treating him so nicely. After the arena challenges, sitting and drinking sounded like a great way to wind down.
Bob lifted his glass, looking into Kano's eyes, and downed the amber beverage swiftly. Kano did the same and as the fiery brew slid down his throat and started to roil his insides, he started coughing and felt his stomach seize up. "Wasn’t that a bit strong?” Eyes watering, Kano choked, “You could have warned me.”